RP:Monsters Within

Summary: Khitti and Dominic discuss the aftereffects of Negotiation, Frostmaw Style, their dark companions, and their struggles with their pasts.

Higher Among the Mountains

Khitti had tried to stay with the rest of the camp, but as usual, the crowd became too overwhelming for her. Thankfully, there was a decent-sized ledge just down below that that she took her own shelter on. The cold didn't affect her and so she brought nothing more with her than her bow and quiver. The vampiress sat at the edge, hands planted on the ground on either side of her, and pale legs hanging over the side as she peered over into the trees below. Dark green eyes seemed to be focused on one spot, but doesn't really seem to see anything at all as she sits there in thought, lithe fingers tapping the frosted ground idly in frustration.

Dominic was walking, and it didn’t matter where; he just needed to move. Eyes encircled by shadows stared down the path ahead, face contorted by some gloomy thought and further enshrouded by a hood, hands shoved in pockets as per his usual. He wasn’t entirely unprepared for the weather, but the jacket he wore was still lighter than it likely should have been. He’d already been walking for an hour at least when the sight of Khitti disrupted his intended trajectory, and after a moment’s hesitation he veered her way, slowing to a halt several paces behind her, hanging back with an uncertain demeanor. He could have said any of so many different things, but they all collided together and jumbled in his head and all that came out was a flat, “Hey.”

Khitti caught his scent before he even said a thing, her own sleepless line of sight snapping in Dominic's direction. There's an almost...predatory gaze for a few moments as her brain digests the greeting from the human, her own flat 'Hello' uttered in return. The dark ranger seemed on edge, like an addict without her fix. Her tongue runs along her top row of teeth, making that sharp 'thk' sound that typically comes with the action, a slight twitch of her right eye accompanying it before her dark gaze finally shifts away. Why did she have these friends that had the potential for being so...delicious? Why did she attract these humans? Don't they know? Don't they realize? She could drink them dry any time she deemed it necessary. Or would she? The poor vampiress fought internally with her morals, her pale features contorting to confusion and then back to irritation soon after.

If there was one thing Dominic excelled at, it was misinterpreting the people around him -- generally in order to jump to the conclusion that he’d wronged them, somehow, and now must atone. Today was little different. With no way to read her thoughts, and his own thoughts so fixated on self-flagellation, he’d taken her actions as agitation towards him rather than accounting for any of the other possibilities. He bit at his lip and seemed to consider taking another step forward, but his leading foot only lifted and then returned to its same spot. Out with it, already. “Khitti, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lost you. At the… whatever that was. O-or I should have sought you out sooner, but I couldn’t --” He interrupted himself with a frustrated exhale, nostrils flaring. “I understand if you’re mad. I can leave you alone if it’s a bad time.”

Khitti's face shifts to confusion again as Dominic's apology reaches her ears. Wait...what? He was...sorry? "Vhat?", she voices her thoughts aloud, a shake of her red-haired head given. "Vhat are you even talking about? I can't..." Gods, it was so loud. The ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum of his heartbeat was like deafening drums that wouldn't cease unless -she- did something about it. She even goes so far as to put her hands up to her ears, "It's so damned loud...I can't hear you." A deep, ravenous growl issues forth from within her throat as green optics shift back towards him, her upper lip curled slightly in a snarl. "Make it stop." Despite the growl, her words were almost pleading, a glimmer of fear in those dark eyes of hers.

Dense as he was, Dominic was starting to pick up on something being odd. “Hey. Are you... are you all right?” He closed the gap between them, crouching down to her level. The proximity probably only made things worse, but he didn’t know that. And maybe he should have been afraid of the snarls or her general unhinged state, but… she was a friend, and so if the cues were something he should be interpreting as danger, he was missing the signals entirely. One eyebrow raised in concern, and one hand reached for her shoulder.

Khitti 's eyes only grew wider as he got closer. The scene played out like slow motion in her brain, his hand edging closer. The melody of his blood coursing through his veins taunted her as it sang to her like a chorus of angels; she could almost even taste it on her tongue. She doesn't move, ignoring the instinct to flee from her dear friend and his touch, but still issues a warning, "Don't.", the word hissed out between fang and tooth. Her line of sight slowly shifts from his face, then to his neck. It called to her, sang so sweetly, begged to be drank from. Tilting her head to the left, her attention continues to drift, fixating on that wrist of his that hovered so close to her face. "It's so loud...so hard to focus. I need it, Dominic. I need more power...I need..." Her head tilts the other way, her eyes never straying from his wrist even if he were to move it.

