RP:Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Part of the Thy Kingdom Come Arc

Summary: Khitti and Daermon meet to discuss Khitti's move to Frostmaw... only for things to descend into an argument that ends in a break up.

Bridge Across the Void

Khitti hadn't been to Vailkrin since she went to meet with Hildegarde. But now that Larewen's decision had been made, she sort of missed the dark city. After the meeting the night before, and actually sleeping (because if she didn't she'd likely hear about it from Daer again), the vampiress decided to take a walk. Before she headed to Vailkrin, she left a note for Daer, trying not to disturb him too much should he wish to stay asleep a bit longer. She heads through the portal, pausing briefly near the entrance to the dark forest, but instead continues on down the road towards the city itself, opting to not go near House Dragana for now. Keeping along the path, she stops finally at the bridge, arms folding on the sides as verdant optics peer over the edge.

Daermon , who had only occasionally been staying in Cenril with Khitti of late, after their last big fight, woke and found her note. He dressed, opting for his full gear today and headed out in search of her. There were things that needed saying before she started staying in Frostmaw. Soon enough he had followed her to the bridge, moving up beside her, being very obvious with his presence. "So..." he says flatly, icy gaze taking in the void.

Khitti really didn't like the fact that he hadn't been staying as much with her. She hated sleeping alone, of course. But, it was probably for the better. When she was sleep deprived she wasn't always of sound mind and he had such low tolerance for her moods some times. Resting her head now on her arms, she tilts her head so that she can look at him, dark eyes sad as she studies him, "So...?" Every time they were apart she missed him, and when they were together they fought. It was just another thing that weighed on her mind. Something else she couldn't deal with well.

Daermon had hoped she would simply tell him the outcome. He had known of her meeting with Larewen thru the grape vine, but didn't know how it had gone. He had missed her, but if she was to be in Frostmaw now...he supposed he would have to get used to that. "How did your meeting go? Was it everything you hoped for?" he asks softly, not turning to look at her just yet. He worried often about the state of their relationship, and recent events had only put it more in question to him.

Khitti 's lips twitch downward into a deep frown as he doesn't look at her at all, her own line of sight shifting away. "She's chosen me to be zhe ambassador." She's hesitant for a moment, but then continues, "I also told her about my magic issue. She made me promise not to try to raise anything vhile I'm in Frostmaw. Vhich...I had already decided on zhat anyway." She thinks about the coming days, verdant hues fixated on the void below them.

Daermon nodded slightly, the slight breeze tearing at his long hair. "I see." he says, finally turning his eyes to her. They were...sad. Surely this was what she wanted, but she must have known, he was not coming with her. "I was at the meeting where HIlde and Larewen spoke of it. I knew it would work out well in your favor." he offered a sad smile, genuinely happy for her. His hands reach out, moving to embrace her, if she'd let him. "I'll miss you, you know that, right?"

Khitti almost didn't embrace him. It was going to be too painful. But as he reached out to her, she crumbled almost immediately. There was no response to his mention of Hildegarde and Larewen. Nothing said about him missing her. Would he? After all the hell she put him through lately? Pushing off the railing of the bridge, she moves into his arms, wrapping her own tightly around his abdomen. "I love you, Daer." She so wished he was coming with her. She needed him more than anything. She wasn't even doing this for Alex anymore. The bard didn't need her. She just...wanted to be useful for once.

Daermon held her back, wishing in one hand to go, weighing his responsibilities in the other. "I love you too Khitti." was all he said instead, because in the end, they both knew she was going to go and he was going to stay. So instead he held her tight. Oh sure, he would make time to come see her, not worrying in the least of getting into Frostmaw, but it wouldn't be the same as spending most nights with her. They would both have to get used to that again. The lack of the other beside them. He would likely move back into the house, having opted to give Larewen one more chance to come thru on her words.

Khitti 's frown worsened as he held her. She let the silence linger between them, hugging the elder vampire more tightly. "I'm coming back." is said after some time, as if he needed the reassurance, though it was more her than him that needed it. "I'm coming back...for you. Only you. And vhen zhis is all over, ve're getting zhat house. I already told Hildegarde vhen I first spoke to her zhat I vould likely not be living in Frostmaw."

Daermon kissed the top of her head, nuzzling her hair. "I'm sure you will...in time. Responsibility is a hard thing to escape, especially if you care for the people involved. I can't say what will happen anymore than you can, but, I still love you. I know you will do great in Frostmaw." He wished it didn't feel so much like goodbye. It was a foolish notion, Frostmaw not being that far, but it was a land in turmoil and that made coming and going much harder.

