RP:When The Frak Are We Getting Married, Bro?

Summary: Meri, already grumpy thanks to Fleur and the heat, confronts Cal about their wedding and when it's going to happen. After a little arguing, they finally start making plans. Also, Cal loses a child. RIP

The Greenhouse (Rochester-Boyce Residence), Sage Forest

Callum || It was hot today in Sage Forest-- -too- goddamn hot. So much so that Callum had a magical breeze circulating in the greenhouse as he worked away at pruning dead leaves from them, watering the ones that had to be closely monitored, and even speaking directly to the ones that needed a little coaxing when it came to growing or staying fit. “Lookitchu. You’re such a pretty orchid. Yes you are,” he said, lightly watering the flower’s soil with his water magic, droplets forming on his fingertips so he didn’t accidentally overwater it. Sometimes not even he could save them then. He’d continue moving around throughout the greenhouse, attending to the ones that really needed it.

Meri :: It was a hot day indeed, and while someone has decided to try and escape the heat by enjoying a cool breeze in a relaxing setting such as the greenhouse...? Another someone is on kid duty apparently. On a hot day. Hot days tend to make for cranky toddlers and cranky toddlers tend to make for unhappy mothers. This unhappy mother has decided she is apparently jealous of Callum's relaxing quiet time in his greenhouse, so she enters the scene! With a cranky toddler. Sorry Callum. "Listen. Your devil spawn of a child is about driving me up the wall today with her fussing and tearing everything apart inside the house." Cue Meri holding out said child for Callum to take. Meri doesn't want it anymore today...! "Why don't you water this plant for a little while, hm? Literally. Put your water magic to good use or something and make her a puddle to splash around in." Making a mess outside > making a mess inside.

Callum’s woman was promptly greeted with a deer-in-headlights look. A child? In his plant kingdom?! This was a bad idea. “B-but! I was almost done!” Fleur was so cranky that once Cal finally took hold of her, she reached over and promptly strangled his precious orchid. She shook it so much, the soil and plant released themselves from the pot and said pot crashed to the floor. Fleur made a mess. This made Fleur happy. Meanwhile, Cal’s screaming internally and wasn’t sure whether or not to be angry or if he should cry. Eventually he just… sighed. That was it. A tiny part of his soul died that day. In the future, daddy would have to teach Fleur not to manhandle one of the most difficult plants to take care of! But, today was not that day. Defeated, he didn’t even bother tearing the flower from Fleur’s grasp. Keeping his monster-child an arm’s length away from him, he marched past Meri and took their daughter outside. Once they were in a place with enough room? He’d set her and her very dead plant “friend” on the ground. And then? He’d make with creating a storm cloud above Fleur, sans lightning of course. It’d start out as a trickle. And then she’d immediately get drenched. That was revenge. The rain would soon even out though, like a nice sprinkler.

Meri felt just a little bit bad that Callum lost one of his precious flowers, and yet...it was part of parenthood. Meri's soul has probably died a little bit at various points of raising this child. It likely was not the death of a plant that did this, probably something more like 'she just spent all day trying to mix that perfect shade of blue and turned her back for one second...and now it's on the floor thanks to a toddler.' Meri's empathy does not shine through in this moment though. Instead, the look that Callum gets when he tries to explain that he's almost done....? Well, we'll just say it's probably good they're taking a quick little walk outside and that Cal is quick to summon up a bit of water to keep Fleur entertained. The child is instantly in a better mood, runs around gleefully with her murdered flower friend. Meri on the other hand is still in a fine she-devil mood. Her words are half-joking, but also...not. "Pleaaase, you're never almost done out there. You love your plants more than you love us." Meri sticks her tongue out at this point, but she doesn't stop there. "Why, I bet if you were engaged to one of your little precious plants you probably already would have tied the knot and sealed the deal."

