RP:The Old Familiar Faces

Part of the What You Leave Behind Arc

Summary: Lionel and Meri speak for the first time since the psion's harrowing experience in the Shadow Plane. Before the war, the Catalian would not have been able to broach subjects of attachment and shared tragedy so openly. Now, he lives in blatant compassion, and he attempts to console Meri. The attempt, while noted, can only succeed so much. For Meri's experiences have changed her, too, and she must chart a new course in life as a result. Meri tells Lionel he must be the one to lead the Alliance, prompting him to promise her he'll return from the upcoming Shadow Plane expedition. In turn, Lionel begs his friend to meet with him sometime thereafter, where they can further discuss the things there's simply no time for now.

Bridge to the East

Meri was in plain sight, occupying a spot that she has claimed for herself numerous times during her years in these lands. The blonde woman was sitting rather precariously on the guard rail of the bridge. It has been awhile since she has been seen here, usually she cannot pass through this spot without moving with fast paced step. Not since Khitti's death. Those who have encountered Meri in this spot in the past usually find the woman with her sketchbook spread out across her lap, but that was absent today. Lionel was not one of those individuals who would find this to be particularly out of place, how many times have they been in this spot together? Once? On that ill-fated day? What Meri is doing, however, is holding on to the rail she perches upon while braving a good lean forward so that she can peer down into the depths of the chasm below. Forward she leans, until she feels she is right at the point of slipping, but don't worry! Meri's not a jumper. Foolish, perhaps, because accidents happen, but the blonde does stop tempting fate and soon leans back into a more securely seated position.

Lionel tends to step briskly down this bridge, too. For him there are numerous reasons: he’d rather not peer up at the visibly deteriorating magical barrier surrounding Cenril, he moves fast to a fault, and -- most importantly -- because this is the place where Khitti died. They share that pain, he and Meri. Nevermind that Khitti came back; she died, and she suffered in the dying, and they saw that and suffered similarly. Winter’s last chills blow his loose-fitting scarlet silks into a puffing frenzy as he strides, head downcast to avoid gazing up at that barrier, face slanted rightward to ignore the left rails where his surrogate sister fell. The day’s final rays of sunlight send the barrier sparkling obnoxiously and daring Lionel to look up. It’s a pretty sight unless it isn’t. The thinness of the field somehow only serves to invite further sparkles, making a mockery of the fact that Kahran will invade the moment it’s shattered. Lionel’s lips twist into a snarl and he very nearly opts for a sprint into the city, but in feeling woefully compelled to take his eyes off of the bridge’s stone, he’s spotted Meri’s back. The rest of her, it seems, is perilously close to falling. It’s an odd thing for the man who feared Meri’s death only just recently to espy her -- for only the second time since her return from the Shadow Plane -- leaning directly over the spot their mutual companion had died. Sometimes, Lionel muses gloomily, serendipity sucks. He resists the urge to call out to her, worried it might startle her into plummeting. Instead, he walks up to the rail several meters away, and joins her in the leaning. Once he’s confident she’ll have caught him in her peripheral, if not heard his approach in the first place, he’ll talk. “Good to see you.”

Meri did not see Lionel's approach, not entirely. At first it was just a blur of movement somewhere in her peripheral. It could be anyone really, this bridge was often traveled. It's takes her a moment to really catch him within her sight and by the time that she does, she is looking straight at him. His approach will not take her by surprise and be the reason she slips up on her hold and plunges to her death. Lips find a brief smirk at Lionel's choice of greeting. "Some things never change." Meri remarks, before repeating. "It's good to see you too." Speaking such sentiments as a leader felt rather odd to Meri, but she mirrored them nonetheless. Meri turns confidently on the rail of that bridge she is sitting on, so legs no longer dangle over the chasm. Once the bridge is beneath her feet, Meri motions toward the failing barrier of Cenril. "I'm tempted to skip asking how you are because I think I know the answer. You are running yourself ragged trying to play the role of hero, because that is what you do." A brow is lifted as blue eyes come to rest upon Lionel's face, hand that was waving toward that barrier finding a comfortable place at her side. "But how are you?"

