User talk:Rowen
Funny board posts
The note is very crumpled and covered with bits of cheese, it was handed to Mesthak by Jake as the rat as gone to ground.* My dearly beloved subjects. I know you will all be deeply shocked to hear that there is one who threatens the life of your wise and benevolent ruler. Sadly however, this is the case. Vuryal has put a price on my head, I'm still trying to wash the ink off my face. It gives me great sorrow to announce that I must avoid all unnecessary public engagements for the present. I know that my incredibly loyal people shall weep oceans at my absence, but it is the only ethical choice I can make, given the unthinkable consequences for the entire universe should I be unable to protect it. - Rowen Stronghammer, Supreme Empress of the known universe. --Rowen (August 25th, 11:27 PM) 2011
As I said I would, so have I done. Yet again I have proved the worth of my words, for Cornelius Von Penzance has been killed by me in the dark streets of Vailkrin. Unlike most of you pathetic idiots, he at least had the balls to fight me. Not that it did him much good against the drow. He was torn in half, and I enjoyed every damn moment of it. If you have a problem with this, foolish surface dwellers, I am not that hard to find. Come to me, and I'll bury you as well. -Kuzial Stavret, Patron of House Stavret --Kuzial (August 27th, 11:03 PM) 2011
One of the balls dear Cornelius had was my Blessed Hamsterball, a sign of his empress' deep affection and favor. - Rowen Stronghammer, Supreme Empress of the Entire Known Universe. --Rowen (August 28th, 4:45 AM) 2011
- An Imperial Proclamation on beautiful gilt edged card* I Rowen Stronghammer, Supreme Empress of the known universe, do hereby declare an official period of joyous celebration in honour of my recent marriage to my beloved Bob. The celebration throughout the entire universe will last for one thousand years. During this festive period the following by-laws shall be enforced. 1. All citizens of the universe -must- wear flowers in their hair at all times. Persons from worlds with no flowering plants may substitute colourful birds, squid or sentient clouds of gas. Persons with no hair must wear such decorations on their head or heads. 2. All citizens -must- purchase tacky commerative Royal Wedding plates, mugs, bowls etc and use them at every meal. Persons who do not eat must still purchase these items. 3. All citizens of the universe -must- be euphorically happy at all times. - By order of the Supreme Empress, Rowen Stronghammer
--Rowen (September 26th, 11:51 PM)
As a further celebration of my joyous marriage, I am creating the honourable post of Imperial poet Laureate. This honour comes with a gift from your empress of a 'thinking cap' and a crate of wine. The duties of the poet Laureate involve praising the beloved empress and speaking in rhyme at all times whilst holding the position. Each Poet Laureate will hold the title for one hour, the empress may choose to extend this period for and exceptional poetic genius. She may also in certain circumstances give the title once more to one who has already served their hour of fame. - Rowen Stromghammer Supreme empress of the known universe. --Rowen (September 27th, 7:36 AM)
Seeking legal advice on what I believe is an illegal wedding. - Tiphin --Tiphin (September 28th, 11:04 AM)
Now on sale, a full range of beautiful collectors items to celebrate the wedding of our beloved benevolent supreme empress. These finest quality wares include Plates, bowls, spoons, mugs, chamber pots, wart cream, false teeth and the much sought after Royal Wedding Commemorative Rat Poison. - The official merchant of the millennium of Royal Wedding celebrations. --Rowen (September 28th, 8:37 PM)
I Rowen Stronghammer Supreme Empress of the entire known universe have tired of my consort Bob. I hereby declared our marriage to be annulled, this day the third of October. I was foolish to dream that any humble wretched human could possibly be a fit consort for your wonderful benevolent rodent supreme empress. I am after all many times more intelligent, and more beautiful than any other being who ever lived. I wish Bob well in his wretched humble human life and shall pay him a pension of 2 pieces of copper per month that he may live in the style to which he has become accustomed. The millenium of celebrations in honour of the royal wedding, and the by-laws in force for the duration of the festive period shall remain unaltered. - Your dearly beloved supreme empress -Rowen Stronghammer.
