RP:Together Or Not At All

Part of the The Day I Tried To Live Arc

Summary: On the journey to Chartsend, the starting destination for the Plane of Shadow adventure, a promise of 'the end' is made.

The Tranquility, The Southern Sea

Brand was mid-coitus when he noticed it: an errant bump, lurking where it shouldn’t. A very suspicious rounding of flesh. -The- bump. And yet, for a moment, all he could do was stare at it, slowed but not entirely deterred from his present business. It... couldn’t be? It shouldn’t be. His eyes deceived him, he was sure, but he blinked and shook his head and still the mirage persisted. Yes, there was definitely an unmistakable curve to Khitti’s abdomen, the kind of curve that foretold of many sleepless nights to come, of spoonfeeding and cloth nappies, of the dreaded Domestic Obligation, of commitment such that there could be no escape.

There was no way of knowing how long he’d been frozen in horror when the gravitational pull of her gaze finally drew his eyes upwards. Khitti was smiling. Smiling -at- him, even. She was the very picture of maternal bliss, and the fact that she seemed wholly oblivious to his terror only amplified the frantic thumping in his chest.

But it couldn’t be, and so of course it wasn’t. Brand promptly awoke in a sweat, and with a distinctly un-Brand-like yelp he clambered off the bed, panicking. A sheet followed, still entwined around one leg; it caught on the nightstand in such a way that the glass perched near its edge fell to the floorboards and shattered. By the time the man got his bearings, he’d stumbled all the way to the far wall and was clinging to the carved iron knobs of the wardrobe inset there.

Captain’s Quarters, Tranquility. He knew where he was now. This austere cot was no lover’s bed -- in fact, he’d banned Khitti from settling into his cabin at all. Would be against sailor’s tradition, he’d insisted: the stories went that it made a captain vulnerable, and vulnerability was bad luck. Besides, there was plenty of available lodging, since certain Haathian-related events had left more than a few… vacancies. He’d told her she could have the old First Mate’s cabin, adjacent to his own. He hadn’t yet appointed anyone to that position (though there were several promising contenders), and when he did there were other nearby lodgings they could take.

If Khitti was awake and in her room, he thought, she’d probably heard that ruckus. Sigh. Definitely the glass shattering, at least, and hopefully not the yelping. Brand pulled the wardrobe open, threw on a shirt, and started into cleaning up the broken glass, ears piqued for movement outside his cabin door.

Well, Khitti hadn’t even really put up a fight with the separate room, to be honest. Just as the matter was getting discussed, she’d opened her mouth to declare that she wanted her own room...only to be talked over and given some mansplaining as to why she couldn’t sleep in the same room as Brand. There’d been a bit of eye-rolling and sighing too that he likely just assumed was her attempting to protest or some such. You know how it goes.

And she did, in fact, hear his yelp and that glass breaking. But...there’d be no footsteps hovering at his door, no redhead scurrying to his aid to see if he was alright. Hers -would- be there, and the door would shut behind her, but there was no knock, no nothing. Instead, those booted feet of hers lead her straight to the ship’s kitchen and quite a bit away from the Captain’s room. He very clearly wanted his space, and so did she for that matter, and Dominic was non-existent, so she was certainly alright with being by herself. I mean, how long had she been alone (or as close to alone as one can get with Amarrah) before she even came to Lithrydel? Khitti put Brand’s little “accident” out of her mind, assumed he was fine, and focused on finding some food as she wandered about reading her fairy tale book. She found her food, in the galley, in the form of eggs, a decently-sized steak, and a bit of potatoes, then set to cooking it; it was a meal for one, and she certainly didn’t miss having to cook for others right now.

