RP:Always Keep Running

Summary: After returning from taking Pilar to the fort, Khitti has one of her typical freakout episodes. Brand, uh, deals with it.

Frostmaw Tavern

Not long after that fateful drunken night, Khitti had left for some time to seek out Pilar, leaving Dominic and Brand to their own devices. Sometimes this meant a quiet night with tea and one of Khitti’s fantastical books of adventure and romance… and sometimes it meant sparring at the fort, or drinking bourbon and picking fights at a tavern. This night was an odd mix of both, as Brand sat on the bed with legs sprawled, drink in one hand and book in another. Presently, he was halfway through some long-winded thesis on magic’s currents within the realm of Lithrydel and how they might be used to increase one’s magical prowess in combat. A bit of a dry read, yes, but not for Brand. Brand was finding all sorts of practical applications for his own magic within. This was going to be quite a productive night, or so he thought.

Khitti entered the tavern and headed upstairs, stopping just in front of the door. She hesitated with her hand on the doorknob only because of the scent she caught: Brand's. There wasn't any time to worry about that stuff now. Without warning, she barged into the room and set off towards her knapsack. Thankfully, it was still where she'd left it days ago atop the dresser, and without a word to Brand, she started packing again. There was no emotion on her face, and the tiny bit of makeup she chose to wear had long since worn off. She looked tired, literally drained in both the sense of lack of sleep and giving her blood to Pilar to help her heal. She didn't even spare the blonde a passing glance as she headed into the other room to grab the few necessities that were in there, a determined fiery look in her eyes. He'd know that look quite well as he wore it often; it was the look of someone who was going to find a very specific person to kill.

“Hey,” called Brand, but she didn’t seem to even register his presence. The book snapped shut (no magic dust this time) and he called again, louder, “Hey. Where’re you off to in such a rush? Where’s the fire?” Ah, yes, leave it to Brand to mouth off fire jokes in a serious moment. The book and drink were set onto the end table, and he rose to intercept her, standing in the doorway of the other room. No drunken swaying, not this time -- maybe he was getting his drinking a bit more under control? Or maybe he’d only just been getting started.

After stuffing her hair brush, tooth brush, and whatever else she might need into her bag, she turns and walks right into Brand. She lets out an irritated sigh, backing away a couple paces, her line of sight on the ground. "Move, Brand. I have to go. Zhere's something I need to take care of. I'll be gone for awhile." Don't look at him. Not at all. The moment you do, this whole shell you built around yourself is going to crack like an egg. Don't do it. She didn't try to squeeze past him, but the longer they stood there, the harder it was for her to hold in all of the emotions that built up over the past couple of days. Her eyebrows would occasionally knit together and the corners of her mouth would twitch downward into a frown; it didn't last long though as she soon forced an emotionless mask back onto her face.

Brand canted his head, but remained in place -- in fact, his feet found firmer roots and he folded his arms over his chest in that stubborn Brand way of his. “Tell me what’s goin’ on.” Brand, you might regret asking that. Those waterworks of hers were bound to turn on any second now, weren’t they?

Khitti just...dropped her bag and practically crumpled to the ground at his feet when she realized she wasn't going anywhere. She was so tired, so very tired. She really couldn't keep this up anymore. It hadn't even been that long really. Gods damn his stubbornness. He couldn't just let her leave and do what she needed to do? The waterworks did indeed start, and to hide them from him she put her face in her hands and sobbed.

Uh oh. Brand was now solidly out of his element (heh, another mage joke). He’d try to pick her up and get her to her feet again, hands under her arms and lifting her to her proper height. If that didn’t work, he’d end up sinking down to sit before her, cross-legged, a hand moving to comfort her by squeezing her leg but retreating before it could actually carry out that action. “What’s happened?” he repeated, in either case.

The redhead didn't budge, the crying only worsening as he asks that question. It'd take her a few minutes more of getting all of that out before she's finally able to speak, and even then she could barely form words. "Pilar...Someone took her. Zh-zhey--her leg. It's gone." The anger surfaced again, Khitti's small form shaking as the emotions shifted back and forth with as much ease as it was for Brand to shift to Dominic and back. With an irritated scream, her left hand curls into a fist and promptly punches the floor, leaving quite the dent thanks to her vampire strength. "I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill zhis...Desparrow." The tears continued to flow, and her hand was now bleeding, but she didn't seem to notice or care. "I need to go. I need to find him. He hurt her." She finally looked up at Brand, eyes wide with rage, and fear, and hatred, "I'm going to kill him and zhen I'm going to bring him back. I'm going to do it over and over again until he truly knows vhat pain is like." She knew that would make her no better than the necromancers from her past, or even Desparrow himself. But, at this point, she didn't care.

“Oh. That guy.” Maybe Brand was still processing, but he didn’t have much of a reaction to hearing this news of Pilar. Not an outward reaction, anyway. “That, eh, may not be a wise choice. Not by yourself, anyhow. Fought ‘im once. Well, a couple of times, actually, but the second time was mostly Dominic just runnin’.” He sighed. He was saying all this despite knowing Khitti wasn’t terribly likely to take his words of caution. -He- wouldn’t, anyway, and Khitti was more like him than she probably wanted to admit. “He banged me up pretty good, not gonna lie. S’not gonna be as easy as you think.”

Khitti calmed down a little as she listened to him, -a little-. She wiped at her eyes, her line of sight on the floor again, reddish brows furrowed together. "Vhat am I supposed to do zhen...? Just sit around and do nothing. She's my sister..." The anger had faded it seemed, the sadness returning again. "Besides you and Dominic, she's zhe only zhing keeping me together." There's a pause as she pushed herself up off the ground, leaving the bag as stepped around him and moved to sit in front of the fireplace. "Everything's going to fall apart again. I don't know if I've got it in me to glue it all back together. I can't. Not again."

