RP:Rowen gets married again. This time to Jenny

RP:Rowen gets married again this time to Jenny

Goin' commando and feelin' the breeze to fight the man

Setting -Kelay Tavern 26 Nov 2011 Peku leaps onto Muraski with a happy squeal. "Meow meow ki!"

Rowen said to Peku, "Young lady, for shame, how can you go out in public dressed so? Where are your rear view mirrors?"

Muraski is suddenly very confused..

Rowen said to Katya, "You seem to have lost the flowers in your hair, oh my loyal subject."

Peku said to you, "I live life on the edge! Goin commando and feelin the breeze to fight the man."

Peku pulls Muraski's hair. "Pay attention to me!"

Muraski has absolutely no idea how to react and instead, plays dead by collapsing onto the ground... Heart attack obviously.. He looks old enough..

Rowen said to Muraski, "You look less that euphorically happy, sir. You are hereby fined 2 pieces of silver for breach of the by laws in effect during the celebratory period in honour of the royal wedding."

No matter that the vodka was hallucinogenic, it was vodka, and thus drinkable

Katya had just breezed into the tavern, bottle of 'prime' Cenril vodka in hand, when she is confronted by a talking rat. She peers at the rat, examines her bottle carefully, then looks at the rat again through narrowed eyes. The elven mercenary, having already destroyed a bottle, is enquiring with exaggerated care on enunciation "Who is doing the asking...?" It seemed a bad day was about to get worse. Still, no matter that the vodka was hallucinogenic, it was vodka, and thus drinkable.

Peku stares at the supposed dead Muraski. Kneeling down, she pokes him with her finger. "Still warm. And breathing. I think we should molest him. Somebody go find an overly friendly party clown with an illegal ability of using balloon animals."

Katya peers at Peku, then at Muraski, and continues with the same exaggerated care "I could be molestering him with my scimitar, darling. Men are not liking that, though."

Peku said to Katya, "Oh, but I know this charming party clown that did this amazing act with the husband of a kiddy party involving streamers, a balloon snake, and a rubber nose."

The bowl of geraniums over there is a ventriloquist throwing its voice

Rowen replies her tone dripping with sarcasm. "It isn't this little empress doing the asking. Oh no, the bowl of geraniums over there is a ventriloquist throwing its voice. It only -appears- you have the immense honour of being addressed by her imperial majesty." She licks to clean between the claws of her right hind paw. "

Muraski stood, looked between rat, dragon, and Katya, and approached the third. "You, I believe you and I have a score to settle." With that said, he left the tavern... For now.

Katya arches an eyebrow at Muraski "Who are you again?"

Ranok said, "Oh, hyu set him on fire. Dat's right."

Rowen demands of Katya. "Have every clown within five thousand miles rounded up and frog-marched into my glorious presence at once."

Peku wonders if Muraski got scared off by the mention of party clowns.

Is anyone else hearing rat talk?

Katya shrugs at Ranok's words "How does that narrow things down, darling? I do that a lot." But wait, the rat was still talking. Katya looks at her bottle again. It had to be spiked. "Is anyone else hearing rat talk?"

Peku said, "politicians talk, but all I hear is a bunch of crap."

Ranok whispered something to Katya.

Rowen calls after the hastily fleeing Muraski. "Worry not, I'll send the clowns after you when they arrive."

Peku said, "can I watch? Be good reference material."

Muraski returned with a few bottles, several strips of cloth, and a torch, he torch being the only visible of the three items. He moved up towards Mesthak, ordered an entire bottle of whiskey and then moved to his own little corner where he began construction. Alcohol into bottle, cloth strip into alcohol, and torch to set it all on fire once ready..

Ranok grabs hold of a chair. No reason.

Peku Sings a happy song about being burned alive

Peku Sings a happy song about being burned alive.

Rowen assumes Ranok is acquainting the strange foreign lady with the correct etiquette when in the presence of the supreme empress of the known universe. She smiles ever so condescendingly at the huge man.

Peku said, "- and then the flames start to sparkle and your skin turns to charcoal-..."

Rowen scampers fearlessly up onto Muraski's incendiary table. "What delight are you preparing in my honour, my loyal subject?"

Peku is sleepy.

Rowen is a rat.

Everyone has advice for Muraski's Molotov Cocktail Project

Katya pauses. "So, darlings. Not hallucinating. Is good" Katya stares at Rowen "Why is rat wanting marching frogs, darling. You are making no sense. Rats should be wanting cheese and little bits of cookie." Katya takes a swig, and glances at Muraski's preparations "Try rum. I was finding it works better than whisky. Is smelling better too." Something about the man seemed familiar, but the drunken spellsword couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Rowen wonders what can have delayed the clowns.

Muraski ignored Katya only to look at the rat, "A drink.. Take the cloth, chew on it, and you'll drink the liquids inside.."