Khitti’s footsteps came and went without a single hitch in their rhythm, Brand noted. Nor did they return; he had entirely removed the glass shards from his floor and, wherever Khitti had gone, she had no intent of returning anytime soon. Good. Less chance of bumping into her in the hall, then. After that dream he’d just had, it was the last thing he wanted. Leaving his quarters behind, Brand took off down the hall, forking left where Khitti had taken a right. Down a ladder and through a narrow storage corridor was the fastest way to the crew’s quarters. He made a point of coming here at least once a day since he’d acquired the Tranquility, regardless of what else was planned for the day. The crew were the heart of the ship he’d inherited, and Brand meant to become acquainted with its pulse as quickly as possible.

He made his stay there for the next half hour at least, engaging in the chatter, listening to feedback and the daily intel. This was the kind of socializing he excelled at: dancing the line between leader and friend, hearing everyone else’s stories while only ever sharing just enough of his own to breed the necessary feelings of camaraderie. Gods, he’d not realized how much he’d missed filling this kind of niche in the world. He was actually -good- at this. Good at managing people. Good at fighting. Bad at anything to do with Khitti, if her sour mood of late was any indication.

Breakfast was an apple and a handful of peanuts off the betting table. He didn’t have the time to seek out anything more elaborate. The man had a ship to run.

While Brand had his schmoozing to do with his crew, Khitti had...nothing at all planned or any duties to currently attend to and by the gods, she took full advantage of it. She adamantly avoided the crew’s quarters, though not because she knew whether or not Brand was down there, but because it was filled with people, in general. After all the random meet and greets she’d had lately with regards to getting others to help them with the Shadow Plane, she was, for lack of a better word, peopled out.

Furthering the distance between the Catalian and herself, and after she’d finished eating and tended to the dishes, she’d climb ladders and stairs--whatever it took--to get to the deck of the Tranquility. There, she’d climb a bit more, this time up to the crow’s nest of the main mast, however tall it may be. She didn’t hate the sea, as much as she protested to being anywhere near it both during the mission to execute Ameno and the guild’s recent venture that included the weird electrified turtle. It was all in her head, you see, nerves and whatnot. How would you be if things just kept happening one right after the other with no break in between? Your anxiety would be off the charts and you’d probably get a little bitey, whether in the vampiric sense or just by using sharp words. And so she stared from her perch, high above everyone else, down into the depths and across the horizon. Gulls flew past, fish of all kinds swam about beneath and around the ship, and dolphins did that crazy flipping thing they always did--especially this big gray one. He backflip.

Much like Brand had realized how much he missed his mingling with others of his kind, Khitti too concluded she missed the days of sleeping in trees and living away from people, like she was some sort of hermit wild girl or something that was as close to elvenkind as a human could get. It -was- lonely at times, but likewise it was quiet. There was one thing, in particular, that she longed for the most out of all of it (because frankly, sleeping in a tree always ways a bit uncomfortable at times) and that was her freedom. Over the past year and a half, freedom had been a tricky thing to come by for the vampiress, and even after getting rid of Amarrah, she was certain that she’d never truly get it again. Khitti pondered over all of this as she sat there, gazing at nothing in particular as the sun’s rays glittered across the ocean’s surface.

‘Freedom’ was a funny concept to Brand. If his reckoning was correct that he was the ‘original’ entity in this body rather than Dominic, he’d spent nearly two-thirds of his life in captivity. It had been only just over a year since his escape from that life and, if there was one thing he’d learned in that time, there was always -something- to tie you down. If he was right, that made the kid, what, some idealistic manifestation of what could have been if he’d been sheltered from it all? Some life -that- would have been, pfft. Dominic had all but withered away, so hard was he trying to hold on to his illusory sense of ‘freedom’. The kid had shirked all sense of obligation, only to appear when he could savor the rare moments of peace. Well, frak that. Brand -earned- those moments and intended to keep them for himself, dammit. And sure enough, the kid made less and less of a notable presence even in his own head. His voice quieted to a whisper, and good riddance. He’d twisted to become something not even worth protecting anymore.

But, Brand? Brand knew no meaning if not throwing himself at some cause or another. There -was- no freedom, not the way Dominic thought of it, just a choice of what to be beholden to. When you stripped away the outer layers, risking life and limb for Frostmaw’s benefit or even for Khitti’s well-being didn’t look that much different than working for the Daggers. The things he’d done in Lithrydel were a lot more morally sound than what he’d done in Catal and on the Sunderia, sure, but… it was all ultimately just different ways of keeping food in his belly, right?