Brand gave out half a chuckle as he stood once more and followed her. He positioned himself behind her, seated on the bed. “Peach, I didn’t say do nothin’. I said don’t go alone. Dunno what he’s been up to in the last, eh, six months or so? Maybe eight? But I wager you’n I could take him together.” There was a pause as Brand gave her a once-over, assessing her condition since she’d left. Khitti seemed no worse for wear physically, at least. “And what’s this about Pilar’s leg? She’s safe other’n that now, I hope?”

"No!" was said quickly after he'd finished speaking, in quite the angry, firm tone before her voice softened somewhat and she repeated the word, "No..." A pause. "It's gone. Almost entirely. And her zhoughts vhen she fed from me..." She turned for a moment to look over her shoulder at the blonde, "He tore zhe vings off her drake too. She couldn't even sleep vithout something to rid her of her zhoughts." Looking back at the fire, she draws up her legs, wrapping her arms around them. "She begged me not to go look for him. Heh, she doesn't zhink I'm strong enough either. Zhat's been zhe vay of zhings for so long. My family vill always be taken from me. Always hurt. Or vorse. And I'll never be able to do anything about it." The tears started up again. "I von't ever be able to save any of you."

There was hesitation before Brand moved off the bed to sit at Khitti’s right side. No arm was wrapped around her like Dominic might have done -- regardless of what had transpired before, Brand was simply not the touchy-feely type -- but still he sat shoulder to shoulder with her, bouncing into her lightly before settling in. Only the leg nearest her was curled like hers; the right was stretched out away from her across the floor, its foot flexing and straightening again in a slow, even rhythm. With the way his left elbow perched along the knee, his view of the vampiress was somewhat blocked by his own arm. “There a reason you’ll run headlong into danger on your lonesome, but not -with- anyone else? Pilar needs you alive, not rushin’ in on another suicide mission.” -Another-. He hadn’t forgotten her little stunt in Raiez’s cave, and if this was what it took to keep her from doing something rash again, he wouldn’t let her forget it, either.

"Because if I could die to keep zhe people I love safe, zhen I'd do it," she said simply. Khitti leaned away from him somewhat, almost shying away from him. "A rather large part of me still doesn't feel quite right here. Vhile I vas gone, every zhing continued on as normal. Nothing stopped. It didn't vait for me. And now I feel as zhough I am behind everyone, running a race I'll never vin." She rests her head on her knees, the fire reflecting in her eyes. "It's overwhelming. I can't keep up. Vhen I close my eyes, I'm living someone else's life, and vhen I open zhem, I'm vandering aimlessly. If my running headlong into danger can actually do some good, can help people, can make me less burdensome to others, zhen I'd rather go out zhat vay. It might be suicide of a different sort, but at least I sort of look like zhe hero I vish I vas." She breathes a heavy sigh and closes her eyes, "I'm sorry I fight vith you so much. And zhat I hit you zhe other day. I should not have taken it out on you. Zhis is all so very..." Another sigh. "...tiring. I don't have zhe strength for it."

Brand sighed. She -really- knew how to try his patience sometimes. “Kiwi, that’s piss-poor logic even for you.” Another sigh, this time at himself. He’d meant to try to have a -little- more tact than that… but nope. “That’s not how the world works. You don’t just give a life to protect somethin’ once an’ then it’s safe forever. Hell, you’re lucky if it’s safe for a good five minutes while you catch a breather. You do somethin’ reckless to save someone once, aye, they’re safe from that one particular thing for that one particular time, an’ then -you’re- dead and -they- have one less person to protect ‘em next time.” The rest -- the apologies, her tiredness -- he said nothing to. He didn’t know -what- to say to that, in truth.

"Yeah. I guess it's stupid." She turned her head, laying on its side, studying him quietly even though his arm blocked most of his face from sight. She'd look away if he glanced at her, resuming her stare at the fire. "...Vhat have zhe two of you been up to vhile I vas gone...?" Was she...actually trying to have a normal conversation with him? "I'm certain you likely enjoyed your 'me time' and zhe silence, yes? No gorram vomen to bug you and demand you quit drinking for zhree whole days." Khitti cast a side glance towards Brand, the faintest hint of a grin surfacing. "Must've been heaven for you." She did her best to mask her depression again. It's not like this was Brand's area of expertise, and he likely didn't want to deal with it much regardless.

“Eheh.” Brand shifted, peering back momentarily at the bottles and glasses on the end table. “I’m not drunk now, am I? Not as much of that as you seem to think.” He, too, stared into the fire, encouraging the flames to reach higher with a little of his own magic. That never got old. “I dunno. Kid got it into his head to build a whole gorram snowman family. Maybe you saw it on your way in?” He looked at her with a growing smirk. “The snow spider’s mine, of course.”

Khitti tilts her head a bit, shaking it, "No, I didn't see it. I vas a bit, uh, pre-occupied." She taps her chin, side-eying him again, "You could always show me. Or not. I don't care." Khitti left it open for him to say no, moving away from him again and standing up. "Are you hungry?" She was certainly being weird, constantly changing the subjects, actually being nice and respectful to him. It was odd. Definitely odd.

Brand scrunched together his brows in a mixture of confusion and suspicion. “What, you’re just gonna let your crusade for vengeance drop so easily? I’d pegged you for a more stubborn lass than that, peach.” Certainly odd, yes. Brand had a few theories as to why but was choosing to ignore most of them. At least, for the time being.

Khitti sighed heavily and nodded. "Yes." She didn't elaborate, instead moving towards the tea stuff to organize the different tea bags and tea leaves accordingly. "I used to be. I mean, I guess I still am, but..." The vampiress shrugged somewhat, picking up one of the peppermint ones and sniffing it. "I don't know. I don't vant to talk about it."

“Well.” Brand rose to his feet as well, circling to where he’d left his drink and his book. Another deep swig was taken of the drink -- more bourbon, no doubt -- but he merely lingered there, not getting back onto the bed and frankly looking a bit unsure as to what to do next. “Mm, I s’pose I could eat in that case. Did you have somethin’ in mind?”

