RP:Where You Don't See Me, Part 2

From HollowWiki

Summary: After the work day is complete, Alvina's invited to join Xiem and the crew for dinner at the tavern afterwards. Drinks, laughs and karaoke ends with another melancholy goodbye conclude the evening.

I don't need the world to see
That I've been the best I can be, but
I don't think I could stand to be
Where you don't see me


Kelay Tavern

The rest of the work day is lousy with bad jokes and lessons on how to properly swing a sledgehammer into a piece of drywall. It wasn't how Alvina'd pictured the day going. She'd expected to just sign off on the construction, make sure they had all they needed, and then head home. It was a weekend so no real work to tend to. The other workers are winding down, packing away their tools and covering spare lumber for the evening to protect against frost or possible rain.


Xiem helps everyone pack up after a successful first day of work. Of course all of the workers insist that Alvina should join them at the local tavern for supper, but they would understand if she has to head home even though they pout. Xiem rents out the rooms at the Inn for all the workers to be ready for the night after their meal spent with plenty of drink and jokes that fill the tavern with hearty laughter.


By dinner time, Alvina's brain and body feel spent between destroying the house and tumbling over the various conversations she'd had. A lot of her brain power, when she wasn't distracted, was devoted to finding a way to move past the hard parts of her life. Some, she felt she didn't deserve to move past. Others, well, most felt like that. Best to try and grow but her personality insisted on learning the lesson, continuing the punishment, and working towards forgiveness from other people. Forgiving herself was a long road she can't quite walk yet. She's pleased when all the workers seem delighted by her company in a polite and supportive way. It's a win for construction men and women everywhere. She'd been sure, based on reviews she'd heard from other people about other companies, that mild harassment was par for the course. She's sipping on water, listening to the men tell stories, as the night flows on. Eventually she'd have to leave, for now this felt like another world and she wanted to be a part of it. To be someone else for a minute more. It still didn't overwrite the pain waiting for her, but it helped make it more tolerable to make good memories she could cling to. Her friends, and children, were truly saving her sanity and life without even knowing it. "Xiem! Grab that water pitcher?" She calls over the noise. It's about 5 bodies away from where Alvina's sitting and she's too tired to squish past the burly men to reach it. Drinking wasn't her forte, since becoming a mom. Brunch with Lana was the most she'd had in a very long time and that ended up both great and horribly embarrassing. Alvina's had enough embarrassing moments with Xiem for the moment.


Xiembantointh always treats the whole company to a nice big meal the first night of a large project and then once more on the last day. Having Alvina join them is such a delight for everyone and he enjoys watching them ask her about her family while sharing details about their own. They are all scruffy and maybe a tad smelly from the hard day's work, but no one really seems to mind because he chose a group of tables off in a corner to push together. Everyone groans here or there when Xiem rounds off a few awful 'dad' type puns, but the joy on his face with each one makes everyone laugh eventually. Xiem hears his name being called and he leans over the table to find Alvina. Choosing to be a bit of a smart ass, he nods and simply grabs the handle before asking, "now what?" He grins widely before standing up and walking it over to her before she scolds him again. "Excuse me miss," he leans over her and picks up her glass in order to fill it for her. All within the tavern look towards the stage when a band sets up to announce a karaoke night is about to take place and they are looking for volunteers to pick from the song book to perform. Mischief twinkles in his kind eyes as he takes his close proximity to Alvina as an opportunity and he quickly raises her arm up for her while looking down at her in surprise (as if he isn't the one volunteering her!) "Come oooon up, missy," the band member calls out excitedly towards Alvina with a big grin on their face because it usually takes a little more coaxing of the crowd since no one likes to go first. Xiem lets go of Alvina's arm and offers to help her out of her chair before motioning towards the stage.