Dominic retracted his hand, apparently finally picking up on what was going on. But he didn’t retreat from her fully -- he wouldn’t. He shuffled his legs out from under him and took a seat, the leg furthest from her bent in front of him. He wrapped his arms around it and looked at her sidelong. “Tell me how I can help. I’ve been trying to keep a blood vial on me when I’m able, just in case, but…” His gaze trailed behind him to his pack, then searched her face, trying to reach her with a light smile that couldn’t reach those shadow-wrapped eyes. He knew how he ought to finish that sentence, but only managed to clench his jaw instead. It didn't need to be said; she'd given him the distinct feeling a simple vial of blood wasn't what she was lacking.

Khitti's brows furrowed again in that look of perplexity. She tears her gaze away from him, peering down into the valley again, "It's not just zhe blood. Vell, it is...but..." She draws her own knees in close, wrapping her arms around them, as if she were protecting herself from -him- instead of the other way around. "Zhere vas a bard, after I lost you...", her words lingering somewhat before she continued. It was clear that she felt opposite of what he did. She lost him. No. She failed him. Deep in the recesses of her mind, she was grateful that he was alright. "His song...it empowered me so. It vas like I had zhe strength of zhe gods." Her line of sight finds him again as she tilts her head to the side, resting it on her knees, "I need zhat again. But, Daermon said zhe only vay is likely for me to begin feeding from mortals. I can't...but I may never be strong enough if I don't. I-I cannot even do vhat other necromancers do should I need to in a pinch. I'm just so useless." Tears begin to fill her eyes, her hands moving from around her legs and to her ears, trying to block out the sound, "You shouldn't be here. I know vhat I must do, but I vill not have it be you. Or Brand. Or Alex. Or anyone else here. Zhey'll cast me out. Zhey'll...zhey'll...zhink I'm a monster. More zhan zhey likely already do."

Dominic drummed his fingers absentmindedly where they clasped around his shin. His gaze never left her, and he didn’t interrupt, though his eyes did narrow slightly at the idea that -she’d- lost -him-. Preposterous. When she’d finished, he scooted a bit closer to her and gave her an awkward side-hug before releasing her again. “You -didn’t- lose me. It was... it was just too much for me. I couldn’t handle the noise, the amount of people, the--” He cut himself off, shaking his head grimly. “I-I wasn’t prepared. That’s not on you, it’s on me.” A sigh; a change of subject. “What do the other vampires do? The... ones that don’t want to hurt people. The good ones, like you.” Yes, despite her own feelings on the matter, he still counted her as a good person. “Surely there’s some kind of balance? You can’t change what you are, so if the extra strength will let you help more people than you’ll hurt by feeding…” Another shake of the head. “I don’t know. I’m the last person you should be going to for any kind of advice. But if it were me…” He shrugged and finally dropped his gaze from her, squinting down into that same valley she’d stared into. “If it were me, I think I’d do it. Find someone willing and then... use it to help as many people in as many ways as I could.” Emerald eyes returned to her, words firm and expression fierce. “And anyone who calls you a monster for that can deal with Brand; he’ll show them what a real monster looks like.”

Khitti 's body stiffened as she's brought into the hug, blinking a few times at the brief embrace. She listens to him and his words of assurance, his excuses, and the change of subject to her own unfortunate plight. After everything's been said, he manages to pry even the faintest of smiles from her at the mention of Brand, a small shake of her head given, "Brand is no monster." She pauses, staring at the ground now as the smile fades and her signature frown takes hold, "It's not so easy just to ask zhat of people, Dominic. I don't know how Daermon manages to find zhese people zhat are villing victims, I guess you could call zhem. Zhat charm of his, I suppose. But, I'm not like zhat. I can't. I can't ask someone to do zhat. Vhat if I screw it up? Vhat if zhey vere to die? I can't have anymore blood on my hands." Her dark line of sight darts about, as if she'd find the answers in the frozen grass and snow beneath them, "And on top of zhat?...Zhere is a transference of memories during feeding. Zheirs for mine. Daer said zhat mine von't be so prominent in zhe beginning, but vhat if he's vrong and it's different for me? I vouldn't vish zhese memories on even my enemies." Except for maybe Balgruuf now. He certainly did deserve everything that'd be coming to him.

