RP:Dying From A Broken Heart
Summary: Brennia visits Niall's mother before it is too late and they have a heartfelt moment while Bre lets mama Coin take a secret with her.
Coin Family Home
Brennia had taken plenty of time with Mama Coin, laying with the sickly woman in her bed as if she were her own mother as they talked about death. Even though the deaths of her parents and younger brother are far behind her, times like these make her ache for a goodbye - at least to her brother. Niall and his family somehow understood that she came from a cold upbringing, but it was necessary to breed a capable ruler as she has come to find out lately that she has always been unfit to lead anything. The coverup she created for her tired baggy eyes has finally worn off as she dabs her eyes again with a kerchief (it put up quite the fight, though!) She usually wouldn't wear make-up around close friends like this because it isn't like she is trying to look good for anyone or something, but Bre doesn't want Niall to worry about her health and most of all she doesn't want his mother to worry. It is the last thing they need. Her wings have been curled around herself like a comfort blanket and she looks up at Niall with red in the whites of her eyes from the crying. Just standing here looking at him gives her the feeling like she might bawl her eyes out all over again, but she takes a deep and soothing breath like Dr. Atwood suggested, calming herself. Bre silently pleads that his mother will keep her secret because she couldn't bear what that might do to Niall if he knew how much she misses the beyond. "I don't know how you've done it and are still doing it. I feel like a wreck," the tiredness in her slightly raspy timbre is evident and she sinks into the nearby porch bench as if she lost a battle.
Niall fought the urge to reach out and take the avian woman in his arms. They were standing on his ma’s porch now. The beginnings of summer had settled into Kelay. Dusk was settling around them, the soft breeze still cool from the lingering spring, and there was a crystal pitcher of iced tea sweating on the little table next to him. It would have been the perfect evening after a long day at work. Not so long ago, he’d be sitting on the wooden swing and rocking as he nursed a beer and the sounds of his family filling up the house would blend with the song of the forest that surrounded them. His dad might be sharing a smoke with him, his ma cooking up something that smelled good enough that he might risk a swat with one of her famous wooden spoons. His brother would be there with him, or out at the barn teaching his own son how to cool down a mare after a hard ride. Instead, the house was dark and quiet. His dad and brother were cold in a grave and his ma was laying in bed until she joined them. And the house was empty and there was a hollow place inside of Niall that felt as hollow as the halls he’d once ran barefoot in as a kid. Looking at Brennia, he felt the hopelessness of the situation more keenly than ever. She looked tired, which would be a rude thing for a man to say, and it would take a man far more foolish than him to say it. He’d hoped, a little childishly, that she would come here and take one look at his ma and tell him he was worried for nothing. But he could tell now that the truth he’d known all along just simply… Was. He was losing her, and his family would never be as it was. “I know she loved that. Thank you for visiting her like this. She loves you, I hope you know that.” Niall wrung his worn leather hat as he spoke, the drawl in his voice deeper as he fought back his grief. It was hard to look at her for too long, it made him feel as if he were staring into the sun, so his stormcloud eyes were looking down at his own boots when he spoke. He did chuckle a little, when she said she was a wreck. “Now, we both know you’re the strong one here.”
Brennia fidgets with the hem of the large purple sweater she is wearing. This was also to cover up her unhealthy body, but his mother had scolded her for not eating and being too thin. Bre didn't have the heart to tell her the reason why. The avain seems in thought as she stares ahead at the horizon while the sun is dipping below the line and her brow slowly furrows until she looks cross. "I should have done more," the anger burns in her chest hotter than she has felt in a long time. The ink on her skin lazily swirls in on itself, but she doesn't notice just yet as her voice takes on a familiar monotone sound, "I offered help to that…" she huffs, "that damn Mayor." Her grip tightens on the sweater as her knee anxiously bounces, "I told them that avians aren't susceptible to diseases and we could have at least helped contain the outbreak, but no one reached out." Her jaw clenches as her half lidded gaze burns a hole in the direction of Cenril and Brennia nearly becomes lost again because she is so very tired. It would be all too easy to shrink back to let the ink take over again, just for a little while? Niall's words bring her back and the ink stops moving in whatever formation it ended up in while her heart feels like it is in a vice from his words, "of course, Niall. I love her just as much, thank you for saying that," her smile spreads wide across her lips and pokes dimples in her cheeks as she looks up to a man who cannot even look at her. Her smile fades quick when he says she is the strong one and her brow knits together in concern while she swallows hard because she isn't strong at all anymore. It is getting harder to cover it up or lie about it as her normal soft and raspy timbre returns to say, "right…" Now that things are completely awkward because he still won't look at her, she breaks the silence with a question, "is there anything I can do to help, Niall?"