Khitti started wringing the bag absently as she pondered her next question, doing enough of it to the point where the bag splits open. She lets out a faint squeak, quickly trying to gather up the finely ground tea leaves that fell out of the mutilated bag. "U-uh...ve could...um...go downstairs? O-or I could get something and bring it up here." But that'd mean they'd be alone. Eating dinner together. It'd be almost like a date. But not really. "N-n-not like a date or anything!" She hadn't forgotten how he reacted towards that notion when they were at the fort. "Or, if you vanted to be by yourself, I could go elsewhere. I guess I should get out more anyway. Away from zhis inn." Why was this so difficult? And why did she chose to do this instead of talk about the stuff with Pilar? Ugh.

Brand just shot her a faintly amused expression in response to all of her verbal flailing. If he was at all flustered by this talk of dates and whatnot, he wasn’t one to admit it now, instead only responding with a shrug and a cool, “Up to you, peach.” His gaze lingered on her as she moved about, but he neither moved to settle into the room nor towards the door, giving her no indication for if he had a preference out of the options given.

He didn't have a preference at all? Sigh. He always had to make things difficult. As if all of this internal flailing she was doing wasn't bad enough. "Okay..." Khitti actually sounded disappointed. If he didn't want her here, then it'd be nice if he just came out and said it. It would make things a hell of a lot easier. Finishing with the tea and throwing away the bit she managed to destroy, she heads towards the door. "I'll...be back." There was no elaboration on whether or not she'd be back in minutes or perhaps hours and whether or not he was to be left to his own devices. She had wanted to a distraction from Pilar, but the situation with Brand seemed to have not changed at all, and was maybe even worse, and that thought lingered in her mind instead.

“Mm. Wait, you mean you’re gonna bring back food, or are you leavin’ again?” Well, there was a -hint- of an opinion on his part, anyway.

Khitti was off in her head again just like that, a pensive look on her face as she left without answering him. She was gone for what seemed like forever, mostly because it was rather busy in the tavern that night -and- because she couldn't decide what to get them for dinner. What did Brand even eat? Half the time, the only the she ever saw him consume was alcohol. Well, after quite awhile, she finally decided on a meal, opting to get two of the same to make things simple. Drargon loads up the food on one of their large serving trays, as well as two mugs of hot chocolate with cinnamon and marshmallows. With a distracted nod, Khitti'd thank him and then head back upstairs. Holding the tray with both hands, and not having much faith that she could handle it with one, she lightly kicks at the bottom of the door with her foot, hoping Brand would get it for her. If not, things were going to get rather difficult.

Brand had retreated with weary mutterings to his previous spot on the bed with his book, but at the knocks on the door he jumped quickly back to his feet, paused to compose himself, and walked with a languid pace back to the door. The tray was taken off her hands an instant after he’d thrown it open and set upon the dining table. “Ah, guess that answers that. Was startin’ to wonder if I was going to have to fend for myself.” He was smiling slightly, trying to bring levity to the room and cut away that discomfort he’d sensed before she’d left.

Khitti blinks a few times at his smiling and the fact that he took the tray so quickly from her...like...he was being nice or something. "Ah. Yeah. Sorry. I vas zhinking, I guess." Please don't ask about what. She pulls the large lid off of it, revealing two giant steak dinners both with roasted potatoes and various other roasted root vegetables. While the side dishes were pretty much the standard faire for most dinners, the steaks were massive, looking like they'd be fit for a frost giant. For a snack at least. For a human and a former human, however, it'd was a huge portion size. "I...uh...vasn't sure vhat you'd like. Hopefully it's okay." She tilts her head as she eyes the steak, taking her plate and putting it in front of her. "And zhey seem to have zhe mentality zhat 'one size feeds all'." The vampiress picks up her fork and knife and goes to dig in until she remembers the drinks, "And, zhere's hot chocolate. I vasn't sure on zhat either, so I figured you could try drinking it zhe vay I like it. If you vant it zhat is. If not..." She trails off, shrugging.

Brand settled into a chair opposite Khitti, opting for a taste of the hot chocolate first. “Good choices. Though yeah, I s’pose we likely could’ve split one of these steaks and just had our own sides. Somethin’ is gonna have to get sent back to the kitchen later, for sure. But.. steak is always a good choice, peach. All of it is. Though I can’t say I’ve ever had hot chocolate before…” Brand took another taste and licked his lips. “...I’ve been missin’ out somethin’ fierce, I’m afraid.”

Khitti grins a little as he sips the hot chocolate, clearly pleased with the fact that he likes it. "Good. I vas never much of a tea drinker until Dominic came along." She tilts her head towards his cup, "Zhat vas always my go-to drink. Vhen I could afford it, zhat is." Nothing's said in regards to the fact that something off their plates might have to go back downstairs, mainly because she'd already started in on her own meal. Apparently, she was a lot more hungry than she'd let on for she was nearly done with her veggies already and had begun cutting into her steak. It wasn't blood, but it would do for now.

Brand was plenty hungry, but he approached his own food with a bit more care. He was more consumed by trying to watch Khitti -- while simultaneously not looking like he was watching her at all. His eyes would dart to her and then away again to somewhere he could still spy her from his peripheral. “Not rightly sure where he got the tea drinkin’ thing from, to be honest. Certainly not from me. Probably someone in Catal or on the damned ship that I’ve since forgotten.”

It was only when Brand spoke up again that she realized she had gotten through a good portion of her meal in minutes. "Oh..." was said to herself more than him, as if she'd told herself 'you idiot, slow down'. She coughed awkwardly, and turned her attention then to her hot cocoa, sipping it slowly. "Vherever he picked it up from, it suits him," she said offhandedly as she studied the geometric designs on the cup in her hands. She hadn't looked at him in quite awhile, though she could feel his eyes on her occasionally. He was likely marvelling over her horrendous eating habits. She never had been much of a lady, even when she was really young, for that was Lydia's territory. Fancy dresses and ribbons and etiquette befitting royalty. She just wasn't fit for it all...and now she started to wonder how that woman from Brand's past had been, the new train of thought bringing a faint frown to the surface.

