RP:The Subtle Science And Exact Art Of Potion-Making

This is a Necromancer's Guild RP.

Summary: Khitti practices her poison and potion-making, and Brand... well, Brand is Brand.

The Tranquility, Cenril Wharf

Khitti || Work was not going to happen today. At least in Kelay anyway. Why? Because it was hella close to Larket and… going near there was a bad idea right now. Resigning herself to research instead, Khitti shoved everything in the Tranquility’s armory to one side of the room, set up two long tables with various alchemical supplies, grabbed her alchemy and herbology books that she’d borrowed from the Necromancer’s and Mage’s Guilds’ libraries and set herself down on a stool in front of the tables. For a lot of things lately, Khitti was having to go all out with her magic. So much so that it’d leave her in need of those things her writer calls coma-naps. This… wasn’t always a good thing. Especially not when you’re in the middle of dragon territory in Rynvale. Thankfully, she was not eaten that day and Zahrani had watched over her. But, it was a problem she needed to remedy quickly, especially with war looming over everyone’s heads again--or, at least, over the Mage’s Guild and Larket’s heads. Once everything was officially set up, Khitti started flipping through one of the books. “Tranquility, Toxin Mode please.” In much the same way the room had magically changed during one of her training sessions with Quintessa, the room’s walls flashed a bright sickly green, the light soon dissipating as the enchantment took hold. See, Khitti cares about Brand. So much so that she took many precautions to not destroy his firstborn child. Spoilers: that’s the Tranquility.

Brand wasn’t going to get any work done today, not least of all because he didn’t frakking want to. The Tranquility’s last contract had been hectic, and he’d gone at least two weeks without a proper day off. So yes, today was finally a day for relaxation. He was perfectly content to mind his own business, enjoy some drinks and lounge about reading a book. But alas, it was not to be. An alarm chirped from the portrait of the Tranquility inlaid into his desk, and when he peered at it he saw a green light blink from the part of the map that represented the Armory. And what on earth could that mean? Brand wasn’t sure, so unfortunately he’d have to investigate. Sighing, he set his book down and moved through the halls and down the stairs until he came to the correct room, and… of course. Khitti. Honestly, he should probably set the magicked table to ignore alerts related to her, but that would require yet -another- trip to the local enchanter and he wasn’t going to have time for that until -at least- some time next month. And besides, the damage was already done. He was already here, and not chillaxing half the ship away. Sigh. “Hey. The ship thinks you’re up to somethin’. Are you up to somethin’?” A simple question, but he knew he wasn’t likely to get a simple answer. Not from Khitti.

Khitti || Joke’s on you, Brand. You’re gonna get a simple answer. “Of course it knows I’m up to something. I told it I was. I’m nice enough these days to take precautions to not implode your ship, you know. I’m no Callum with this alchemy stuff.” It’d felt like forever since she’d started leafing through the herbology book. Unfortunately for her, she couldn’t quite remember what herb Karasu had said was in that potion she’d given Khitti several weeks back. “What the hell was it called? Zapdos? Zigzagoon? Zoicite? Ziggy’s Stardust?” No, Khitti. None of those are it. You’re close at least. Eventually, she found what she was looking for. This was made evident by her immediate ‘aha!’. “Zorata. ‘Used in magic restoratives’,” she said reading the description. “Felt more like that potion Quintessa’s girlfriend gave years back to whatever’s left of my life--not some damn mana potions. It must be potent stuff.” Khitti stopped, blinked, then looked at Brand, “Do you realize how much damage we could do if the two of us were stocked up with mana potions before we went on some “adventure”?”

Brand was going to pretend he knew what a ‘mana’ was. “I’m pretty sure the answer is ‘a buttload.’ Yeah?” He entered the room proper now, picked up one of Khitti’s books, and started leafing through it. “What about this one? This one looks fun.” The picture was of a skull-shaped bottle in a bright and sickly green, and the description went on to say something about giving one’s enemies a lethal bout of gastrointestinal problems. A messy poison, but certainly an effective one if the goal was to cause someone as much anguish as possible before they died.