Khitti looks up at him as the things he says does indeed feel like a goodbye. She definitely wasn't having any of that. Reaching up, she grabs his chin, gently scratching at the bit of stubble that was always there before taking it between her thumb and forefinger to force him to look at her. "Listen to me. I mean vhat I say." After all the the things that had transpired with Alex and Aira, she felt he needed to hear it multiple times. "I just...I need to do zhis. Hildegarde said zhere is a restricted library up zhere vith books zhat might help me. I ~need~ to go. Not even Larewen can help me vith zhis." Crimson brows narrow as she eyes him, "Zhis is ~not~ goodbye, Daermon. Vhile I am gone, ~you~ are going to find a place for our house."

Daermon follows the tugging hand, looking into her eyes as he does. "I thought we already had a spot, with dinosaurs?" he asks, sheepishly, stopping any further words by scooping her into a tight and passionate kiss. Clearly he wasn't ready for a goodbye either.

Khitti grinned into the kiss as he remembered aloud where they had decided on, but doesn't reply as she was enjoying the kiss entirely too much. She nibbles lightly at his bottom lip, pulling away to speak finally as her fingertips trail up his jawline, "Definitely vith zhe dinosaurs. But, is zhere other zhings zhat must be done first? I've never had a house before. Not since I vas little. I don't know zhe first zhing of vhat to do."

Daermon laughed lightly, kissing her again, then, shrugging. "I don't know to be honest either. I haven't had a house in many years. The small one I had once upon a time with Celeste was abandoned and we just, moved right in." he says, smiling warmly to the vampiress.

Khitti nods slightly in understanding, "Ah, I see. Vell, zhen zhat is definitely your job zhen vhile I'm gone. Find a nice spot in Venturil, and find someone who knows something about building houses because I have absolutely no clue." She pulls away from him, reclaiming her spot at the bridge, to look down in the void again. "I vish you vere coming vith me..."

Daermon leaned casually against her, keeping his eyes on her. "I know you do. And you know why I won't be. If it was anywhere else, somewhere that would be easier to come and go, I'd likely go with you. But it's a hot place right now. I'll likely move back into the house for the time being as well."

Folding her arms on the railing again, she frowns at his answer as she rests her head on her arms again, "I know." She was obviously upset about leaving, but as usual, wasn't going to talk about it. The vampiress doesn't say much more for now, unless her were to speak again, as she dwelled on the days to come and what might happen while she were away.

Daermon sighed quietly, turning around and leaning his butt against the railing as he pulled out his cigarette case, clicking it open and taking one out, then closing it again. He lit it with a word and thought, taking a deep drag. "And yet, you aren't going to talk about what's bothering you, are you?"

"Vhat's zhere to talk about?" She moves one arm out from beneath her, and snakes it around his to pull him a bit closer. "Zhere's nothing to be done about any of it."

Laughing quietly, smoke drifting from his nose, he shakes his head. "On day you'll learn that it's better to talk about your problems than keep them bottled up. There might not be anything to do about it, but there might be something that could make you feel better about the situation."

Khitti snorts softly, rolling her eyes at his laughing. "I don't like zhat you're going to live vith Larewen again. I don't like being away from you for so long. I don't like zhe fact that Larewen is acting veird. I have no idea vhat I'm getting myself into. I don't like zhat every time we've been together we've fought.", she rambled on, her tone of voice flat and uninterested in her own emotions. "But on zhe other side of zhings, I need to get into zhe library zhat Hildegarde told me about. I need to solve zhis issue vith my magic. And I need...to feel useful." Her thoughts trail off for the moment, her arm squeezing his ever so slightly, "And...most of all...I'm vorried zhat you're going to find someone else vhile I'm gone."

Daermon squeezed her hand between his arm and side. "Well, I don't know how I feel about moving back into the house, but at least I'll have company with Pilar, Daney and Larewen living there. I don't know how Larewen is acting, she didn't seem that weird when I spoke with her the other day. I don't like how we fight so often, but it's bound to happen I suppose..." he didn't voice the quiet worries he had about that, that perhaps they weren't so right for each other. "You don't have to worry about me finding someone else. I love you, always will." he assures her.

Her frown re-emerges as Daneyfey is mentioned, and then his reassurances of not finding someone else is made. She had her own worries and doubts, especially now that the other fledgling and Daer had made up. Moving to Venturil couldn't come soon enough. The vampiress remains silent, her eyes closing as she takes in that scent of his cigarette, committing it once more to memory.

The elder vampire heaves a soft sigh, thinking of another couple who recently broke up, Artia and Pilar. "Sometimes I fear those two are more like us than we like to admit." he says softly, as if speaking to himself as he takes another long drag.

