RP:Here Comes The Rain Again

Part of the What You Leave Behind Arc

Summary: After the devastating attack by Kahran and his army, Callum and Meri inspect the gardens that came under fire by Chisel, and they attempt to discuss the very obvious changes going on with Cal's personality.

The Botanical Gardens, Larket

There was not much use in rushing straight off to the gardens immediately after the attack, assessing the state of the gardens could wait for the sun. It was with early morning's light that Meri and Cal were up, readying themselves for the day, and hitting the road. It was not a long walk and the two have probably traveled this route together a couple of times before, those instances were more pleasant. The walk was silent to start on Meri's part for it was full of reminders of the night before. Cal's gardens were not the only thing to have suffered damage, there was evidence of lives lost the night prior within view. Buildings were unmistakably damaged, trees have been burned. Larket was not nearly so lovely as it had been in the past. Meri's mind was turning over the events that took place yesterday, as her gaze wandered. Every so often she found it baby blues traveling toward Cal, lips twitching down into a concerned frown with each glance. The walk was a short one and soon Meri and Cal would discover the extent of the damage done to the gardens.

Callum hadn’t really said much all morning. Or much the night before. He had at least did his duty for Queen and City and tended to the injured, hoping that his still work-in-progress water magic healing was enough. Sometimes it wasn’t. Sometimes he had to give the patient a bit of a shock with his electricity. Sometimes that wasn’t enough either. By the time the two of them had left the night before, Cal’d been covered in both the blood of the enemy and of their neighbors. Now, he was in another of one of his finely pressed shirts, pants, and waistcoat, but he was clearly a bit unkempt even with the change of clothes. A thin beard had formed--it was barely anything really, but was much more than anything Cal ever kept on his face--and he’d forgotten to brush his hair. You’d think he’d been in a better mood since he’d even helped to put out the fire with that downpour of his, but truth be told, he was in a weird frame of mind--he -had- actually killed something, after all. He’d felt that look Meri gave him every so often, but still he said nothing. Instead, he’d just continue to look sullen and dismayed.

When they got to the gardens, his heart sank. The toxic fumes had long since passed, thanks to the combination of his air magic and the rain he’d let loose last night, but… neither of those things helped his precious plants. All was in ruins, not a flower or an herb spared. It was clear that Cal was trying not to cry. He couldn’t decide if he should be embracing that boiling rage that’d been there the night before or mourn for his green babies just as other Larketians were mourning their family. One thing was for sure, that both emotions could agree on: both Chisel and Kahran had to die.

Meri wouldn't break their silence, though she wanted to. She had numerous questions flitting through her mind, but communication was not always her strongest suit. Cal was usually the exception in that department, she had no issue with speaking her thoughts and feelings to the storm mage. Today was different. It wasn't about Meri's thoughts or feelings, it was about Callum's and Meri couldn't find the right phrasing for what she wanted to find out. 'You seem so angry lately.' Bad way of putting it, no? Besides, he had plenty of reason to be angry over a few things and the events last night was just the most recent example. He had been angry enough to break his pacifist nature, actually fighting and killing to help defend Larket. 'Was he alright'. No, obviously he was not. 'Was he unhappy'. The list of questions could continue, but not one of them was good enough to warrant Meri breaking the silence even if she was concerned over these differences she was observing in Cal.

Words did not even come once they made it to the gardens and they both saw the extent of the damage done, but Meri did more than just stand around silently and staring in dismay. She did not need words to try and offer some comfort to Cal. A full on hug did not feel right in this particular instance, it felt like Cal was teetering on the edge between anger and sadness. Meri would gently claim his hand though, lifting his knuckles to her lips so that she could press a kiss to them while stepping a little closer and leaning her head against his shoulder. This would not be a lasting embrace, Meri would release Cal's hand and step away so that she could start to clean up the mess. It was the only thing that she could think to do. There was much to be done but Meri would pick one bed and focus her attention on it. If there were broken pots, debris, charred plant remains, Meri would be working to gather them up so that there was just earth left...which would probably have to be turned to make it suitable for planting again. So much work to be done.

Finally Meri settled on something to say, a simple but heartfelt, "I'm worried about you."

Cal barely registered the things Meri did: the kiss, the short-lived embrace, the tending to what was left of his precious garden. He did, however, hear her words of concern, and only then did he let out a heavy sigh. “Why?” Well, he knew ‘why’, didn’t he? He was well aware of all the things that had been running through Meri’s mind moments ago (and was likely still there), even if he didn’t realize that they were going through her head. He’d eventually join her, shifting back into silence as he tried not to think about all of the hard work he’d put into keeping these plants whole and safe and alive. After awhile, he’d say at length, “Keep all the plants together. We can use it for compost to help grow new ones.” Should he even -bother- growing anything new, he wondered to himself, the thought prompting a very visible frown.