Khitti gasped at Brand. It was definitely faked and kinda sounded like something a southern belle would do. “Brand! You want to make poisons with me?! How romantic,” she said, batting her eyes at him. “I’m not gonna lie. Finding new ways to get rid of people with you is kind of hot.” Yeah, she said it. You apparently said the magic words, Brand. It’s not clear what the magic words are entirely, but you said them. Looks like you might get some proper “alone time” later. “I need to make magic restoratives too. I’ve become increasingly more aware of how tired I get after using way too much magic. I guess I’ve been overdoing it lately. That dragon hunt Meri and I went on recently? I had to take a nap. In the middle of a dragon egg nursery area. I was that tired. If I make these, I can at least make it home before I collapse.” She finally fully eyed the recipe Brand had pointed out. “Wow, that’s evil. It’s perfect for Macon. And maybe Josleen. And maybe that stupid yappy dog of theirs.”

Brand gave her a strange look, then began flipping pages toward the front of the book, perhaps looking for the table of contents. “Maybe you’re pregnant again. I don’t get tired, not like that.” What he said -should- have been a joke, given how seriously they took their contraception after baby #1, but he sure didn’t look like he was joking. His brows were furrowed as he ran his index finger down a page, paused, then started flipping pages wildly again. “I mean, I get like… physically exhausted from the physical parts of a fight. A mage is dead if he can’t dodge. But tired from spells? Nah.” He apparently found what he was looking for, because he tore a particular page out of the book, folded it up, and stuck it in his shirt pocket. Hope that wasn’t a library book, Khitti.

Khitti squinted at Brand, then rolled her eyes. “Yes, well, we haven’t all been doing this mage stuff since we were a kid. I might’ve -had- the ability to do so back then, but it wasn’t anything like this. So, no. I’m not pregnant. Trust me. -You would know.-” The last of her words had a bit of a bite to it as she turned away, angrily grabbing bottles of herbs from the table. “Did you somehow manage to forget what my magic was like when we first met? I don’t exactly have vampiric stamina anymore either.” A jar of wolfsbane was plucked up and promptly slammed down onto the table in front of her. Milk thistle? Valerian? Check and check. Pineapple juice? Yes, there was even that too. Because you could literally use anything in alchemy. And finally, aloe vera in gel form. To make it all go down nice and smooth-like. “And I’m trying to expand my magic too. I can’t frakking wield black lightning and obsidian without knowing what the hell I’m supposed to do with elemental magic to begin with.” The dried herbs were all placed in a mortar and ground to a powder, Khitti using every bit of her irritation to beat the hell out of it. She was only halfway through it when Brand ripped a goddamn page out of what was definitely a library book!! “What the hell are you doing?! That’s not ours! What even -is- that?” Khitti tried to grab at his shirt pocket and pull the paper out of it. She’d fight him if she had to, damn it.

Brand || A mage is dead if he can’t dodge. Unfortunately for Brand, he didn’t. He was dead now. RIP. He’d yelped and tried to rescue the slip of paper from Khitti’s grasp, but she’d gotten the jump on him and he wasn’t fast enough to recover. When Khitti opened the folds, she’d find… a sleeping draught?? Brand was quick to snatch the paper back out of her grasp, but perhaps not quick enough. In any case, he was running away now. Byyyyyyyye.

Khitti || Silly Brand. Did you forget Khitti can teleport? Sheesh. You’ve forgotten a lot of things in your old age. “HEY! GET BACK HERE!” He’d get a decent headstart on her, of course. But then she’d cheat and shadowstep in front of him. And then she’d block the way behind him with a wall of ice! How rude! “You gonna tell me what you need a sleeping potion for? Or am I going to have to t--” No. Don’t say the word ‘torture’. That’s a bad word right now. “--ickle it out of you? I’ll do it. I remember you’re ticklish and I will never forget.” It had been one of the most hilarious things him and Dominic 1.0 shared that Khitti discovered. And he’d been so angry about it too! Which made it even better. “I’ll do it!” Grabby hands reached out at Brand, fingers wiggling threateningly.

