User:Uchawiman

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"Standing at a height of- oh who cares!? It's a bloody frogman wearing a tuxedo! what more is there to know!?"-Anonymus

There is no real way to explain Uchawiman. Therefor this page is a compilation of things he has said and done

You know what's the cool thing with magic is? It is really really really convenient. Sort of like a hotdog stand right outside a school without any sort of food supply. Which is quite accurate, as we're talking about a certain jersher here, who's magic is really convenient. But you'd probably avoid needing it in the first place, right? You better say yes or something is seriously wrong with you. Anyway! This frog turned around as the elf comes around, tipping his top hat like a real gentleman. “Ya luuk pon mi, or be dem turtles back?” he asked, as if she'd know exactly what turtles he was talking about. And strangely, his mention of these turtles made them seem ominous. Killer turtles. Imagine that. Since that image is occupying your attention, the jersher takes the chance and clicks his heels and snaps his fingers with his free hand. And with an explosion of neon-green smoke and flower-petals spreading like confetti, Steve will find himself fixed up! But also having grown bright orange feathers. Lucky guy, yeah? A coat like that would be expensive, it's nothing fake, eighter! Bargain!

Uchawiman had a lot of salamanders. No, seriously. A-LOT. You know? Some people call about 10 alot. Think more like 75. all different colors (I swear there are colors in there mortals have never seen before) and different voices. Voices? Oh yes, I forgot to mention, didn't I? They were also singing. The salamanders that is. Nothing fancy. Just.. 'twidletwidletwidle-dee' in a sort of march-song manner. Not-at-all the strangest of these things was the frog leading the salamanders in a manner of a cartoon character marching to music, waving his gnarled staff like a parade-cane. He was dressed in a purple tuxedo, a tattered bright-orange cloak and a even pruple-er tophat. Which was rainbow-like enough without his multicolored skin.

You know how sometimes things just happen that are so off the chart you can't do anything but just roll with it? It just so darn absurd it actually makes sense, yeah? Like now! The flies around Lokthull's pack? Yeah. Not there anymore. They morphed togather like someone collecting playdo and became a multicoloured frogman In an orange mage cloak, pruple tuxedo and matching tophat. He turned to the troll and said "Yu smell." and well... he did.

You ever had anyone call you a figment of a madwomans imadgination? You have!? where the -heck- do you live!? Well, since you have you should know how to react to it. Stare at the person as if your grandfathers rabid horse had built their brain using wheat and manuer! Yes, that stare. The one you use on old ladies walking trought the -one- really slim corridor to the commuter trains when everyone behind her are in extreame hurry. Everyone knows old ladies move in slow motion. That's the point here. Anyway! Back to the frog, yeah? He blinks at Cornleius and grins. Frogs -still- do that. Stop beeing surprised at it. "Wut, Mi? Mi perfectly sane, Maan."

Uchawiman was like: foooooowsh! And BOOM! there he was! Inside the door! always making you want more! He's what you're looking for! Part of ancient lore! There is no one like him~, you simply cannot win! He is number one! The Uchawiman!! Yes! Standing there with colours and all kinda special effects bursting out behind him from the most dynamic entry ever in any kind of stuff ever seen! Even better then terminator's 'i'm back'! no, i'm serious! He's just -that- epic right now!! The strobelights go crazy and the spotlights hit the frog when he looks over the room at sophie and says with all the drama of the world! The words that will ring in time forever...!!! "Mi forgot mi lizard."

Uchawiman has a hard-dying habit of starting posts with 'you know' or 'you ever'

Some quotes added by Sophie who adores the genius of Uchawiman's writer

Uchawiman whirls around like a carousel (including that horrible horrible music they play...) and sprays glitter from his sleeves and stuff. Then he points at Ranok with a giant candy-cane. Oh man, now I'm hungry. Ever had that feeling when you see a sort of food and your brain goes haywire and makes you wanna eat a completely diffrent food so bad you feel that if you -don't- get to eat in in the next thirty mintues you're gonna have to punch a baby or something? Yeah. It's the sound that makes you punch infants. Only... not a sound. "Mi be on da mind of many, maan. Da Uchawiman is pon everybody mind, ja?" he started skipping back and forth like some sort of insane colourful pendlum spewing really-fast-spoken nonesense.. "Da memmory be me bill and yu all be singing it. Yu remember wut yu need and wut yu liek an wut yu fear. Each on one be da drivin' business tings. Yu naa remember da common and da common be nuthin anybody needs. If yu don't tink about mi, mi naa doin' ma job right!"