Khitti managed to catch that thought of the witch and the illusionist along their link, her frown worsening. After some time in her own thoughts, she mutters, "You can leave me if you vant..." Her words were sad, but sounded like she had accepted him doing this a long time ago. She did nothing but drag him down anyway. Made him worry. Yelled at him for no reason the majority of the time. She really wasn't relationship material. Even when him and the high elf were together, she often wondered if she should just leave. No word. Nothing. Just vanish completely.

Daermon turned those icy orbs on her, having retreated behind a mask of stillness. "Is that what you wish? For me to leave? That thought was more about how I enjoy women, many women and for no more reason than because it's fun and I can, like Artia. And you are more like Pilar, hoping to keep me all to yourself and change my...whorish ways."

Khitti was hesitant, but eventually shook her head with a whispered 'no' to accompany it. "I don't vant you to leave...but..." She shakes her head again, sighing as she looks away from him again. "It doesn't matter. I guess I'm just overthinking zhings again." Well, she had been. It wasn't just the studying that had been keeping her up at night, nor was it those nightmares.

Daermon relaxed against the rail, still watching her. "Do tell then love." He liked that she hadn't tried to deny the comparison he'd made. Perhaps she finally saw the truth in it. He didn't want to leave, but he was worried, much to worried that she relied too much on him.

Khitti definitely relied too much on him, and told him as much as she stared over into the black beneath the bridge, "I need you. I don't zhink you need me in zhe same vay zhat I need you. But I'm no good for you. I barely contribute to zhis relationship at all because of my own insecurities and you...vell...you're you." She parts her lips, blowing out a bit of unneeded breath to try to move some stray hair from her eyes. "You don't need me, Daer. You just don't."

Daermon very nearly managed not to laugh. Nearly. But he did, ended up laughing lightly at her words, not because he was trying to hurt her, but because they were amusing. "No, I don't need you. But then, I don't need to eat, or need to sleep or need to fuck either. I do those things because I like to, because they bring me pleasure and joy. Now I can't say it's all sunshine and rainbows with you, but you bring me joy. I love you for those few and far between times when we do have nothing but fun. If that's not enough, then you're welcome to seek more. You only think you need me, because you went so long without anyone. But I'm just a man. And more whorish than most. You'd be fine without me Khitti. Perhaps your world would be a shade or two darker, but fine still."

"I don't zhink I can be alone, Daer." Her world would be dark, but not just by a few shades. He was an everburning light in her world of nightmares and shadows. Perhaps Alex was right, however. Maybe she did hero worship him. He ~had~ swooped in and saved her that day and she'd been attached ever since. She leaves it at that and says no more, instead choosing to stare at the void and avoiding his gaze all together.

Daermon continued to stare at her, the ember glowing fiercely, lighting up his face. "Did I ask you to be alone? I never asked you to go...but you must understand, I have been trying to be something I'm not, for you. I love you Khitti, I do, but perhaps..." it killed him a bit to say it, "Alex is right. I'm not saying that we shouldn't be together, but you discount yourself entirely while venerating me. I'm an amazing guy, you're right there, but you are amazing in your own right."

Khitti did nothing more than shake her head at him, rolling her eyes. She'd never believe him when it came to how 'amazing' she was. Nor could she figure out just why Alex decided to come to her first after he was kicked out of Frostmaw. Even though they were still together, for now, she felt entirely too alone. Especially right now as they had this conversation.

Daermon sighed, sinking into silence. He couldn't force her to understand, couldn't help, so he grew quiet instead. He didn't plan to go anywhere, but he couldn't make any promises either. It was never just a matter of love. Not for someone like him. The unfortunate and unspoken truth was, she was almost too dour for him. While he was a creature of the dark, he lived in the light, loved life and the experiences of a new day. She didn't.

Khitti sulked quietly as he also remained silent. She wondered if she should even come back from Frostmaw. If there'd be a home for her to come back to. If he'd still be there waiting. She'd end up having no one but Amarrah once again, and at this point, the shadow being wasn't enough anymore.

Daermon was sad, irritated and a little angry. Every time. No matter what he tried to do, it seemed like it would end in a fight. They were just too different he supposed. Or maybe the stress was making Khitti worse, he didn't know, but he kept his thoughts to himself still. Let her be the one to speak for a change and try to fix it. He simply stared off into the void, absently wondering what would happen if he dove over the side.