Brand || “To frakkin’ sleep!” Brand cried, and ducked under one of Khitti’s arms. Suddenly he was running off again, shoving crates from the hall behind him to obstruct her path. Once he got enough of a lead on her that he stood a chance of losing her, he turned a corner and dove into the infirmary, shutting the door behind him. Time to hide, possibly forever. This was fine! Everything was fine.

Khitti || “I think that’s pretty obvious!” He got away again and Khitti could only let out a frustrated sigh. Okay. Time to be the calm and collected one for once. It’s fine. You can do this Khitti. “I’ll help you make it, Brand,” she called rather loudly--hopefully enough that he could hear her. “But you need to talk to me first!” She picked up the crates here and there, the time it took to do so giving her enough time to try to think over the situation and maybe for Brand to stop running. Unfortunately for Brand though, he’d stepped into Lennier’s world and… Lennier was definitely -in- his world right now. Dealing with a patient who needed a couple stitches. Much more calm and collected than Khitti could ever hope to be, the elf just stared at Brand as he hid and cleared his throat to get his captain’s attention. Meanwhile, Khitti was making her way around the ship, peeking into rooms that were seemingly unoccupied.

Brand just put a finger to his lips as he hopped onto a reclining chair, pulled a sheet over his body, and closed his eyes. He was dead now. Just a dead body. Nothing to see here. Lennier would soon finish the work on his patient and send them on their way before folding the sheet down to Brand’s shoulders. “I don’t know what you’re hiding from,” said the elf, “but I don’t think this is going to work.” Brand only scowled and hid himself under the sheet again.

Khitti would eventually find her way to the infirmary and peeked into that room, just as she had with the others after the patient had left the room. “Lennier, have you seen Brand? He’s being weird again,” she said, taking a look around the room, her line of sight eventually settling on the “dead body” underneath the sheet. “What the hell happened? Did someone die?” Khitti’s morbid curiosity was peaked and while curiosity wouldn’t kill the Khat today, it might kill the Brand. She crossed the room and pulled down the sheet slowly… slooooowly… to find a Brand underneath it. She just stared at him. A lot. And tried to hide a smirk. “Oh no. Brand is dead. I guess it’s time to move on. Time to go find a new husband that knows how to talk to me about things. Whatever will I do about all that cheesecake I made this morning?” Every word she said was extremely deadpan as she stared directly at Brand’s face, almost unblinkingly like that long lost child of hers from an alternate universe. “Alas! Poor Brand!” She sighed in a somewhat sad fashion, putting the back of her hand to her forehead. It soon changed though when she got an idea. “Oh, you know what? I think I’ll just go ask Tiber if he wants to be my boyfriend. He’s Catalian. He’s on his way to being an alcoholic. Likes feisty women.” She shrugged and started to wander off hoping Brand would take the bait and stop being dead.

Brand ’s eyes popped open like that meme of a cartoon squid not being able to sleep. “CHEESECAKE?!” He leapt off of the chair, got his legs tangled up in the sheet, and almost faceplanted. When he stood up, his eyes were wild, like that other meme of a caveman sponge. “GIVE IT TO ME.” All thoughts of the potion and him trying to run away from Khitti were gone. There was now cheesecake, only cheesecake.