Dominic wasn’t going to argue with her about Brand, not right now. Khitti’s insistence was met with one of those wry smiles, the kind that politely said ‘if you say so’ without affecting his opinion on the matter in the slightest. But to the rest of her words, he simply nodded. “It’s certainly a tough ask. But there must be some upside? Some reason for the -- the host to want to help. Something they gain…? Besides just wanting to help you because you’re... you.” Surely there was a better way he could have worded that, but he possessed none of Daermon’s alleged suaveness.

Khitti scoffed softly at his last statement. "-Because I'm me.- I'm not exactly zhe light in everyone's lives, Dominic. I'm quite sure you recall our first meeting and how long it takes for someone to actually get to know me. Granted, it's a little easier vhen I don't mention my abilities, my terrible childhood, and vhen I try my best to hide my crippling social anxiety." She inhales a needless breath, then expels it out sharply through her nose, narrowing her eyes at the thought. "Zhere's not much of an upside. It's a very personal, very intimate interaction. Yet another reason vhy I'm not comfortable vith it. Vhen I vas human, Daermon fed from me. He's more zhan just my sire. He's my beloved too. For now." She rolls her eyes at the thought; it was another story for another time. "And vhen I am in need of stronger blood, I feed from him as I did vhen I vas turned." The vampiress shakes her head, sighing heavily, hoping he can piece things together. She was clearly a very private person when it came to that sort of thing. "Sometimes I vonder if finding an unwilling person vould weigh less on my conscience."

Dominic shrugged again. “Those are things we have in common. Uh… more or less. Maybe I’m biased, but I don’t think they detract from you as a person.” He leaned his head on his knee, almost mirroring her earlier position. “Did you have a choice? When Daermon… turned you, I mean. The way you talk about him it almost sounds more like he…” Dominic struggled for a word that wasn’t essentially badmouthing her sire, her lover, and someone he’d never even met. “...Like he… charmed you into it, too?” Ah, that was probably no good, either. He grimaced and braced himself for the fallout.

Khitti 's frown twisted into a lopsided smirk at his comment about Daer. Had it been a month or two prior, she likely would've taken Dominic right then and there and made him her first victim. Thankfully for him, that times had come and gone. Her eyes had been opened to the way she almost hero-worshipped the elder vampire and now she kept their love at an arm's length, though she didn't want to sever the tie completely. "No. I vasn't charmed into it. Yes, in a vay, I did do it for him, but no, it vasn't like zhat." She lets out a sad chuckle, "I must paint him a pretty picture vhen I speak of him. You're not zhe first to zhink zhat vay." A shrug is given as she continues, "I vould have died, Dominic. I vould not be sitting here speaking to you if he did not turn me. Zhis zhing zhat Amarrah and I are, it is an abomination. A mortal and a creature from zhe Plane of Shadow should never become one. As I used more magic, once zhe spell that bound it vas broken away, it corrupted me. Ate away at my body. I mean, yeah, it started out nice vhen he fed from me. Ve vere together even zhen. Zhere's a psychic bond zhat occurs during zhe feeding and lasts for some time afterwards. It always vas zhere, like a drug, helping me to feel better. To not feel alone because even vhen ve vere apart, ve could still speak, if ve vere in range zhat is. But, in time, it became a necessary zhing to make me a vampire. It vas more zhan just talk and vonder."

Dominic traced idle circles into the ground as Khitti spoke. It was... a lot to take in. “So, it was death or vampirism. That’s... an awful choice to have to make.” The words were sympathetic, but his brows were furrowed as he stared into the earth at his side. The spiral he was drawing spun faster for several rounds, the scratching into the ground the only sound before he finally abandoned it and pulled his hand back up to his knee. “How does the memory exchange work? Do you see ... everything? From the other person’s entire life? Or just the biggest memories? Or everything up to a certain point?” Awfully inquisitive, for someone who certainly knew better than to volunteer himself. His… selves, as the case may be.

Khitti cast a side glance at his circles, watching as he made more, "Zhink of it like a vast ocean. Zhe ocean is all of you and zhe vampire's memories. You and them are just tiny beings in zhe sea. Depending on how vell zhe vampire is at sustaining zheir mental walls, zhe sea can either be calm and collected or tumultuous and angry like vhen zhere are storms. Zhere's a chance of falling into zhe darkness too and not coming out. You get so swept up in zhe rush zhat you don't even notice." She shakes her head, "Regardless of any of zhat, I vould never ask you anyway. Even if you vere villing, zhere are zhings zhat I'd rather you not see. 'Twas not a pleasant life I led."

