RP:New Beginnings (Sort Of)
Summary: Brand's female self chooses the name Annette to allow for more separation between the two of them. After informing Khitt, the two gather foodstuff at the marketplace before heading to the Tranquility to eat and visit Lennier finally to see if their fertility ritual worked. There, Khitt offers up a ring to Annette, asking her if she'd like to have their own actual wedding (besides the one from the memories that Viera had given them), and she accepts!
The Apartment Above The Bakery, Cenril
Brand || It had been an uneventful month since the springtime ball, and things really hadn’t been that different from how they normally were. The main change was that Brand found herself obsessively noting every possible sign of pregnancy, getting her hopes up and up and up and up with each little thing. Bloating? Check. Tenderness? Check. No monthly cycle? Check. Nausea? Not much, but enough that she counted it anyway. Strange food cravings? YES.
Brand || But more than anything, it was that she could tell her masculine side was noticing the signs too, and getting more and more uncomfortable.
Brand || He didn’t say anything about it. He didn’t once complain. He knew how badly she wanted this, and he wouldn’t have given her his blessing to go ahead with it if he hadn’t meant it. Still… she could feel it. The discomfort. The… mild horror, even.
Brand || But what were they supposed to do about it? They couldn’t separate themselves for long -- she’d learned her limits weeks ago with the split between Khitti and Khitt. No, for better or worse, they were stuck together.
Brand || There was -one- thing she could do, however. One thing that might help. She’d been mulling over the thought for quite a while now -- pretty much ever since Viera’s spell had ended, actually -- and finally felt certain enough to act on it.
Brand || “I want you to call me Annette,” she told Khitt one evening, in a moment that must have seemed completely out of the blue. In truth, she’d been sitting in silent panic for the past hour at the least, trying to work up the nerve to say what needed to be said. Now that she had, it all came out in a rush. “Let Brand keep his name. I don’t mind. And I think it’ll make him feel better.” She placed a hand across her stomach, a habit she’d been picking up more and more in recent days. She was trying to feel for the tiny life within, even though she knew it was too early for that. She felt no such thing. But somewhere in her mind’s eye, Brand placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. The feeling was warm and pleasant, rather than the ghostlike chill she might have expected. It was as if he was trying to reassure her, in his own way. She could almost hear him, even, in a way that was more texture and color than actual language. ~No need to panic. You’re safe here.~
Brand || Despite feeling a little silly about it, she raised her other hand to meet the sensation of Brand’s. ~I know. But I will always appreciate the reminder.~
Khitti || Khitt had been reading the paper throughout the entire time that his dear partner had been working up the courage to speak. More specifically, he’d been looking over the huge sports section. Even more specifically, he was searching for a very particular article in it: the one about his most recent win in Craughmoyle. He found it, eventually, and ripped it out of the paper ever so carefully for his collection, giving the bit of paper a smug, satisfied look that could rival Brand’s own.
Khitti || His smugness didn’t last long though, as his thoughts were deterred by Annette. “Okay,” he said. It seemed like that’s all he was going to say, taking the time to study her for a moment. “What took you so long?” He had wondered if she was going to keep that name forever, though he hadn’t said anything about it. ‘Brand’ worked much better as a feminine name than Khitti did as a masculine one, after all. He moved to sit near her, leaving his paper behind, and took up her hand, kissing the top of it. “It’s a good name. I suppose I could have one too that’s more my own… but I’m too damn lazy, to be honest. It -is- confusing as hell for some people though, but I find it amusing.”
Brand || Annette blushed and looked off to one side. This was pretty much her default reaction to… well, everything, but she wasn’t usually so aware of it as she was right now. “I don’t know. I wanted to be sure, I guess.” She’d be anxiously tugging at her braid right now if it wasn’t still up in its bun. “You’re sure you like it? I can pick a different name if you want…” She didn’t know why she said these things. She knew she wanted to keep the name, or she’d never have brought it up in the first place. But she couldn’t help herself. Khitt had to be alright with it, or she’d never feel entirely alright with it, herself.
Khitti || Khitt squeezed Annette’s hand again, using his free one to get her to look at him. “You know that’s not up to me. I -do- like it, but you need to like it too. I imagine you do, or else you wouldn’t be so anxious about it, but… You know what I mean. My input shouldn’t affect whether or not you choose Annette as your name. And if you decide you suddenly don’t like it, then find something else. Just think of it as trying on all those dresses you buy,” he said, smirking somewhat. “If you need to, try on as many as you want until you find something you like.”