All of this meandering thought led to the question: what was he doing still following Khitti, if not for Dominic’s sake? Was this what he wanted to be doing? They were so often at odds, even when they were getting along the most. And prophecies were as much a crock of nonsense as he thought they were apparently, because he didn’t think this was what being ‘joined ever more as one’ looked like. Stupid gorram talking trees.

Brand’s path through the Tranquility meandered every bit as much as his mind these few hours; his captaining tasks were extensive today but already near automatic to him. By the time he scaled the rungs that would lead him to the crow’s nest, he’d already set his mind on things other than the vampiress he’d meet at the top -- not that he would have gone up there if he’d realized she was there. The Captain just wanted a view from above, just wanted a moment’s rest with nothing but him and the salted wind. He’d earned it, after all.

Meanwhile, as Brand had done all of this thinking to himself and busied himself with his new occupation, Khitti’d fallen asleep in the crow’s nest--and she’d stay asleep until she heard someone climbing the ladder...and then smelled the very being she’d been trying to avoid just as much as he’d been avoiding her. He was only about half-way up at this point, thankfully, and yet, her mind broke into a panic. This was the last place she wanted to be stuck with him, and her thoughts only edged further in that direction as she peeked over the side and saw him even closer now. Ohgodohgodohgod. The temptation to jump off and into the ocean was there--it practically screamed at her--but, she’d still eventually meet up with him at some point anyway.

But, once he’d arrive, she’d toss her book over the side, aiming to hit the deck, and would then be climbing up onto the side of the nest itself, booted feet balancing precariously as she made one last attempt at decision-making. It was ‘do or die’ time, or in this case, jump or deal with Brand. Never more, than it did right now, did that ocean call to her.

Brand had fully made his way onto the crow’s nest when he saw her, Khitti, hanging from the opposite edge, frozen and staring at him with widened eyes. She’d been hanged by her own indecision, Brand observed, neither fully willing to flee from him nor entirely wanting to stay. And as for Brand, the threads of all his many thoughts came rushing back to the Catalian the instant he caught sight of the redhead. Strung together, all those many threads of thought formed a noose, and Brand was about to put the neck of Dominic’s ghost through the center of it.

“When all of this is over, I’m gonna captain the Tranquility full time,” Brand blurted out, not consciously knowing he’d made the decision until the moment the words left his lips. The words thrust his senses into sharp contrast. Suddenly, the sun seemed too bright and the crow’s nest too small. He became far too aware of his idle hands and so behind his back he clasped them, stern and official-like. If this was to be the moment he declared his future path, best to look certain of it. “I thought you’d want to know. But regardless of how this business with Amarrah and your vampirism ends, there will always be a place for you here if you want it.” He was a landowner telling a favored tenant she could stay rent-free, not a man speaking to his… whatever Khitti was to him. If he was discarding vestiges of Dominic’s fading being, it was only proper that that went, too. “Though, my guess is you’ll be wantin’ to go back to Frostmaw?” Away from him. As far away from him as she could get. His hands seemed wrong behind his back, too, and he rearranged his pose again. His stronger arm outstretched, to help pull Khitti back onto the deck should she want it. Not that she would. It was right that she would want her distance from the mess the three of them had created -- her, and him, and Dominic. Her freedom, so to speak.

So, you’re going to leave, just like that, she thought to herself. Hadn’t she always told him to go, though--both him and Dominic? Things were fading, in her heart, she could feel it, and yet that tiny little bit that still remained almost made her want to cry. It made her feel like she was dying all over again. That heart that didn’t beat ached and moaned and cried out for all of this to cease, for things to actually work out. Khitti tried damned hard to not let it show on her face, though the look of horror it once held shifted to something along the lines of concern or confusion. She stood there still, teetering on the side of the basin that made up the prime lookout spot for the entire ship. Finally, she tore her gaze away from him, as she felt the barest hints of tears starting to well up and forced them away. So, this was probably it then. She’d likely never see him again after Amarrah was gone. Of course, it’s not like she hadn’t heard his offer, but it didn’t feel all that welcoming. He was likely doing it to be nice, if it could even be called that.