Rowen chimes in "In my experience the best liquid to fill a Molotov cocktail is vodka." The rat eyes Katya's bottle meaningfully.

Peku falls asleep thanks to Ranok and gives him a night night kiss as thanks.

Rowen may be in danger of becoming rat flambé

The oh so helpful little rat begins to chew on the cloths as Muraski suggests. She may be in danger of becoming rat flambé

Katya mutters "Wodka -is- best for setting people's face on fire. But stupid dwarf is not selling wodka. Is sham!" Katya storms unsteadily over to a table, and takes a sulky seat. "I am scammed, I am robbed of pay, I am shown up by annoying little dagger girl, I am talked at by rats, and deprived of vodka by dwarves. Is any wonder that I am setting people on fire? It has been -bad- day, darlings." Katya emphasises the point with another swig of vodka.

Ranok says, sounding rather bored, actually, "Fill to helf. Tvist rag down to liqveed but do not soak it. Seal top. Use klay for maximum effectiveness. If hyu're gunna do it, do it right." He was leaning on the chair. As he does, his duster swirls and billows gently, utterly ignoring the absence of any breeze in the room.

Rowen cannot bear to see one of her beloved subjects so distraught. She scampers over to Katya's table, giving the woman's hand a friendly nudge with her wet pink nose in an attempt to offer comfort."Mesthak, you will begin to sell vodka at once,that is my imperial command."

You are hearing her highnesship, dwarfbar. Be selling of the wodka! Is imperial decree

Katya points her bottle at the bar militantly "You are hearing her highnesship, dwarfbar. Be selling of the wodka! Is imperial decree." Katya peers at the rat "You are being alright, little bossy rat. Is good to be bossy sometimes."

Rowen said to Muraski, "Want me to have my servants deliver you some finest imperial clay? As Ranok here tried to say, if he could speak properly. 'If you are going to do it, do it right.' No shoddy workmanship please."

Muraski said to you, "And who exactly decides what's shoddy and what is not?"

Rowen favours Katya with a friendly grin, gently correcting her with.."My dear, the correct form of address is 'your imperial majesty' not 'little bossy rat' You are not the first to find the intricacies of protocol involved in a royal audience rather confusing, worry not, I shall magnanimously forgive your slip."

Rowen said to Muraski, "I do. I am the supreme arbiter sitting in judgement over such matters."

Darling, 'Little Bossy Rat' is Ruslvic for 'Your Imperial Majesty'

Katya looks at Rowen over the neck of her bottle "Darling, 'Little Bossy Rat' is Ruslvic for 'Your Imperial Majesty'. We are being fine, da? Is all good, little bossy rat?"

Muraski said to you, "But, would their supreme empress really work on such trivial matters? Why not leave it to apes, such as Ranok. He can't speak correctly so at least he could stamp things in the correct fashion.. Unless you let him near the utensils making the stamps, then you might 'vokaying' things of 'venying' others."

Rowen is perfectly happy on having the translation of the term explained to her. "Mesthak? Are you selling vodka yet, you shoddy little excuse for a barkeep?"

Rowen glares at Muraski. "When you rule the universe, you can decide on how best to use your limited imperial time. For now, mind your own beeswax. I take matters of uncompromising professionalism, and quality workmanship very seriously. Have you no pride? Do you really want to burn someone alive with a second rate Molotov cocktail?And kindly do not refer to poor Ranok as a ape. Any fool knows that the correct term for a primate - with a tail - is a monkey." Muraski shrugged, "If it was second rate, how did it burn someone alive?"

Rowen sighs sadly and shakes her little rat head, disgusted by the lack of pride in the quality of his work shown by Muraski.

Katya perks up "Are we burning someone alive, darlings?"

Katya perks up "Are we burning someone alive, darlings? Was I ever telling you of time in Gualon when orc tried to feel me up? I set his face on fire. He was being prettier as result. Is true story." Katya takes another swallow of vodka "Mesthak, are you doing what little bossy rat is telling you? I am running low on wodka." Not quite true. The elven mercenary had another bottle in her travelpack.

Muraski said to Katya, "Do you remember a particular drow who's face you set on fire but maybe a week ago? If so, you'll be pleased to have this."

Muraski gave 1 house insignia to Katya. Muraski said to Katya, "It's from his corpse. Enjoy."

Perhaps you should consider a career as a plastic surgeon darling

Rowen listens seriously to Katya's tale of transforming the orc's face. "Perhaps you should consider a career as a plastic surgeon darling. There are so many horrendously ugly people around." The rat glances from Ranok to Muraski."I am sure you could make a fortune. I would be happy to give my imperial seal of approval to such a worthy undertaking." Another glance at Ranok and Muraski."It must really be pitiful fate, to look like -them-."