Brand worked through his food at that same even pace, letting the silence extend between them. He went from pretending to look at all the teas on the far table to pretending to be very interested in the various knick knacks on top of the dresser and even, at one point, raising his line of sight to the ceiling. Finally, at long last, when he’d made it about halfway through everything that wasn’t the steak (that one, he stood no chance of getting even that far through), he looked at her directly and ceased trying to dodge it. “So. Is this the part where we address the giant tap dancin’ elephant in the room?”

Khitti nearly choked on her cocoa when he spoke, her line of sight finally fixating on him. She didn't say anything for quite some time, instead trying to process what, out of all the many issues there'd been of late, that he could be referring to. And, my god, there was a list. Khitti von Schreier with nothing to say? Nothing at all? This was new. Usually, it was Brand that was the silent one. She always wanted to talk about -something-. Khitti pulled her cup back to her lips, intent on finishing the rest, but stopped just before she could to give him a very apathetic "No", and then continued with the drinking of the cocoa. Whatever the topic was, it was bound to be either infuriating or agonizing, neither of which she wanted to deal with at the moment. The drink is finished, and then set on the table before she looks at him again, "Zhis is vhy I gave you zhe option of being by yourself. In case I vas going to make you uncomfortable...as usual."

Brand tilted his head at her, giving her a very Dominic look of intrigue. He probably would have adjusted, if he’d realized that’s what he was doing. “I’m not uncomfortable.” In fact, she really didn’t make him uncomfortable as often as she seemed to think she did. Well, -uncomfortable- certainly wasn’t the right word, anyway. “But you sure as frak seem to be.”

Khitti looked down at the table, and then back up at him, and then looked towards the fire for a moment. "I don't know vhat I am right now." That signature frown of hers would make itself known again, and those green eyes that were so similar to his would fixate on him again. "I don't know vhat you expect me to say. Or do. Zhis is...burdensome. Perhaps not to you, but it is to me. Pilar. Us. Dominic and I." Her words were very matter-of-fact, and maybe just a bit too stern. "I zhink it's better for me to not speak of it. Any of it. Especially vith you, because you never seem to hold our conversations about zhings like zhis in high regard anyway, and I'm certainly not about to bring it up to Dominic again. I'm sure zhe situation is trying enough as it is for him, and I'm not going to put zhat on him. Zhis stress is my burden to bear." She goes to take another small bite of steak, though pauses again before she can, just like she had before with the drink, "And, for zhe sake of my sanity, don't lecture me. Don't make me out to be some 'gorram idiot' as you'd say. I'm just..." For a brief second, her bottom lip trembles a little, but she shakes her head and finally takes the bite.

“What does Pilar have to do with you and I?” Brand’s response still possessed that same cool, emotionless veneer of all his previous statements, but there was a minute twitching of a brow that perhaps gave away some of the agitation lying beneath. “...Or are we talkin’ about two totally different things right now?” That possibility had only hit him after he’d already opened his big mouth, of course. Maybe she’d meant that her distress over Pilar was making Brand uncomfortable -- but Brand had assumed her discomfort was from those drunken events a few nights ago.

Khitti sighed heavily as she slipped from her seat, leaving her plate sitting there for now. It always felt so hard talking to him, and now was no different. "Zhey are separate issues, but nevertheless, it's everything. Everything's all layered one top of each other like some type of awful cake zhat void poison a man if it vere devoured. It's been a nonstop struggle since I got back. It's a poor choice of vords, but I can't seem to catch my breath." Standing in front of the fireplace again, she'd agitatedly summon up the tiniest of fireballs on the end of her middle finger, then flick it into the flames, watching as they spark and returned to normal before doing it over and over again. "Zhe other night...I cannot for zhe unlife of me make up my mind on vhether or not it vas a mistake. I feel as if I'm no better zhan Daermon vith his little curse zhat attracted him to vomen." She casts glances towards Brand, her own brows furrowing now, "You are not zhe only one vith an unfortunate love life, you know. And I am nothing but a hypocrite now." Her mouth remains open, as if she were going to speak more, but she presses her lips into a thin line instead and chose silence once again.

“ ‘Curse’? Bah.” Brand had heard enough of those stories to more or less piece things together, albeit mostly through Dominic. His distaste was muted, but certainly visible. Brand didn’t believe in curses, and certainly not suspiciously convenient ones. “C’mon, peach, you know you’re nothin’ like that.” But… that was all the comfort she’d get from him. He buried himself in his hot chocolate, his own gaze turned pensive.

Khitti practically almost read his mind, throwing her hands into the air, but not before pitching a much larger ball of fire into the hearth, "Don't you zhink I know zhat now?!" Now she was the one to seethe, the nostrils on her somewhat dainty nose flaring a bit. "I vas practically fresh of zhe boat. I knew -nothing- of magic besides vhat Amarrah had told me of her own. Curses? Yeah. Sure. Wunderbar. Zhey -totally- exist." Her words were dripping with sarcasm. And then she noticed that look on his face. An irritated scoff leaves her throat and another fireball leaves her hand. "Once he turned me into a vampire, I vas no longer special. A companion, yes, but I vas no longer useful to him. Except in zhe only vay I could be." More flames grew in her palm, and this time, she didn't throw it away. This time, she let it grow, and grow until it surpassed her wrist. The surface pain of her skin burning beneath the fire paled in comparison to those stirred up emotions. "And zhat look of yours isn't exactly convincing me zhat you mean zhat. Zhis situation may be different, somewhat, but it's still zhe same. I che--" She couldn't say the word. Couldn't do it at all...and the fire only grew larger the more she dwelled on it.

“Didn’t mean it like it was your fault. You got taken advantage of.” Brand’s words were barely audible over the crackling of the flames, and it was the only protest he gave as she continued to rant despite it. He was preoccupied with Khitti’s words more so than her actions, and so it was only when he smelled the burning of flesh that he snapped to attention. He shot up from the table, his mug clattering and almost toppling from the sudden movement, and cast a hand forward towards hers. Rapidly her arm iced over in a centimeter-thick film from the tips of her fingers down to the elbow, preventing movement and snuffing out her flame from its source. Water and fire would battle in the air before her until the rest of it was doused, too. Brand slammed his other hand, now a fist, onto the table and dashed around it until he stood between Khitti and the fireplace. “I’ll freeze your gorram tongue if you so much as breathe another word against yourself. Test me, I frakkin’ dare you.”