Sophie is thinking that if poor Robert is ever to regain some semblance of sanity, it may be best to limit his interactions with people even crazier than he is, like the frog.

Uchawiman whipped out a sock-puppet at Muraski all dramaticly. Was that a tha-daah sound? probobly. "Da shrimp be naa fish-" the puppet imitated a fish then shook it's head. "Naa be shrimp da shellfish!" the puppet held up a picture of a turtle with a big red X over it. "And wut yu call da ting that chooses na side?" the puppet raised is arms in a shrug. "A SPY!!" exclaimed the frog dramaticly. And the pupper smacked it's hands to it's cheeks imitating that 'the scream' painting! Egads!

Uchawiman said to you, "Jimbob, maan. Yu naa know it. but sven be da misconception. Jimbob be da one true great spirit, maan."

Uchawiman 's puppet marched right up to Ranoks face like a pissed of grandma trained in purse-fu. Dangerous stuff, dude. "Whatcha want, mumbles?" it said. Yeah the puppet said. Oh come on, you can drop the act. You were all expecting it, I know. Don't petronize me."

Sophie has always been brought up to respect the religious believes of others...at least until they start torturing elves to death in the name of the spider queen and suchlike. She bows her head politely to Uchawiman. "My respects to Jimbob, then sir."

Uchawiman said OOC, "I am cutting loose this morning. Not sure if that is good or bad. But it is rather fun. Do be carefull with your sanity."

Sophie said OOC, "No worries Uchanwiman I always locks any remaining dregs of my sanity safely up in a pickle jar before playing Hollow. It's not like I am ever going to need such an attribute in this place."

Ranok pffts. No one was ready for Ucha's insanity. Not unless you were Ucha. And even then, he wondered. "Hy asked first. Regardless. Hy em trowink a party for everyone. It vill be Fae Demed. Hy vill hef a liddle kontest. Hy vant pipple to try to katch rabbits. Dat turn into butterflies. Und back again. It vill be fun."

Uchawiman 's puppet went on to slap Ranok and laugh like a lunatic before dissapearing. The thing wasn't even on Ucha's hand anymore, it turns out. It was standing on a frikkin' broom. Where'd It get a broom? Will. you. stop. asking. QUESTIONS!? Geez! It's not worth it! Run! Run for your life, kid! Get out of here! They'll come for you! They'll be back! It's the- okay, imma stop myself there... got a bit out of hand. Anyway. The frog grabbed the brim of his hat and forced it down so the parrot dissapeared into it with a "Squerawk!?" and then went back into showman pose with the cane and all that usual stuff. "Shape-changein' butterflies? Too easy maan... yu got me tinkin' dis wod be fun."

Uchawiman swung his staff like a friggin baseball bat, smacking the chicken that came out of his robe away like a golfball out the door! Swoosh! Homerun-in-one! Yes! Now that's an achivement "Yu naa want any otha shapes too, maan? Mebbe a giraffe? Or..." the frog shades his eyes like when you're trying to look really far after something flying away and then points with his stick. "Wuteva dat ting was."

Little Sanmichel is absolutely delighted by his new pet. He hugs the tame little hamster, then gets out a brush and begins to brush his fine fur. "Thanks mister! I'll think up a really good name for him...how abouts if I calls him Uchawiman in your honour, mister would that be alright? Rowen the rat scampers in from a rathole throws a number of crayons at the frog, the scampers off again draggin a crayon behind her, talking to what she in her addled little mind is convinced is the frog, captive in a crayon cage.

Uchawiman laughs a bit at Ranoks uh... what's that word... eh... compromise? I think? Anyway. It balances the staff on it's head and shuffles a card deck by making cards fly back and forth between his hands with the sound of popcorn being popped in the sun. Ever heard that? it's a awesome sound. Mm... popcorn. "More fun for yu guest, Mithinks." says the frog with that grin.

Uchawiman looks to Sammichel and holds up a finger. The cards shuffle themselves anyway. There's a parlor trick, yeah? Don't come here with your hiding cards and guessing faces! Unless you can -at least- make them dance and sing, you've got nothing on us! Hells yeah! "Uchawiman be naa name, maan. It Mi title!" says the frog and... I... Didn't know that. Plot twist, darnit! I'm supposed to know this stuff! I demand better working conditions! Then he's hit by Crayons ! Boosh! Colours! the frog falls backwards and is pulled along the floor all someone-tied-a-rope-around-my-ankles style. "Yu smart, Rowen!"

In Jimbob's name no!

