Gambit:Shift Work

Public Toilets

Fine pots of various sizes, tailored for weights beyond comprehension and wrought of beautifully ornate porcelain-a more than durable, glass-like material that the dwarves somehow discovered, are evenly spaced out before you. Obviously though, the multiple 'toi'elles', as the elves who crafted the objects themselves call them, were not from the jagged womb of dwarven minds. Brass chains dangle down, oiled to a bronze make-up, and pulling upon one opens a trapdoor within the pipe, and opens multiple pores on the inner-rim, expelling a rush of steaming water to cleanse away defecation. Gold and white adorn this room and those around it, a very attractive scene for a room with a name that might not be so attractive.

Round One

 Arlyeon’s Roll: 17
Jaxson’s Roll: 18

Arlyeon is looking might presentable today- which tends to translate to as 'anyone except herself'. In this case, she was a tanned looking dwarf in a surprisingly pristine postal workers uniform (save for the dirt which had accrued near the bottom of the pants). It was in this guise that she was attending to her first errand of the day - namely, the delivery of a parcel to the local postal office, so it could be waved through customs or whatever other processes they may have. This has hardly anything to do with the job at hand, being more of a side errand that's been long overdue- but, it did bare doing, just in case she got herself exiled from Cenril. Not that there was anything overly twiggy about said parcel. There was a nice (forged) signature which showcased that it was an item from Nikolai's workshop, and the i's were dotted and t's crossed about it's designation as an ornamental sword due for the mayors office. All in all. Step one. Step -two- was actually related to the job at hand, since that entailed the foxkin veering down a series of alleys the first moment she could, so she could find an adequately clandestine location to find a trash mound and dive right in. It's an absolutely gross strategic decision, and yet- it makes a surprising amount of sense as her form ripples, and then reduces in sizes. Dwarf give ways to dwarfer, then dwarfest- and then there's finally just a black and red furred flying squirrel with a beard. ...Okay, actually, scratch the beard, that goes away too. Anyways- the point is, with the dwarfs outfit ditched in the trash, there's little indication Ina was ever there. And thus she began to scrabble. First it's up the wall, a deft series of hops that have her vault over windowsills, up along cracks on the wall, and finally up a drain pipe, all so she can begin to bound across the various rooftops towards Cenrils walls. Sure, the shapechanging trick had recently been foiled- but, she had a good feeling about today. After all, how hard could it be to spend the day tailing a pair of guards until they started moaning about who was replacing who. She was patient. Sometimes. Rarely. Maybe. (Money helped).

Jaxson Ravencroft has just about had it today with these new recruits! War is upon them and its all hands on deck and he finds these two numbskulls playing cards when they were supposed to be manning the walls? The first of this duo is a young fellow with bright red hair and freckles galore arranged in such a pattern you'd think he has a constant stain on his face, while his partner has darker brown hair and a chin strap trimmed beard that does not go well with his round features at all, nor does it do well to hide the neckbeard that lurks beneath it. These two have the Captain of the Guard just about to lose it at the moment, as this incident was the third time they've been reprimanded for such irresponsible actions while on duty that the sorcerer almost wants to throw them in the damn stockades! "Please sir, 'twas just a few hands of cards, nothin' was even happenin'!" Goes the red head, trying to plead their case, his comrade in arms backing him up with firm head nods that make the fat on his neck jiggle. Cenril's finest,yeah? Still, Jax knew one place he could put these two that even if they decided to just ignore their duties it would have little effect overall on matters. Walking them down alleyway after alleyway, Jax finally brings the men through the bathhouse and to their next duty station. "Gentlemen, welcome to your new post." He says, sternly looking the duo over before saying. "You're to guard and clean this area, vigorously, or the next place I take you will be the cells, you got it?" The tone of the Captain, the realization of their new duties (no pun intended) all sink in as reality comes crashing down on the two young guards. Jax ponders on his thoughts a moment before he says. " You know what? I'll stay here a bit to make sure you do your damn jobs, how about that?" Treating them like children only adds to the insult and injury of their punishment, and Jax takes to watching as they go about cleaning the public toilets. Time goes by rather fast during their initial comb through of this oft used public locale, and its not long before ole chin strap bearded Billy, yeah lets call him Billy, has a bucket full of absolute waste that he takes to empty out, leaving Reilly, the red headed card shark himself, to deal with making sure the area is secured, only to fall back on his old habits of flaking off on his duties and looking for a spot to unwind after another ass chewing. "Stupid, got us out here doing this kinda work! Ain't nothing even going on!" And in his frustrations the fired up troublemaker kicks a loose shingle that results in a cascade of others rapidly falling just as a squirrel would leap across to try to land safely, possibly resulting in the creature falling down to the very spot ole Billy just dumb out a large bucket of human organic waste. Poor squirrel.