Khitti tensed the muscles in her arm, trying to break free of his ice's hold. "Let. Me. Go." Her other hand twitched eagerly, wanting so much to summon more of those purple flames, to piss him off more. "Vhat zhe hell do you care?! You don't have zhis hanging over your head! Brand gets to do vhatever zhe hell he vants because he can shove Dominic to zhe forefront and make him deal vith his problems! Brand doesn't have to deal vith zhe repercussions because he's not zhe one in a relationship. Brand gets to close himself off vhenever he vants and doesn't ever have talk to his gods damned headmate! Brand gets to live in his nice little bubble vhile Khitti has to deal vith every gods damned problem in zhe vorld and she's not even allowed to be angry or sad about it and it just gets shoved to zhe side like it doesn't matter!" She calms a little once all of that's finally out, her anger bursting out like magma from a volcano. There was instant regret though written on her face, and she braced herself for whatever was coming, whether he left or decided to finally hit her for once. "I can't anymore. My head's going to split in two. Zhe memories are getting worse day by day. Zhey're always zhere vhen I'm sleeping. Now it's zhere vhen I'm awake. I'm going to go mad if something doesn't give."

Brand was already walking away as the bulk of her rage dissipated -- though rather than walking towards the door as she perhaps expected, he’d crossed to the window overlooking the front of the tavern. The icy hold on Khitti faded, but he didn’t look back at her as she continued speaking, instead merely staring out into the beyond with his hands clasped tensely behind his back. “So quit beatin’ yourself up and -do- something about it,” he growled when she’d finished, never once turning back to her. “Get out there and bust up some brigands. Read more to take your mind off it. Hell, get drunk off some folks at the gorram Destrier again. But don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself an’ dwellin’ on it, that’s just wasted time.” The rest of it, the first things she said, wouldn’t even be dignified with a response. Him not acknowledging it was the best outcome she could hope for, really, else it’d probably be a lot longer before they could even so much as pretend to be friends again.

Khitti just stared at the floor as he talked, then sat down on the edge of the bed, never once looking up at him. She felt empty again now that the rage had gone. Empty and alone. It didn't matter that he was right there. That Dominic could be there the moment she asked. "I've tried. Vhere do you zhink I'm at vhen you're off drinking?" Her voice was barely a whisper, loud enough at least for him to hear. She wanted to apologize for the things she'd just said, but would it even matter? Finally, she looked up, first at the window, then to him, then back again. Suddenly, there'd be a faint bit of movement behind him, and he'd be wrapped up in his coat, and then he was falling out the window? "Ve're leaving. Because reasons." No, Khitti had ahold of him, carrying him just like he absolutely loved to be carried, as she leaped from the window and down into the snow. She'd cross to the other side of the pathway with him, then set him down nicely, leaving his coat hanging off his shoulders.

Brand blinked and found himself outside. “What the actual gorram frakkin’ hell.” He looked down at himself, then to her. “You wanna at least give me some warnin’ first? Didn’t even get to finish that food.” Already, he was marching back towards the tavern.

Khitti quickly stepped forward and grabbed his hand and tried to spin him about like they were in some sort of snow dance, as the white flakes fell around them as they often did in Frostmaw. "No. It'll still be zhere vhen you get back." If he refused and continued plodding on away from her, she'd pick up a snow ball and pelt it right at the back of his head.

Brand didn’t quite get so far that she’d lob snowballs at him, though he did take a few steps that way and stuff his hands into his coat pockets so they’d be a bit more… dance-resistant. He peeked at her from over his shoulder as he faced the tavern once more. “That depends. How long do you intend to be out here?”

Khitti sighed as he continued on a bit, then shook her head, "Not forever. I just couldn't stay zhere anymore." She sighed, then shrugged at him, "Go if you must. I always forget how cold it is out here, I guess." Without another word, she tips back and falls into the freshly formed snow pile behind her, a flurry of snow flying up around her.

Brand shrugged. “S’long as the food’s still good, it can wait.” Slow steps took him to Khitti’s feet, whereupon he nudged at her foot with his. “You wanna tell me what you meant by what you said earlier? ‘Bout the memories?”

Khitti would lift her head just a little to look at him for a moment before laying back down again. "Zhere vas my zhings zhat happened after you lot left zhe cave. Ayras, our lovely jarmate grabbed me and saved me from Raiez. Zhat's how she took Amarrah. It vas her arm I zhink. Something about zhat metal." Her face scrunched up a bit, trying to stave off the thoughts that wanted to rush back to her. "She vas enveloped in dark energy and her memories became mine by vay of Amarrah." Whatever emotion had been on her face is wiped away. "I've seen it. Everything. All of it. Zhey von't go away."

Brand nudged her foot one more time, likely trying to get her to sit up and out of the snow again. “Well, what I said still applies. S’not gonna get any better sittin’ around feelin’ sorry for yourself. You’ve gotta move faster’n it. You gotta run til it goes away. It catches up, you run again.” Brand was somewhat of an authority on the matter of burying memories. Never mind that he probably didn’t have the healthiest way, it was at the very least mostly effective.

Khitti let out a sigh as he nudged her again, a light kick given back in response. "Don't you ever get tired of running? Because I am, and I've only just started again. I much prefer zhings to be slowed down, but only if everything and everyone else has slowed down vith me." She'd sit up finally, and then stands, only a foot or so away from him. "But, I guess zhat is not to be," she said with another sigh. For a brief second, she had that look about her that one often does when they're about to show some sort of affection towards the person they love, but it's soon gone and she steps past him with indifference and goes to head back inside. "Come on. Before death catches up to you in all of your running. I von't have your blood on my hands too."

“We literally -just- got out here,” said Brand, flabbergasted. “So, what, headin’ back in is only a good idea when it's yours?” He shook his head, but followed her despite his protests. “And anyway, it doesn't -have- to be runnin’. In any sense of the word. You jus’ gotta stay busy. Busier than it. You outpace it mentally, don't give it space in your head.” Yeah, Brand. You've sure been doing a good job in regards to a certain prior lover.