Khitti didn't even know if she should fix it. Perhaps she ~was~ doomed to be alone. Pushing off of the railing, she turns around and sinks down onto the ground, dark eyes staring at the floor of the bridge beneath her feet. The stress was definitely making her worse, but she'd never tell him. What would there be for him to do? He wasn't going to go with her to Frostmaw. She didn't even feel like she could depend on Alex anymore as a friend. He had been off doing only the gods' know what with his alcohol and drugs and she hadn't seen him since they left Frostmaw. Everyone was going away. Just like they always did.

Daermon watched and despaired. What could he do or say? She had made her choices...and unfortunately had to live with them. He reminded himself that she was the one who wanted to go to Frostmaw. That she had wanted to help Alex. That she was in a sense, leaving, pulling away. "I'll always be here...if you want to talk, or need help. But for now, this has become too depressing for me. I think I hear Cenril calling my name and perhaps one of the nice beaches. Want to come?" he asks, guessing that she wouldn't.

The vampiress' mood grew even worse as he spoke, her shoulders slumping somewhat. Hearing that was ~really~ what she needed right now. She couldn't readily pull herself from this mood. There were too many things at stake and too many things weighing on her mind. When Cenril is spoken of and then the beach, crimson brows knit together, her dark line of sight shifting towards him, "You...actually vant me to go vith you?"

Daermon knelt before her, on the balls of his feet, the perfect balance he'd attained thru his years of training. He then calmly reached forward, and flicked her forehead. Not hard enough to injure, but hard enough to get someone's attention. "Do you pay any attention at all?" he asks. "All I've been trying to tell you this whole time is that I want you with me. But apparently, your listening skills could use as much improvement as your mood." He lowered his hand, meeting her eyes. "Let me ask you a question, in all seriousness and I want you to think about it before you answer."

Khitti winced as one would when they're flicked on the forehead, though of course, it didn't hurt her. She was still entirely unsure; he could do so much better than her, you know. He had, in fact, when it came to Milly and Aira. She narrows her eyes a little at him, if only because of the flicking, swatting his hand away. "Okay?...Vhat is it?"

Daermon took his hand away, catching that stray thought and unable to contain his laughter. "I won't say better. I do miss Milly. She was a nice bit of sunshine. But Aira? You must be kidding Khitti. Or perhaps you truly are delusional. Aira was worse than you, because you haven't started intentionally hurting yourself. So, my question is this, do you like being the way you are? Do you like being sad and moody and depressed?" he asks.

Khitti didn't know any of the things that Aira did, nor she even care about the high elf now. She listened to his words however as he asked her those questions, and thought on them silently. Of course she didn't. She ~wanted~ to be happy. But with things the way they were, what was there to be happy about? Finally, she shakes her head to him and voices these thoughts of hers, verdant hues shifting towards the ground again. "No. But zhere is just so much going on. I zhought zhat going to Frostmaw and helping vould in turn help me, but...I'm just going to lose you. No, it's already starting. I can feel it. I vant to help people. To help Hildegarde to protect zhem from the dark magic up zhere, to keep vhat happened to me from maybe happening to someone else, but...you're so far away from me now...Everything just feels pointless."

Daermon sighs again, watching her closely. "You are making excuses for you mood. The only person in charge of that, is you. You want to be happy? Be happy. You want to be sad, be sad. You want to be angry, be angry. The only one in charge is you. I've been a slave twice, lost more than you can ever imagine, lost several women I love and am apparently currently losing another. Yet, I refuse to let the muck of these situations ruin the light in my life. You must decide Khitti, if you want to be part of that light, or part of the dark. Because you always keep saying, once this is done, once that is done...but it's always something new. I'm not sure you know how to be happy. And until you decide if you want to be, or think you deserve to be...I'm not sure what to do. I won't live in the dark with you. I love you. I truly do, but I won't. I lived there more than long enough. I won't go back."

The vampiress stared at the ground, listening still to his words. It was almost as if something in her woke up. It wasn't something exactly that he wanted however. "Zhen I vill remain here by myself. In zhe darkness." Khitti pushed herself up off the ground, sidestepping away from him. He couldn't understand the weight that was on her shoulders. It wasn't even just Frostmaw. It was her magic too. If she didn't help Hilde, she couldn't get into the restricted library. If she couldn't do that...well then...she'd have to resort to other ways of getting in there.

Daermon sadly shook his head. "Then yes, you will. Everything with you is always so serious. It's always urgent. Have you ever thought about what if it just didn't matter? You're only worried about your magic because you need it. But what if you didn't?" he asks, rising to his feet. "You speak of living together in a house, but you still wouldn't be happy. You'd always be looking for the next emergency, the next problem. Always looking for someone to need you." he shook his head again, genuine sadness now. "You've pulled so far away from me of late, and you haven't even realized it. When was the last time we just spent the day together and didn't talk about any of this depressing crap? Or when was the last time we made love?" he asks, watching her. "Tell me Khitti, how am I supposed to feel about those things? The void between us?"