Khitti stopped, turned around, and gave Brand such a look. Cheesecake? That’s all he cared about was -cheesecake-? What about her, hmm? Sigh. She really couldn’t blame him though. It was good cheesecake. The best cheesecake. “Come on,” Khitti said, holding her hand out for Brand to take it so she could lead him out of the room like she does with Dominic. She also mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ to Lennier on the way out. Hokay. New plan. Cheesecake. Get Brand to talk. Get back to potion and poison-making. They’d get to the galley and she get the whole damn ten inch wide strawberry cheesecake cake out of the icebox, the strawberry sauce she’d made to go over top of it, and the various eating utensils and plates needed for him to devour the thing. “Sit. Eat. Tell me what’s wrong.” And just to be safe? She iced the entire door. Don’t try to use logic that Brand can just melt it. Logic + Khitti + Brand doesn’t always equal anything smart. “Or… we can make a trade. You can tell me what’s bothering you… and I can tell you what’s bothering me.” Besides Larket. That’s obvious.

Brand could be bribed pretty easily, when it was Khitti and cheesecake doing the bribing. “Okay, fine.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s stupid, anyway. I just haven’t slept quite right since the thing with those stupid Shadow Plane trees. I thought maybe your book would have something, and it did. I dunno why I thought hiding it was going to work.” He devoured a cheesecake bite almost as big as his head, then chewed thoughtfully. “Okay, I spilled the beans. Now it’s your turn.”

Khitti frowned as she watched Brand eat his cheesecake. “That place kind of does that to people I guess…” She wasn’t going to directly bring up the torture he endured. She didn’t have to. Even that aside, the Shadow Plane was definitely not a place for everyone. “But, you don’t have to hide it and obviously there’s ways to deal with it until things are a little more manageable.” Khitti shrugged and shoved cheesecake into her own mouth, thinking over her own problem. “I think Tenbatsu Kaji is going to leave me soon,” she said at length, eventually stuffing more food into her face. “There’s been… problems… since that day with “the trees”. And since this whole thing with Larket and Quintessa and the Mage’s Guild happened… it’s gotten worse.”

Brand shoved another huge bite of cheesecake into his mouth. He was at least swallowing before he talked instead of talking with his mouth full. He could have manners… sometimes. “And what happens if it does? I mean, you didn’t always have that sword, so…”

Khitti shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s not like I was anymore normal without it. I don’t think I lose my holy magic at least? That’s completely separate now. I don’t use the sword’s magic anymore, like I used to.” She ate up the last bit of cheesecake and pushed her plate to the side. “I guess I just go back to being a weirdo with -one- sword. Which means I’m going to need to replace it. And pay money for it. And research what kind of metal I want it made out of.” Khitti let out a heavy sigh and faceplanted on the table. “Whatever. Quintessa thinks it’s hindering my magic anyway. Stupid god sword. I didn’t even want it in the first place… Didn’t ask for it and now it’s treating -me- like crap…” Yeah, she was mumbling angrily to herself at this point.

Brand put a hand on Khitti’s shoulder and shook her a little. “Is it possible to beat up that spirit? Because if it’s treating you like crap, it needs to be beat up. Gotta teach it a lesson.” Brand was almost never serious… but he was serious about this. Poor dude didn’t really understand the concept of an ethereal being, apparently.

Khitti || “What? I’m not going to do that. Were you not listening? I said ‘god sword’. The gods brought me back and they can very well undo it too, you know.” Khitti got up from her chair, put her dishes in the sink for now, and stood next to the cheesecake. If Brand wanted more, he better hurry and get it before she put it back in the icebox. “It’s not like I don’t deserve it, I guess. It’s not -as- bad as it sounds. Seika really hasn’t talked to me since we came back from the Shadow Plane and lately it’s just been like… warning zaps. I dunno. I guess -someone- has to keep me in line somehow so I don’t turn into Larewen or Macon and Josleen.”

Brand || “That’s ridiculous.” Brand might have gone for another slice of cheesecake normally, but today he’d had the foresight to just get one big slice right at the start. He was still finishing it. “The frak kinda weapon gives you ‘warning zaps’? Does it think you’re a dog in need of training? Now I wanna kick its ass even more.” Yes, Brand was aware the sword didn’t have an ‘ass’. It didn’t stop him from wanting to kick it. Ideally, into the ocean.