“Look, you’re not the only one with a past that’s frakked to hell, all right?” It wasn’t particularly often that Dominic snapped like this... but she wasn’t the only one that had been on edge, either. Still, he paused to try to recover, to dissipate that heat that had bubbled up. He wrangled most of the rest of his words into a monotone cool. He wanted to drown himself in helping her, ignoring his own concerns. “You’re not asking, and I’m not offering. It’s a bad idea.” Not that he wasn’t full of bad ideas he was more than willing to carry out. “Even if your own memories weren’t a problem, if letting you feed from me shared mine -- Hell, I don’t even know all of what you’d see. I know I don’t know everything Brand has done, and I’m pretty sure it goes both ways. I don’t know if you’d share memories with just me, or just him, or both of us. And just the ones I know of are bad enough.” He sighed, his expression apologizing for the outburst. “It’s a bad idea,” he repeated, “And here I am still thinking about it anyway.” Like the hopeless idiot he was, perpetually tripping over himself to find some purpose. He didn’t add that part out loud, but the sentiment carried in that last sentence.

Khitti is obviously taken aback by his outburst and only grows more somber as she listens to him. With her legs still drawn up under her chin, she rests her head on her knees again, watching him quietly. "Part of me vould like you to too, Dominic. But, I don't know if zhat part is zhe primal hunter seeking out it's prey or if it's zhe one zhat vants to do zhis to someone I can trust." She sighs, eyeing the ground sadly, "I don't vant to hurt you zhough. I vant to protect you. Both of you." Even though Brand would likely never admit to needing protection, he -was- still mortal and despite their constant quarreling, she still resigned herself to remain vigilant in her want to help them both. "Vhatever I'd see, however, vhether zhey be mere glimpses or memories as a whole from either of you or both, I'd do my best to ignore it. I'd try to forget them because it's not my business to remember. But, regardless, I'm not asking you to do zhis for me. Put it out of your head." Her tone grew more stern, "I vill...find someone eventually."

Dominic didn’t have any argument left in him, for the moment. “You seemed so rattled when I got here. But if it’s not so dire…” Her points were acknowledged with a slow shake of his head; if he still disagreed with any, he was keeping quiet about it. And everything else, actually. The silence lingered, and his eyes fell into the distant valley again. He might pass out from exhaustion right here on this ledge if he didn’t stir himself. Arms stretched upwards and back until something popped in his joints, and finally his gaze drew back to her, expression a carefully constructed neutral. “...Are you glad that you still live? Despite everything?”

Khitti shifts her gaze to study Dominic for a moment. The need -was- dire. Had she been injured during that small battle, she'd be in the same predicament he found her in. She hadn't fed since before then, letting her magic and strength come back naturally instead of partaking in that glorious red-tinted feast that all vampires indulge themselves in to get back to some semblance of normalcy. Her gaze lingers on his face, then tilts towards his throat. With the distraction of conversation, his heartbeat wasn't as loud, but gods was it still there. Still taunting her, begging her to feed. To drink him dry. She swallowed the lump in her throat, her signature frown lining her lips as she finally tore her gaze away. "I'll be...fine." is whispered finally. Hopefully. His question is acknowledged, but she chooses to remain silent, avoiding that gaze of his that felt like it bore straight into her soul. Why did he have to say either of those things? The vampiress only hugged her legs tighter, reddish brows knitting together. As the silence lingered between the two, his heartbeat became more apparent, louder, more tempting. Did other vampires like her go through this too? Or was she just weak?

