RP:Bath Salts

Summary: Things, uh...they got crazy. I mean, when doesn't it for KhittiBrand?

Frostmaw Tavern

Khitti had decided to take some 'me time' for herself. She hadn't seen hide nor hair of Brand, and since there'd been barely any Dominic besides their date, she assumed the blonde was off drinking or likely punching things somewhere. Well...good. Fine. Whatever. She was better off alone anyway. At least for now. Small spurts of it was fine, but if it ended up like things in Raiez's cave were, she'd certainly lose her mind. She rooted around in Dominic's bag, as she'd intended on reading that book of runes he'd found, but instead she found her fairy tales instead. That'd definitely help to calm her. So, she got things set up: filled the oval-shaped, wooden bathtub, heated the water with her newfound fire magic, lit a few candles, made a fresh pot of tea (first for the lavender scent to help relax her, and then for drinking once she were done), grabbed her book, and sunk down into the depths of the tub. The story about the mermaid seemed fitting, every so often the vampiress wiggling her toes and kicking her feet lightly as if they were apart of a mermaid's fin. She was careful not to get the book wet as she sat there with everything but the top half of her face and hands submerged, only allowing those to show just so she could read. Why she hadn't done this before to ease her mind, she had no clue.

Guess what Brand’s been up to? If you guessed ‘drinking,’ ding ding ding ding! You win a prize! The prize is Brand, stumbling into the room off the side of their bedroom! The prize is also Brand staggering backwards when he realizes Khitti is already in the room, stark naked! But more than anything, the prize is Brand drunkenly overcompensating for the backwards movement and tumbling forward instead, straight into a collision course with Khitti and her precious tub of relaxation. Splash. Not so relaxing anymore. Sorry, Khitti. And now Brand’s clothes are soaked with more than just the smell of whiskey. Sorry, Brand.

Well, for starters, that book goes flying almost immediately and thankfully it landed across the room. There's definitely a scream too, but it's too late. Brand's fwumped his way into Khitti's cleavage. What the hell was it with DomiBrand falling into boobs? Seriously. There's a few moments of shock and then she realized how far under the water she was. Brand was either going to: A. suffocate in her breasts or B. drown in a bathtub. Neither of those is a good way for our drunken hero to go. It's gotta be all sweaty and in battle so Khitti can gaze at his gloriousness while he fights. It's hot. Yes, well, anyway, after the shock's gone, she's quickly pushing him out of the tub and onto the floor with a screeching, "Get out, get out, GET OUT!" She disappears into the tub soon after, hoping to the gods that the bubble mixture she put in there was enough to cover up all the important parts.

Brand was pretty sure he was dead. This is how people die, right? Tumbling into the naked breasts of the woman they love? Sounds like heaven. Wait, no -- those are the same breasts of the woman who has several very good reasons to hate him, and the same breasts of the woman he’d already sworn himself off from ever having relations with. Because we all know claiming something like that goes -so- well. Yeah… this is hell, isn’t it? A thousand deaths by the most embarrassing means possible? Brand always knew he’d end up there one day, if such a thing even actually existed. Maybe if he just stays where he is no one will realize he’s consciou--- oh, wait, nope, Khitti’s yelling at him. And he is very much still alive. And on his backside, staring up at the ceiling. Hello, ceiling. I hope you’re having a better day than I am. Maybe I’ll just wish myself dead right here. Yes. Sounds like a good plan.

Khitti remained underwater for a little while; the perks of not breathing was great sometimes. She didn't hear anything coming from outside of the tub. It was a little distorted sounding thanks to the water, but she'd still be able to hear -some- movement. But there wasn't anything. Then she started to worry. Did she hurt him? Was he even conscious anymore? How much did he have to drink? It was her fault again, of course. She never should've gone with him to the fort. Should've just come back here. There'd be a lot less avoidance on his part, and maybe even a lot less drinking. Maybe. Probably not. But still... He could be hurt and she did love him even if she didn't want to anymore, and that unfortunately compelled her further to want to check on him. She'd surface a little, just enough to look over the side of the tub, wet locks sticking to her face. She had this feeling of deja vu, like she'd read something -sort of- like this in a story. It was a very vague sort of.