It was awhile before she spoke, her verdant stare fixed on the ocean, watching as the waves ebbed and flowed around the ship. “I don’t know vhere I vant to go.” It didn’t really sound like she wanted to go back to that wintry hell. Not alone, not again. “Zhere’s never really been a place zhat suits me. Not properly. It’s not--” Home. Where even was her home now? Wasn’t it with Dominic and Brand? Khitti didn’t continue her thought, shaking her head instead as she finally looked back at him, and that outstretched hand of his, “I’ll probably vander for a bit, you know…? It’s nothing I haven’t done before.” She’d take his hand finally, using his aid to help herself down, soon retracting her own appendage to resume the space between them. But, now there was something different about her, as she righted herself and brushed off anything that might’ve gotten on her clothes during her climb up. The redhead was actually smiling; she was happy--happy for -him- even, as she hid the remainder of those feelings from sight. “I’m glad you’ve found vhat you vant to do finally. You deserve it, after all you’ve been zhrough. You make an amazing captain and I’m sure you’ll do just fine vith zhe ship.”

In the long span before Khitti took his hand and joined him, Brand could hear his heart pounding in his ears. Below, waves met the hull of the ship and sailors went about their duties. The wind whistled past him, strong and favorable for their charted course. All the while, Dominic made not even the slightest protest to Brand’s declarations. Was he even there at all anymore? If there were anything the kid would have made his presence known for, surely this…?

“Home,” Brand murmured, finishing the word Khitti could not, pulling her to her feet, steadying her. “I s’pose this feels like it could be somethin’ like that to me. The Tranquility just -feels- right.” The whole scene felt wrong. There was a complete void of Khitti’s usual snark. Her smile was too bright, and it came too easily. “I thought Frostmaw was yours, but if you mean to wander, peach, you’re welcome to do it here.” Why was he reiterating his invitation to stay aboard? Wasn’t he just thinking of how he needed space from her? Of how, without Dominic, it was best he forged a new path? “Frak, I imagine you could do just about anything you wanted, once you’ve gotten your cure.” He smiled too, in that understated way of his. They were merely friends dreaming of the future. There was nothing to see below the surface.

It was only home because you were there, she wanted to say, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t take this moment of realization, that this was where he belonged now, away from him. Not in Frostmaw. Not in the house they talked about once upon a time. Not with her. It’d be good for Brand, though, to get away from her, after all the time they’d been forced to spend together. That he was forced to be near her, to grow once again to dislike her, just as he had in the past. And yet, he offered for her to come with him, and it only confused her more. Why? He already made it clear that he didn’t want her near him. It was all she could do to keep that smile plastered on her features as she shrugged and gave him an uncertain, half-hearted answer, “I’ll keep it in mind, yeah? I don’t zhink I’m much suited for ship life zhough. It gets too crowded too fast and I’ll be glad for zhe silence of zhe forest again once Amarrah’s gone. Or, I suppose, zhere’s always Larewen’s place.” She hoped he couldn’t tell that she was lying through her teeth, and soon made to distance herself even more from him as she moved to the edge again, having heard footsteps below them.

“Oi! You down zhere!” The vampiress furrowed her brows and scrunched up her face into that look that Brand got so often when they were fighting. “You even zhink about touching zhat book and I’ll personally feed you to zhe sharks myself. And zhen, I’ll feed your entire family to zhem too, “ she shouted and pointed to the unfortunate crewmember some distance beneath them. “Better yet! I’ll turn you into a frakkin’ zombie! How’d you like zhat?!” He didn’t like that, of course. He stared up at Khitti with confused fright, backed away from her precious book slowly, then took off in the other direction. She wasn’t -actually- going to do it, but damn it, people need to keep their hands off her stuff! Khitti watched as the male wandered away rather quickly, stifling a bit of giggling before turning around to face Brand again. The smile would resume, vaguely more genuine now thanks to her small bout of laughter, as she tilted her head in a silent inquiry of whether or not he had anything else to say.