An Imperial Proclamation on finest black-bordered parchment.* I Rowen Stronghammer, Supreme Empress of the Entire Known Universe do hereby declare an official month long period of mourning, throughout the universe. This is in honour of my dearly beloved friend, my completely loyal subject, my infinitely wise counsellor, the best dressed man in all history, Cornelius Von Penzance. - Empress Rowen. (August 28th, 4:59 AM)
Funny rps quotes
In this RP, sato's got a dead shark with her (it was a failed gift for Kirien). It's been hung over her shoulder and falling apart while everyone talked. >> Satoshi abruptly wanders off without explanation, farewell, or even a drawing of attention to her, because that's simply what Satoshi's do. Especially Satoshi's with sudden urges to experiment on shark corpses...
Satoshi feels, ever so slightly, like Rowen.
Mahri thinks Satoshi must be Rowen in disguise.
Satoshi squeaks.
Awne makes some kind of entrance her player doesn't really feel like typing out and takes a seat at an empty table, orders a cup of hot tea and just kinda..people watches.
Funny ooc comments
Ignatius said OOC, "Satoshi, can I have one of your shoes?"
Satoshi said OOC, "No :<"
Ignatius said OOC, "Okay, then I will settle for a position of political influence in Frostmaw."
Satoshi said OOC, "That works."
Ignatius said OOC, "And that, everyone, is how you negotiate with Satie."
Ranok said "I'd like to live in Rowen's world for five minutes. I don't think I'd get anything done, but I don't think I'd care."
Ranok said OOC, "You can have Rowen, though. He isn't worried about her being kidnapped. Any would be kidnappers will be subject to her 'decrees' and she'll either be given back in short order or pampered. Either way she'll be fine. :D"
Mahri said OOC, "Heh, I can see it now. Row gets kidnapped and the kidnappers offer to pay someone to come pick her up."
Kirien said OOC, "yes please to not be hurting the fox. i think he's too smart to kidnap Rowen anyway. >>; she'd bother him about rear mirrors.." Mahri said OOC, "Hahaha! " You said OOC, "She so would Kiri *huggles*"
You said OOC, "Orikahn! There is a bounty on Rowen rat's head. She'll have to hide in a rat hole <3" Orikahn said OOC, "Who in their right (or wrong) mind would put a bounty on Rowen?"
From Satoshi's bio Rowen, one of the few creatures in existence that can honestly baffle Satoshi, and the only rat she's too scared to eat!
Veriun said OOC, "Now to carve stuff in unbreakable glass. Curse cornelius for the impossible things he always forced me to do... even dead!"
You said OOC, "I am sure the little rat empress will be most grateful for you making her hamsterball into a memorial to the best dressed man of all time. <3"
Valentin said OOC, "Wait, there was a time when Rowen -wasn't- a rat? Blasphemy! o.O"
ooc commments hamsterball memorial
Satoshi said OOC, "Is she talking to the coat rack?!"
Tysinni said OOC, "Lol. That's awesome. "
Veriun said OOC, "Hahaha! That would be amazing! Why hasn't Rowen done that yet!?"
You said OOC, "Naw Sato The shapeshifter Ordox has become Corny-formed in Kelay Tavern.....I'll rp her talking to the coat rack later, of course."
You said OOC, "Cos the brilliant Sato cat only just now gave me the idea Veriun *huggles*"
Mean while IC ....You nods and cleans her whiskers, "But of course my dear chap, but of course. I can think of no finer use to which to put imperial funds. I am sure every taxpayer would be extremely honoured toknow that they have contributed to you maintaining you unique and elegant syle." She scrabbles around on the table top until she finds something to write upon. The back of an advertisment for a miracle new treatment for piles. The tiny empress writes a short note. "To the Imperial Chancellor of the Exchequer. Please provide a small stipend of five million pieces of gold per day to my loyal coatrack, Cornelius Von Penzance, currently residing in the Hanging Corpse Tavern Vailkrin.' The rat looks at the 'Corny-formed' Ordox concern in her face. "Do you think five million a day will be enough my dear?"
Tysinni said OOC, "I wish I had the funding Rowen thinks she has."