The fact that Cal didn't even register her attempts to comfort him did not escape Meri's notice. It brings a frown to Meri's lips, one that deepens considerably when the guy sighs and questions why. This is a question that Meri intends to answer but for the time being, she lets silence fall over them again and it's broken by Cal speaking again, not by her. She nods to indicate she heard him and begins to separate the dead plants from the rubble that they will need to throw away. Why will be answered, "You have not seemed happy with a lot of the things in your life lately. And I don't mean that I think you are unhappy with me, I am pretty sure that you and I are still doing good...But it just seems like more has been going wrong for you than it has right and it has been building and boiling and you've been a little more prone to anger." Again, Meri does not mean this is directed at her, as she goes on to explain. "I mean, example, you have been so scared about meeting with Brand and Lionel and when you finally did you actually yelled at them....and you actually attacked Kahran last night? You? My pacifist? And obviously because I love you, I notice these things. I want to see you happy and you're not so therefore I worry." Meri is not looking much at Cal while she is talking, but that is only because she is semi-distracted with trying to clean up the gardens. “I don’t really know what to tell you. I’m not sure how to make things better. Things between us are definitely fine and I doubt that’s going to change, but… everything else?” Callum threw some of the dead plants aside in the pile designated for them, then just sat there, staring at the dirt. “I wanted to try to make things better and it’s just ended up biting me instead. The guild? That stuff with Rachelle would’ve likely gotten me killed if Hildegarde had her way of things. And now Kahran? You were attacked, and now Valrae’s probably going to burn. I-I-I…” Things seemed to be quickly unraveling, those tears that threatened to surface earlier did so now. “I can’t protect any of you. I can’t fight like Lionel and Brand can. I can barely heal worth a damn. Plants’ll only get you so far. I’m not like you; I don’t have the ability to move things with my mind. I’m completely frakking useless and no one takes me seriously.” He sucked in a bit of air through his mouth and let it all back out in a shuddering sigh. “It’s all so infuriating. I can’t even use my words anymore like I used to. Josleen’s skeptical of my allegiance to Macon--I saw it, it was written all over her face. But where the hell is words going to get me anyway when the guy that burned Catal shows up out of nowhere wanting to finish the job here and destroy all I worked for?”

Meri is attempting to listen and give full attention to Cal, but something he says toward the beginning there...Meri keeps looping over it. She does not interrupt or cut Cal off though, but at this point she is looking straight at him. The work could wait. "What do you -mean- it would have gotten you killed if Hildegarde had gotten her way with things?" Cal was getting all teary-eyed and Meri wasn't going to ignore it. She wasn't going to smother him with comfort just yet either though, she'd just move closer so that she was standing nearer and in front of Cal. "I don't know what to say about Valrae...I would like to keep her safe too, but..." Valrae was often acting alone and acting recklessly, how could either of them manage to keep her safe? "...she is her own woman...." Meri frowns for a second but continues on, "As for keeping me safe, how do you not? it's not like you abandon me in the face of danger? You don't run away and leave me? You do try and defend me? And you're not even close to completely useless. You just don't see what I see, and if the other's can't see it either? Well screw them, I'll make them." Or she'll start punching said people, who make too many assumptions as far as she is concerned. "...And maybe you don't fight like Lionel and Brand, but there is nothing saying that you can't learn a thing or two. We've been working together on plant stuff, hm? I can't help with the spells, but I could teach you a couple things. Or I bet Lionel would be willing. Maybe Brand. But Lionel has Kahran and Brand is going to be a dad soon..."

“Hildegarde showed up at the fort not long after the whole thing with Rachelle. Likely because of that Pilar girl. Josleen must not have wanted outside interference with dealing with Muzo and evidence and whatnot, because the dragon wasn’t there when Josleen and I spoke about the situation here, when I was working. She’s the Queen of Frostmaw, the city of -war-, so I assumed the worst on her end.” Callum shrugged and stopped messing with the plants for a moment, misty eyes fixed on his woman instead. He let her speak the rest of her mind, tears still rolling every now and then, though he was quick to wipe them away. “Lionel barely acknowledged any of the things that was said that day on the Tranquility. His head’s not here. His head’s with Kahran. Brand? Maybe… it’s not like there’s not time before their kid’s born. You? Definitely.” He frowned, sniffled a little more, and sighed, “I don’t want to fight. I want to help people, people like us. But, I don’t think I have that option anymore. Kahran attacked mere feet from our house. Chisel destroyed the only other thing I love besides you.” The frustration returned, dark brows furrowing somewhat to signal this, “I may not be able to stop Kahran, but I’m going to kill Chisel, Meri.”

