RP:Yeet Or Be Yeeten

Part of the Dissonance Theory Arc

Part of the Through The Looking-Glass: Return To Wonderland Arc

Part of the On Stranger Tides Arc

This is a Devout's Guild RP.

This is a Warrior's Guild RP.

Summary: Khitti yeets that goddamn sword right into the frakking ocean after a long while of deciding what she was going to do about Tenbatsu Kaji and it's not-so-niceness of late. Afterward, her and Brand celebrates with a lot of sex, booze, and cheesecake (sorry, that's private though). It was a good day.

The Tranquility, Cenril Wharf

Khitti || Day 523 of Post-Lionel Extinction Event: Khitti was still in the process of reading #AllTheThings about this damned archipelago and she wasn’t happy about it. She also wasn’t happy about the fact that Tenbatsu Kaji was being a total bitch lately. It was as if there were some sort of language barrier between them again and neither of them could understand the other. It was like Amarrah all over again in some ways. As she studied about all the things that Rilla was likely to run into on her scouting mission (none of them were lovely like a lemonade stand in Death’s Causeway or a field of flowers in Nocturne or even a wild pack of tiny kittens in The Bleak; in fact they were all terrible), she couldn’t stop thinking about that sword. It didn’t help that Dominic had wandered into Khitti and Brand’s quarters with his chickens trailing behind him, flailing a wooden sword around, and wearing Onyx 1.0’s hat like he was some legendary hero. “Ha! Hiya! Yaaaah!” Annnd, there goes the clay pot on the floor Khitti’d been using to throw all of those half-written letters to the Warrior’s Guild in, not too long ago. Cue his chickens squawking victoriously. Khitti tried soooo hard to ignore it and just flipped through the book and scribbled things down but… ultimately she snatched the sword out of Dominic’s hand… and that led to a very unhappy child. A very unhappy crying child.

Brand had walked into the room just as Dominic was getting his wooden sword taken away. Brand threw a hand up, and the blade of the sword burst into flames. “Now it’s Uncle Lio’s sword,” he said with a grin, and took it out of Khitti’s hand. He took a few playful swipes (being very careful not to light his precious ship on fire), doused the flames, and handed the sword back to Dominic. “How about you go show Auntie Dozla your swordfighting skills? I’m sure she could teach you a thing or two.” He began to usher Dominic (and his chickens) out of the room.

Khitti || But, Brand. You’re supposed to burn it entirely, not give it back to him. Sheesh. Khitti put both hands on her face and dragged them downwards, giving the emptiness in the room that used to be occupied by their kid and his chickens quite a look as she sighed heavily. “I’m gonna melt every single sword on this ship. Or maybe in the entire city.” She closed her book and the notebook she’d been writing in and eyed Brand, “You had an idea before… and I’m thinking about doing it. I’m sick of all the fighting I’ve been doing with Seika lately. We might as well have that weird interference that we had before Facilier got rid of my dark magic. It’s somehow worse than -our- fighting.” Sure they didn’t fight as often as they used to (somehow), but it was still worse than that. It was quickly reaching similar levels as those times she’d fought with their kid’s predecessor, except this was bringing about different emotions than that had. “I’m still perfectly fine with working with Cyris--things there haven’t changed--but she’s treating me like he does his paladins--and I’m very clearly not one of those nor will I ever be.” Khitti was not at all gross lawful good shiny paladin ‘I’m better than everyone else’ material.

Brand tilted his head to one side, looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. “You’re gonna have to be more specific. I have a lot of ideas.” Yes, Brand. Lots of -bad- ideas. One would think that, by limiting the pool of candidates only to those ideas which anyone in their right mind would wish to carry out, Brand could potentially figure out which idea Khitti was talking about… but nope. To Brand, -all- of his ideas were good ideas. Perhaps even especially the worst ones.

Khitti smirked, “You probably forgot because you were too busy shoving cheesecake in your face and trying to deny that your plan of ripping out a page of that potion and poisons book was, in fact, a bad idea.” She neatly stacked her books and stood up to stretch a bit. How long had she been sitting there? Too long. She was starting to feel like if she stretched for too long her body might just fall apart in random places. “The idea you had… was to throw Tenbatsu Kaji into the damn ocean. More and more each day, it’s sounding like a good idea. It likely won’t stay there, but I imagine it’ll get the picture. Cyris might not be too happy about it, but I guess we’ll see if he decides to smite me or not.”