The redhead stopped in the middle of the path, throwing her hands up in the air. "I vas going in because you kept kicking me. Because you're so eager to get back to your food." People passed by them, giving Khitti odd glances as usual, to which she gifted them with an obnoxious look on her face, her tongue poking out at them as she pulled somewhat at the skin beneath her right eye. "Sometimes you're as bad as a voman. Or a cat. I never know vhat you vant. Vhen you vant it." She breathed an absurdly long, heavy sigh. "And, I know vhat you meant about zhe running. It's just...am I supposed to do zhat vith -everything-?" She paused. "Vith you...?" Another pause. "I just need to know vhat -zhis- is." She flails her arms about a little, motioning to the empty space between them. "I figure it's nothing. Probably a whole lot of nothing and zhe other night likely didn't mean anything...but I'm just tired of zhe unknown. I just vent zhrough months of it." She sighs, her hands raising to rub at her temples. "I'm sorry. My head is all over zhe place today. G-go eat your dinner before it's ruined anymore..."

Brand slowed to a halt long enough to fix Khitti with a sidelong stare and a shrug. “I wasn’t terribly under the impression you -wanted- it to be anything. Not with how you’ve been since.” The steps resumed, carrying him past her and to the door of the tavern. “But yeah, ‘all over the place’ sounds like a gorram understatement.” He held open the door and turned back to Khitti expectantly, intending to follow behind her.

Khitti narrowed her eyes at Brand at that last remark of his, her lips twisting into a smirk. "You've known me for a decent enough amount of time...do you really expect anything less from me?" She bats her eyes at him in the most clearly not so innocent sort of way before slipping past him and heading back into the building. She wouldn't comment on the rest of the conversation until they were back inside the room, and her hand outstretched to take his coat once she's kicked off her boots, "...Do -you- vant it to be anything...?" She pauses for a moment, her head tilted slightly to the side. "I guess zhat's vhat concerns me most. You don't exactly talk about zhat sort of zhing...and even if zhat link still held from zhe other night still held, I'm not about to pry into your head for it. I'm not at all like zhat."

Brand looked from her to the coat, and from the coat to the window. What -did- he want? Her, obviously, if his drunk mind was any indication of his sober mind. He crossed back to the bourbon and poured himself a glass -- for clarity, he reasoned -- before returning to his food upon the table. “You don’t seem to have an answer for that for yourself,” he said between bites. “Just a minute ago you were busy callin’ yourself a hypocrite, burnin’ your own flesh for it. ‘Couldn’t decide if it was a mistake or not,’ you said, while clearly actin’ like it was.” He paused, chewing, staring at her. “And -now- you wanna know what I think? I don’t think that weighs on you as much as you say it does.”

She opened her mouth to say something, but found herself without words again. Having all of this, all of her actions within just a short time presented to her, she sounded completely batty. Worse than that, perhaps. Well, she probably was. She supposed that dream of hers in the strange modern world with that equally strange, unfamiliar Brand hit the nail on the head. Did such a thing as medication to help her mind exist? It wasn't exactly something she'd ever looked into. Maybe there was magic instead. Now she wondered if she needed it. And then she wondered just how crazy Brand thought she might be and why he stuck around. After returning his coat to the closet, she'd take a seat on the edge of her side of the bed, eyeing the floor. That pensive look of hers was present again, her lips pressed thinly into a line, red brows furrowed somewhat in concern towards her own thoughts.

Brand said nothing. What else was there to say? What sense was there in sorting out his own feelings if she’d already decided things for them both? And this was probably for the better, anyway. He’d undoubtedly hurt her, same as all the rest. Same as Viera. He stabbed into the steak again. He wasn’t even hungry anymore, but dammit, it was something to do that wasn’t looking at her.

"Yes." was said after quite a long time of sitting in silence, her hands wringing together as she spoke calmly for the first time since she'd been back from dealing with Pilar. "I do vant to know vhat you zhink. And, I do vant it to be something more." She leaned over a bit towards her pillow, grabbing the white rabbit she'd been given by the younger vampiress, studying it carefully. "If zhat's not vhat you vant, zhen I von't press zhe matter...and certainly not vithout Dominic's consent. Not again." Her lips twisted into a bit of a frown, "I should not allow a past relationship to taint zhe present. Or a possible future. I vas--no I am--more concerned vith how people vill perceive -me-. Especially Pilar. I vas very much against Daermon being vith someone else, even zhough I allowed it to happen anyway, and she knows it. I zhink I stuck around more out of loneliness zhan anything really." Khitti idly messes with the rabbit's arms, making him fight again, musing to herself, "I could see vhy he chose her zhough. Aira. She vas zhe elf zhat helped Hildegarde during zhe var. Hangs around vith zhe giant feline Orikahn. She's much more zhan I can ever hope to be in every vay and I zhink zhat's vhat hurt me most." Another moment of silence passes, and then she finally looks towards Brand, "I'm really messed up in zhis head of mine right now, but I'm trying so hard. I'm not giving up. I just need help."

Brand set his fork down and traded it for the glass, draining it to mostly empty before he turned to peer at Khitti again. Hmm. Nope. This still wasn’t any easier. “I’m… gonna go with ‘yes,’ “ he said hesitantly, “full well knowin’ it’s all gonna end terribly. If that’s what you want.” The words pouring from his mouth were surprising even him. He’d gone in circles on the matter for how long now, months? “Still boggles my gorram mind the thought’s appealing to you, though. The kid seems far more your type.” He canted his head, and a smirk began to play on his lips. “But then, you pretty much said it yourself. You’re more’n a bit off-kilter.”

Khitti frowned a little at his agreeing with her on the topic of the state of her head. "If you're zhat hesitant about it, zhen don't say yes purely for my benefit. I'm not forcing anything onto you nor do I desire to." She stopped to gather her thoughts a moment, "But, I'm not trying to tell you to say no, either. And, I still honestly don't know how I feel about it. It goes against everything I know, how I vas raised. Zhat is my own problem to deal vith, zhough. It has nothing to do vith you at all. I do know, however..." Her frown worsens. "Zhat I care about zhe both of you so much."