“Oi, be nice to my crew,” Brand admonished, but he was grinning. That man was a fresh recruit, even less acquainted than the rest of them to Khitti’s ways. Brand would have to pull him aside later, explain the way of things when in the vicinity of a Khat. “Poor guy’s barely been here a week. You’ll scare him off again.” For a moment, as he grinned, the colors seemed to right themselves again. Brand held her in a prolonged gaze, drinking her in (and noting, to some relief, that it -had- in fact been a dream and Khitti was most definitely not carrying a child. He knew this, but it couldn’t hurt to verify it anyway). “That’s my one condition. For you stayin’ here, I mean. You come and go as you like, even after you’ve got your cure n’ everything, s’long as you don’t frak with how I run my ship too much.” The gaze had lingered too long, and Brand finally seemed to realize it. It dropped again to the waves below, and Brand sought a grip against the railing, turning somewhat away from Khitti in the process.

Khitti’s gaze lingered much longer than his did, as he turned away, that smile of hers fading when he was no longer looking. She’d keep the cheerful tone, though, as she spoke up again, moving to a side adjacent to him, leaving a bit of room still between them. “Nah. You should know me better zhan zhat. I’m not about to mess up a good zhing for you. Maybe a prank or two now and again, but nothing serious. Zhis is -your- ship and I’m just a bit of a stowaway zhat you and everyone else just so happens to know about.” There’s a pause, and then she adds reassuringly, “I’ll be sure to stay out of your vay, if I do stick around.” She’d finally shift her gaze away from him, turning about much like he had to gaze at the ocean, leaning over onto the railing with both arms to rest her head on.

Brand leaned further outward shortly after Khitti did. His elbows rested on the rails with his forearms stretched out, palms turned toward the sky as if in prayer or meditation. Brand did neither of these things, of course, though some of the crew had recently led a prayer circle to Selene and he’d attended that. It was good for morale. “Please. You’re not a gorram stowaway. We’re headin’ to Chartsend for -you-, y’know.” Well, that, and the oodles of cargo they’d been commissioned to transport there from Rynvale. Sundance had done well, procuring that contract.

“I mean -later-, if I do go vith you...and it vas a joke. Geez.” Khitti’d roll her eyes at him, though it’d go unknown by him. “I told you before, none of you -need- to go. I don’t -need- your ship to get zhere. I don’t -need- anyone.” That was a bit of a lie, but she wasn’t going to admit it. Her defensiveness on the subject was obvious, but she dialed her irritation back enough that it was set on a slow simmer instead of boiling over, letting silence linger, after if and when, he’d make his retort.

“You von’t go too far...vill you?” Khitti would pause briefly after the inquiry, feigned curiosity lingering in the air as she realized how odd the question sounded after her insistence that she didn’t need anyone at all. “I’m sure Lionel vill miss you a bit. I zhink he’s taken a liking to you--especially if he calls you family. Zhe entire time I knew him, before you came about, he never once mentioned anything ‘family’ ever.” There was no mention of her being included in that, of course. Her family was either dead or now preparing to leave her--even if he did just invite her along--and Lionel had enough companions, whether they were subordinates, friends, or groupies, that he didn’t really need Khitti around either. No one -actually- needed her and most, she was discovering, didn’t want her either--she was too much trouble the majority of the time to be worth a damn.