Meri's poor heartstrings, every time that Cal gets even just a little bit weepy eyed. The whole world need not know this, Cal, but secretly Meri wishes she could cuddle it all better or something -- of course that would really only go so far. The psion's mind is only mildly put at ease when the storm mage reveals he may be assuming the worst in regards to Hildegarde's involvement, but the blonde was still glad that Rachelle was saved...and thus far there has been little to no trouble for Cal for being involved. That was most important. Meri frowns though as her mind digests everything., and there is a lot to process. Cal explains one red flag away for Meri but then goes and raises another when he declares he wants to kill Chisel. "I think picking Brand's brain would be good...He might be fire and you might be water." Loosely, some air and some lightning too, yes. "But he has still used his magic in the heat of battle...A lot. So....And I would be happy to work with you on any weaponry stuff." Not that Meri expects to make a warrior out of Cal. "You don't want to fight, and I support you in that too. But having the knowledge and using the knowledge are two different things." Meri shrugs, then frowns further. "But killing Chisel...? Are you sure...? I think that if you happen to succeed you will come to regret it..." Meri frowns and considers. Chisel was a friend, but she did destroy Cal's garden. Which surely Chisel knew Cal worked at? Meri has said such how many times now? "Do you really want revenge? In the form of death? I mean, I'd say we could do something else...like blow up her home, but that would involve damaging more plants..." Which Cal probably is not keen on doing.

Callum avoided the questioning about killing Chisel for a little while, instead choosing to focus on possibly training with Brand instead. “The techniques between fire and ice could be similar, though water’s more of a healing element, from what I’ve read. Ice is a different story. Lightning too. Not sure how much he knows about those, unfortunately, but I guess it’s worth a shot.” And then he went on about Meri teaching him, “As for weapons, I would definitely like that. Magic depletes after a time and I’ve not exactly expanded my magic usage in quite a long time. Didn’t need much of it for growing plants. Just make sure you go easy on me, yeah?” And then, it was silence for a bit as he finished with this quadrant of plants, carefully throwing glass in one pile and dead, rotten plants in the other. “She -can- die, you know. She’s not some deity like she thinks she is. Forest spirit? I guess that’s what some people call a dryad around here. She’s not like the others I’ve read about. They’re a hell of a lot more pleasant and they don’t all hate humans. She’s… some sort of an abomination in the plant world, I think.” Pause. “So maybe I don’t kill her. If I don’t, I hope to Selene someone else does.”

A bulk of what Callum was saying toward the beginning was beyond Meri's area of knowledge. What sort of techniques would mages utilize? She is not entirely certain but that does not stop her from listening to what Cal is telling her intently. Ultimately it was up to Cal to figure out how to better his skills with his magic, be it through Brand or through Larket's Academy. Outside of a sparring partner, Meri was of no use....Heck, she's not much of a sparring partner to begin with because it is not like Cal would want to beat up on Meri too much. Which brings us to, "Don't worry babe. I wouldn't want to go roughing up your pretty face too much." There was not much else Meri had to say about Chisel, ultimately the woman had mixed feelings. The last they did see of her, she was behaving quite oddly. Still. "I'm not telling you not to do what you want to do in regards to Chisel or anything, Cal. I am just trying to make sure...because there was a time you made faces at me for joking about eating dragon eggs."

Cal sat down on the ground, neither picking at the plants that were now worse than weeds nor tending to the shards of glass and pieces of bronze and brick that lack scattered around them--he’d make sure there wasn’t any underneath himself first though. “I don’t know what you want me to tell you right now, Meri,” came his words finally, with a hint of uncertainty and sadness. “Chisel just blew up the only other thing that matters to me besides you. This Kahran guy shows up only a matter of feet from our doorstep, wanting to burn my second home, like he did my first. My water went right through him. Heh… like that water was going to do anything anyway. Water won’t do anything to Kahran… or to Chisel… and I know it. I could probably call down all the lightning I want, too, but I doubt that would do anything to either of them. Knowing all of this together is making me feel a lot of things and either of them are pretty angry or pretty depressed and I’m not sure what’s gonna help it right now. No, killing them probably won’t either, but for right now, it sounds like a good idea. Doesn't mean I'm actually going to do it though.” Maybe.

I don't know what you want me to tell you right now. Out of everything Cal said to her just moments ago, that's what stuck out the most. Following just behind that statement, was that he was not sure what was going to help right now. Both left Meri confused on how to react. Talking more seemed pointless and what could Meri really do to make anything better for Cal? All that felt appropriate was to just nod her head in acceptance of this and resume work. "A thumb is hitched over her shoulder, "Just going to scope out the rest and keep cleaning up." And that's what she would do.

Cal opened his mouth to speak, but she’d already turned and walked away. Frakking great. The storm mage picked up a handful of plant matter and threw it across several of the quadrants of the area. What was he going to say anyway? He didn’t know. He couldn’t even sort out his brain for himself, let alone Meri too.