You said OOC, "So do we all Ty..her actual gold is a mere...2976 gold
Kasyr said OOC, "8.4 k here"
Satoshi said OOC, "Where'd all that gold I gave you go? D="
Valentin said OOC, "Vampire wenches and laudanum laced bloodwine, I suspect, Satie"
ooc comments First Rate Child care
Tysinni said OOC, "And now Ranok gave her some kid that he and Cornelius had saved. What is a homeless thief gonna do with a child?"
You said OOC, "Send him/her up chimneys to clean them Ty? They tend to die after a few years of that, solves the problem, of what to do with them"
Jolie said OOC, "This is why I love you, Rowen."
Jolie said OOC, "Row and Skavlor should so get it on."
You said OOC, "*laughs* rodent romance <3"
Tysinni said OOC, "That's too funny. I guess this means Ty has an apprentice. *shakes fist* All Corny's fault!"
ooc Comments It's All Corny's fault.
You said OOC, "I am beginning to suspect that absolutely everything is Corny's fault. Even stuff that happened before he was born."
Jolie said OOC, "It's true. I know. He lives down the hall from me. In his hole of doom. From whence misfortune and bad puns emanate."
Jolie said OOC, "Oh, you meant icly. ;)"
Valentin said OOC, ""Rowen sent a storm of arrows at the Rat." Fratricide! The Horror!"
You said OOC, "*huggles Jolie* I'm not sure whether to feel sorry for you or be envious."
Valentin said OOC, "It's hardly a hole of doom. More like a hub of machinations."
Jolie said OOC, "Hub of manly odors.."
You said OOC, "Naw Jolie I meant occly too hun. <3"
Jolie said OOC, "Hub of loud snickering.."
Valentin said OOC, "Emphasis on manly, and brushing aside the odors >.>"
Jolie said OOC, "That's right! I can hear you down there. Snickering!"
You said OOC, "It is merely ratricide...no need for the F. I am pretty sure that rat was no brother of the lil' empress :D"
Valentin said OOC, "Dammit, she can too"
Kirien said OOC, "..>> did they actually make him into a coat rack."
Valentin said OOC, "Visit the Hanging Corpse, and you can confirm it with your very own eyes. Or hands. But watch where you put 'em >.>"
Tysinni said OOC, "He's the very best coat rack."
Kirien said OOC, "..<< someone invite Kirien there so he can be traumatised-- i mean."
You said OOC, "The most loyal coat rack any supreme empress ever knew *wipes away tear*"
ooc Comments tributes
Eric said OOC, "Rowen, One Day, I will make a statue out of you, consisting of cheese. You will be holding a rapier and riding a squirrel epically. And it shall sit in the tavern for eternity, enchanted by mages."
Niawtu said OOC, "Brilliant Eric! Then none shall forget her glory!"
(Kuzial is quoting occly from Corny's letter after his death to Kuzial)
Kuzial said OOC, "It also says 'Call yourself a Patron? A weaponmaster? Please. I've trained little girls with more finesse.' - I will miss having that dandy around. He was amusing."
Kuzial said OOC, "The / is only for RP situations. Anything that involves direct interaction with Hollow doesn't use it." Calcifier said OOC, "Shush. I am nood no longer! Now! how do I internet?" Valentin said OOC, "You internet by typing /points at Kuzial and calls him a 'pretty elfboi'" Calcifier said OOC, "Thanks for the help" Valentin said OOC, "Most welcome, guv. Any time!" Ordox said OOC, "There's also a cheat code, but you have to be in the same room as me. Type in 'give Ordox 2 gold'" Kirien said OOC, "Kuzial is totes pretty. check out his lovely hair." Kuzial said OOC, "I look forward to the day someone is brave enough to try that, Valentine."
Armadillos
You said OOC, "Satoshi is awesome, indeed, that is true. Sansloi is pretty great too, she threw an armadillo at Soph."
Sansloi said OOC, "But that's not what makes me great Soph! "
You said OOC, "Indeed, the factors which make you great are too numerous to list."