Brand || “I… Okay.” She was looking into Khitt’s eyes, but it took conscious effort just to keep them there. They kept sliding off to the side, and then she’d drag them back again, only for them to slide away once more. “I want to keep it... I think.” There was a long pause, in which her eyes slid once again to the side and stayed there. “Yeah. I want to keep it.” Another long pause. She buried her face in Khitt’s shoulder, inhaling his essence. Like cinnamon spice and bonfire. It was distinct from Khitti’s, and she wasn’t sure whether it was a perfume he used or if there was just -something- about him that made him smell that way to her. Whatever it was, it reminded her of being bundled in blankets by a cozy winter fireplace. Safe. Secure. She could breathe him in forever… or at least until her stomach growled and interrupted the moment.
Brand || “Um… Can we go somewhere? … For food?” She’d started out muffled, face still buried in his side, but she forced herself up so she could speak. She wanted to look at him, actually -look- at him, but her gaze danced from one spot to another and never quite landed on his eyes. She got close, though. Close enough. Closer than she ever got with anyone else. “I don’t know what I’m craving. A little bit of everything, perhaps.”
Khitti || Khitt tried to mask his smirk a little. It wasn’t his fault that Annette was so adorable when she was being shy. Which meant, of course, that she was being shy nearly all the time. He smooched her forehead, then nodded. “We can. But. Only if you can answer a question.” He squinted at Annette, eyeing her, looking incredibly suspicious of her. It was an act purely for dramatic effect. “Have you gone to see Lennier yet about…” His eyes roamed down towards her stomach. He didn’t want to outright say it, but he knew she’d know what he was talking about. “You don’t -have- to see him if you’re not comfortable--we can definitely find someone else--but it’s probably time to stop putting it off.” There -was- a chance that it was just a phantom pregnancy (Khitt might’ve read through some of Khitti’s books from before she had Dominic), considering how badly Annette wanted it, so it was better to check now before things got too far along.
Khitti || He lightly stroked the top of her head, trying to do his best to be comforting. Somehow, he was better at it than Khitti was, which was surprising. Despite his aloofness and anger issues, he hadn’t had to grow up as quickly as Khitti had. He hadn’t been forced to harden his heart to all the deaths that happened in Dhavislaav. At least, not to the same extent. “It doesn’t have to happen today either, if you haven’t. But, I will go with you if you want me to.”
Brand || Annette’s gaze followed Khitt’s, and she realized she still had a hand resting there. It had never left. This was probably only going to happen more as her pregnancy progressed. “I… I haven’t yet, no. I’ve been a little afraid to, in case it’s…” She didn’t need to finish the sentence. The flash of pain in her eyes would say it all. “We can, though. Maybe after dinner, if Lennier is still awake?” She rose from the bed and started hurriedly getting ready to leave. It wouldn’t take much this time, thankfully. Her hair and makeup were already done, and just needed a little freshening up. Her dress, well… she liked the style, but for going out she’d prefer a different color. Something a bit more… bold. With a flick of her wrist, it changed from hues of red to darker greens and turquoise. Now she just needed shoes. Shoes? Shoes. Crap. She had far too many pairs to pick from. After some thought, she grabbed a pair of summery leather sandals that had just a hint of heel. Hopefully it wouldn’t rain while they were out, or she’d be regretting this choice.
Khitti || Khitt just blinked as Annette left in a whirlwind of anxiety and hunger. He tried to suppress a frown, but couldn’t quite do it. As she hurried about, he got himself together as well and waited by the door until she was ready. Then he stepped in front of the door when she approached and put his hands on her shoulders, not letting her leave yet. “Listen. If somehow you’re not pregnant yet, then we will just keep trying, okay?” He didn’t want to invalidate her feelings at all. She had a right to worry and be sad if she wanted to, if the spells and the praying hadn’t worked in their favor. He would probably be a little disheartened too, honestly.
