RP:Rowen rat saves the entire universe again

Setting

Hanging Corpse Tavern 18th Sept 2011

That damn giant rampaging in his skull had come close to breaking free.

Valentin grunts, about as surly as a stabbed, glass-gouged, and hungover vampire can be. Damn women. All o'them too chatty by far. He raises his last full glass in salute - the easiest greeting, as it left the glass conveniently close to his lips. Five empties. He fishes out another gold coin, places it on the counter, and waits for Steadman to notice it. Thus far, the one-eyed man had been pretty much on target and quick to respond. He could swear that damn giant rampaging in his skull had come close to breaking free.

Rowen the rat is curled up in a bar towel behind a jar of pickled eggs, snug, warm, and comfortable.

Jolie stepped toward the bar, those heels of hers marking a loud -tick-tick-tick.. like a death watch beetle in a wall somewhere, or a tell tale heart. only more.. irritating. "How's the head?" Her tone was bright as she addressed the vampire. "Still a bit fuggy, is it?" One elbow would prop to the bar when she halted to peer at Valentin. "You've been pushing it. That's good, don't get me wrong. You -do- know there's a way around the backlash. Don't you?"

Rowen sticks her head out of the warm and cozy towel. Sleepily she calls "Bring me eleven thousand and three pieces of asparagus exactly 67 mm long!"

Jolie had no idea how long that was. "Sorry, the asparagus is off. What about a nice biscuit."

Sorry, the asparagus is off. What about a nice biscuit?

Valentin was about ready to try killing the damn wench for that bright tone o'voice, he really was. Win or lose, his misery'd be lessened. But then those final words filtered through the surges of agony and premeditated murder thumping through his head. He grinds words past clenched teeth, the effort of speaking ridiculously uncomfortable "Reckon I don't. Reckon the bastard what necked me liked t'see me squirm. Wha's th'way 'round it?"

Jolie gave Valentin another cheery smile. "Herbal poultice. Mildly toxic, might make you a little giddy. But it soothes away the horribles nicely. Would you like one?"

Rowen mutters "Yeah, an imperial biscuit will suffice. Yah got room on yah shoulder for a lil' supreme empress, Jolie my dear?"

Jolie said to Rowen, "Actually..." she made her arm a runway for the rat to run up. "You could help me a little bit, dear, if you liked. I need a few things gathered, out of my garden. Could you scurry up and fetch them for me? Fresh is always best, as they say."

The tavern could easily become a one-patron joint with Valentin downing wine and patrons with equal pragmatic determination

Valentin grimaces. There it was again. That bloody cheerful voice. Ah, there's Steadman with round six. The butcher takes the glass, and downs it in preparation for an epic, skullshivering speech "That'd be marv'lous. Might be able t'avoid doin' somethin' regrettable t'the noisy bastards askin' me 'bout the stab wounds, innit." Jolie was probably safe, but if the unconscious man at the butcher's feet with the badly broken nose was any indication, the tavern could easily become a one-patron joint with Valentin downing wine and patrons with equal pragmatic determination.

Jolie, whether Rowen took the offered arm or not, would set to bustling about behind the bar before replying to Valentin. A series of items were produced from various under-shelves, including a mortar and pestle and a white towel-like cloth. "It won't fix the primary channels for magic, you'll just have to wait for those to heal," she explained. "But it will help the malaise along marvellously. I don't, however, recommend operating any heavy beasts of burden.. as I said, it might make you a bit dizzy."

What can I get you? "Palm trees? A watermelon? Asparagus? An umbrellastand?

Rowen said to Jolie, "But of course, but of course. I am a benevolent empress, always willing to help my loyal subjects."She scampers up the offered arm."What can I get you? "Palm trees? A watermelon? Asparagus? An umbrellastand?"" Valentin could handle dizzy. Dizzy was annoying, but not as incapacitatin' as 'splodin' head syndrome, as Valentin was starting to call the backlash hangover. "That'd be 'preciated, mam'selle"

Jolie scribbled a list on a bar napkin, "Mandrake root.. a few leaves of nightshade, two berries of the same.. trumpet lily... oh, and five of those little blue mushrooms growing under the big hemlock. And a sprig of hemlock." This was folded and set in the rat's singular hand. "There we are."

Vailkrin's highly lax food and beverage regulations

Jolie muttered, searching shelves for the dried ingredients she'd need. Where was powdered centipede when one needed it? She sighed.Mummified arrow frog and blowfish gonads would just have to do. And why these items were stored around a public bar might be explained by Vailkrin's highly lax food and beverage regulations.