Satoshi said OOC, ">> I think I prefer my quiet existence here, however. It's comfy. Plus, being a hero just.... isn't Satoshi. She's a lazy creature, after all~."
Lionel said OOC, "I'd say armadillo-throwing is God Tier material."
You said OOC, "It was a very funny rp, Lionel."
Sansloi said OOC, "*struts* see, animal cruelty has its benefits! I am 'God Tier' material... "
Lionel said OOC, "Well I do worry for the safety of the armadillo. I figure, though, it's got natural armor..."
Sansloi said OOC, "Frazzled enjoys a good toss-about from time to time. His only real issue is with tigers trying to eat him. "
Cyllarus said OOC, "And leprosy too!"
Satoshi said OOC, ">> Someone else actually knows that weird fact about armadillos.... I adore you, Cyll."
Isen said OOC, "Taje, come to the tavern, and I'll give you the gold for the skill." Taje said OOC, "No thanks." Isen said OOC, "Do it, or I'll have to break your kneecaps. Mafia rules, man...I'd be executed if I didn't."
Sanmichel said OOC, "Gives Taje 1 Kneepads-of-Mob-Protection"
The most sane ans sensible character in Hollow.
You said OOC, "Pffft My rat has a wheelbarrow to carry all her biscuits it. Hence proving beyond all reasonable doubt that she is the most sane ans sensible character in Hollow."
Ranok said OOC, "I try to place Ranok's possessions on his body. He's got a bag of holding, but only whips it out for small things. Or his Book of Awesome."
Tiphareth told you, "ooc: I finally found it, apparently it's search pallets, there are no bunks here, at least not anymore."
Niawtu said OOC, "What kind of contest have I walked into?"
Tiphin said OOC, "Um, Sophie. Just gotta let you know... You're rat is is a schizo with a god complex."
You said OOC, "Rowen will naturally assume the book of Awesome is a biography of her amazing self. She's modest like that."
You said OOC, "*laughs* and *hugs Tiphin* I'm so glad you are here to point these things out hun. Everyone else believes every word about her being the supreme empress of the known universe! <3"
Niawtu said OOC, "Sophie, I love your little rat. She prays so hard that she falls asleep... And makes crayon cages to protect herself!"
You said OOC, "Thanks Niawtu. I loves her too <3"
Tiphin said OOC, "Glad I could be here to clear that up, then."
Tiphin said OOC, "didn't Myrall try to kill Rowen with a watermelon?"
Uchawiman said OOC, "She did what with my cage now?"
You said OOC, "Ummm not exactly try to kill no, she did assault her with a watermelon back when she was human and running around claiming she was Queen of Craughmoyle and a million other titles she had no right to"
You said OOC, "Froggy Rowen wouldn't dare put your crayon cage to any other use that housing you most revered self my love <3"
Jolie said OOC, "I think somebody's getting a new pet.."
You said OOC, "Tiph came pretty close to killing Rowen at that time."
Kasyr said OOC, "Lolol >>"
Tiphin said OOC, "And Guerin assaulted her with hot coffee."
You said OOC, "Rowen thinks she has Uchawiman as a pet in a cage she constructed from crayons, but whenever she is not looking he magically poofs out, and sometimes he pretends he was in there but invisible <3<3<3"
You said OOC, "Yeah, that was brilliant Tiphin <3 I was remembering that yesterday!"
Niawtu said OOC, "Lol! I think I gotta see some rp's between Ucha and Rowen! :D"
Kasyr said OOC, "I swear...someones going to kill Sophie with like...a mouse trap >.>"
Kasyr said OOC, "Rowen. rather >> though, Soph dieing from a mouse trap would be..weirdly funny"
Stop 1.7ing that fish
Administrative message from Hans: Smyth 1.7 now put the fish Down.
Smyth said OOC, "What fish?"
Aston said OOC, "THE fish. Apparently."
Smyth said OOC, "The only fish I got is this flouderin' Terra about to eat me!"
Hans said OOC, "Don't play dumb Smyth it wont work."
Terra said OOC, "...Am I missing the fish .... ?"
Smyth said OOC, "I don't play dumb. It's just natural."