Khitti || “We’re different enough from Khitti and Brand that it’s entirely likely you might not get pregnant as quickly as Khitti did. -But.- That was probably also because of that dirtbag Facilier anyway. Okay?” Even Brand had been surprised at how quickly it had happened. “We will keep trying and praying and doing rituals for as long as we need to. Besides--” Khitt motioned in the direction of the potted plant on the windowsill that they’d gotten from the Spring ball. “--the seed is starting to sprout.” He sighed a little. “But, we won’t know until we go see Lennier.” He pressed a kiss to her lips, then released her shoulders, one of his hands taking up the nearest of her own as he led her out of the apartment and towards the restaurant on the north side of the city.
Brand || Annette said nothing; she only nodded. But the concerned look on her face did brighten into a faint smile as she looked at the sprouting plant. More than anything, that gave her a good feeling. Reassuring, was maybe the word.
Brand || She seemed happy enough as they walked, though she said little. It wasn’t until they were nearing the cliffside restaurant and she realized where they were headed that she stopped suddenly short, staring with wide eyes toward the rooftop in the distance. “Um. Can we go somewhere else, maybe? I just… last time…” It had been sort of her and sort of Brand, so the memory didn’t quite feel like it had happened to -her- exactly, but she could still recall the feeling of horror as everyone around her was drained of energy and she was left alone. It felt a little too soon to revisit that place, and life felt a little too similar to the circumstances that had brought them there before.
Khitti || Khitt had mostly forgotten about that part of that awful day, but mainly because he too had passed the hell out just like everyone else in the restaurant. “Oh! Oh. Right. Yeah.” He took a second to think things over, then nodded. “I know what we’ll do.” He picked her up and shadowstepped their way to the marketplace near the beach to save on time--his possibly pregnant woman was hungry after all. He did -not- want her nearing hangry levels.
The Marketplace
Khitti || When they got there, he grabbed a basket from a stall near the entrance of the area and paid for it, then eyed Annette. “Okay. Pick whatever you want and we’ll get it. Even if it’s something for later too.” Gotta keep one step ahead of those cravings, you know. “Doesn’t matter what it is or how weird the craving is--just go for it.” He gestured towards all the plethora of food stalls, some of which had fresh ingredients that still needed to be cooked, while others had things already prepared. Essentially, she was being let loose on these poor market workers like a kid in a candy store.
Brand || It was evening, and the markets were crowded. Some of the stalls had closed up before the dinner rush, but there were plenty more still open, and plenty of people to surround them. Annette made her way through as best she could, but there were some stalls she just wouldn’t be able to get near.
Brand || It was enough to pick out pretty much everything she could imagine wanting, though. Smoked meats. Roasted veggies on a stick. Some strange pastry the shop owner called an “elephant ear.” Salted crackers, for when the nausea hit. A huge container of fresh strawberries, and cake to go with it.
Brand || When she was satisfied, she found a bench away from the bulk of the crowd and started in on the vegetables. She couldn’t quite figure out how she was supposed to eat it off the stick, though. Pieces would occasionally fall to her lap, and she’d hurriedly snatch those up and pop them into her mouth as if nothing had happened. If there were stains, she’d just illusion them away.
Brand || “You should try this,” she said finally, three or four sticks in. “I didn’t catch the name of it, but it’s really good. They seasoned it well.”
Khitti || While Annette was dealing with the less crowded stalls, Khitt was busy strongarming his way through the crowd to get other things for the rest of the week. Thankfully for everyone else, some of the people in the market area recognized him either from his sketch in the paper or from actually seeing him in one of his fights, because they parted the way to the stalls like he was some sort of demigod (he’d gladly accept this title if someone gave it to him, unlike Khitti and her dislike for those sorts of things). Fresh veggies and fruits and meats and various other odds and ends were gathered up, Khitti helping him pick things out along the way, giving him different ideas for things he could attempt to cook. Cooking was easy, anyway. It’s the baking that gave him an aneurysm. He’d let Khitti deal with all that nonsense (little did he know that Khitti was going to force him into learning at some point).
Khitti || He finally joined up with Annette and her food hoard, smirking at her as he sat down beside her and took up one of the veggie-stabbing sticks. He nommed on one carefully, then another, clearly agreeing with her on the quality of the food. “Mmm, definitely good,” Khitt said, being nice and handing over what was left of the veggies. He was vaguely distracted, squinting at nothing in particular as he and Khitti tried to pick out the different spices used on the vegetables so they could recreate them for Annette and Brand.