Khitti wasn’t the only one having deja vu. Brand was recalling that dream he’d had while Khitti was still trapped in the jar, the one with all the strange electric light boxes. He’d come upon her bathing then, too. And she’d yelled at him there, as well. ...Yeah, probably best that he just stay where he was. Khitti, meanwhile, might be able to tell that he was still breathing. She might even be able to tell that he was trying to look like he wasn’t. As far as he was concerned, he was doing a pretty good job playing dead considering she hadn’t yelled at him any more yet. But, he was also very drunk, and a drunk person’s idea of reality is… hardly the most objective on matters like this.

Khitti just kinda stared at him while he laid there. Well, if that whole myth about scaring bears away by playing dead was real, Brand would be real dead. Because he was doing this horribly. He wasn't exactly like a fish out of water, but -she- could at least tell. Still, she wasn't satisfied though, and she climbed out of the opposite side of the tub, hopefully out of his view, and grabbed a towel. The redhead wraps the towel around her form, and slowly makes her way to the unfortunately drunken blonde. Keeping that thankfully large towel tightly around her, she kneels down beside his head, leaning over him so that he'd be looking at her from upside down. "Brand...? You better be okay...I don't vant to have to raise you from zhe dead. I'm not exactly skilled in zhat. You might come back vanting grains instead of brains."

Brand threw his eyes open and gasped, all very theatrically. Drunk!Brand must have studied from the Shatner school of acting. Whoever that is. He doesn’t know. It’s a mystery. His brain just thinks things sometimes when he’s been drinking as much as he has, and he sorta goes along with it like it makes sense. At any rate, there he was, on the floor, and there she was, staring down at him. Brand screamed like -he- was the one just caught naked in a tub and flopped onto his stomach, flailing a little like the beached fish he wished he was. Anything would be better than this. Eventually he managed to pull himself to his knees, at least. He’d at least have -that- dignity when she murdered him.

Khitti blinked repeatedly as he not only screamed, but flopped around like a fish. "Hey! Vhoa, merboy. Settle down. It's okay." She fixes the towel in such a way that it's not going to fall when she's not holding it, then drapes her arms over his shoulders, placing her hands on his chest. "H-hey. Don't freak out. Your heart's beating a mile a minute. It's okay. I swear, it's okay." Her grip on him was lose enough that if he wanted to pull away he could, as she was merely just trying to calm him down, but she would at least pull him back down to sit on the ground. No point in him kneeling like that if he was just gonna fall over again.

Brand fell back to the ground. It was totally his idea. “Frak, peach. So you’re -not- gonna murder me for walkin’ in on your naked self?” He definitely seemed like he genuinely thought she was going to. “Not that. Y’know. Wouldn’t be the worst way to go.” You keep talking like that, Brand, and you -are- going to get murdered. Also, aren’t you supposed to be not hitting on her, doing your whole frozen ice prince routine? What the heck. You’re pretty toasted.

Khitti did that thing where you just stare off at the camera like 'did that just happen?'. Well, it did. Brand, King of Snark and Lord of Douchebaggery, just hit on Khitti, the woman whom he says he'd never ever ever be with. And yet, here he was, sitting in her nearly naked lap. What a strange situation indeed. "Shut up. No." Her hold would shift into a hug, but she'd not acknowledge his comment on dying. "Just...sit here and settle down a moment and zhen I'll let you go. You get up too fast and you'll do vorse zhan fall onto my chest. You're lucky I vasn't asleep. You're lucky I vas even here. You could've drown..." Was that concern in her voice? For him? The guy that totally hates her? No way.

Brand finally seemed to realize his proximity to Khitti, and moreover that she still wasn’t dressed in anything more than a towel. “Yeah, well, I’m fine, thanks,” he said hurriedly, scrambling up and away from her. He held onto the wall for support as he stumbled back to the bedroom. Frell. He was gonna have to change out of these sopping wet clothes. He dove behind that changing curtain Khitti like to use so much (even for Dominic, which begged the question -- why was she still just as modest around the kid when -they- were the ones in the damned relationship) and stripped out of his shirt and pants, only to realize his problem. His… rather inconveniently large and obvious problem. He’d not gotten any dry clothes to replace the wet ones with, and was now standing there shivering and dripping behind the curtain in only his underwear, very drunk and feeling very sorry for himself and very much wishing Khitti would’ve just put him out of his misery a few minutes ago.