Brand looked at least marginally concerned. They’d had lots of dealings with various gods, and not all of them had ended nicely. “Do you think the smiting would actually happen? What happens to you if you get… smote? Are we talking ‘eradicated from the face of the earth’ or more like ‘cursed to feel kinda itchy for the next week’?” Brand had some... strange ideas about gods and what it was like to worship them, mainly because he’d never actually followed a god before. He’d made it some forty-ish years without following any deities, and he wasn’t about to start now.

Khitti was totally imitating the shrug emoticon right now. You know the one. The one that basically says like ‘Oh well. I guess I’ll die’. This probably was of no comfort to Brand. “I dunno. If I get smote, I guess that means you’re not married anymore and you can go back to that bachelor life you loved so much.” That’s good right? Right? At least this time, they could maybe have sex real quick before The End™ and Brand knew to possibly expect it. It's totally different than last time. It’s fiiiine. “You should probably make out with me first though.” Hint hint, Brand. “Besides, I feel like Cyris proooobably gets me at this point? He probably won’t be too mad. I’m still working with him… for him… whatever. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have joined the Syndicate.” The clan, after all, was all about helping those that could not help themselves to get their freedom back and get rid of people like the Larket Jerks. “It’s not like throwing the sword into the sea is gonna hurt it or Seika. She’ll just frak off elsewhere until she finds someone else to curse with her existence.”

Brand || At Khitti’s last few words, Brand looked quickly up to the ceiling, then to one side, then the other. When it became clear Khitti was not going to be struck by lightning or any similar substance for her attitude toward Seika, Brand moved in for the kiss as Khitti had suggested. Unfortunately for him, an errant chicken picked precisely that moment to make its presence known, startling Brand and thoroughly ruining the moment. “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be with the kid right now?” In response, the chicken clucked softly, settled into a chicken-boat form, and maintained steady eye contact. There would be no sexy shenanigans today, at least not while this creepy chicken was watching.

Khitti was kissed by a Brand! It was nice and pretty hot. But then there was a chicken and Khitti’s soul died a little. “Why are you the way that you are,” Khitti said in a very Gevurah fashion, by making the question into a statement. The chicken just clucked softly again. And stared. A lot. Siiiiigh. Fine. No sex then. “Alright. Let’s get this over with.” She pulled away from Brand and headed to the armory to retrieve that bastard sword (not to be confused with -a- bastard sword). Once she finally got upstairs and outside, Khitti held the sword out a bit in front of her, “Last chance to quit acting like a frakking bitch because I’m not what you thought I was, Seika.” The only response Khitti’d get was another strong shock of holy energy, the weapon’s aura shifting to that angry red. “M’kay. Bye then.” And then she yeeted it into the ocean. She even threw it in such a way that it spun a few times before hitting the water. “AND STAY OUT!” Sorry, Tenbatsu Kaji. You’ve been evicted.

Brand followed, mostly in case Khitti got smoted. Smitten? No, that word was for something else. Smacked in the face by holy power? Smartened? ...Whatever. In any case, it didn’t look like a smittening was forthcoming, so Brand exhaled a sigh of relief. No smirts today, or possibly ever again now that the sword was gone. “I think you’re supposed to give a speech or something now. Something about how you held onto the sword for eighty years, but now it’s time to let it go?” He was making a reference to a book about a ship that sank. Probably not the best thing to bring up while standing on a boat, but then again they were docked -- even if he somehow ‘jinxed’ it, it wasn’t like safety was far away.

Khitti did not get smote! But, she was still smitten. With whom though? It’s not obvious at all. “What? No. What do I look like? Lionel? I don’t make speeches. I kill people that make them. But more importantly, I need a new sword… I started designing one a while back as a mate for Embershard, but that drawing pad is back at the apartment. We could go there and I could, you know, show it to you. Where there’s no chickens. And the possibility of picking up cheesecake from the bakery and a really expensive bottle of whiskey from the Whaler’s.” It’s not something Khitti used often, but she flipped her charisma switch to the ‘on’ position and batted her eyelashes all seductive-like. Did she really need to do that? Probably not. But sometimes, it made Brand blush and it was super cute, so Khitti couldn’t resist. “We could celebrate now that we’re both back to not having another damned voice in our heads.” Meanwhile, Tenbatsu Kaji just… allowed itself to sink to the bottom of the ocean for now. What else was it going to do? It’s not like it hadn’t sat in the Underdark for a couple years after it left Kelovath. Anything that got near it that wasn’t worthy would surely be shocked to death. Maybe one day, it’d actually find someone that Seika would truly deem worthy. Or maybe it’d just stay down there in the abyss forever.

Brand || Khitti said all of Brand’s favorite words. Cheesecake. Whiskey. Expensive. Celebrate. No-chickens. His grin was wide enough to rival the cheshire cat from yet another book he’d read not too long ago. “Lead the way.”