Whether or not Khitti was successful at masking the contradictions behind her words, Brand wasn’t going to call her on it. “The thought of leavin’ Lithrydel behind hadn’t even entered my mind ‘til just now,” he admitted, “and there’s too many of the crew who’ll want shore leave here to venture far. It’s no Sunderia. Some of them actually have partners here, children.” And Brand, didn’t he have family of a sort? Even as much effort as he’d put into captaining, it surely wasn’t the crew. Lionel and Khitti threw around the word like they knew what it meant, like they wanted to include Brand in their definition, but he still wasn’t so sure it was something he could claim. “But Lionel’s a man stretched twenty different ways. He can call me family all he likes, but I imagine only gettin’ stretched nineteen for a while will be a relief.”

Khitti could only nod at him in silence, though whether or not he saw it depended on whether or not he looked her way. She couldn’t manage a verbal response to him currently, as she was much too busy fighting off that nagging feeling to flee from him again. And so, she said nothing and just gazed at the sea’s waves as they drifted back behind the boat, feeling some sort of kinship with them, because here -again- she felt like she was getting left behind. Her gaze was caught, momentarily, by those tattoos on her wrists she’d acquired from Meri, and Khitti was quick to frown at them, pulling her sleeves down overtop of them. Why did she even get those? Even then she knew things were fading, and yet she decided to get them anyway. Well, there was nothing to be done about it now, and it’d only serve as a reminder to not let this happen again, with anyone--heart on a spike and all that.

Finally, pale arms would push themselves away from the railing as the redhead pivoted about, taking a couple steps towards where the ladder was located. “I zhink, after all of zhis is over vith, I’m going to maybe stick to Chartsend,“ she decided, “Never stayed zhere much, besides a day or so vhen I got off zhe boat. Plenty of places for me to vork at zhere, zhough.” Plenty of jobs I can’t screw up--not this spirit-guarding business or Lionel’s aide-de-camp. “After zhat, I may try to go back to Dhavislaav.” It was potentially a death sentence, but it seemed the farthest away from him she could get at this point. The mountains of Frostmaw certainly weren’t enough, and now they held too many memories.

“Dhavislaav?” That statement surprised him enough to actually turn towards her. “You’d go all that way?” The thought seized his chest in iron claws, and he couldn’t quite articulate why except that he’d assumed that she’d still be, y’know… around. Somewhere. Somewhere not too far. “I thought you were exiled. Besides, how the frak would you even get back there?” Well, probably similarly to how they were going to the version of her homeland on the Shadow Plane. But Brand wouldn’t take the Tranquility that far on this plane, nor would most ships that made anchor at Lithrydel. It would take far too long for a destination most hadn’t even heard of.

Khitti blinked at Brand a few times as he actually turned towards her, brows knitting together in confusion. But, she soon gave him that reassuring smile that she’d been able to keep up for most of the duration of their conversation and only shrugged. “I am, but it’s been so long since I’ve been zhere zhat I doubt anyone vould recognize me. Zhe red hair vould have to go, of course. It’s not zhe first time, zhough. My hair vas as dark as Dominic’s at one point and as light as Meri’s. Costs a bit more over zhere because no one is allowed to use magic, but, it’s not like I’ve got to vorry about money for a bit anyway. I’d probably deal vith it before I even got zhere.” She shrugged again, the smile shifting into a grin as she continues, “You’re not zhe only one zhat’s good at fooling people, you know. I could honestly probably just change my hair and my name and be perfectly fine zhere. As for zhe ‘how’, I’m sure I’ll find a vay. Travelling has always been zhe easy part.” The vampiress actually sounded convinced of her own lie now--and that’s because she was. The more she talked about it, the better it was starting to sound. Even the thought of disappearing to the Shadow Plane for a time crossed her mind…

Brand took his time contemplating that answer, debating what his own should be. When he finally responded, it was with an air of confidence. “You won’t go.” She couldn’t. “You won’t go, because no matter how careful you are, sooner or later someone’d find out you had magic. Maybe it happens one day as a reflex -- someone is about to die and it’s the only way to save them. Maybe over time you get complacent, someone ends up in the wrong place at the wrong time, goes peepin’ into your garden or your window, sees your magic when you think you’re alone. All it would take is one tiny misstep over the course of decades. You’d never stop havin’ to look over your shoulder.” He shook his head. “Never even frakkin’ mind the necromancy. Lithrydel’s rather unique in that it looks the other way, so long as certain lines aren’t crossed. Even once Amarrah and your vampirism go, you still have that, I figure.”