Callum || Meri herself got a side-eyed look that wasn’t particularly the nicest either as she followed behind them. Fleur also got the same look, but thankfully she was far too concerned with her lovely rainshower. “Well, I -would- be almost done if every single time I hired someone to be my assistant, things didn’t get all frakked to hell and back.” It’s happened twice now. He understood the reasoning for these things, but he was still bitter about it. Who else is he going to trust to help him? Who would he hire? It’s not like he knew any other witches that would have experience in this department. And to make matters worse, whenever the Healer’s Guild’s greenhouse was finally built and finished, he was going to have even -more- work on his hands when it came to plants. He was probably the least busy out of all the other healers, after all. “When have we had the time to get married, Meri? When we were getting hunted? When we were attempting to get things sorted out with Lanara and Talyara to get rid of Caiburne? When I was trying to help Eleanor with her freak plants?” It felt like any time he started something, it ended up falling into the abyss. “I also wanted Caiburne to be gone entirely before we -did- get married. As like… a fresh start or something. I saw your sister the other day in Kelay and it turns out the reason why her student hasn’t shown up is because there’s political hell going on between the Mage’s Guild and Larket. To the point that Quintessa got arrested. So. I have no idea when we can get rid of him.” He -had- urged Khitti to let the girl know that this was very important. Khitti knew, of course, but despite being a part of the guild, she had very little ties to the things going on, if any at all. “I just… wanted it to be a positive thing for once, instead of maybe ending up like everything else,” he said, frowning as he watched Fleur.

Meri is none too surprised by the response that Cal gives her on this topic, it's the same logic that he provides when it comes to many aspects of their relationship. "When have we had time? I don't know, Cal. I think when people actually want to get married they manage to make the time. Now maybe all those pregnant woman hormones affected my memory, but I swore that when I first told you about Fleur you said you were going to make a point to make that time." Meri motions to a child who is growing up quite quickly. "You going to wait until she's eighteen and out of the house...?" Meri crinkles up her nose. "I'm more than willing to make the time for you, I'd view it as a positive moment in my life regardless. It's always going to be something, before the ghost it was the witch hunters. There will be some horrible reason to put it off after we solve your ghost problem too." Meri shrugs, she was already losing steam and feeling defeated in this fight. Why does this even need to be a fight? The temptation to storm off in a huff was growing, but Meri resisted...for the moment.

Callum || There wasn’t any turning of Cal’s frown upside down. No, it only worsened as Meri went on. “No, of course I’m not waiting until she’s moved out. And yes, I did say that we were going to make time. I’m not saying I don’t want to, Meri.” Cal sighed again. Occasionally with the movement of an index finger, he’d switch up the water pressure of the cloud he’d made for Fleur or the pattern it came out in, making her have to chase after the rain and hopefully ridding her of some of her energy. “Who are we going to get to do this? We can’t get Lanara obviously and Talyara’s been so busy I’ve not even seen her, even at the House of Ara. I’m not keen on the religious folk in your sister’s guild or any of the higher ups in Cenril. We still don’t know all of what Hudson’s got his hands in there.” Or did they? Callum’s never been fully sure about that stuff anymore. Especially considering how many lies Eleanor told too. There’s -always- more strings being pulled. “And another question is where? Do we tell whomever it is that’s gonna marry us where we live? Do we find some place else?” He wasn’t trying to argue about it at this point, but there were still some obvious details they needed to iron out.

Meri :: Oh how easy it would be to escalate this fight. Meri could start by resisting even planning all of these details with Callum on the basis that she does not want to make these plans while they are fighting. The thought crosses her mind, as she doesn't really want to be planning wedding details in the form of a fight. However, this discussion has been a long time coming. So Meri does her best to keep her emotions in check. This is partly done by keeping her blue eyes fixed on their daughter rather than on Callum. "Honestly I don't care if we have some random court official in Cenril marry us. Or Kelay. Or Enchantment. You know I have never wanted anything big or flashy. Half the things that women fuss about when it comes to their wedding probably would not even cross my mind...?" Like the dress. Meri has not actually thought an ounce about what she'd wear to such an occasion. "Why don't we just see of Brand is willing to officiate on his pretty little boat."

Callum || “I know. I don’t really care about any of that either. It’s, just, our lack of trusting people makes things like this, even with the tiny bit of planning we have to do, difficult,” Cal said with a faint smirk. “Not that I’m complaining, because it really doesn’t affect much otherwise, but it’s still a thing -right now-.” He cringed a little when Meri brought up Brand. Really? That guy? “Does Brand even know how to do anything like this? He does… not seem like the officiating type.” Sigh. “But… he’s probably as good as it’s gonna get.” More questions pop into Cal’s head. “Do you want a cake? Not anything huge obviously. Do we even want to worry about vows? If it’s something we don’t do and regret it down the line, we could always get re-married and do it “properly”.” Yes, he did the whole thing with air quotes too. “Or as “properly” as it’s gonna get with us.” Not that her sister’s wedding was anything proper.