Well, there went another moment that could have been 'a moment' between the two of them. Good job, Brand. This time, of course, she wasn't trying to force any sort of thing that could be considered 'love' onto him. She legitimately was just trying to help. The vampiress sighed heavily, let out a soft, stifled scream of frustration through gritted teeth, then promptly calmed herself and went into the other room. Assuming he'd just flopped onto the bed, she wandered to the closet, her attention on the floor. Her pajamas were gathered, which actually just ended up being one of Dominic's shirts (hey, they're comfy, okay?), and she was soon headed to the changing screen. And then she bumped right into Brand. A naked Brand. They were both naked and in the same room together. Not even the same room, but literally right next to each other. Her response to the situation was slow: first she saw his feet...and then a leg...and then her eyes got super wide. "Um...V-vhat are you doing? Please gods tell me you're vearing a shirt. Please tell me you're vearing anything at all."

Lightning quick -- especially impressive, for a drunk person -- Brand reached out and snatched Dominic’s shirt from Khitti’s hands, slipping it on as if it was all one fluid movement. Hey, it’d fit him just as well. Slightly better, even. Kid liked baggy clothes that Brand managed to fill out better. So there he was… a pile of wet clothes at his feet, a dry button-up shirt hanging off his frame… and not much else. Clothing, anyway. Brand pivoted away from Khitti, holding the shirt slightly open to try to mask… well. Things. “Yes’m. Wearin’ a shirt. Yes.” Well, sure, Brand. You are now. Now that you’ve stolen it right out of Khitti’s grasp. Oh gods, he was so definitely dead and this was so definitely the seventh and most agonizing level of hell.

Khitti, after everything was said and done, let out a sound that could only be described as a sort of mix between a sigh and a squeak. Well, now her clothes her gone, and she still didn't look up from the floor because there were things in places that she probably shouldn't be looking at. "R-right. O-okay." She didn't go and get more, but instead turned and ran to the other room with the tub and promptly slammed the door behind her. If it was possible for a vampire to die of embarassment, now was the time to find out, because it was likely going to happen very soon. Well, at least he'd have the opportunity to put on clothes now. Khitti, on the other hand, sunk to the floor with her back to the door, her legs all sprawled out in front of her. Yep. This is how she dies.

Was she gone? Okay. Yes. Good. Brand slithered out from behind the curtain and picked a pair of trousers from out of his dresser. That was the easy part. The hard part was actually possessing the coordination to get them on when he was seeing double. Teetering on one leg and holding onto the bed for support, he soon managed to get one leg on up to his knee. Time to lift up the other foot and get that one in… aaaaand he was falling again, facedown into the carpet, with a thud sharp enough to wake up all the dead people he very much wasn’t one of. On the bright side, bruises might distract him from the hangover he was going to have in the morning. If he survived until then.

Khitti cringed as she heard that thud and could only wonder just what the hell he was doing out there? Hopefully now he had pants on. She chanced a look, opening the door just enough to see if he was okay and--oh god there's his butt. It's right there and it's...wait...it's actually kind of nice--oh god shut the freaking door. There was another squeak and the door slammed shut again, Khitti quickly scampering away to hide on the other side of the tub. This...this was a weird day. A very weird day.

Soon enough, Brand managed to pull himself upright again, and this time he got his damned pants on. Phew. He crossed over to Khitti’s wardrobe, picking out a dress for her without a whole lot of thought given to which one he took, and then peeked through the door to where the tub was. “Khitti?” He didn’t see her. He stepped inside. “I, er. I should’ve been more careful. I’ve got clothes for y--” And he was slipping again. There was still water on that floor. Luckily, the dress didn’t get into any of it, but he fell flat on his ass just outside of a puddle again. Oh, hey, there’s that book. Brand grabbed it and held it open, face down over… well... y’know. Convenient.