Khitti rolled her eyes at Brand and put the cheesecake away. “Look, a person has to be a sort of way in order to use that sword. I -used- to be that way for a little while, but you know me. I can’t have anything nice for too long before things go belly up like a goddamn dead fish and I get a little moody. You’re not the only one whose head got messed with all that Jessamine and James stuff.. It may not have been directly, but it was enough to make me feel like I really don’t want to be quite so much of a nice person. Seika can sense that stuff. And now I’ve got Quintessa and Larket to worry about too? It’s probably fine and I’m probably overthinking it and Seika knows I’m stressed out and not thinking right and is trying to get me on the right path again.” Hopefully. Maybe. Despite what Khitti said, she was still going to keep overthinking it. “It’s honestly not any different than Onyx yelling at me all the damn time. Now, I have work to do. If you want help with those sleep draughts, then hurry up.” And with that, she’d head back to the armory.

Brand shoveled the remaining cheesecake into his mouth with great haste, then trotted after Khitti. By the time he caught up, they were almost back at the armory. “So, these magic restoratives. Do you just chug them in the middle of battle, or…?”

Khitti stopped just long enough to let Brand catch up to her when she heard him catching up with her and then continued on, finally settling herself back down at the table she was at. “Yes. I imagine it’s probably easiest to keep them in small jars or vials. The poison would come first, as she’d already started gathering the ingredients for that before the whole Brand Escapes Into The Void Unseen debacle. “Anything that can be easily uncorked.” She finished crushing the dried herbs that’d been left in the mortar into powder and then dumped them into a large empty jar. The pineapple juice and aloe were also thrown in and voila! Instant stomach ache. She swirled it all around a bit in the jar, then handed the jar to Brand. “Don’t actually drink that. You can test it out on someone on the ship or something if you want, but only use a few drops. Save the larger amounts for people that actually deserve it,” she said with a smirk. And then it was on to the sleep potion. “Lavender. -A lot- of lavender apparently…” Said herb was retrieved and thrown into the mortar, along with chamomile, magnolia bark, a little bit of valerian root, and some poppy and hops for anxiety. “Okay, so… you’re going to want to crush it up a bit. Not too fine though, but you also don’t want a lot of big pieces. This one’s a tea recipe, which is much easier than the one I had to use a few years back.” Khitti pushed the mortar and pestle over to Brand so he could do it himself.

Brand ground the herbs in the way Khitti had instructed, stopping occasionally to check on the size of the pieces in the mortar. “Go figure that this would end up being a tea.” He left it unsaid, but Khitti would probably recognize that he was thinking of Dominic-the-first, the obsessive and exacting tea drinker. Brand didn’t -dislike- tea, but it was never his go-to so much as his former brain-counterpart. “Okay, there. What do you think?” He passed over the mortar for Khitti’s inspection.

Khitti || “I mean… I suppose you could put it in any liquid. Tea’s just the easiest route. Could make up a separate batch and make that one much finer and put it in a bottle of whiskey. It’d take a few days to infuse but…” Khitti shrugged. If Brand decided to do that, that was on him. “Do -not- drink the whole bottle in one go. I don’t particularly feel like dealing with Sleeping Jerkface because someone decided to drink too much.” She was kidding, of course, and poked him in the cheek to let him know this. “Maybe just a shot or two. Stuff’s potent. If you manage to knock yourself out good, I’ll just let Dominic draw chickens all over you with my charcoal pencils.” Pushing the necessary herbs towards his side and a couple empty jars, in case he did indeed want to do that, Khitti set to finding her own for the magic restoratives.

Brand tried to conceal a smirk. “Maybe I -like- having chickens drawn on me, though. Did you consider that?” She wouldn’t have, and he knew this. Because if he’d -really- wanted chickens drawn on himself, well… he could always go to Meri and get more tattoos. He already had the one. “I’m gonna go try this now. Don’t blow up the ship while I’m unconscious, y’hear?”