Valentin notes the Archmosian Daric on the waving newcomer's hands "G'dammit, I'm not in any condition t'go cuttin' off hands, mam'selle"

Ordox quickly slips the Daric into his palm, allowing his flesh to melt over it in order to keep it hidden from prying eyes. He is cautious as he approaches the group, remembering Jolie's wrath from the previous day and not wishing to incur it once again.

Jolie said to Valentin, "Hm?" And glanced about. The glance narrowed. "Oh. Another day, then." She got along with her poultice-making, tucking her shirt up over nose while she crushed amphibian and ichthyous ingredients to a fine, acrid powder.

A xylophone with brass bits wot you hit maybe?

Rowen nods seriously, keeping tight hold of the note. "Dem blue mushrooms? You wants the orange ones or the yellow ones? Also if I can'ts find no trumpet lily will other brass instruments suffice, like a trombone or a saxophone or a xylophone with brass bits wot you hit maybe?"

Jolie said to Rowen, "No.. no. Just what's on the list. It's all there, in my garden, dear." She smiled. "You may eat the yellow mushrooms yourself if you like, they're delicious and offer a boost of energy. Everything will look blue for a few days, mind, if you eat too many. Now off you go"

Valentin decides with a grimace that if the talking rat brought back any part of an orchestra, let alone attempt to play the instruments, he would have to kill it.

Rowen scampers off into the garden, soon the tavern door opens once more, but it is not Rowen having forgotten what is Sven's name she went into the garden for. It is another of Jolie's friends, the gentle healer Sophie, followed by the same wretched terrified drow slave from this morning. Sophie smiles at Jolie, but gives the butcher a -very- wide berth.

Jolie said to Valentin, "As for you. You're banned from using magic for two days, and on light usgae a week. You can burn yourself entirely, if you push it too far. Seen it happen..." she thought of Jobbie, and his alchemy in lieu of magic. "Makes one a little odd, as well. Alright?""

Rowen played the kazoo at Jacklin and Parsithius' wedding.She has also played the drums by leaping up and down atop the drum skins in KT

Mostly pebbles, compost and a dead moth so far.

Rowen is out in garden collected what she belives Jolie wants. Mostly pebbles, compost and a dead moth so far.

Jolie waved to Sophie, wondering where in the hell the rat was with her necessary ingredients. She said to Valentin, "I'll have to nip up the garden myself .. back in a moment."

Valentin nods as agony accompanies the movement. Where th'hell was Steadman? Oh, right, he forgot to put a coin down. He remedies that error with a slight clink of gold on bar "As y'say, Thanatos Domina. No magic f'two days, light usage for a week. Basic shadowmancy, innit. None o'the cryumbral tides or hidden whispers."

Jolie would, not long after, help Rowen find the things on the list, and show her where the yellow mushrooms were, which would indeed prove delicious.

Sundry noxious vegetation

Jolie was back, soon enough, carrying a basket loaded with sundry noxious vegetation. She eyed the rowq of glasses on the bar as she set about picking off sprigs and popping them in the mortar. "Booze is off limits for two days, as well," she said, crisply, to Valentin. "And the cure must stay in place for at least that long."

Jolie said to Sophie then, "I never took you for a slaver, Soph." The pathetic drow was offered a wrinkle of nose. "You could have picked a better one."

Sophie :: Looks shocked! "I am no slaver. This poor broken man, is now free, and my patient, I am trying to mend his broken psyche." Sophie asks Jolie. "Excuse me for interrupting but have you any knowlegde of magical drow runes, this poor ex-slave has several tatooed on his body and I would like to know what, if anything they do to the poor man."

Jolie paused in her smushing-of-plants to peer at the markings. "None, I'm afraid. I know a bit about the culture, but they're quite tight-lipped when it comes to magic. You ought to ask Tiphareth." Who'd probably murder the drow on sight, but Jolie was busy and not thinking of the welfare of pathetic dark elves.

Here to spy for the Parasite, are we?

Jolie went on smushing and grinding, also oblivious to how the sound might set Valentin's teeth on edge.

Jolie said to Ordox, "Here to spy for the Parasite, are we? Well, you can piss off. Or report on my poultice, whichever takes your fancy."Jolie gave the hemlock sprigs a little extra smushing as she spoke.

Maybe he would go to Cenril, kill himself some more priests

Valentin || The vampiric butcher's teeth were on edge, alright. But it was the embargo on booze which had Valentin grating has gnashers together. He retrieves his gold coin from the bar with a disgruntled motion. "As y'say, Domina." Maybe he would go to Cenril, kill himself some more priests. That might take the edge of his growing irritation with the world at large.

Ordox said to Jolie, "*shakes his head* There are far mor pressing issues that he has delegated to me than your silly concoctions."