Khitti heard him, but didn't respond, and then of course, he slipped, and she cringed again. He was about as good at being a klutz as she was, except, she was usually stone cold sober when she tripped and fell. He'd somehow managed to grab her favorite dress, the Kree one, and with a sigh, she'd get up to retrieve it. Without a word to him, she snatch it up and step around him to get to the other room, where she'd promptly change and pull on her boots. Wait...her boots? The vampiress steps over to the doorway to the bathroom, staring past him so she can seem to be looking in his direction but not quite, "I...I'm going to go...I-I shouldn't be here..."

Brand had struggled back to his feet and stood, swaying, against the wall, book still held against his hips. His eyes grew almost comically wide at her stuttered words and he clambered forward again, where he’d come to a stop at the door frame. “Kiwi, no, you -- you gotta -- I’ll go. Shouldn’t even be here. Dunno why the frak I came in here anymore. You were here firs’, I’ll leave you be.” He’d try to push past her if she’d let him, to try to escape out the door of their room before she could.

Khitti shook her head, her hands moving to his chest to push him back and also sort of hold him up. "N-no. I should go. I just n-need some air or something." She looked at her hands and quickly pulled them away, taking a step or two backwards, "I need to clear my head...before I do something you're gonna hate me for." The redhead stiffened her back a bit, as if to remind herself that she -did- have a spine and that she could do this, turned around, and suddenly remembered the tea. Ugh. Dominic would hate it if that all went to waste. There's a faint groan because she can't escape just yet, and she storms over to the table with the still warm pot of tea. Grabbing the biggest glass she can find, she pours as much as it will hold, and starts drinking it. While the lavender in it was nice, it did nothing to calm her now. Not a damned thing.

Oh, good. Brand could make good on his own escape. He was almost out the door before he realized he probably shouldn’t bring the book with him. The door closed again as he pivoted back in, still standing as if trying to hide himself from her. “Frak, I guess I should give you back your book --” He held it outstretched to her, snapped it shut -- and the room went dark. “That… wasn’t supposed to happen,” Brand said to the darkness. Well, duh.

Khitti let out an 'ugh' as the lights went out. "Vhat zhe hell did you do? Some kind of freaking trick vith your magic I don't know about?" Well, she was much too preoccupied with her drink to look at where the book was being held out to her, so she stepped closer to Brand and reached out with her free hand to grab what she thought was her precious tome. Why's it covered in cloth? No...wait...that's...that's not the book. That's---OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?! "HOLY HELL, BRAND, GET AWAY FROM ME!" She drops the glass immediately, letting it shatter on the ground, and runs to the other side of the bed. "If you don't fix zhis darkness business, you're never gonna see daylight again!" Sure, she could see in the dark (when she was properly paying attention to where things were at, that is), but that doesn't mean she necessarily -liked- the dark. You know what hides in the dark? Spiders. And bears. And Brand's...nevermind.

A light sparked on just as Khitti and Brand were both screaming at each other. That light spotlighted several different sections of the room and then shone straight upwards, right underneath… Khitti’s face? “Hello, lovelies.” Ah. Nope. Definitely Lydia’s. She was sitting there with a bright light shining under her like a kid at a campfire in a 90’s horror movie. Whatever that meant. Brand didn’t at all know where these weird thoughts kept coming from. “You’re both going to sit down like the -good- little squabbling children I know you can be if you’ll shut up for five ‘gorram’ minutes.” The light swung around to spotlight on the bed, and Khitti and Brand would both feel something like a gravitational pull dragging them towards it. Ooooh, spooky ghost powers.

No. No. No no no no. This is not happening. "Vhat zhe hell?! LYDIA?!" is all that's said before she's pulled back onto the bed with Brand. She tries as much as possible to claw her way to the front side of the bed, but alas it's not enough, as she's then pulled back once again, her back hitting the wall with a thud. "Lydia...so help me, I vill bring you back from zhe dead and kill you again." Wait, was that still a thing she could even do? That's twice tonight she's threatened to bring someone back and she doesn't even know if she can do it. Empty threats as usual, Khitti. Honestly, a better question is how Lydia's even here. Hm. Oh look, Brand's on the bed next to you. You know what this could lead to, don't you? No, not that. Well, maybe, but probably definitely a lot of you yelling at him again and maybe even hitting him a few times. Sheesh, I thought you -wanted- to get in bed with Brand. This is awkward.