Dominic’s stare faltered as he realized she didn’t have an answer for him -- and certainly, not the kind of answer he’d almost dared to hope she’d have. But there were no answers anywhere; maybe Brand was right. He curled around himself again, peered somewhere past her, and talked a slow, meandering path toward the thoughts behind his question. “When I was in Catal... the people had so many customs around water, the ocean especially. We went to the sea to ask her for guidance, for courage, healing… death.” One hand twitched tighter around a calf. “For everything. So when I failed in that fight, after I -cowered-,” he spat that word, “because of everything and every thought thundering around me… I went back to Cenril. I thought... maybe this is wrong; maybe I shouldn’t be here trying to fight; maybe I should be doing something else. And there was one -- one ritual, offering oneself to the sea in exchange for clarity of cause. A... last resort for most, I guess, given that she might decide your cause is to be a sacrifice on behalf of your friends.” Dominic smiled acerbically as his eyes fell even further away from hers. His mind revisited those moments beyond the shore, turning and twisting them again and again. “And I saw nothing. There was -nothing-!” He shouted it into the ether and drew further into himself, trembling. Falling apart so thoroughly had been unintentional and unwanted, but any stoicism seemed infinitely harder to fake around Khitti.

Khitti 's brows knitted together as she listened to him, to all of what he had to say. Oh, she knew that feeling all too well. The lack of answers to her questions. The frustration. The hopelessness. Hell, she was feeling it right now. Once he'd finished speaking and she let it sink in for a brief moment, she reaches for him but then thinks better of it. She lets her hand linger in the air, but then instead of attempting to pull him close, she goes to him. Her actions are slow, sluggish, not at all what they should be. Regardless, she crawls towards him, closing that short gap between them. The lithe female moves to sit behind him, slipping both arms beneath his and around his middle. If he fought her, to get her to stop, she'd do it, but wouldn't stop otherwise. She'd hug him as tightly as she could, try to comfort him as much as she could. The embrace would surely be awkward for a time until she just gave in to it and rested her head against his back. "I swear you're zhe only person zhat understands me sometimes." is all that's said, her own words causing her to hug him just a bit tighter.

Dominic didn’t quite know how to react, and it was evident in the way his muscles tensed initially. But... he trusted her, could trust a gentle touch like this. Probably. He ended up slowly sinking back into her, melting into her form, though he still shook. Eventually he even peered back over his shoulder to try and meet her gaze -- awkward angle though it was. “I don’t know. I guess.” He wasn’t really disagreeing, he just … didn’t feel like he understood -anything-. “Brand said --” Brand said a lot of things. “-- he said that... I had to make my own purpose. And ‘embrace what I was’. And so -- and so I’m back here. But I don’t know what I’m doing, or if I should even be here. And…” he didn’t know how to voice the rest of his thoughts, so he just trailed off with another shudder.

Khitti lifted her head from his back, setting her chin on his shoulder then to meet his gaze. It lingers for a short time, studying him, listening again to his plight. That seemed to be about the only thing she could do right nowadays. "Daermon keeps telling me zhe same zhing. Zhat I should embrace being a vampire. Zhat I should embrace zhis magic zhat vas forced upon me. I don't know if I can, Dominic." She was so close now to his neck, to that major artery that pumped the much needed sanguine life force through his body. "It's so hard to figure out vhat to do. Should I...just let go of being human? Even now, your blood taunts me. It calls to me...but I just...can't do it." Her line of sight shifts away from him finally, "I feel like a failure. I can't do anything right. I've no power. My magic isn't vhat is should be. I'm not even a proper vampire..."

Dominic reached for one of her hands while pulling away from the hug somewhat and twisting so he could get a better look at her. “What does any of that even mean, though? I mean... there are the vampires from the stories, the ones that don’t care who they hurt or who they kill, the ones who do it for the power and love it, who’ll attack people in the streets to get what they want. And then there are… several of the ones I’ve met here, who don’t do any of that. And... I mean, I haven’t been here long, but I haven’t heard any of them called ‘not a proper vampire’ for doing things less violently. Who’s to say that you’re any less of anything for doing things a different way?” The words poured out of him easily enough, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was just rambling uselessly. “Maybe just… to hell with what other people expect you to be.” He snorted out a dry laugh. “Though I guess that puts you in my boat, then. Trying to figure it all out by yourself.”

Khitti shakes her head, frowning as she stared at the ground, letting him hold her hand. "No, I -have- to. I'm going to end up being a fledgling forever if I don't. I'll never get stronger. Never. I'll be like a child amongst zhe rest of zhem. A lot of zhe ones in Vailkrin...zhey already know zhat I von't drink from zhe living. I can feel zheir gaze...zheir judgement." Tears begin to well up in her eyes as she looks to Dominic again, "I have to do it, but I just..." She sighed, "I don't know. Zhat's just one of zhe many reasons vhy Daermon and I fight all zhe time. I'm stressed and frustrated and vant to be stronger, he tells me how to do it, I don't vant to do it. It's an endless cycle of nonsense. I don't even know vhy I stay vith him anymore. He's just so...so..." Sadly, she didn't know the word she was looking for.