Ranok said, "Oh, it iz not so bad. Ven de kids throw food, it iz a free meal."Ranok of course, was utterly deadpan in his delivery

Katya looks at the emblem in bleary eye' d fashion "I was burning face of a drow, darling? Must have been a good day, da?" Katya taps the insignia with her bottle "So what is with weird necklace?"

Rowen said to Muraski, "And where is your gift for your empress? Not something made by your own shoddy hands -please- A quality gift worthy of a bossy little rat."

Muraski scoffed at Rowen's words as he spoke in a calm tone for her to hear, "If you'd like 'empress' I could relieve you of sight so you'd not have to look at me. Have no fear, I'll make sure it's quality workmanship, along with the fact you'll never have to look upon such a despicable face again. The drow complained, he no longer has to look upon -anything-." Muraski hadn't actually killed the drow but rumours were about that the man died hours after Muraski petrified his eyes. He turned to Katya and shrugged, "No idea but I figured it'd be amusing to you, seeing as you are an elf, he's a drow.. An elf with a drow insignia is disgraceful to the dark skins, no?" Muraski grinned at the rat, "Ah, for you sweet Empress, I have some of the finest Rynvalian Wine. Just drink deep from this bottle."

Muraski gave 1 Love Potion-No.9 to Rowen.

How can you expect the poor girl to remember every person who's face she has set aflame?

Rowen calls "Mesthak, bring me some rotten tomatoes and putrid yogurt to throw at dear Ranok here." She then chides Muraski. "Really dear, how can you expect to poor girl to remember every person who's face she has set aflame. Not everyone is blessed with my extraordinary recall. I never forget a name nor a face, Dave."

Katya slips the drow insignia over her head and pokes Muraski in the ribs with her bottle "You're not so bad, mister cryptic stranger handing out free necklaces. Who are you again?" Somewhere beneath the foggy haze of vodka-bliss, Katya was thinking about burning faces. In fact, she realised, she had been burning faces with greater frequency since coming ashore. Something about land-dwelling folk seemed to be grating to her. Maybe it was all the insincerity. Tyshenka was telling her it was antisocial habit, the faceburning, but sometimes habits were dying hard. And so, after long pause, Katya espoused apropos of nothing: "In Ruslva, is saying: man with oily tongue can drink burning wodka." Which made perfect sense to her.

I have no time in my busy schedule to be blinded by you today. You will need to make an appointment with my secretary

Rowen said to Muraski, "Well? Pour the finest Rynvalian wine into a silver saucer engraved in honour of the royal wedding then Dave. Surely you can't expect me to drink from the bottle as if I was a common peasant such as yourself. Also I have no time in my busy schedule to be blinded by you today. You will need to make an appointment with my secretary."

Muraski stood from his spot and moved to leave a brief bow in Katya's direction, "Just refer to me as Cryptic for now. When I know you better, we'll hand out actual names." He gave a brief, evil, smile to Rowen before he moved to leave the tavern.. Hopefully he'd escape before she drank the potion."Apologies, you'll have to have Nancy pour it for you. "

Ranok said to Katya, "His name iz Muraski LeskoVac, he operates a schop on de koast uf Kenril, hes an adopted daughter by de name uf Raziel vo's qvite a schtupeed brat, und karries illicit ties to krime in zum vay. Hy belieff dat iz de long und schort uf it."

Rowen complains to Katya. "You see the sort of thing I have to put up with. Accursed ignorant peasants. I tell you every single once of them seems to believe that their desire to blind, disembowel or flay alive their beloved empress takes precedence over anyone else's prior appointment so to do." She shakes her head sadly as she begins to lap from the saucer, someone has poured the potion into. "Such selfish disregard for others."

Life, life is little bossy rat. And setting faces on fire who are deserving

Katya smiles at Ranok "Ah, hello darling. Men are always being stingy with names, da? But I am forgetting your name. Is it being Krin, Dezro, or Nameless? I was liking free meal joke." The elven mercenary turns back to the talking rat "Yes, is terrible shame. People are needing of more manners, da? One should not be rude to little bossy rat. One should be paying attention to little bossy rat. Life, life is little bossy rat. And setting faces on fire who are deserving."

Ranok said to Katya, "Hall uf dem. A name iz a name. But hain't my Name, hyu see? Tough Hy suppose hyu do not. Suffice to say, dey are hall my name, und not. Kall me vat hyu like, however. "

Jenny enters with little fuss, a hand gently massaging her throat as she looks for a place to sit .

What do they call that? Varicose vein blue?

Rowen finishes off the potion, the whole bottle being several hundred times the recommended dose of love potion for a tiny three legged rat. She staggers across Katya's table top, her eyes locked adoringly on Jenny. "Has anyone ever told you you have the most wonderful blue eyes? Such a beautiful shade of blue, what do they call that? Varicose vein blue? The rat is so enthralled by the objects of her affections, that she seems about to stagger right off the table edge.