Niall stood then, taking a step forward in that easy, long legged way of his. “Hey,” He says gently, reaching out to touch her shoulder. “There is nothing to be done. Nothing. I couldn’t do a damn thing either. Sven knows I would have done it, you would have done it. But there is nothing to be done now. But you’ve managed to bring her peace, and happiness. That’s more than I’ve been able to do, so you’ve done enough.” His mouth felt dry. He stepped away to take a drink from his glass. When her smile returned, he felt like he’d been kicked in the chest by a mule. His own sprang to his face, the crow’s feet that lined his eyes appearing as it did. “You’ve already done it. I know she isn’t long for this world. I hope you wouldn’t mind me calling on you when its…” The words were getting caught in his throat, so he paused to collect himself. “When it’s time. When we say goodbye and we put her next to da, and my brother. I hope it’s not too much to ask that you’re there with me.” His hands rake through his too long, tangled hair. “I know it isn’t right to ask you, but… I don’t know. When I look at you I feel like you’re the only one that can understand.”
Niall tries to let his words reassure her grief, but she knows it will only take time. "I know," she accepts because she hasn't been useful for anyone with all the surgeries and no longer able to put magic to music. When he finally looks to her and smiles back she finds the strength to stand with him and take a small step towards the man, "her heart is broken and maybe that is the only thing ailing her, but if I had a love like your Pa and hers - then I would die of a broken heart, too." When he pauses, her hand reaches out to gently rest on his elbow while her solid teal gaze searches his face for the rest of the sentence. "Not at all, Niall. I would be honored to stand with you whenever the day comes," the avian agrees and her heart feels heavy as she watches his lips in the way his unique drawl forms words. She is blushing and looks down at the little space between them, "I'm glad you feel that way, but you're quite charismatic and there are more people in your corner than you believe." Her hand is still resting on his arm in comfort and she gives it a little squeeze.
Niall thought he’d known a love like his parents. It had only been once in his life, and he was looking at the woman he’d felt it with, but he’d run from that. He didn’t quite know why. And he’d run from his family too. Sure, he hid it behind work. His hands had never been idle. But the truth was he’d just packed up and left it all, assuming it would be here for him when he was ready to come back. But nothing was the same, and he’d lost everything he’d taken for granted. “Yeah,” He agrees, his voice rough. “She’s just waiting to see him again. I know it,” He looked away again, trying to untangle the knots forming in his chest. He found himself a little steadier when she agreed to be there with him in the end. Felt like he might be able to face the inevitable when the day came. He said nothing for a while, unable to verbalize the gratitude. “Thanks for that,” He finally manages, even chuckling a bit. “I don’t think I have been lately,” He admits. “It’s been a little harder lately to find the humor, you know what I mean?”
Brennia would be shellfish to open herself up to that kind of love, not with knowing what she knows and the condition her health is in. Being left behind like that felt humiliating on so many levels even though no one knew they were an item and she would be disrespecting herself if she opened that door for the third time for him. There is still genuine care in her heart for Niall, though and she would never let him be alone if he asks for help, it is just not in her character to be so heartless. Brennia has learned not to take life so seriously and to enjoy the flow of things while she still can. "Yeah," she softly agrees and simply looks down once more when he's looking away again. Her heart is also in knots, but she cannot focus on that right now with Niall obviously going through so much. Deep down, she does know what he means because she has been faking happy since she was rescued from that damn farm, but no one gives a spit about her problems and she is okay with that. "Yeah, I do know what you mean. I had to place my mindset in the future a while back," when he left, but that doesn't need to be discussed now. "I knew that one day I wouldn't feel this dread and I pretended it was already that 'one day' until I didn't really have to actively do it anymore and I eventually just was." She considers recommending him to see Dr Atwood, but his clinic is in Cenril and since that place is the cause of all this, Niall probably doesn't want to seek a grief counselor from the very place that it was born from. "Come here," she says softly while stepping into him and embracing him with her arms, then her wings. She will hold him there however long he needs.
Niall listens, wondering idly what she could mean. He knew there was plenty in her life he’d missed. It felt wrong to ask her now, to pry himself into her life if she wasn’t offering. He hoped one day they worked themselves back into a friendship, but those things couldn’t be forced. So he’d accept whatever she offered and would be grateful for the comfort she offered him now. And it was easy to let her pull him into a tight hug. He was delicate with her, as he’d always been. Treating her as if she were priceless, spun from the most fragile of glass. He could smell chocolate and peppermint, it wreathed around him in the summer breeze. And he could feel how thin she’d gotten, which caused his brow to furrow in concern. His voice was soft when he spoke again, not pulling away from her quite yet as he spoke with her head tucked under his chin, his arms full of her. “You know, you could come to me too. If you needed something, I’d be there. As a friend, they way you’ve been there for me.”
Brennia feels warmth on her cheeks and tips of her long tapered ears as tears sting her eyes, but dissipate before they could fall, "I know, Niall… I know."