Lionel certainly can’t deny that. The dark spots beneath his eyes are a small price to pay for it. In truth, he’s paid far steeper prices. But dwelling on it now won’t do him any good. He’s spent enough of his life listening to the words of Khitti, Brand, Esche, Hildegarde -- indeed, Meri as well -- to know when to stare inward and when to keep his eyes on the road. The road tonight, as it happens, is Meri Boyce. Of all the ten thousand and one things Lionel has chased to achieve like an infatuated lover in some metaphysical play, from saving the world to preserving it to carrying the burdens of his peers to finding peace for what he’s lost straight across to the here-and-now of restoring this city’s magical barrier and resurrecting Valrae, catching up with Meri has been far closer to the top of the heavy, sleepless list than the bottom. Despite himself, Catal’s Last Prince has carried a serene gaze lately. His easy speech patterns have only become more pronounced, except when they haven’t, which is when he cracks. He decides very early into this conversation that he is not going to crack. Whatever it is that Meri has endured, he will not crack. “Yeah,” Lionel admits, casually. He throws his left arm up over the railing and kicks against it with his right leg. The wind blows over his popped collar, smacking his neck. He doesn’t seem to notice, let alone care. “I’d say ‘someone’s gotta do it; it might as well be me’, but I feel like that’s oversimplifying things. I’ve never not felt like it -has- to be me, and that kind of outlook wears us thin.” Lionel is in fact thinner than he once was. “With the war on, though... “ He sighs. There’s a lot he could say. But he doesn’t want this to be about that unless it has to be. Meri isn’t blind. She’ll have seen the fires burning from one edge of Lithrydel to the next. She’ll be well aware that Kahran has claimed the lives of tens of thousands, extinguished the small villages doting much of the countryside, conquered Schezerade, and continues to strike with impunity from… the Shadow Plane. Lionel bites his lip softly and shakes his head. “So it goes. Some things really -do- never change. I’m tired. But I’ve wanted to speak with you for some time.” Likely, they’ll both know how long. She’s been back for several weeks now, after all. His voice, gentle, becomes gentler still. “I’ve never been the best at opening these kinds of dialogs. I’m kind of a mess and all. But I’m uh. I’m really happy you made it back. And I’m sorry you didn’t come through with us. And I’d have gone back… I would have done anything for an ally and a friend. But Kh…” Are those tears in his eyes? Lionel really -has- changed.

Meri's gaze cuts away from Lionel when he mentions that he has wanted to speak to her for some time and they do not return until his sentence is cut short. Meri is not quick to pick up the broken sentence with a fresh one of her own, it has been awhile since anyone has broached this subject with her. Most have already spoken her apologies, leaving Meri to sweep the memories beneath the rug and making her less certain of how to react in this moment. The tears did not help. Meri has this weird thing with people crying, she tries to avoid doing it herself but that is also an endeavor that she is failing at. The smile that her lips once held melts into a frown, Meri's shoulders lifting into an uncertain shrug. "Khitti had a...I don't even know what....attached to her stomach. You guys had to get that off. It could have been two lives lost if you did not. She is like family to you guys. What were you supposed to do? It's not like we did not sign up knowing full well that there were not dangerous. It's not something worth apologizing over." There would be another shrug, followed by Meri shoving herself off of the edge of the bridge completely and stepping away from Lionel a grand total of three steps. When she stops it is with her back to Lionel and her gaze on the city of Cenril. "If it's not one war than it is another. This one seems personal. It has to be you."

Lionel has unquestionably failed not to crack. In light of this, it’s all he can do not to shatter. This -isn’t- about him, so why is he tearing up? The simple, dissonant reality is that his entire existence is a series of tethers between other people. The only thing that kept him alive upon his return to Lithrydel two years ago was what he thought was surely the biggest tether of all: the collective well-being of the people. But in the time he’s spent here hence, other tethers, personal tethers, have grown so much larger. Individual ties that have bound him in all the best, worst, deepest ways. Meri is one of those ties. Losing her would have hurt like losing Briar. Or Shogo. Or Renai. Or Morivan. Or Alexia. “It has to be you,” Meri’s words ring through him with intent. Maybe this -is- about him, after all. He grimaces and his tears stop draining down his cheeks.The brave face routine was never exactly his forte, anyway. Whatever his faults, Lionel will try his damnedest to be supportive of a recently-imperiled friend. Maybe, for the moment, that means willingly talking about himself instead. He straightens his back and pulls him free from the railing, trailing his way beside the psion and three steps to her right. “Khasad and Elazul almost destroyed Lithrydel. Sins come a dime a dozen, but one of my worst was failing to finish the job. Kahran was just some faceless soldier in the ranks back then. He isn’t faceless anymore. But if that weren’t enough, he’s the man who scoured Catal. Brand, Callum, myself -- we number among the last of us. I failed to finish the job, and Kahran made a whole realm pay for it. Now he’s back to finish the mission his dead masters started. It -is- personal,” he confirms.