Lydia just laughed. “Oh, honey. I’m not a person. I’m just a bunch of ~magic book dust~ manifested as something you’re able to understand.” Not-Lydia laughed and waggled her fingers mystically. Brand shifted uncomfortably in the spot the book had pulled him to; he was shoulder to shoulder with Khitti now, thanks to that strange book. He considered lighting the thing on fire to try and break the spell, but he didn’t think Khitti would ever forgive him if he burnt her book of fairy tales, and things were on thin ice with her enough as it was, and -- hmm. Ice. Brand leaned forward and attempted covering the floating book in an increasingly thick layer of frost as Not-Lydia rambled on, oblivious. “Now that I have your attention, I’d like to read you a story. It’s a good story. The best. I made sock puppets for the occasion and everything!” Sure enough, Not-Lydia produced a sock-Khitti and a sock-Brand from seemingly nowhere and promptly pressed their faces together, making loud, sloppy kissing noises. She’d not get any further though -- Brand’s efforts reached a tipping point that caused the frozen book to crash to the floor. All at once, Not-Lydia and her sock puppets were gone, all the lights re-lit, and the force weighing down the real Khitti and Brand dissipated. “I’m... thinkin’ I drank too much,” Brand muttered, tumbling off the bed. “Or not enough. -Definitely- not enough for magic book shenanigans.” He crawled to the table and threw up into the vase of flowers at its center. Well, at least it’d be less to clean up that way.

"M-magic...book?" What the actual hell just happened. That was too weird. Too real. Too...wait. Oh gods. That awful day where her and Amarrah broke out into song for no reason. It -had- to be the same book, unless...maybe he had done something to it? No, it couldn't be the same book. There was no way Raiez would've gotten it. That'd be too much of a coincidence. She slid off the bed as the contents of Brand's stomach became best friends with the vase, picking up the ice-covered book along the way. "V-vhat did you do to my book, Brand?" She wouldn't even let him catch his breath before starting in with her interrogation. "Did you zhink zhat vas funny? Is using Lydia to make fun of my feelings hilarious to you?" Her grip on the book increased, the sound of ice cracking coming from the tome, though it didn't shatter entirely.

Brand paused in his hurling long enough to glare at Khitti. “C’mon, kiwi. You really think I’d do somethin’ like that? Besides, I don’t even -have- magic like… whatever the frak that was.” He choked up the last of his bile and then, groaning, slumped back onto the bed. “Jus’ let it thaw. It’ll be fine to read when it’s dried. Prob’ly.”

Khitti just stood there, tears forming in her eyes as he made up excuses and fell onto the bed, "...It vas one of zhe only pieces of my home zhat I had left..." She blinked away the droplets that collected on her eyelashes, shifting her gaze away from him down to her book, "...and you ruined it..." She took a few steps back away from the bed, shaking her head before turning and throwing the book into the fireplace. As the book hit the flames, there was a brilliant flash of blue light from burning dust within, and when it subsided, the book was left to sit there and char atop the logs. Khitti didn't bother brushing her hair after her bath, nor did she grab her duster, instead, she turned and ran out the door and down the stairs to head outside.

A sense of panic can be a bit sobering, even as far gone as Brand was. As Khitti fled, he scrambled back off the bed again, dousing the flames with a wave of his hand and snatching the book from its ashes. Thankfully, it’d take a bit more time than that to burn an iced-over book; if anything, throwing it onto the fire had actually helped. It was still damp, but he could flip through the pages now without problem. They might turn out a bit wavy or wrinkled from the damage, but it was better than nothing. Now, the obvious question: should he go after Khitti, or give her the space to cool down? ...No, he decided, staring down at the book. He’d stay here, mind the book’s recovery as it dried, sober up (maybe), and wait for her to return.