The unfortunate universe is sinking into -un Rowen guided - suffering and barbarity

Rowen the poor rat is beginning to be affected by those hallucinogenic mushrooms, she is suffering terrible delusions. She calls out to her friend. "Jolie! These 'shroms are bad..they is almost making me believe I am not the supreme empress of the known universe, that the unfortunate universe is sinking into -un Rowen guided - suffering and barbarity!" Sophie is trying to comfort the pathetic drow, who is shaking in abject terror after haering Jolie speak of taking him to Tiphareth.

Jolie looked pleased at the Scleratus' reply. "Good. Now hold still, for a moment." The towel-like cloth was dampened with a little cold water and spread out on the bar. The toxic paste was scraped from the mortar with a spoon, Jolie being careful not to get any on her fingers, and scraped across the cloth thinly. "You have to wear this..." If Valentic did indeed sit still, she'd start wrapping it about his head deftly, ".. for the whole two days. Day and night." The necromancer groped for a pin of some kind to fasten the wrap, frowning. Finally, she picked up a rather gaudy brooch from the lost-and-found box and pinned it to the front of the towel. "And just remember, anything peculiar you might see is probably not really there."

Jolie said to Ordox, "Then you can just piss off..." she borrowed a word from Valentin. "..innit?""

Jolie gave 1 turban to Valentin.

Ordox said to Jolie, "What a marvelous idea... *his face scrunches just a bit* The smell in here is awful."

Valentin would -very- begrudgingly remove his bowler hat to reveal a mess of grizzled dark ginger hair. The towel-turban was not a good look on the vampiric butcher.

How will it ever survive without my benevolent, infinitely wise leadership?

Rowen the rat is weeping for the poor universe. "How will it ever survive without my benevolent, infinitely wise leadership?"

Jolie lifted her upper lip at the shifter's words. "Creep." She was more offended, of course, that Ordox was keeping things from her than the fact of his employment. "Sentient blancmange."

Jolie stared at Rowen. "You ate a -lot- of mushrooms, didn't you?" she sighed, "Listen. You can save the universe by.. " What would keep the rat out of trouble, she wondered. "Following that shape-shifter over there. Keep an eye on him for me." Or in trouble, plus annoying Ordox. That seemed a far better idea.

A workable plan for saving the universe

Rowen is delighted as her wise and trusted grand vizer Tenebrae comes up with a workable plan for saving the universe. She scampers over to Ordox. "Now no trying to give me the slip my young tomato plant. Remember what the lady said, the fate of the entire universe rests in the balance!"

Mark oocly thinks he loves Rowen XD

Jolie tucked the corner of the turban under, making it neat. "There we are. You'll be right as rain in no time at all." To Sophie, she offered a smile. "Wish I could be more help with your.. ward, there. But I must be off for a time."

Jolie snickered faintly as the rat went about saving the universe.

Valentin mutters "'Ow long do I 'ave to wear the blimmin' hat?"

Jolie said to Valentin, "Two entire days. If you're quite well by then, you may take it off." She allowed herself a smirk. "Don't be so grumpy now. It's really quite fetching.""

Jolie did not inform the Scleratus that the poultice would have worked as well as a patch underneath his preferred headwear. Perhaps the embarrassment of wearing a turban might discourage him from overdoing his spell limitations for a time. "Anyway, as I said, I must be off."

Fighting fit and ready to cut some smug bastard into little pieces

Valentin promises himself to avoid all mirrors, and maim any bloody non-guild members who smirk at the stupid turban. On the bright side, there was already a marginal improvement in affairs. Hopefully after an hour he would be fighting fit and ready to cut some smug bastard into little pieces. With th'stupid headwear, he'd surely find some provocation in a Cenrilli tavern. He grinds out his thanks through clenched teeth "Thankee f'the help, mam'selle."

Jolie waved off the thanks. "All in the name of good Guild practise, pet." And with that, she was , indeed, away.

Valentin grinds his heel into the unconscious man at his feet, and feels slightly better already

Valentin oocly waves to Mark "Alas, care of Jolie's evil, my bowler hat is temporarily replaced by a turban" :P

Mark ooc "WHAT!? the horror..."

Rowen oocly *huggles Mark*

Mark oocly glomps rowen

Rowen oocly is glomped, while saving the universe! Talk about awesome <3

Rowen ooc anyone else want some of the stuffs I dropped?

Mark ooc as a pack rat i want it all o_o

Rowen ooc Then take it hun. I have to look out for my fellow rats now, don't I. What sort of supreme empress of the entire universe would I be if I didn't!

Mark ooc lol, pun intended XD?

You oocly *huggles Nemi* We must rp sometime love, just now sadly I am rather too sleepy. Rowen just saved the whole universe again...tiring for a lil rat <3