Meri might have grappled with some of the statements that Lionel made, tried to put up arguments against them, she might have done that prior to her time in the Shadow Planes. It would be warranted, it's not a sin, not something he should blame himself for, because how could he have known? Isn't the eradication of an entire army usually considered a sinful, because what of the concept of mercy? It might have been the start of some philosophical debate between the two of them. Neither are in the mental capacity to take on such a discussion. Callum's name is spoken by Lionel and once more Meri's blue eyes are on the Catalian. This time her gaze is a dark one, bordering on angry, making this stare one of the more unpleasant expressions given. It's a few pegs below that roll of the eyes that Lionel is more prone to earning from her. Meri does not go out of her way to explain the meaning behind the look, the explanation is not reasonable anyway. She does not want to see Callum involved, even if ignoring the issue of Kahran was not possible. Everyone was involved, like it or not. 'Keep Callum out of this' would not actually be spoken, the subject would press on. "It has to be you because it seems like he wants it to be you." But Meri has not spoken directly to Kahran, she has only seen him a few fleeting moments, her interpretation could be inaccurate. "The skull in Enchantment has been collected." If Lionel had not already heard. "Lanara. And I've heard talk that one was found in Rynvale too." Okay, she's downplaying that last statement. Heard talk. Pfft.

Lionel | Twilight brings a glimmer across the barrier. The bells of evening ring across Cenril, but the citizenry, having grown accustomed to the glimmer, no longer need them. It’s a faint static-electric radiance, swirling through the region comfortably. Every night, the sun goes down and the radiance swells. Lionel’s vision seems to double when Valrae’s spirit floats down the bridge, gliding in and out of the rails and over the chasm. Should he tell Meri? Will she sense her in any way? Valrae turns, her pale suggestion of a face scanning the distance where the two living persons stand, her hair falling in curls that stand a little too upright, as if the magic from the barrier that she herself helped erect is having an impact. Does she see them? Valrae appeared when the glimmering radiance began. Yet she also appeared as soon as Meri told Lionel that the leader of this Alliance must be him. Which reason, then? Or perhaps neither? He can’t say. Tonight, the witch is transient, skirting over death’s chasm curiously, daringly. Then, Meri mentions the skulls, and an aura builds across Valrae’s form. Lionel looks Meri head-on with a smile. “I didn’t know. That’s good news. Only two remain. We’ll have her back soon. Cenril will be spared. Valrae Baines-Older can help lead her fractured people anew.” The spirit, as if satisfied, fades over the ledge. Lionel does not feel darkly about that. There’s a calmness in the radiance coursing through Cenril now, a calmness that Meri, a psion, may also detect. “How are you holding up, truly?” It’s about time he asked.

Meri :: Did Meri see Valrae? She has before, knocking on the door of Valrae's old him with a bouquet of flowers to try and cheer up a sad old lady who lost both daughter and son-in-law within too short of a timespan. It took much effort on Valrae's part to make such an encounter happen. Could she now? Perhaps. If what Lionel was seeing was not a figment of his imagination, if it was something Valrae wanted. Perhaps. If she did not then Meri would not reveal it, but it could explain why the woman who would usually more in control of her emotions was tearing up. Meri had considered Valrae one of her close friends and to see her spirit would be enough to cause Meri to track. But maybe that was not it. Lionel was insisting on circling back to that subject that Meri thought they had pushed passed. Her, how she was. Khitti has asked Meri the same, and the answer that Lionel would receive would be similar. "I'm trying to figure my way, some days are easier than others. I'm happier to see some faces than others. Some faces are happier to see me than others. It has been an interesting time being back..." This answer was almost word for word the one that she gave Khitti. But there is a pause, a consideration, a compelling, and Meri doesn't know why. "But I'd be lying if I did not think the lot of you would be better off if I was not still stuck in the Shadow Planes." That part Khitti did not hear. Why? Meri mostly did not want to worry her pregnant friend more than Khitti was already worrying. Compare Khitti to Lionel? There was less guilt in troubling Lionel, even if he was already coming apart at the seems.