Meri :: The fact that Cal pressed on with the wedding topic managed to convince the blonde that maybe this was a subject he had an interest in, beyond her fit throwing. It diffused her attitude a bit, and she responded to his concern about Brand and his officiating capabilities with a lopsided smirk. "Well, he is married. So I feel like he at least has some vague idea of how it's supposed to go. I'm sure he'll put some sort of spin on it, if he agrees, but a ship wedding seems a fitting alternative." The other alternative being a witch wedding, except all their witch friends have so much going on. "I feel like we have to say yes to a cake even if it's just a small one." She points to their child, who seems to be losing steam on this whole 'running through the water' thing. Which was good for the parents. It meant that dad could just hose the mud off her and maybe when they go back inside they'll be blessed with a toddler who wants to have a nap. Maybe. "We'll not be forgiven if we don't at least have a small cake."

Callum does indeed get rid of the raincloud finally and hosed Fleur off. How does he do this? With a giant stream of water! It’s somewhere between a normal garden hose and a fire truck hose in strength and knocked Fleur on her ass. Don’t worry. She’s fine. She loved it because she’s insane. “I suppose, if you really think it’s okay. I’m gonna trust your judgement, but if he fraks this up, I’m throwing him off the ship in the same manner I got us out of that cave with Eleanor,” he said with a smirk. He wasn’t kidding about this. It’ll be fine. Brand knows how to swim. “What kind of cake? I don’t particularly have a preference. Should we let She-Devil Number Two decide our fate with that one?” This could potentially be a bad idea. She could pick a mudpie of all things.

Meri narrows her eyes when Callum mentions -that- incident, the expression does not last for long but that was really not a great moment in her life. It hurt. A bit. They're going to be old and gray and she'll still probably feel salt any time that moment is mentioned. "As long as he's the only one going for a ride..." Meri shrugs her shoulders in a helpless fashion, "I guess if that's how it goes down then we'll at least have one very entertaining wedding story. Better than entertaining than dramatic." You know, like the best man sleeping with a married maid of honor or something. Meri eyes her rather insane child, wondering which parent she got this from. Surely it was Callum. It had to be. "Uh...maybe we should let Khitti surprise us with deciding what sort of cake we should have. I think that is a much safer decision than letting our little weed have her say."

Callum || “I mean, if you get unruly, I’ll do it to you too,” Cal said, sticking his tongue out at Meri. “There’ll be less stone this time!” He was kidding, of course. He’s not stupid enough to do that again. Unless it was an emergency. “I suppose… if anyone dresses up, we should probaaaably get Fleur a new dress.” This was met with cheers from their daughter that’d finally stopped giggling and got up off the ground. Cal did a final sweep with the water, albeit with a much lower water pressure, to make sure the mud was off. “But, you need to be good and not drive your mother insane. And no more mangling my plants.” Plants are people too, Fleur. They are to Cal at least. “-And- go to bed when you’re told.” There was a bit of whining and a sigh from their kid. She didn’t like the arrangement, but she did like it when her father took her dress shopping. “Good idea on the cake though. I’m sure she’ll be able to figure it out.”

Meri would let Cal try and make these deals with their daughter, knowing full well that pretty much none of these would from to fruition. At some point Fleur would still drive Meri insane, Cal would definitely have to witness more of his plants being murdered...at least for another year or two....and the struggle for a decent bedtime would be an going issue. It's a good thing they only want to make one of these little minions, eh? Meri picks up a now clean but soaking wet Fleur, a detail she clearly does not mind. "Well, a short and not too hard to accomplish to do list. First though thing is first though...I think it is might turn to try and put our mini down...? Which means you're going to figure out how to feed us tonight, right....?"

Callum picked up his other child as Meri picked up Fleur. The other child being his dead orchid. He eyed it carefully, realized there was definitely no saving it. Why were there so many murdery womenfolk in this family? Cal cannot understand it. “Yes go deal with her. I’ll start something in a few. Maybe we can eat our daughter’s first murder victim.” That was a joke. Cal’s gonna go have a very brief, but good cry as a funeral for his precious plant and then actually make something normal for dinner.