Dominic didn’t know what word she was looking for either, unfortunately. “So you don’t really have a choice except for the ‘when’, then. And ... the ‘who’, I guess.” He spoke in a somber tone, and slowly, as if he was chewing on a thought he wasn’t sure he should give voice to. “Does... does having a third person around help, at all? If you were going to feed from someone, I mean. Earlier, you were talking about the risk of getting carried away by it. What happens if there’s someone else there to keep watch? And is there any way they could… help with the memory thing? A mage, or something?”

Khitti shrugged a bit, staring down at his hand absently. The conversation had helped to block out that lovely sound of his ever-beating heart, but as she though on it, dwelled on it, it came back to her. It drew her in, her hand moving carefully from his and sliding up to his wrist. Badum. Badum. Badum. It was swaying her again, silently telling her in it's own way that it was alright, that she could give in. "Daermon said he could do it, but, he has responsibilities in House Dragana and I am here. I don't expect I'll be going back zhere for some time now. Zhings are progressing very fast here." Her words were half-hearted in her distraction, her blood red locks shifting to the side as she tilted her head. "But yes...zhat had always be zhe plan...and zhen I became a disappointment...and he quit trying to get me to feed." Her words weren't exactly Daermon's. He was never that harsh to her unless she was to herself first. But, sadly, Dominic wouldn't ever know that.

“A disappointment?” Dominic echoed, his expression a mix of shock and anger on her behalf. “Khitti... you’re…” Words failed him again. Or maybe he was the one that failed the words; he had them, he just wasn’t sure they were the right ones to say. He wanted to tell her how much she’d come to mean to him in such a short time, that she was one of only maybe two people he’d really call a friend, that he could actually share things with. She could have told him she’d hung the stars in the sky and maybe he’d even believe her. An idealistic view of her, perhaps, to focus so hard on the good, but that was his way. Still, he felt like maybe that was all too much to dump on her. And he realized he’d been staring as the silence grew, eyes gnawing desperately through her as though maybe he could drill the thoughts into her mind instead of saying them. He finally opted for bringing her hand gently back off his wrist so he could squeeze it again, and a rather anti-climactic, “...you’re great.”

Khitti was stirred from that thirst-induced reverie as he pulled her hand away from his wrist and squeezed it. The words didn't quite seem to process at first. She was...what? A few blinks were given in astonishment, crimson brows knitted together. "I'm...vhat?", her words mirroring her thoughts. Still clearly bewildered by his very few words, she blinks again and then looks to him. "N-no. I'm not." What in the nine levels of hell was wrong with everyone? What the hell did they manage to see in her? The vampiress pulled her hand away from his slowly, bringing it together with her other, wringing them anxiously.

Dominic fixed his lips in a lopsided line, a mix of wanting to frown at her reaction and wanting to smile to reassure her. He scooted forward enough to turn around and face her fully, then took her hands back into his, voice uncharacteristically firm. He’d finally found some of those words, or the strength to say them. “No, listen to me. You care about people. You wouldn’t be having this problem if you didn’t. And... you have helped me, so many times now. And...” That firmness was fading fast. “And… entirely too many people don’t care. Or they pretend to as long as they get something out of it.” He was almost chastising Brand with that last bit. Still trying to separate himself... despite what Brand had said.

Khitti stared down at their joined hands, dark eyes roaming over both of their digits. "No...I'm a monster, Dominic...Zhe zhings I've done. Zhe zhing I am. It doesn't matter how much I care about people, vhen I finally let zhem in. I'll never be seen as anything but zhat." Like the song goes, she wanted to live, to love, but it was a long, hard road out of hell. "Part of me vishes something vill happen to me along zhe vay as zhis var plays out, but zhen zhe other part of me vill miss my friends. You guys are all I have.."

Dominic drove quickly to a counterpoint. “Have you not let me in? Because I don’t see you as a monster. And I wouldn’t. I couldn’t. But if there’s something you still haven’t told me... you’re welcome to try.” He released her hands finally, and drew his arms back into a fold across his chest. One eyebrow raised; one corner of his lips twitched upward. Aside from his physical attributes not having shifted at all, he looked not entirely unlike Brand in this moment. Whether he realized it or not.