Alvina feels pulled into the fold of workers like a family. She's not quite sure how it happened. It snuck up on her when she'd been lost in herself and she'd come back to her body to find herself in the middle of smashing up the kitchen or laughing as the guys tells bad jokes or talk about their families. A couple guys recounted hard times and how when they found themselves unemployable, Xiem gave them a chance. The word 'life saver's' been said more than once. She scrunches her nose at Xiem's puns, makes a few of her own in a valiant effort to keep her title of Pun Master. It was always the best, after a glass of wine, when she'd corner her husband with one. The way he'd groan with casual annoyance but smile. If she was still with Hudson, she wouldn't have been at the house before the workers got there. She wouldn't have smashed up the kitchen and she certainly wouldn't be out at a bar with a herd of men. "Excuse me, sir?" Is her only scolding remark about the water Xiem's teasing her about. She nearly spits her water out as soon as she gets it though. Her mouth is wide open; looking at the band, looking at Xiem, looking at her arm like it's somehow betrayed her. It's fine. She's a bard. It's fine. "Honestly, rude." She gives the avian a look feigning annoyance before she stands. She too is sweaty. Her hair a little messier than it would usually be. Her shoes have been abandoned under the table so she walks up on stage with stocking feet. He thinks he got me. She watches Xiem's smug face cheer her on when she goes and once she's properly on stage. Once she's there and the band kicks up the slow song she's picked, she turns back for a deep breath. She doesn't really know these men and maybe they'd prefer if she sing something more fun, with a party vibe. But if she's going to be pulled up to sing against her will, she's going to sing something that matters to her! Something she'll sing well. And the first rule of singing, is feeling what you sing.

A lone piano starts slowly.
"Broken bottles in the hotel lobby. Seems to me like I'm just scared of never feeling it again. I know it's crazy to believe in silly things but it's not that easy."

A guitar strums slowly, joining them.
"I remember it now, it takes me back to when it all first started. I've only got myself to blame for it, and I accept it now."

A set of drugs jumps in, the tempo lifting and changing chords.
"And in my dreams I meet the ghosts of all the people who have come and gone. Memories, they seem to show up so quick but they leave you far too soon. Naïve I was just staring at a broken window pane."

The band increases tempo, all three instruments falling into step together with more energy, breaking away from the solemn start. Finally, the drums and piano fade, leaving the slow strum of the guitar where once the band rang out. Returning to the gentle sorrow of the start.


Xiembantointh cheers the loudest when she makes her way up there and claps with gusto before lowering down into the chair she left vacant. It doesn't take long for her talent to render everyone in the tavern speechless. His fellow workers, filled with men and women of differing races along with Xiem, slowly stand up from their table before making their way over to the stage. It is a beautiful song and they wish to be closer to the stage, but it seems every other person in the establishment feels the same way and the rest are being pulled into this woman's song and the way her soul is being put to song. Xiem allows the bard's voice to soak into his soul like a sponge and he starts to sway with everyone else in the small crowd. Those with lighters flick the flame on and hold it up while swaying with the crowd. Once she finishes, the cheers could probably be heard down the street! Xiem puts two of his fingers in his mouth and offers a loud wolf whistle to show his admiration. As she makes her way down, the workers crowd around her only for a small moment to express how impressed they are and Xiem just stands off to the side with a smug little grin on his bearded face. Whenever she makes her way closer to him, he compliments her by saying, "I am glad I made you do that. It was spectacular to experience and I don't think I will ever forget it." He offers to escort her back to her seat.


Alvina sings without thought. It’s her and the music and warmth of the tavern. She sang like she was alone so when she pulls the final notes from her throat and opens her eyes to see the crowd gathered, she swallows hard. The flames, the cheers. She’s both humbled and embarrassed. Her face flushes a violent red. She leans back, whispering to the band with nods and thanks before trying to filter through the crowd. Why did she let Xiem nudge her into singing?! When she reaches him, she listens to the sweet things he’s saying but instead of responding, she reaches out to gently tug his wrist and lead him towards the stage. Once he’s properly in front of the band, she’ll release him with a grin that says ‘got you’ written all over her pale face. Payback’s a beach Xiem.