Lionel has indeed seen Valrae. He’s seen her multiple times, spoken with her, solved a seemingly unsolvable mystery with her. The spirit has lingered a great many places since the woman’s death, and on occasion she’s gone wherever Lionel haunts. How much energy has Valrae expended for Lionel to see her? If he were to consciously realize the spending, he might feel differently about it. That precious spiritual energy, drained; they cannot let that happen. Or maybe his skull-shaped emerald, the first of the set, has taken the burden. Regardless, if Meri has seen Valrae before, she’ll probably see her again tonight, and as the stars begin to blanket the night sky, reflecting the barrier in greens and teals, the calmness continues. Until it breaks. Lionel’s face doesn’t harden at Meri’s admission. It’s still soft, melancholy yet infinitely approachable. It’s the face he’s carried since the war started just a few stray kilometers through the city they stand beside, where a ship sank and all Lionel’s brightest dreams were torn asunder. Compassion: that’s Lionel now. And he has a wealth of compassion for anyone who feels as he once did -- that the world might be better off without them. But something in his azure eyes intensifies. “That’s systematically impossible,” he rebukes, his timbre gentle. “Good people enhance the lives they encircle. You’ve encircled lives and enhanced them. You’re a good person, however fraught things may sometimes seem. Kahran? Sure, I wish he got stuck over there. Jaize? Orra? Macon? Hell, you remember Renne? She’s working for the top bastard now; I guess we’ll call that a promotion. Or failing upwards; take your pick. But you, Meri? No. Lithrydel needs you.” It’s an echo of her words to him, perhaps, but he means it. “Maybe not to lead some hellbound band, I guess. But to make things better wherever you go. I’ve never seen evidence to the contrary from you, and if it feels differently right now, or if you’ve got a lot on your plate and not enough spoons to scoop it, and it seems like wherever you go the land’s gone darker, colder?” He sighs, shaking his head. “I don’t mean to presume. I know we’re different people, you and I. But if that’s a feeling you’ve been getting lately? Please, I’m -begging- you,” he’s suddenly intense, “take it from me: this too shall pass. You are wanted. You are needed. The Shadow Plane ain’t your home. This is.”

Meri :: The words were that echo to Meri that Lionel had suspected they might be. She hears them loud in clear but the actual meaning behind the words are washed away by the very resounding doubt that Meri could not shake. This is where the conversation starts to fall flat, and not through any fault of Lionel. It's all Meri. The blonde takes in a deep breath and releases it slowly. "Yeah," is what she says as she breaths out this sigh, and that's it. Testimony that not much of what Lionel was staying was actually sticking. This situation what beginning to get to be too much for her tonight, between the conversation and the company that lingers, that they both seem to be pretending is not present. 'Yeah' meant that the window to keep talking about her time in that horrid place was still open and Meri was quite intent on shutting it. She as not subtle about it either. "Yeah, I remember that Renee chick...Ruthless. Not surprised." Avoidance. Typical. "It's getting late. Which probably means that we should both be on our way. You know what they say, nothing good ever happens after midnight. We should both ideally be indoors before then." This is not a statement Meri truly believes, she's caused plenty of trouble after midnight.

Lionel witnesses Meri’s deflection, quietly contemplates it, and decides it would not be wise to press his luck with her in just one encounter. He purses his lips but his softness remains. “Will you do me one favor? I’m sorry for asking but it’s very important to me. And you’re the only one who can do it.” He tilts his head quizzically, smiling. “Will you come see me soon? I’m going on a dangerous mission in just a few evenings. I don’t know if I’ll make it back. We never do, do we? But I sure as heck hope so. And if I do, find me by the Tranquility. Come see me. I want that. I’ll have a job for you then, Meri. I’m not sure how well it will pay, but I hope you’ll recognize its importance. You don’t have to say yes, of course. But come see me. Hear me out. If nothing else, it will be good to share a few more words with you.” The solemnity in Lionel’s voice cannot be understated.

Meri keeps her response short, simple and too the point. It is spoken as she turns to depart the bridge, her route will take her away from Cenril. Back to whatever home she and Callum saw fit to occupy. Larket? Kelay? "You'll make it back. Because you have to. Because you have a war to finish..." Meri has to catch herself, to stop her from finishing that line of thought. He does not get the luxury of death because he has a war to finish. "So I will come to see you when you make it back, because you will." Meri has never been great at this hugging thing. She's with a few people, Callum obviously. Khitti. Alvina. And you know what? Lionel is not going to get one tonight, hugs feel like goodbye and she is not saying those words. Lionel will get a quick salute before the two part and venture off on their own paths into the night.