Brand || “I might have to get more before we leave,” Annette said during a break between bites. “It has occurred to me that I didn’t get any meats. Don’t want to be hungry again in another hour.” And she would, too. It wasn’t just the cravings that had picked up the pace, but the ferocity and frequency of her hunger, as well. “Do we want to bring some ‘phoenix’ home for Dominic? I think I’m craving red meat, myself.” There was a joke in here, somewhere, about vampires and the fact that Khitti used to be one, but she couldn’t quite find it. Instead, she ended up on a much more serious line of thought. “Were you ever a vampire, Khitt? In your… ‘timeline’ or whatever you’d call it? You’d think I’d remember, but a lot of the details have faded and only come back at the oddest times.”
Khitti || Khitt offered up the basket for her to look through, to see if there was anything she wanted that he hadn’t already gotten. “Khitti was giving me ideas, while you were getting stuff to snack on,” he said, motioning to the variety of stuff inside. “There’s both red meat and, uh… “phoenix” in there, and I can always get more if you want it. It’s not like the marketplace is much of a walk from the apartment or the ship.” He frowned a little at her question and shook his head. “No. I wasn’t. Like I told Khitti that day in the forest, I was born with this magic. There was no Amarrah--or anyone like her--so there was no need to turn me into a vampire.” Khitt sighed. “I can tell she misses it, though she’d never bring it up to anyone that knows about all of that. The speed and power she had… There’s so many times that it would’ve helped since she was reborn, and despite everything, she sometimes wonders if it was the wrong choice to go through all that effort. If it ever came down to it, she already knows who she’d ask to turn her again, but there’s so much unknown on both sides that she’s not sure if that’s a path she’d take again. Working with undead of all sorts doesn’t help things though. She’d wanted to help in political matters in Vailkrin--mainly to keep the Houses from massacring each other--but with her being human, none of them ever seemed to take her seriously. It doesn’t matter that she was a leader of the Necromancer’s Guild, and even now still a higher up, or even a part of House Dragana off and on. They don’t care because she’s not one of them. Which is oddly enough the same problem she had when she -was- a vampire, heh.”
Brand || Annette finished rummaging through the basket and closed it up again. “Yeah, I think that’ll do for a few days at least.” She listened to Khitt’s story with silence and a slight frown. “Hopefully it never comes to that,” she sighed when Khitt was done. “Not least of all because it probably means we’re gone, in one way or another. I know vampirism has its advantages, but after all the effort we went through to cure her of it --” she stopped mid-thought and gave Khitt a strange look. “Hmm. Odd. I can remember -that- vividly enough, although I know it didn’t actually happen to -us-. Maybe -too- vivid, in fact. I hope Brand doesn’t dwell on it too much. It all worked out fine, in the end.”
Khitti || Khitt side-eyed the ground as Annette mused over the vividness of that memory. “Considering how alike the four of us are, he probably dwells on it as much as Khitti does over the times both Brand and Dominic were kidnapped. And… how much I dwell on that night on the beach with you and Viera, and when Viera took you back to the archipelago.” Yes, Khitt was actually opening up a little. It felt weird, but with the fact that Annette might actually be pregnant, the stress of it all was only going to get worse if he didn’t start saying anything now. He sighed, picked up the basket with one hand, then reached for her hand with the other, with the intent of leading her towards the ship once she’d finished getting anything else, like those veggies.
The Tranquility, Cenril Wharf
Khitti || When they finally got back, he started on dinner, cutting up potatoes and coating them with spices and oil before shoving them into the oven, as he let a skillet heat up to sear the outside of the steaks he’d bought.
Brand || “I know you’re going to tell me that wasn’t really my fault,” said Annette, watching the ground as they made their way back towards the ship. “But I’m sorry, anyway.” She tried not to think about it, but it came up in her thoughts every once in a while. Especially now that she might be expecting in a… well, relatively normal kind of way.
Brand || They made it to the ship, and as Khitt cooked, Annette settled in with Dominic at the table. She was feeding him ‘phoenix’ nuggets while they waited on the real food -- Dominic probably wouldn’t appreciate steak, anyway. He was definitely iffy on some of the vegetables. The chickens crowded around his chair, waiting for crumbs to fall and eagerly pouncing on them when they did. Little did they know that they were eating their own kind. But then again, they probably wouldn’t care. Cannibalistic chickens would be one of the -least- surprising things on the ship.