Khitti 's unease shifted a little more into severity as she definitely noticed his change in demeanor. It was slightly unnerving. That paired with his questioning didn't really make things any better for her. "I..." She tries to find her thoughts, trying to explain things, "I've killed a lot of people." She scrunches up her nose in disgust at her own words. "No, some of zhem veren't people. A lot of zhem vere undead. Zhe ones zhat just shamble about vith nothing else on zheir minds but eating people. But...zhey vere still people. My family. And..." She had a tough time trying to focus, a frown finding her lips, "Zhen zhere's Revan." Leaning over away from Dominic, she grabs her quiver, and pulls it back to her. A strange, red rose is retrieved from within it and handed over to the Catalian. "I, amongst others, have been judged by zhis...entity. I don't know vhat he vants, but he uses illusions, like trials to ascertain vhat sort of person you are. He judged me...and I received zhis." It was clear by the way she was talking about it that it wasn't a good thing.

Whatever flicker of Brand-like countenance had been there, it shattered again as Khitti spoke. Dominic found himself trying to control the pace of his breathing, the rate of his heart, the quivering that had resumed in his hands. Had he really told her so little about his past? He supposed not, the way she talked about having killed people. She wouldn’t say it like that if she knew, like killing a few mindless husks put her at all on the level of ‘monster’. Maybe he should keep it that way, though the images projecting on the surface of his mind were making silence difficult. Maybe she would be too distracted by her own tale to read the one briefly written on his face, before he wrangled that under his control, too. The rose was studied as it was extended to him, a tactile and visual distraction he was most grateful for, but just looking at it yielded no explanation for its meaning. “I… don’t understand. What is it for?” Green eyes inquisitively touched on hers, then plummeted again. He wouldn’t be able to hold back if he looked at her right now, and he’d proven himself unstable enough already. He’d said enough. He was trying to help -her-, not blather on endlessly about himself.

Thankfully for Dominic, the dark ranger was far too into her own thoughts, as she studied the rose that he took, for her to catch the look in his eyes and the expression on his face. "Zhe man...Revan...he goes around judging people. He's an illusionist zhat places a scenario before you and you are forced to act accordingly. I vas not zhe first and I vas not zhe last. Zhere are three roses. White is for those pure of heart. Pilar and Hildegarde have received one of zhose. Black is for zhose zhat have no hope. I've been told zhat zhe high elf Aira zhat also resides in zhis camp has been given one of zhose. I know not specifically vhy. And zhe red..." There's a glimmer of sadness in her eyes, like she's really taken this whole judging thing to heart. The sadness disappears and rage came to pass, a slender hand reaching out to snatch the flower away from the Catalian. "Zhe red are for zhose zhat are something more. For zhe ones zhat have potential to do ill zhings." She crushes her hand around the rose's soft, sanguine form and then opens her digits once more. "It never ages. Never vilts. It is a reminder and a varning. He's going to come for me again...he's going to find me. I can feel it." Her words were ominous, definite. It was as if she could feel it in her very soul that Revan was going to find her again and very soon.

Brand thought this whole ‘judging’ thing sounded like a cartload of horse manure. Dominic lofted a brow as the thought floated his way; the other had been relatively silent most of this time, a low grumble stirring through his mind, but boy did Brand ever make it known when he had a truly strong opinion about something. Dominic, for his part, didn’t respond immediately; he was still trying to regain composure, to compartmentalize -- for now -- what Khitti had said before. And he wasn’t really sure what his own opinion on this ‘Revan’ character was, anyway. But at length, he breathed, “...He’s going to find you and do -what-, exactly? And what makes you so convinced his opinion matters?” Infinitely gentler than Brand would have worded it. See? They weren’t the same at all…

Of course Brand would feel that way, but it's not like he actually had been forced to do what Khitti did, even if it had just been an illusion. Thankfully for Khitti, she doesn't know what Brand's thinking. She could, however, sense that odd hesitation and Dominic's interrogation that followed, however gentle it may be, made her feel infinitely stupid for even bringing it up. "I don't know." is said flatly in response to his first question as the rose is stuffed away again in her quiver for safe keeping. An irritated smirk lines her lips as she eyes the ground as she sits there in silence. Ultimately deciding to not answer his second inquiry, she allows her last statement to be the only answer she gives him on the matter, keeping her line of sight far away from his.