"Maybe ~you~ should actually take something serious for once, Daer. Things are always happening around us and you just vant to ignore all of it. I can't do zhat. I won't freaking do it vhen people I care about are also in zhis var. It's not even just Alex. Alex doesn't even need me anymore. Pilar's going to be zhere too, Daer. You really zhink she can take care of herself?" She shakes her head and moves past him, her back to him now. "Larewen's clearly going to be of no help to us. She's too concerned with her politics. She can't help me at all. And you...You're even going to go back to living with that self-centered she-beast?!"

Daermon arched an eyebrow. "Maybe she's right? I take things serious when I must. But I think you forget, those people chose to be a part of that war, as you are now. Pilar chose to be there. It is her job as an adult to decide if she has the skills needed to handle herself. Such a petty squabble too, over a bit of frozen land. And yes, I am going to go back to living there. I like Larewen, for the most part. And it is the closest thing I've had to a home in a long time." he shook his head, taking a drag on his cigarette. "Do what you must Khitti. That has always been my counsel. But don't expect me to feel rocked by the minor politics of the frost giants and the deposed. Has anyone stopped to think maybe the giants are in the right here?"

Khitti only grew more angry as he spoke so highly of the elder vampiress, "Fine, Daermon. You go ahead take her side zhen. She'll fail you again, just as she has already. You know I'm right. Regardless of vhether or not you ~have a home~." She gives another shake of her red-haired head. "And as for zhe damned frost giants, it's not vhether or not zhey're in zhe right. Zhey're slaughter innocent people! People zhat despite vhat zhe giants zhink, have been zhere for just as long and have a home zhere! Vhat vould you do if someone came to claim zhe forest House Dragana vas in? You'd have no choice but to fight. Or vould you run away zhen too?" She pivots about to face him again, yanking at the chain on her neck to pull it free forcefully. "Maybe you should quit messing around in your little vorld of light and actually care about something." She throws the necklace to his feet, "I know I've told Pilar zhat it can't rain all zhe time, but right now it's pouring...and I needed you and you can't even bother to be anything more zhan a shadow."

Daermon bent down, scooping up the necklace without a comment on it, putting it in his pocket. His face had lost all emotion as he spoke, hiding the hurt at her actions behind his mask. "She will do as she will do. And I'm not running from anything. I think you misinterpret my inaction. I simply don't care. I don't care if they killed innocents. So have I. You want the truth? I could care less about Frostmaw or it's people or it's problems. The same can be said about any of the places around hollow. I could literally care less. You do as you wish. I'm sorry I couldn't be the think you had built me to be in your mind. I'm sorry I couldn't live up to that." He slowly folds his hands together, pulling her father's ring from it's place on his finger and holding it out to her. "I love you. I hope you enjoy Frostmaw. It's cold and dark...like you." he says softly, that last barb meant to hurt, just as her comment had hurt him.

"It's not zhat you couldn't live up to it, it's zhat you didn't want to. You didn't vant to try. You're so set in your hedonist lifestyle, going around screwing whomever you vant zhat you couldn't see zhat maybe...just maybe...I vanted more for us." His words definitely stung her to her core, but she bit back the tears that tried to flood so quickly, "Zhe house...just us." She shakes her head, frowning, her anger fading into that sadness again, "I vanted to marry you, Daer. If you vould've had me...I vas going to ask you after I returned..." She takes a step away from him. Now, there would be nothing but the cold, dark wasteland waiting for her. The ring is eyed, but not taken.

Daermon sets the ring down after she doesn't take it, backing away. "I'm set in my lifestyle because I like it. I was always honest with you about how I was, you were the one who never wanted to see the truth of it. As for marriage, I was most definitely the wrong man for that. I've never wanted, or needed a title to know my love is genuine. I wanted the house and you, but no, not marriage. Again, I'm sorry to disappoint." he slowly turned, the cigarette being tossed over the side of the bridge as he begins to walk away, stopping to call back over his shoulder. "I love you Khitti, I always will. You know how to reach me should you wish to talk more." he says, then unless stopped, carried on his way.

As he walks away, she moves forward to snatch up the ring and tosses it over the side of the bridge to join the elder's cigarette in the void. He knew nothing of the darkness she had been in before, and now she would return to it again. The hood of her duster is pulled up quickly, hiding the tears that now flowed as she walked in the opposite direction, headed towards the cemetery.