Sophie said to Ranok, "In Jimbob's name no! I wouldn't wish that destructive idiot to visit my worst enemy. "

Uchawiman oocly laughed out loud at Sophie's post... in jimbobs name.... that's simply amazing. She stuck with it.

Sophie said to Muraski, "I hope he has planned to compensate, me should that not be the case, I have far more civilised ways of persuading him to do the right thing than foolish physical violence. I need no help from one with so little intelligence as to consider such a reprehensible course of action." The shopkeepers mouth falls agape as Rowen drags of her frog friend. "Hey, rat woman, bring him back, this instant!" Sanmichel is still hamster-obsessed. "So mister if Uchawiman is your titile,, would it not be a suitable name for my new hamster? What does the title mean? If it means 'cute fluffy and cuddly' it seems to me it would make a great name for a hamster."

Sophie occly *huggles Uchawimam and Muraski* So glad you guys enjoyed my Jimbob post <3<3<3 This rp is hilarious.

Ranok stomps on the invisible rope, thus 'saving' Ucha. "It distresses me dat dis sort uf tink seems kompletely natural now." Muraski said to you, "You state that people who think of violence lack intelligence? No offense meant, miss, but from what you state, everyone lacks intelligence. Not one person upon this planet has ever lacked the thought. Anyways, I can think of several other courses of action, I just prefer to be direct is all. I've used other courses when being direct doesn't work so well."

Sophie oocly so hopes the title Uchawiman -does- mean cute fluffy and cuddly. *huggles*

Muraski oocly wonders what it means as well :D Also wants to know the real name.

Uchawiman said to you, "Mi perfectly sane. Wut, yu tink mi be nuts?"

Little Sanny is now looking quite confused. "Er maybe It might be simpler if I was to decide to name my new pet in honour of someone else, mister Uchawiman? What do you think? I wanted to honour you, to thank you for giving me such a nice little hamster, but I can't understand a thing you a saying just now..."He cuddles the little critter. "He is soooo cute!"

Sophie said to Uchawiman, "You are every bit as sane as your rat friend, my dear."

Hy get a man arguink insane philosophy. Und de frog. Alvays de frog

Ranok rubs his face, "Hy kome here to do business, Hy get a man arguink insane philosophy. Und de frog. Alvays de frog. Dis becomink too regular to be healddy." He decides to try a more direct course of handling this. He points at Ucha, "Voodoo Man! Get voodooink! It's not voodon', it's voodoo! So do!"

You told Uchawiman, "ooc Would you occly mind if Little Sanny were to name his 4th hamster Uchawiman in your frog's honour hun?"

The sun and moon start having a slap-hand-fight while making 'neeeeergh!' sounds at each other

Uchawiman jumped up on his feet and held out a hand. The cards came flying, flapping like butterflies. Just roll with it. "Yu name it wut yu want, maan. Mi got all da titles an honour mi needs." says the frog and flips up a card showing the moon and the sun holding hands. "Da empress? Noting wrong wit her either, yu no." he says. Oh and the sun and moon start having a slap-hand-fight while making 'neeeeergh!' sounds at eachother. "Quiet yu two!"

Uchawiman told you, "ooc: Not at all."

Little Sanny chides Ranok. "All in good time mister Ranok. You have to get your priorities right, Me and mister Uchawiman have important matters of hamster naming to discuss first."

Sophie told Uchawiman, "ooc Awesome *jumps for joy* and *huggles her friend*"

Uchawiman looked over at Ranok and slapped the moon. Oh, forgot to mention: the moon? it looked out of the card and stuck it's tounge out at ranok and made a sound like a kazoo. "Yu wan da bunnies now, maan? Sure." and then the frog goes all WHOPASH! and whips his arm out at Ranok like chuck-norris throws a punch. Only they didn't all die. We'll settle for the 128, oh wait. 129... bunnies that shot out of the frogs sleeve at the smith. Bunnythrower! Adorable and deadly! But... not really.... they're not monty python bunnies. Jimbob save us if they were...

Sophie said to Muraski, "I really would not attempt to argue about the nature of intelligence sir. I would leave such matters for the consideration of those of us with personal experience of said phenomenon."

Uchawiman grinned at Ranok and started throwing out cards like ninja stars! hitting a bunny at a time with epic shinobi prescion. And every time a bunny was hit it inflated a little bit like a balloon and sprouted wings like a schoolgirl in japaneese cartoons. Poff! Oh and the small voodoo-animals from before were playing a song on tiny instruments. "Dis, maan. Yu need ta chill."

Uchawiman 's bunny spat a fireball made out of flowers into Muraski's face. Ow. Burn. Literally.