Dominic scoffed, the sharp exhale blowing a cloud into the chilled air. The more he thought about it, the more he had to concede Brand had a point. Dammit, he couldn’t be wrong about everything -all- the time. Green eyes reached for hers, pleading for her to take his words to heart. “Khitti... whoever he is, his ‘judgement’ is faulty. You could stick the best, purest person into a rough situation and they’d still have the ‘potential’ to do awful things. And sometimes you’re left with no good choice.” He curled his fingers into a fist, then stared down at it. “And if he ever hurts you for that, I’ll…” He’d… what? He could -feel- Brand’s smirk crawling under his skin now, and it drew a shudder across his frame. He couldn’t bring himself to finish that sentence, and instead clenched those digits ever tighter until his nails dug indentations into his skin.

Khitti allowed his words to linger, that final incomplete sentence. She still didn't look at him, however, no matter how hard he tried to get through to her. Oh, she had heard the same from Daermon and Alex. But much like the bard and the elder vampire, the human before her didn't experience what she did. Didn't feel what she felt. None of them knew that she might've...maybe...enjoyed letting Amarrah take over when she had to slaughter those paladins. That urge to kill had become even more great as of late. The frost giants fueled a fire in her the likes of which had not been seen since her youth. "You'll do nothing, Dominic...zhis is my burden to bear. I should never have brought it up." is said finally to finish his sentence for him.

Dominic sighed and pursed his lips, that fist clenching and unclenching. Muscles tensed and relaxed; eyes narrowed and pierced a hole into the cold, hard ground. “Maybe not. But only because you’re not going to convince me that you’re a monster any more than you’re going to convince me that Brand isn’t.” Those last words were punctuated by a return of his eyes to her hands; he reached forward to give one a brief squeeze, an attempt at being reassuring before he rose to his feet, his line of sight tracing a path upwards and away. His feet were itching for a return to his walk, and a return to, well, the closest thing he ever got to solitude. “I don’t care what you’ve done. What you might do. What you’ve had to do. You’ve been kind to me when it counts, and that’s all I see when I look at you.” If only he could treat himself with such compassion, with forgiveness that came that easily... but he was too hardened against it.

Khitti frowned as he spoke and rose, looking like he intended to leave. She dwelled on his words for a few moments, not letting go of his hand just yet as she stood as well. "No, I don't zhink I ever could convince you zhat Brand isn't as horrible as you zhink. But consider the fact zhat him and Amarrah might be as alike as you and I. And also..." She's hesitant for a moment, then steps up on her toes, leans forward, and presses a kiss to his lips. It's incredibly brief and as soon as it's done, the vampiress pulls her hand from his, booted feet carrying her past him and close to the edge of the cliff again. "You should go...before zhings get bad again..."

It was too much to take in -- both the kiss, and the comment about Amarrah and Brand. He barely even had time to contemplate the latter before the former compounded on it and flatlined his brain. It was mush now, liquid, emotion soup. Poor Dominic. He’d barely even been touched before meeting her, and now this. That emerald gaze blinked after her, and his lips rose, then fell, then sucked inwards as he chewed on the lower one. He might actually bite a hole into it, given the intensity with which he was going about it, and despite how horrible the timing of drawing blood right now would be. And if Brand could have spawned his own form in that moment, he surely would have rolled his eyes and dragged the ‘kid’ away. Hell, he was threatening to crash the party in illusion form right now, but somehow, -somehow-, Dominic held him back. “R-right, you’re right, uh, o-of course,” was finally stammered her way as he turned, pulling that hood he’d been wearing further over his head. His path went opposite Khitti’s, bringing him further up the ridge and back towards Xalious -- but he pivoted once more before the distance between them grew too great. “Khitti... please take care of yourself, okay?” And then he was gone, ‘round the bend and far away. She wouldn’t see him shaking so.

As she felt that haunting melody that was his heartbeat get further away, the redhead turned to look over her shoulder as Dominic headed towards Xalious. Oh, she might've made a very, very big mistake. Or maybe it was meant to be? She didn't know, and now...she's not even be able to think on it. The other heartsongs from the people up above called to her again, and no longer had she the distraction of Dominic and whatever feelings that strange human stirred. Those emotions were lost to the arctic air as the hunger set in again and the life force of the very people she had sworn to protect called out to her again.