Xiembantointh is surprised at her reddened cheeks, "I wish you could have seen yourself up there. You definitely owned that stage!" Xiem raves on, but he is getting no response and wonders if she is cross with him. Uh-oh. Now he is being tugged along and he prepares himself for another talking to, although it will be pretty humiliating to do so up on the stage! No? She is leaving him up there?! His eyes widen at her in panic, but then he realizes it is only fair and he sighs with a smile. How couldn't he smile back when she grins so victoriously? He is not entirely a stranger to being on a stage because it is hard to live as long as he has without performing at least one thing in your life, but it was so long ago and buried with the mundane memories that he practically forgot. He visibly looks nervous which is never a good sign at these things because that means the person is either going to sprint off stage and out of the bar or you're going to have to suffer through one of the longest few minutes of your life! Xiem clears his throat and recognizes the acoustic guitar one of the band members has, so he walks over to have a hushed exchange and he relieves the guitarist of his duties for this song while also pulling up the stool.

"Um…" he grins while pushing his wavy umber brown hair back from his face before scratching the back of his neck nervously, "my apologies in advance if this sucks. When the throwing of food commences, please throw something hard enough to knock me out and put me out of my misery," there is laughter to follow and he waits for the place to become quiet as his eyes come to a close. More than likely he's trying to muster up the courage to start the damn thing as his heart is beating a million miles a minute rather than building suspense. The guitar strums out simple enough and his timbre slowly joins in, sounding surprisingly youthful at first.

"Let's pack our stuff now,
And run away,
We can't be all we want in this small town."

The verse builds with the rest of the musical instruments joining in to the soft, yet happy seeming song. The chorus resonates warmly in Xiem's natural register and soaks into the stillness of the small crowd that Alvina had managed to gather there just moments ago. The song paints a picture of a much younger Xiem possibly elaborating on his life with his late wife. The other construction workers in the crowd are a little stunned while not knowing how to react to this side of Xiem. Should they cheer? Should they go sit back down? Is this awkward?

"All we wanted,
Was a place to feel like home,
That's why we parted,
From our ways to heal our souls,
I'm a small town miserable man,
That does what he can."

When the song he chose concludes, he slowly opens one eye and then the other in wait for a rating from the crowd.


Alvina can't help but feel smug in the way she's turned the tables on Xiem. Force her on the stage, will you? She isn't known for being much of a sly trickster but when the mood strikes her, she can be quite cunning. She watches with curious attention to the way he speaks to the band members and then takes up the guitar. W-was this a trick? Had he wanted to perform the whole time?! He even played an instrument! So much for her plan to embarrass him a little. He can't be good at everything, can he? The chuckling of his crew and a few other patrons dies down when he starts strumming. The whole tavern falling silent to absorb the song. Alvina's hit with a wall of emotions immediately. His voice is a mixture of surprisingly youthful and brassy deep. Her right hand falls on her left shoulder, squeezing it tightly, trying not to make a fool of herself and cry again. At the end, she manages to stabilize by looking at his coworkers. They look equally shocked by this development of seeing their boss on stage. There's a beat of silence after the last strum of the guitar before the crowd erupts in cheers. A few patrons are wiping their eyes, chilled by his emotional rendition. Xiem's coworker's greet him at the stage, clapping him on the back, congratulating him and teasing him for keeping this talent a secret. Alvina stays still, frozen in the flow of the crowd's motion. The smug smile she put him on the stage with is no where to be seen. When he's in arms' reach, she'll laugh quietly, rubbing the top of her left arm. "So much for paying you back for putting me on the spot." He'd been so encouraging when she came back from her performance but she can't think of the right thing to say. "That was amazing." Too many words would break her so she opts instead to lean her head back to their tables. "Next round's on me. For everyone."


Xiembantointh bashfully accepts the cheers after stepping down from the stage. He is blushing and embarrassed beyond measure. When he reaches Alvina and her words make it seem like that was such an easy feat for him, he simply shakes his head. With eyebrows raised in surprise at Alvina while gently guiding one of her hands to his chest where his heart is beating like it is about to burst from his chest cavity. "Look," his other hand is presented to her and flat, but shaking like a leaf. "I have horrible stage fright," he admits before suddenly noticing all too well that her hand is on his chest with his gently resting on top of it. So, he casually releases her hand and smiles sheepishly at her compliment, "thank you, Alvina." One of the worker's drapes her arm over Alvina's shoulders when the bard offers to buy them around while saying, "that's what I'm talkin' bout!" Xiem watches as Alvina is whisked away back to their table with a grin on his face, but she doesn't seem as interactive as before. After he takes his seat, he would periodically glance over Alvina's way and if she happened to look back, he would offer a grin. The group goes back to stories and drinks, but whenever Alvina's body language advertises that she is ready to go, Xiem offers to walk her to her carriage. Once he has helped get her coat on before holding the door open for her and they step out into the fresh Kelay air where it is spring, but there is still a little chill, he mentions, "today was quite fun. Thank you for hanging out with us and putting up with my antics, Alvina," there is that genuinely kind grin on his face as he glances sideways down at her.