Uchawiman oocly nods. Dragunnies. Oh yes.

Zondo appears from below.

Zondo oohs and ahhs, walking into the establishment where evidently everyone is awake in Hollow right now is hiding

Muraski is burnt by the flower spewing bunny. A singed suit to appear as the mobster quickly threw the thing at Uchawiman. "You can keep it.. Still unable to pay me for my shrimp I see.." The human sighed and went back to his corner to sit.

Little Sanny happily dances along to the the music played by the small voodoo animal orchestra. He is joined by another of Soph's kids who runs in from the back, because she loves dancing. Little Gwenilyn is a five year old gold dragon, currently in her dragon form, she dances around joyfully, making 'gloop gloop' noises. Sanimichel regards the vast numbers of bunny rabbits hopping around his mother's shop. "They is quite nice, but...." He turns a somersault as he considers."All in all they ain't nearly so wonderfull as hamsters! Whoever heard of any pixie who had a bunny rabbit as his noble steed?"

Muraski said, "ooc : :D Hamster steed!"

From bunny to butterfly to brass instrument

Uchawiman - The rabbit in ranok's hand explodes! Now it's a giant butterfly! It makes a sound like a tuba and flies away from the smith.

Muraski turned to Zondo, "Amusement a plenty if you enjoy frogs who ruin your dinner, men who can't speak properly and children who play pirates. Though, the last is by far rather amusing to enjoy. I even found myself to be slain by them last time about this shop."

Little Sanny comments to Muraski. "Don't be so hard on yerself mister. I wouldn't say you can't speak properly. I mean everything you say is complete nonsense, but it is pretty well-pronounced complete nonsense."

Muraski blinked at Sanny's words, "Well then... I erm.." Out smarted by a child... The man found himself speechless.

Uchawiman sighs and looks down at a bunny. "Yu wanna breath bubbles instead, maan?" the bunnie responds! By burping out bubbles that pop in a: Pon, don, ting, tang!

Uchawiman said to Ranok, "See? Easy."

Little Sanny asks Uchawiman "Can you show me how to breathe bubbles too mister Uchawiman? That looks fun!"

Zondo blinks at the rapid, excited talking of the pixie as he names of the sharks, "Aye I'd say that would be a splendid way to prove your dominance over the sea. Sadly I have yet to find a way to breath underwater so I can never have such sea like adventures." Turning to Sophie as she overwhelms him with a story about her shop he nods slowly. "I would say you need some body guards of your own, miss. To help combat people from destroying your beautiful shop in such ways."

Ranok picks up another rabbit, "Simple as dat, indeed. Now Hy need to decide vere to schtick dem for de tvo veeks ontil de party."

Sophie politely refrains from making any suggestions as to where Ranok can stick the bunnies.

Is a hamster snorkel wise?

Little Sanny continues to enthuse to Zondo about the possibily of him becoming a shark-rider as well as a hamster rider. "Nassy says, instead of spending ages training a shark to be my mount, I should try to make a snorkel for the fine mount I already have, 'Champion the wonderhamster'. So he can be a bit like a seahorse. What do you think would be best?"

Uchawiman said to Sammichel "Yu open yu mouth. Take a deep breath. And den yu spit out bubbles.

Uchawiman oocly laughs aloud at the thought of giving Wonderhamster a snorkle and flippers. Especially knowing the frog could indeed see it done.

Still more from the hilarious frog

Uchawiman was like a meteor. No I'm serious. If you'd ever seen a meteor and compared it to a insane voodoo frog in a purple tuxedo and orange robe standing on a giant dodo shooting down from the sky with lots of smoke and strange lights you'd know how friggin similar they are. It's like twins, really. Only one twin is blonde and the other... uh... has nails for hair? What. Never seen nail hair? It's not that rare. Honest. Not where I live. So there. Think about that for a moment while the frog yells "Yoozha!" and crashes into the snow like a catapult shot. With the boom and the snow everywhere and the needless special effects using way too much sprinkles and loud noises. Why does no one put any money in script writing anymore!? I mean.. killer turtles!!

Svilfon was about to reply to Satoshi when he sees... something... shooting across the sky. Was it a meteor? In a tuxedo?! Ice-cold hands rub his eyes to ensure he's not been partaking of too much pixie-dust, before he manages a, "Yoozha?!" Without waiting for his companion, the wizard stands up and yells out - attempts at stealth forsaken in the light of the very fine special effects showings - sparks and snow, loud booms and few explosions just because - "Call me a bald wizard, aren't you bastards extinct?" He was talking to the dodo, it seems - the saner one of the pair.