Khitti || The steaks were put in the skillet, the hissing, sizzling sound of it searing filling the room. When it was ready to be flipped, Khitt lifted the pan up off the stove and turned towards Dominic. “Psst, hey, kid,” he said, all secretive-like. When Dominic was paying attention, Khitt flipped the steaks up into the air, the two coming back down into the pan on the side they needed to be on. Dominic gasped, then let out a “Whoaaaa!”. Sure, he’d seen his parents flip pancakes like that before, but steak? And two of them? This was unheard of! Khitt took a bow, then slid the pan into the oven to finish cooking, and took a seat next to Annette, batting his eyes at her in a very Khitti-like manner.
Brand || Annette smirked, much like Brand might have in her place. “You should pick up a job at one of those fancy steakhouse restaurants where they cook your food in front of you. You’d fit right in there.” She gave Khitt a smooch on the cheek before settling back into her chair and turning back to Dominic. “So what have you been up to so far today, little sprout? Anything fun or interesting?” An entire ‘phoenix’ nugget, the very last one of the bunch, had made its way onto the floor. The chickens were fighting over it. So far, Kevin was winning.
Khitti || Khitt smirked back at Annette, “Maybe. Or maybe I should open one myself. Or maybe a bar or something.” Dominic sighed heavily, like an adult who’s spent far too long working in retail and had their soul crushed years ago. Except, because it’s Dominic, it just sounded really dramatic and kind of adorable. “Etta laid an egg on my bed again. And Cutie--” He meant Locutus, of course. “--ate a seagull. And when I woke up from my nap, Kevin was on my head again. He was just… staring at me.” Clearly, it had been a long day for the kid, and he sighed again, watching as Kevin destroyed the nugget. Khitt just blinked a few times, then looked to Annette, then at Dominic, and finally to Annette again. “Well--” He didn’t know where he was going with that ‘well’, so he just resumed silence and a bit more blinking.
Brand || “Locutus ate a seagull?” Annette turned her genuine surprise into an exaggerated look of shock. With Dominic, she tended to play everything a bit larger than life. “But seagulls are almost as big as he is!” She eyed Locutus warily, as if wondering what he might decide to feast on next. “Sounds like you’ve all had a busy day.” With that, she turned back to Khitt. “You could always build something around Ginger Snapped. I’ve seen stranger combinations than steakhouse and bakery.” Plus, it would give Khitt and Khitti more reason to try to get along. But that was the quiet, ulterior motive.
Khitti || “I would, but Khitti just had to go and make that garden next door,” Khitt said, somewhat jokingly. She had done that well before he “existed”, so there wasn’t anything to be done about it. "Could use the basement below the bakery and magic it up like those witches did for the spring ball." He finally went and grabbed their food from the oven, plated it up ever so nicely, and served them to himself and Annette. The potatoes were perfectly crisp on the outside with a coating of oil, garlic, and rosemary, while the steaks were perfectly pink on the inside.
Khitti || You'd think Khitt was a lycan with the way he wolfed down his dinner. Well, most of it. Halfway through, he realized he was eating way too fast and knocked it down a few notches. All the while, Khitt was thinking things. He did his best to hide that look of his that screamed 'I'm plotting something', but it didn't quite work out as he occasionally studied Annette with that same stare. Hmm.
Khitti || "Let's stop by the library for a moment before we head to Lennier's office," Khitt said eventually. "I think I'll grab a few of Khitti's cookbooks to look over for recipe ideas for this maybe-restaurant."
Brand || Perhaps thankfully for Khitt, Annette didn’t catch on to that stare. She was too busy with her food, and with occasionally feeding Dominic small bites of steak. None of these bits found their way to the chickens, thankfully. They didn’t need to be eating something that came from an animal twenty times larger than them.
Brand || “Okay,” Annette sighed when she was finished. She’d eaten too much, perhaps. Or maybe she was just bloated because that’s how she’d been feeling in general lately. “The library, Lennier, and then maybe a food coma afterward.” She let Dominic out of his high chair and carried him with the bulk of his weight pinned against the side of her waist. “And maybe you’ll take a nap too, yeah? Your day sounds like it has been -exhausting-.” She smirked and booped him on the nose, which got her an adorable nose-wrinkle in response.