Round Two

Arlyeon’s Roll: 14 (Total: 31)
Jaxson’s Roll: 9 (Total: 27)

Arlyeon is, much to the detriment of countless strangers and more than a few former friends, rather lucky. It's for that reason that she counts her blessings when she first catches the sound of Jaxson dressing down the pair of guards. It was the sort of serendipity that Ina was all too familiar with, as she coasted through life- so she didn't hesitate for a second to follow through on pursuing it. That said, while opportunity had certainly knocked- there was a wrinkle to this whole endeavour. Namely, Jaxson himself. Sure, she'd heard his voice, but it wasn't until she'd caught a glimpse of him that it really dawned on her -who- he was. The tourney had done a more than adequate job of signalling how dangerous the guy was, and did a more than adequate job of coaxing her to take a more clandestine approach. Or rather, what she had -hoped- would be clandestine, but instead turns into an absolute disaster as she gets clonked in her furry little belly by a ceramic tile while midflight. She's so light that her body spirals head over heels in the air for a moment, one wing collapsing beneath her, the other haphazardly catching a draft and sending her into a drifting spiral towards the fresh feces which lay steaming beneath her. Dazed, and now more than a little nauseous, Ina's little paws wriggle through the air- as though she were a swimmer competing in the olympics. And it works. Not because she's spontaneously convinced herself how to defy reality in some great act of self-delusion, but more because she had somehow deluded herself into thinking flailing was a safe avenue. And considering she has now acquired herself a fistful of an ugly little critter clinging to the underside of the roof, which looked like a decaying simian, and smelled like one too. ...Well. This wasn't ideal. She smiles, awkwardly (and in a manner which is more than a bit uncanny coming from a squirrel- even as it's head tilts towards her, and lets out a low but shrill, "Do it." As one of it's hands reaches towards her position, it's all she can do to slide a bit further down it's body, narrowly escaping its's grasp to finda purchase on its legs- eliciting another annoyed 'Do it'. This cartoonish display continues in this manner, Squirrel ina being a pest- and a constant call of 'Do It' ringing out in the air for Reilly to hear- perhaps enticing him to compound his bad decisions.

Jaxson hears the crash as the shingles fall from the roof to shatter and send shards of the remnants to mesh with the fresh pile of feces to create an even larger mess than there was before. He'd swear he hears a vein burst if anyone asks him about it later, but the Guard Captain manages to keep his calm even though he wants nothing more than to absolutely wreck these two imbeciles! "I swear to Sven and all the Gods in entirety... Private Reilly!!" He calls out to the man he knows is responsible. "Get your ass down here now!" Comes the bellowing command that almost drowns out the shrill of the pest that now torments the red headed man child, who knows he is in for it anyways. Looking back at the chaos he just caused already, the dread of facing Lord Ravencroft's ire, and the pestering of a s***e covered squirrel all compound to assuredly make ole Reilly do something stupid, again. As if his first kick was not enough, the youngster decides that before he goes to get his ass chewing, he'd let the pestering rodent know who is boss, by yet again trying to kick something! The poor sod's luck is just non existent as he loses his footing on the now tileless roof, whiffs the kick right over the feces covered squirrel, and plummets down off the elevated platform with a high pitched scream/curse combo that causes his buddy neckbeard Billy to come looking, only to serve as cushion for his friend to land on. Chaos, pure chaos that is seemlessly disguised as pure coincidence, most def not the work of a foxkin, aye? Leaving Jaxson to look on as two of those under his command now lay crumpled upon the fecal covered floor in a heap. "By the gods... help me." says the nobleman under his breath, as he looks over and tells the duo. "Get up you idiots!"