Terra said OOC, "Rewind ... what about a fish?"
Terra said OOC, "/huffs And what is 1.7?"
Hans said OOC, "smyth was 1.7ing some random sucker fish, it was just wrong."
Evadne opens up Rowen's watermelon head.
Evadne said OOC, "is there an up to date herb listing that has all the herbs on there and what they do?"
You told Guerin, "ooc I love you! I laughed so loud when you posted about Guerin having trouble trying to persuade his men he was still in command! *huggles*"
Eyren said OOC, "Yay for learning!"
Arysel said OOC, "Learning is good."
Sergio said OOC, "if there isnt one evadne, there will be cuz im making one now"
You said OOC, "Yeah there is Evadne It is on the wiki, if you can't find it there, it is also in my head."
Evadne said OOC, "*opens row's head* hm... i tried the wiki but it needs updated something fierce."
Natalie said OOC, "I wouldn't go in there..."
Dergious said OOC, "Learning is for idiots who don't already know everything like me."
You said OOC, "Has her watermelon opened Ice cap mushroom 4 gold 20 stam Freezefall root 200 gold 500 stam Beauty Potion 500 gold Full stam"
You are so Late Rouss. Come faster next time
Aston said OOC, "Guerin, I now I know why you're da bomb. *nods*"
Eyren said OOC, "You are so Late Rouss. Come faster next time."
Roussai said OOC, "Sorry I can last longer than you,Eyren."
Dergious said OOC, "*stifles a mutable response to Eyren's post*"
Eyren said OOC, "I just . >.<"
Roussai said OOC, "Hehe."
Cyllarus said OOC, "*mutes Derg's stifle*"
Quay said OOC, "Hey Hollow! And why are we picking on Roussai? "
Terra said OOC, "Because he's easy."
Guerin said OOC, "Hey, Quay!"
Quay said OOC, "I did not want to know that."
Roussai said OOC, "Yes, I am easy."
You said OOC, "I think we are just picking on everyone in turn Quay."
Terra -- Tell Rheven I will never marry him
Guerin said OOC, "Anyone fighting Rowen needs to watch out for that dead shark. It's slippery and sneaky."
Kazuma said OOC, "Kazu bited Rowen earlier"
Kaval said OOC, "Sound delicious, Guerin."
Trey said OOC, "Nigel used to be a top guard in an elite underwater force until the accident."
You said OOC, "I think he understood that when you told him the 'second tuesday of next week' Terra bear."
Terra said OOC, "No, he hasn't caught on, Row. He's still babbling about flower girls and everything."
Terra said OOC, "Wut... Trey ran Nigel over with her boat? Hit and sail?"
You said OOC, "Yes cruel Kazu bited Rowen and stealed her blood, and mean Guerin beat up Nigel and threw him against the wall! Trey Nigel is a member of the Venturil guard, remember?"
Lahk and Rawren
You gave 1 Mithril Scalpel to Lahk.
Lahk said, "ooc Lahk is here with a Druid Slave named Softie."
You gave 1 Jersher-sized Steel Cage to Lahk.
Lahk gave 1 Sterile Jersher-hide gloves to you.
Lahk said, "ooc Who am I supposed to dissect?"
You ooc Your Lab rat dear
Lahk prods Rawren with the business end of the mithril scalpel and promptly has half a scalpel with several bite marks where the pointy bit used to be.
You gave 1 Gold tooth to Lahk.
Lahk feeds the rare metal endodonture to the Rowen-clone. He nods sagely, "Nothing like aurum for a rawrum."
You gave 1 spiked-leather collar to Lahk.
You :: The Rowen-clone agrees "I like rich food, my lycan slave, bring me more!"
Lahk has Sophie pin down the flurry of fur and teeth that is Rawren while the collar is fastened about her scrawny neck. This done, he ponders, "I'm not sure affixing blades to her was the best of ideas."
ou agrees "That crazy rat was dangerous enough without a spiked collar. Best put her in the cage."
Lahk locks the hapless rodent in the cage and hurries off to release her in the nearest cheese shop. Lahk exits south.