Khitti || Khitt frowned at Annette’s sigh. “Hey…” He stood up and grabbed her arm lightly before she could get too far away, the hand soon leaving her appendage and moving to her cheek. Khitt gave her a look, one complete with that same frown and paired with a furrowed brow that clearly said ‘I’m worried about you.’. He didn’t actually say it though, but Annette would certainly know what that look meant. When it seemed like she might be okay, Khitt led them on into the library first before heading to find Lennier.
Khitti || “Come help me look. You could help me build the menu,” he said, grabbing a book of the shelf in the culinary section. He pretended to look it over, then eventually peered over at Dominic. “Hey, sprout. I think you’ve got something in your pocket. You should let her see it.” He motioned at Annette with his head. Khitt had sneakily hidden a small ring box in Dominic’s pocket on the way to the library, taking advantage of Annette and Dominic’s exhaustion. And in the box? Annette would find a ring with a braided platinum band and a rose-shaped emerald that was flanked by two aquamarines.
Khitti || “It’s… an engagement, wedding, and mother’s ring all in one,” Khitt said, once she’d opened the box. “If you don’t like it… or you’d rather have separate ones, we can always get something different.” He scrunched up his nose a little, much in the same way Dominic had--for some reason, being open like this in front of the kid felt weird. “The aquamarine is Dominic’s birthstone. And when the second one comes along, one of them can get exchanged for the baby’s stone. And if there’s more after that… it can always be messed with to add more stones or we just get you a new one.” Why was this so difficult? He even started stuttering a little the longer he went on. “A-a-and I was thinking… we didn’t actually get a wedding. Not a real one, like Khitti and Brand did. I-it could just be us, at your grotto maybe? Or you could split yourself long enough to have Brand marry us? Or…” There’s another nose scrunch. “If you want to. I understand if you don’t, though.” He sighed, deciding it was probably time to shut up now.
Brand || Annette just barely restrained herself until after Khitt was done saying his piece, but as soon as he was finished, she threw herself around him in a hug. “You’re so thoughtful. Of -course- I’d love to have a wedding. Something small, even. I think having Brand do it is a good idea, assuming he’s up to it.” There was a beat of silence, then she smiled. “Pretty sure I just got a yes.” For Annette, there was no awkwardness about doing any of this in front of Dominic. In fact, she knelt down in front of the child and addressed him directly. “And do you want to be a part of it again? I know how much you liked riding in on Francis last time.”
Khitti || Thoughtful? What? No. Khitt would never. He tried to hide the redness that creeped up onto his face as Annette focused her attention on Dominic for the moment. Dominic, on the other hand, was definitely excited, to the point that he threw his hands up into the air and yelled, “Yeah!” Then he thought about it for a moment. “Can Etta, Kevin, and Cutie come too? And Francis?” He worked his adorable kid magic on Annette, giving her big puppy eyes and an innocent smile. Whatever would happen at the wedding would likely not be quite so innocent with those chickens around, but for now Dominic was completely void of all mischief-making.
Khitti || Khitt eyed Dominic, then Annette, then just shrugged. “Up to you,” he said to her. When she was done answering their kid, Khitt offered up the ring to her to do with it as she wished, whether it was deciding to wear it or tuck it away somewhere until the wedding. “Better for you to take care of it than me. It’s a wonder I haven’t dropped it into the Shadow Plane when I’m shadow-stepping around, heh.”
Brand || "I don't see why not," said Annette, giving Dominic a fond little boop on the nose. "A wedding is about celebrating family... making a new family or making an old one formally recognized. And the chickens are part of the family, aren't they?" She stood back up and, in the same motion, slipped the ring onto her finger. "No better way to lose it than to keep it loose in a pocket or something," she said to Khitt, smiling faintly. "Might as well start wearing it now."
Khitti || Khitt just smirked at the two, as Dominic fistpumped the air with both hands. “YES!” He ran off to his room to find the trio of small feathery raptors and tell them the news, his mood renewed and his utter exhaustion from earlier gone. Once Annette’s attention was back on Khitt, he started blushing again as she put on the ring, though not quite as badly as before. “Alright. Come on, you,” he said. He handed her the couple of books he’d picked out to go through, then promptly picked her up in his arms and headed off towards the door. “We need to go talk to Lennier before we both die of anticipation.” He -might- want this kid as badly as she did, but he would never tell. Unless she asked, anyway.