Brand stood, glass in hand, and headed back to his side of the bed. His drink was topped off and he settled into place with his back up against the headboard. From here he was able to view her from the side and behind… the way that fiery red hair flowed down past her shoulders, the black dress that hugged her body, the pale hands toying with that stuffed rabbit of hers. He’d grown so used to her presence, it wasn’t often he paused to really take her in -- and certainly never while she was looking, even now. “That isn’t it. Guess I’m just a pessimist.” He took in more of the bourbon. “And frankly, I’ve never been with someone purely outta choice. There was always other motives. Gettin’ myself in the right spot for a kill, or for the information I needed.” He spoke without emotion. It wasn’t something to be burdened by, it just was. “What happens with the kid, if you an’ I go south?”

Khitti let out a chuckle, "Vouldn't zhat be quite zhe turn of events? You here to kill me. I almost vouldn't be surprised." She ran her fingers along the velvet ears of the rabbit, "Nothing vould happen to Dominic and I. You and I vould go our separate vays as much as possible." She shrugs, hugging the rabbit to herself as she leans over onto her side on the bed, still at it's edge. "Zhis has nothing to do vith him. I mean...it does, but not to zhat extent."

Brand gave her a serious stare. “As many times as I’ve had the opportunity, I’d’ve done it already if that was why I was around you. But from the perspective of a group like the Daggers, you’ve got no secrets of state worth teasin’ out and you’d not likely be a high profile political target for any other reason, ‘cept perhaps if they thought they could get ransom from Hildegarde -- but that wasn’t really their style. Idle hostages are too much trouble.” Geez. Brand could be every bit as overly severe as Dominic sometimes was. He seemed unaware of it, though; his mind had already gone down the rabbit hole of the hypothetical. He swirled his drink, glancing into it as if it somehow moved along his thought process before returning his gaze to Khitti. “It’s possible they’d be interested in your whole thing with the Shadow Plane, ‘specially now that you’re apparently able to call things from it. But kill you? Nah.”

"I did not mean to imply zhat zhey vould be zhe ones to give such orders. It vas meant as if zhey did not exist and you vere still in zhat line of vork. You know very little to nothing at all of vhat transpired at home before I came here. Of vhat could have happened, and every once in awhile, I vonder if it should have happened. Zhat zhought only occurs to me vhen all sorts of gloom and doom overwhelm my mind." With a sigh, she puts the rabbit on her pillow against the wall, but doesn't turn toward him at all. "Don't be so serious about it. It vasn't meant in zhat vay. It vas a trail of zhought zhat took an odd turn and nothing more."

Brand shrugged, regardless of the fact she wouldn’t see it. “You’re the one that brought it up.” The rabbit was eyed, but not touched. If Khitti were to turn, she’d see he looked a bit tempted, though. Although, knowing him, he’d more likely to throw it at her than actually play with it himself. “What are you even talking about now?”

"Nothing." Khitti did turn over finally and saw how he eyed her booplesnoot. She narrowed her eyes in suspicion at him of...well...anything really and quickly grabbed the stuffed animal, clinging to it in mock protection, a feigned look of shock written plainly on her face. "You vouldn't dare."

Brand broke into a fleeting grin. “Wouldn’t dare what? I’m not allowed to look at it? You jus’ have a stuffed rabbit show up one day outta nowhere and I can’t be curious?” Where Khitti feigned shock, Brand now feigned a terrible sadness. As if, after all the things that tried to reach his emotional core and did little or nothing, this was the thing that finally broke him.

Khitti sat up, curling her legs to the side in a sort of mermaid-like pose as she moved a little closer to Brand, the rabbit offered to him with faux reluctance. "It didn't just come out of nowhere. Zhe booplesnoot vas given to me by Pilar." Well, that explains why she's so attached to it. "You be careful vith it. I've sworn to not punch you anymore but I shall find other means of torture to punish you."

Brand’s grin returned, wider and for longer than before. “Yeah, no more punchin’. This pretty face needs to stay intact.” He stuck his tongue out at her before taking the rabbit and looking it over. “This happen when you did your shoppin’ trip? Hmm, still need another scarf to replace the one on Francis. Maybe I need to make my own trip.” He shook the rabbit from side to side before handing it back to her. “It’s not anatomically accurate.” That’s… not the point, Brand.

Her mouth opened to say something in regards to his 'pretty face', but she was far too distracted by that grin of his. It's not like she saw it often, especially with all the fighting they'd been doing of late. "Yes. She brought zhat and a slice of carrot cake zhat I unfortunately forgot about until it vas too late." She seemed rather upset about it, but then ultimately shrugged. It's not like anything could be done about it now. "It's just a toy. It doesn't have to be. You use your imagination and it can look like however you vant." Gawd, Brand. Geez. She'd take the rabbit back, and cling to it like a child as she falls over onto her pillow. "And, I guess you should. I'm sorry I ruined part of your present or at least couldn't afford a second one."

Brand snickered. “Nah, it’s not ruined. It just belongs to a spider now. A very… dog-like spider. Heh. Went to a good cause.” He leaned over her slightly now that she was lying back on her pillow, still grinning. “We oughta show Hildegarde sometime. What do you think she’d do? Y’think she’s afraid of spiders at all? Maybe you summon an army of ‘em and they fight for Frostmaw alongside the giants and the Eyrie. Imagine that.”

Khitti shook her head as she stared up at him, "I don't know. I don't really know anything at all about Hildegarde or her opinions on zhem." She lifts a hand off the bed, intent on touching his face, but she thinks better of it and instead pretends to be messing with the rabbit again, tossing it over onto the dresser. "I'd rather not summon an army of zhem. And, my place isn't to fight vith zhem anymore." A frown makes itself know again, "I suppose I should speak to her soon now zhat I'm back. About my job, zhat is."

