RP:The potted oatmeal question
Hanging Corpse Tavern 21st Sept 2011
Why is a rat when it spins?
Rowen said to Gazhi, "You have my permission to approach.."The little rat scratches behind her ear."...and pay your respects to the supreme empress of the known universe."
Gazhi sat amongst the commonfolk of a most uncommon city. Ghouls and vampires, revenenants and...rats? The madman twisted on his stool, matted hair a-flailing. His hands were contorting crazily, and his eyes never settled upon a fixed point. "Why is a rat when it spins?" he queried the Supreme Empress of all the known universe.
Rowen grins "Ah! An intelligent philosophical discussion. How wonderful to meet such a refined and educated man in this gods forsaken backwater of a world. "When is a rat not a hat? And when is spin mere propoganda?" She cleans her whiskers contentedly.
Gazhi allowed his cracked and parched lips to squander a smile. His whining falsetto voice carried well in the relatively quiet span of the tavern as he declared, "Yesterday! But where was the cat? Was the cat?" His hands made a leap towards the ceiling upon the last two words, writhing and snaking its way down in a very unnatural way.
Why is the cat not wearing rearview mirrors?
Rowen curls her tail around her comfortably. She is enjoying this immensely. "Mitsuko is often to be found in Kelay Tavern. But, the most important question is....Why is the cat not wearing rearview mirrors as demanded by my imperial proclamation made in the interests of the safety of all my beloved subjects. I am the chief health and safety inspector of these lands. That is number 1171 on my list of titles. I never tell anyone all of them, there just isn't time, I generally just inform them of some of the more important ones like chief rat catcher of Larket."
Gazhi made a popping sound with an artful application of pressure to one cheek. "Might have something to do witht he potted oatmeal." His eyes rolled back behind their lids for a second before resettling in their own listless way. His high-pitched voice carried a strange tune, and made for a very ethereal sound. "Snot goes down. Say, snot goes back up. I said snot goes down. Now I guess it's dribbling out." The octaves of his strained voice rhythmically tumbled lower and lower upon each syllable of the last six words, bringing his voice down to a deep almost bass tone. Funny song for a funny man.
The potted oatmeal question
Rowen nods seriously. "Ah yes the potted oatmeal question, that's not an easy one to solve even for an onmiscient supreme empress of the entire universe. I might be omniscient, but that doesn't mean I know everything!" She calls over to Steadman. "Ninety three pieces of asparagus exactly 41mm in length my good man! Hop to it!" The three legged rat then turns back to speaking to the wise scholar with his knowledge of the potted oatmeal dilemma. "Can I see your risk assessment for this conversation please. Also you really -need- to wash your neck more often sir. A vampire might become quite unwell were he to bite it in the current state. Have you no concern for the well being of your fellow citizens?"
Gazhi oocly would love to continue this if it can be saved and post-poned, by the way. And thank you! :d