Round Three

Arlyeon’s Roll: 11 (Total: 42)
Jaxson’s Roll: 11 (Total: 38)

Arlyeon is going to need a bath. In the lava spring underneath Lan's castle. There's so much wrong with today, -least- of which is her clinging to the ass-end of a Cenrilian devil. Not that she can do more than compound her misery by remaining latched onto her mucusy mount, even as it bucks and brays. The status quo, in this case- seems to amount to waiting on the calamitys she's causing, and hope that Jaxsons patience completely evaporates, before her dignity degenerates past a point she's willing to tolerate. ...Which is a surprisingly near thing, given the scraggly simian thing proceeds to belch angrily in her direction. The fox-turned-squirrel s' vision swims, and for a brief moment, her claws release from its skin- her body beginning to peel away from its' flesh and set her sliding down towards the wonder twins below. But then Jaxsons' cry cuts through the air and she remembers herself, her little squirrely claws stretching out in a desperate display of defiance- burying themselves into the first bit of flesh that yields itself. Which, in this case- happens to be the scavengers testicles. No doubt, some aspiring zoologist is kicking themselves at the subconscious awareness that they've missed out on a rare expression of a devils' 'Do it' - the sound coming out in a strangled high pitch, before dropping into a gurgling warble which accompanies its' own sliding descent down the wall. Ina, for her part, immediately releases her error, and, after a moment spent gagging in repulsion- kicks off the creature properly, so she can glide to the other side of the alley for a nice crack on the wall to cling to. At this point, she's just hoping to see if one of these guys will whinge about a shift or few they plan on derelicting to make this disaster worthwhile. (Would it be worthwhile? The jurys out.)

Jaxson almost doesn't know what to do, its chaos incarnate at the public toilets, and the realization that he signed up to do ths job sets in. He could be at the shop, minding his own business free of dealing with this, but nope! He had to become captain of the guard, didn't he? He is starting to wonder if the Red Witch put some hex on him or something, because he makes some rather questionable decisions to try to make her happy. Nah, he knows its love, and he loves the hell outa that woman. So, with that the man makes his way over to try to help his two idiots up, only to be pulled down by Billy, who slips on a broken piece of roof tile and pulls the man forward, causing Jaxson to tumble about. In this moment a scroll falls off his belt due to the force of it all, with the sorcerer not noticing as his full attention was not to allow himself to fall into the mess that is below his feet. The scroll falls and bounces back towards the ally the squirrel just darted down, the only witness to this absolute atrocity of events for Cenril's Finest today. Catching his balance, the Ravencroft heir steadies himself and finds his footing, stepping over the two privates with a "I'm over it" expression as he says. "Clean it up by the time I get back, or Gods help you both!" And he'd start to walk back, only to feel as if he is forgetting something, causing him to pause for a moment.

Round Four - Winner: Arlyeon

Arlyeon’s Roll: 9 (Total: 51)
Jaxson’s Roll: 9 (Total: 47)

Arlyeon might be tired, anxious, and probably smellier than a charnel pit in Trist'oth, but she still has enough presence of mind to take notice of that scroll that had rolled away. Before Jaxson can think twice or recover, Ina flings herself off from the wall, and glides down towards what she can safely assume is her prize. Really, she's a wretched sight- small bits of dried excrement flaking off her limbs like some sort of muck moth, but she's defiant to the last, because despite everything? The odds are still in her favour. Goodnight, Cenril, thanks for playing. Ina has left the building. Alley. Whateva'. Now to upsell this to Macon because that chump had lost a bridge, and needed every advantage he could get. Because Capitalism.