Brand forged a frown of his own when she spoke of not fighting. “And why wouldn’t you fight? Just when you’ve gotten those spiffy new abilities an’ everything? You’re gonna let all that go to waste? Must be a pretty big job, to be worth all that.” He withdrew, back to his own side of the bed. “Pardon if I forgot what that all’s s’posed to be after everythin’ else that’s happened.”

"I mean...I don't know. Part of me is not so sure I vant zhis job now. I'm supposed to deal vith zhe undead in and near zhe forbidden city. I vas part of a deal between Hildegarde and Larewen Dragana in Vailkrin vhen I vas apart of her house. A bargaining chip of sorts for zheir stupid politics. A necromancer to rid Frostmaw of zheir problems in return for Hildegarde's promise to support Larewen's attempt at power in zhe dark city." She looks past him, squinting at the ceiling. "I vent along vith it because I vanted away from everything in Vailkrin." Her line of sight shifts back towards Brand, "Zhough, if I'd not done zhat, I'd likely not have met either of you. I'd still be shut away in zhat old, empty house."

“Vailkrin? You were livin’ there?” Brand’s frown only deepened. “That place isn’t right. Been there a few times. The air there makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up all funny. And the spiders. The gorram -spiders-. They have it in for me. You saw it.” Brand scratched thoughtfully on a stubbled cheek. “Maybe we sic Francis on ‘em someday, if there are any left. I’m pretty sure giant shadow spider beats giant regular spider, yeah?” A vision of epic spider battles danced before his eyes, and Brand found himself wondering if anyone in Lithrydel could make a saddle specifically to fit a cow-sized spider-dog.

"Larewen vas supposed to train me, but...zhat fell zhrough just like everything else did and does. And, it's full of dark magic, of course it's going to do zhat. I refuse to go zhere now. I guess unless Hildegarde commanded it anyway." After a bit of contemplation, she rolls over closer to him, resting her head on his chest. "You're...uh...really obsessed vith zhis spider zhing. I'm glad you enjoy my newfound magic, but I hope it doesn't skitter back around to bite me in zhe ass at some point." Khitti. The spider puns. Plzno. "And maybe Francis could beat zhem up, but he's also a bit of a doofus. At least around us, anyway. Vhat if zhe ones in Vailkrin are vorse? Better trained as hunters maybe. He could get hurt."

Brand froze. She was… er… welp. Okay. This is happening. Hesitantly, Brand wrapped an arm around her waist, looking all the while like he was afraid she might suddenly become one of those spiders and bite him. But of course she didn’t, and eventually he allowed himself to relax, if only by a smidgen. “Eh, he wouldn’t be alone. I was just thinkin’ he’s the perfect ridin’ size, if I could figure out how. Like fighting on horseback, but with twice the legs. Besides, just 'cause he was a bit silly with us doesn’t mean he can’t fight if it comes down to it. We don’t know a lot about the Shadow Plane but it doesn’t exactly seem a friendly place.”

Khitti felt him tense up, and was just about to move away from him, even going so far as to muttering half of an apology, until he put his arm around her. She considered doing the same with him, but ultimately decided that it would be best to ease into any sort of affection. She was still worried about him changing his mind about them after all. "Riding a spider? Now you sound like zhe crazy one." She tilted her head back just enough to chance a look up at his face, but it didn't linger long. "I need to practice properly controlling him first before you decide to zhrow a saddle on him or I start trying to summon a legion of his kind."

“What? Nonsense. Summon a whole gorram spider army. What’s the worst that could happen?” Brand looked down at her, serious. Very serious. It only lasted a short while before he couldn’t hold back the laugh that had been building any more. “Yeah, alright. I s’pose we need to see what he’s capable of first before I start chargin’ at people from atop him. Shame, though. Jus’ imagine how terrifying that’d be. Francis scuttling at someone like he does, an’ me on top throwin’ a million frakkin’ fireballs every which way. People’d run away before Francis could even be in any danger.” That hand around her waist was used to shake her slightly, so enthusiastic was he. “...Well. I guess it could be you, too, now that you have flames of your own.”

"No, no. You can have all zhat fiery glory to yourself." She peered up at him again as he shook her, stifling a grin. He looked so pleased and happy as he spoke of galloping about on Francis and lighting things and people on fire. Even if it was possibly temporary, it made her happy to see him in such an excited state that -wasn't- anger for once, and it caused a bit of butterflies in her stomach. "Brand...?" She'd lift her head off of his chest, scooting herself up a bit more so she could prop herself up on her arm and watch him. "Please...don't...set me on fire..." What sort of question is tha--oh. She's kissing him now. There'd been a bit of hesitation as she leaned over towards him, her lips hovering just above his, but ultimately she followed through with it. That show of affection didn't last very long, however, as she was soon pulling away from him seconds later and then whispering an apology.

Brand didn’t realize what she meant until it was already happening. Her lips pressed to his and then withdrew while the sparks were still flying behind his eyes and the breath was still catching in his lungs. “Hey. No frakkin’ apologies. I told you ‘yes,’ didn’t I?” Yet, there again was his own hesitation, those tendrils of the past and worries of the future keeping him hanging back. He lingered, wrestling with it, but after a time forged past it and rolled atop her with hungry kisses pressed along her neck and jawline.

Khitti wrapped an arm around him finally, her fingertips moving up and down his back carefully. "I just don't vant to screw anything up or upset you. I don't either of you to go away..." She nuzzles his head with the side of her face, a few kisses of her own pressed to his forehead and temple. "-He's-...okay vith us, right?" She paused for a moment. "And you promise -you- are...?

Brand rose up long enough to give Khitti a look of, “Really? You wanna talk about our gorram feelings -now-?” He, however, said nothing, certain he’d amply made his point wordlessly. The kissing resumed and began to trail down her neck as he played with the straps of her dress.

Khitti scrunched up her nose a bit at that look of his, her brows furrowing together as well. She almost apologized again, but thought better of it, choosing to keep silent. In an effort to keep from ruining the mood at all with her thoughts, she'd grab his chin gently with her thumb and index finger, guiding his face back up to hers so she could kiss him again.