Alvina holds Xiem's gaze a beat too long. This isn't what she expected to feel. "You did great." Stage fright. How was this man scared of anything? There's no time to think of anything else to say, one of the workers is stealing her away to cheer her generosity and get their promised drinks. She wants to say something more meaningful but when she looks at Xiem she's just filled with more questions than answers. Eventually, the night winds to a close and she finds herself outside waiting once again on a carriage with him. At least she's not crying this time. She'd consider that a win to tell Brennia about later. His comment is casual. Perhaps he's also avoiding the more serious topics so she can keep her balance. She's privately grateful, even if that's not his intention. His song, the words were too familiar to her heart and threatened a repeat of last time. She was still too fragile to address it. "Today was a lot of fun, thank you for inviting me to stay. I didn't expect to get swept up in manual labor or a karaoke battle." Not a battle really but it sounded more fun to say so. Took some of the sting out of their sad songs. His antics. Like he'd done something odd. "Shenanigans, more like." The bard offers him a slight but sincere smile in response and chews on her lip thoughtfully. "When, do you think, it stops hurting?" Dangerous ground to tread given her history of tearfulness. She can't look at him when she asks, focusing instead on a fallen tree just across the road for them. "Replacing the house, replacing the city, replacing the kids schools and activities. Everything is different now but it still feels...like he should be here." Seeing the new house, watching Bryce's soccer practices, picking Luna up from her boyfriend's concerts. Running around the yard with Meadow, taking Harper to therapy. "I agreed to this. I wanted this. So why do I feel this way?"


Xiembantointh will look back on how they held their gaze for too long with a mixture of fondness and guilt drilling a hole in his conscious. Luckily she didn't peep the half second of a tortured expression when she was finally pulled away from him. The rest of the visit goes without a hitch and like a gentleman, he waits for her carriage with her. His ever present grin widens a little more when she admits she did have fun and that makes him all warm inside because he was able to help her have some fun. His casual conversation was genuine, but if she needs to bend someone's ear to the heavier topics, he is more than happy to do that. For anyone, though! Not just Alvina. She is special in her own way, but she probably more than understands that from all the other people in her life. He catches his gaze lingering a little too long on her again and the way her crimson curls shine in the dim lanterns outside the tavern and he blinks a couple times while chuckling softly at her correction of 'shenanigans'. It is while he is rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly that she pulls him back down into reality with her serious question. She is occupying her gaze with whatever across the well worn road that he has not even noticed yet and he truly studies her expression, her body language and her tone as she speaks. He waits for her to finish before draping his arm around her shoulders in a platonic manner because in just a few meetings with Alvina, he feels friendly enough with her to do so. Just a couple of heart broken pals after a hard day's work and he digs down to give her answers because she deserves answers… She deserves so much more, "well," he starts and his warm crackling timbre settles into the still air around them. "I wish I could give a proper timeline, Alvina. I wish there was a roadmap we all could follow to navigate such heart gripping times. The nights seem long and cold without them and the hollow part they used to fit feels like it will always feel unbearably empty," he swallows hard and looks up at the stars twinkling in the night sky. "Eventually, the hurt calluses over and it just becomes a hard nub that doesn't sting so bad when poked at the right way. I look ahead to the day when it doesn't hurt anymore and fool myself into feeling okay until one day I just do feel okay without having to actively think about it." Xiem doesn't know anything about her husband and has nothing to add about his absenteeism, but he does have a suggestion. "Maybe you're scared of your full potential while so much is also changing around you, but also within you and each of your kids. Change is always scary," he offers a reassuring grin down at her just as the carriage pulls up, "and it is okay to feel this way." Xiem is suddenly aware of how great she still smells and is thankful the carriage is already here so he can take a step away from Alvina in order to help her with the door.