Her smile faded, over time, the longer he went on. She fidgeted in silence, messing with the hem of her sleeves as he spoke, her line of sight falling away from him and onto the wooden boards beneath her feet. “...You can’t ever just let me try to be happy about something...can you?” Her tone was that of defeat, her words calm and a bit sad; she didn’t have the heart for an all-out argument with him right now. “You always have to muck it up vith your cynicism and your know-it-all logic because you’ve be around longer and seen practically everything. Can’t you just let me pretend zhat zhings might turn out okay for once, for me, when nothing else does?” Khitti sighed, hanging her head somewhat, “I’ve never -stopped- having to look over my shoulder...vhy vould zhe future be any different?” A pause. “You said it yourself, people like us don’t get happily ever afters like all zhose fairy tales...but I can at least pretend I might some day, even if it never comes.”

Brand threw his hands up in a show of exasperation and began stalking back for the ladder. “You’re right, peach. You don’t need me to be your keeper anymore. Do as you will. You don’t want my advice, don’t gorram heed it.” As if extricating himself from her would really be that easy. As if he could really just walk away from her and never glance back. Even now, before his first step downwards was taken, he looked towards her and paused as if aware he might be taking in the sight of her for something close to the last time. “But you do that, you’ll remember me when your idealism is the death of you.” And you won’t be the first.

Khitti made sure to get out of his way as he stormed past, her demeanor taking an even dour turn as he gave that final warning. “It makes sense now...everything does.” She chuckled a little and smiled again, albeit bitterly. “He really is just like you-” Dominic, of course “--hardhearted, selfish, a complete fool. Just took it a little vhile to catch up to him, especially vith me around making zhings difficult.” The expression on her face died as she looked at him again for the first time in awhile, a frown now present and tears to accompany it, “You go on and you live on zhis ship...and you never stop running...never slow down for anything or anyone. Zhere’s no point. No point in you stopping to see vhat’s around you anymore because it doesn’t matter--it’s never mattered to you, ever. Not zhe people or zhe places. Zhere’s no point because zhere von’t be anything zhere for you...not anymore.” Her bottom lip trembled a little and Khitti promptly rolled her eyes at it, in defiance, because all those feelings she’d had been bottling up away from him were spilling out finally. “You keep running because sooner or later, it -is- gonna catch up to you and you’re gonna be vishing you stopped a hell of a long time ago.”

Brand could have his damned lookout spot if he wanted it, for she returned to that perch he’d found her on before, when she couldn’t decide on jumping or not--for the record, she was definitely going to do it now. “You once said ‘together or not at all’, Brand, and I’m making a decision now.” She paused. “After Amarrah’s gone and I’ve got my cure, I -never- vant to see you again. Ever.” Khitti mustered another small, bittersweet smile for him, “Soon, you von’t be anything but a memory to me. Both of you.“ Her arms twisted to show those tattoos of hers to him before she allowed her wrists to retreat back underneath her sleeves, to signify that -they- would serve as the memory. “And I -vill- finally be happy. ” Alone. Like it was always meant to be. Khitti turned carefully on the railing, then jumped down the several feet that spanned the length of the ship’s mast, landing ever so cat-like at the bottom. Retrieving her book, she’d return to the room that was loaned to her for the time being, and he’d likely not see her again until they got to Chartsend.

Brand let Khitti rant, let her be the one to turn away and leave. What was the point in doing otherwise? This was as inevitable as all the fights before it, and never had he known someone who so infuriatingly resisted seeing reason the way she did. The vampiress’ latest words were nothing but barbs -- they were created to sting, and so Brand would make himself numb to them. Numb. Numb, he was good at. He’d be good at it this time, too.

Brand, his fists throttling the rail, looked out to the horizon. The sun was setting, and they were heading straight towards it.