User talk:Valentin

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I stab broken links. *stab* Now it's not broken! -- The Pretty Elfboi

Val and Tene:

Val and Tene go up hills a-plenty
to fetch themselves lotsa ghouls
When they're not around, whispers in their ghost town
Say sideburns are out of fashion; how cruel!
Kuzial (talk) 02:28, 4 April 2013 (UTC)




Val the Butcher (Sung to the tune of Hallelujah)

I've heard there is a secret song
That Tene played, and it pleased Leifong
But you think they're all Cenril Bankers, don't you?
It went like that
With a bowler's hat
Cockney slang and a butcher's wrap
A Cenril song composed for Val the Butcher

Val the Butcher... Val the Butcher
Val the Butcher... Val the buuutcheer

Your mutton chops're strong, but you needed more
You sell wyvern meat to stop being poor
but the gravewyrms in your shop are always grumbling
You wanted to feed them lots of food
But your boss is scared they will eat her too
And so she yells from the streets of Vailkrin, Val the Butcher

Val the Butcher... Val the Butcher
Val the Butcher... Val the Buuuutcheeer

Oh bearded man, I've been here before
I know this shop, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
What's down this hall, beneath the shop
What is that noise, you're pushing me, stop
This is how he feeds them, oh Val the Butcher

Val the Butcher, Val the Butcher
Val the Butcher, Val the Buuuutcheeer

So at last he finally let Tene know
The truth of what's going on below
But you promised you will never push her, didn't ya?
Oh, I remember when you used to be tough
With gruff beards and scary shadowey stuff
But now you've turned into a vegetarian, Val the butcher

Val the Butcher, Val the Butcher
Val the Butcher, Val the Buuutcheeer


Sands of Cenril's shores

(To the tune of The Banks of Claudy)

'Twas on a cold and bitter morning
there was a young drow noble
And down by the beach of Cenril
Valentin carelessly did stroll

He overheard a death cry,
someone horribly complainin'
So he jumped on down to see
if there was any meat remainin'

He boldly stepped on to the sand,
he was taken by suprise
For he didn't recognize Kuzial
dressed in such good disguise

“Where you be goin', pretty elf,
ye'such a warm delight
Why do'ya wander by the beach”,
(He'd missed the bloody sight)

“If you're on the way to Cenril's shops,
the way there I can show
Take pity on this butcher,
for with you he wants to go

It's been so long since I had a date,”
He said while they walked to the street
"But me cleaver's still sharp I promise 'ye, elf,
oh, you are so sweet"

'twas not 'til a dark alley
that Val fell into despair
For the wig was pulled off by Kuzial,
showing his white hair

“It's you,” he screamed while grabbing his heart
as if it had been stabbed
“It's me,” said Kuzial grinning so cruel
no dagger needed to be grabbed

“I'd kill you, Mr Vampire,
but you're better left alive
For this story will be told,
it'll haunt you 'till you grave.”

“I'll shave my mutton chops to keep this quiet
such suffering shouldn't bring joy”
But Kuzial refused with a laugh and the words
“Remind me again how I'm a Pretty Elfboi.”