Alvina has her eyes trained across the road, lost in thought and struggles to be present. When Xiem drapes his arm over her shoulders, platonic or otherwise, she stiffens in surprise. Anyone who knew her would say Alvina was a physical touch kind of person. She hugged warmly, almost greedily on goodbyes or greetings. She reached for people's hands, arms, faces. Every touch a little burst of 'I care about you', 'I love you'. 'I value you'. As such, she's usually very receptive to receiving contact in this fashion. A surprise hug under normal circumstances would warm her soul. Right now, though, the list of people she wouldn't flinch away from was small. All that to say, in a completely uncharacteristic manner, she stiffens and feels less like herself for it. "Sorry," She apologizes swiftly, letting him speak. She's glad he's looking away. She should make more of an effort to not discuss this topic. His wife, his pain was still fresh in it's way, and in an attempt to lessen her own, she'd pressed on his bruises. What he's saying is true, though. People don't really talk about the silence and space that's left behind after a person is gone. How even the worst moments were better than none. Her daughter's constant distain for the separation only made the gap feel that much wider. To be the source of blame sank Alvina's soul that much deeper. A failed mother and wife. A failed woman who'd killed a small girl. Alvina tries to remember what Brennia'd said. Her lovely friends had said so many encouraging things. As had...anyone she'd spoken with. She wished their confidence did more for her own. Change is always scary. Maybe she's afraid of her potential. No, there's something else she's scared of.

The carriage stops. Dried twigs and leaves crunching under it's wheels. Xiem is holding the door open and she's staring at him with such brazen sincerity. "My greatest fear is not having a voice. Of not having a choice. Of not being seen." She steps forward towards the door, looking down to avoid tripping. "That is the change I'm afraid of." The change where she's erased. Her thoughts and opinions changing into inconveniences and annoyances. She'd spoken before on a similar fear. She needed to be asked, be listened to, be acknowledged and understood. She needed her irrational feelings and fears to be validated with kindness instead of judgement. She did not want her truest feelings to damage her value. It is okay to feel this way. His words make her feel a bit better. His staying beside her while she fell into herself, more than once, makes her feel a bit better. She fears forever that she will just become a number on her husband's ledger. An expense to be settled and forgotten. A scribbled bank note and a disgruntled sigh. And while she was full of hate for the things that had gone wrong, she was tortured more by what had gone right. His indifference to her existence. He hadn't even asked how she was the last time she saw him...like she wasn't even a human being anymore. "Having a voice is wonderful but it means nothing to me if the right people can't hear it." The right people. She couldn't clarify if she tried. "I'm sorry, again, for dragging down a perfectly lovely evening." She touches his forearm as she passes, brief and light. Maybe next time she'll get it right and be less of...whatever this was. "Thank you." For listening and holding the door. Alvina settles herself on the carriage seat and gives Xiem one final, thin lipped smile before the carriage threatens to leave. "Be safe going home."


Xiembantointh moves his hand from the carriage door to her own on his forearm as he goes to stay something, but stops himself. He simply locks his gaze with her emerald eyes and his brow turns down the the seriousness of her words. What would it matter if he told her he always sees her and he will always hear her? Who the heck is he to say something like that to a woman hurting like this? On the other hand, isn’t he hurting too? Doesn’t he want to go through the motions of something of a tryst to fill part of the hole his wife left him with. No, he shouldn’t confuse the both of them now because it isn’t right and he definitely isn’t the right person she wants to hear what she needs to say. It isn’t honorable and most of all it would be horribly unprofessional. The guilt and desire continue to burn as it boils in the pits of his stomach. He nods once and replies with, “no, Alvina. Thank you,” for what? Maybe just for shining her light on him in these small moments no matter how dire the conversation. He returns her smile in the same fashion and closes the carriage door for her while saying, “you as well.” Then he taps the back of the carriage and takes one step back to watch until it becomes nothing but a dot far along the road before disappearing. With a labored sigh, he turns to look at the entrance of the tavern and decides to go for a walk instead.