Jenny remains quiet for some scant moments with a quiet assessment of the situation, "...what..."

You know: is nothing like, in storm, dancing wind from topgallant to topgallant, da?

Katya points her bottle at Ranok "Is Nameless, da, I remember. Kelay's old man of mystery." Satisfied with her drunken acuity, Katya leans back in her chair and plunks her booted feet on her table with a thunk, the sound possibly enough to warn little bossy rat of her imminent free fall. Katya begins musing aloud "You know: is nothing like, in storm, dancing wind from topgallant to topgallant, da? Fouling rigging on way down from enemy crow nest, attacking captain and dancing sword to sound of thunder and steel. That is being the life. Let the big Ruslva men hunt Vrznak. For me is dance of wind and fire."

Ranok rubs his chin, "Hm. A joy ride in de airship does sound more entertainink den...dis. Hy belieff dat iz vat Hy vill do."

Katya locks her gaze on Ranok "I thought you were crashing the airship, darling."

Rowen does indeed stagger right off the table edge dropping like a stone she hits the rather dirty tavern floor. After getting up, the not badly hurt, but even more dazed, and dust covered rat begins to stagger towards Jenny. "Such beautiful eyes. They say the eyes are the windows of the soul, but if that is true, why are they not on the bottom of our feet?"

Jerica said OOC, "Rowen, who needs coffee when you're around? I'll laugh myself awake."

Ranok offers Katya an infuriating smile, "Kome now. Vat sort uf man vould Hy be if Hy ruined *hall* uf my toys? It hain't so herd, really, ven hyu chust schteal anodder airship from zumone else." He gets up off his lean on the chair he had been, and brushes himself off. The man would soon make his way out, unless stopped.

Jenny looks down, gazing momentarily at Rowen before letting loose a dry cough

Jenny speaks weakly, "...who are you again?"

Jenny speaks weakly, "...who are you again?"

Rowen said OOC, "Rowen, potentially saving millions worldwide in expenditure on caffeine based beverages."

Katya was two and half bottles in, which was half a bottle too much to be stopping anyone from doing anything short of a massive effort on her own behalf. "I shall keep that in mind, darling. Try not to be crashing this one, da?"

Rowen asks Jenny So when shall we get married?

Rowen is shocked by her beloved's ignorance. "I, my darling, am Rowen Stronghammer, supreme empress of the entire known universe. So when shall we get married? It takes some time to arrange such an important state occasion as a royal wedding, we probably won't be able to until tomorrow."

Jenny suffers a rather loud, nervous hiccup.

Rowen just gazes with complete adoration and devotion at the love of her life. "Someone summon Jerralith! At Once! He has another royal wedding ceremony to perform."

Jenny coughs once more, drawing a hastened breath and answering in a confused manner; "Another?"

Rowen explains "Worry not, I don't keep a harem. I had my marriage with dear Bob annulled when it transpired the poor fellow just wasn't good enough for me. You are the only one I love, absolutely completely, with all my heart, forever....So? What colour do you like for the bridesmaids dresses? Peach? Lemon? Sky blue pink?

Yes, do what little bossy rat says. Is easier, darling

Katya casts a bleary gaze over the talk of romance and weddings "Yes, do what little bossy rat says. Is easier, darling. Hangover not so bad, I am thinking, if you are accepting of the crime before the punishment."

Jenny holds her arms up defensively, speaking with as loud a voice as she can manage on her strained throat; "I don't know you!... what do you want!..."

Is simple, darling. Little bossy rat is offering her paw in marriage

Katya points her bottle at Jenny "Is simple, darling. Little bossy rat is offering her paw in marriage. How many people are able to be saying they married a talking rat?" A pause "Well, apart from most women, that is."

Rowen begins to weep little ratty tears. "How can you say you don't want to marry me, my love? How can you be getting cold feet this close to the wonderful day of our union? Don't you love me anymore?"

Jenny runs through a string of near inaudible words, hiding her face

Jenny runs through a string of near inaudible words, letting her face shrink and hide behind her hands

Rowen the love potion intoxicated rat staggered over to the feet of the object of her affections. "What have I done to fail you? Take me back, please, I beg you, give me another chance to prove my complete love and devotion to you dearest darling er er...what is your name, my dearest?"

Syndleplax is standing naked, a vision of perfection in the humanoid form

Syndleplax is indeed standing in the tavern naked except for the markings on his face. Despite his elven form, apparently Syndleplax had not the desire nor the care to bother with creating the illusion of clothes for his humanoid form this morning. Nay, his attention was elsewhere, probably on the book the naked man held as he walked through the tavern unashamed of his body. Rippling with muscles, hair flowing down to his shoulders, he was a vision of perfection in the humanoid form and a total lie due to his truly draconic heritage.

Syndleplax said OOC, "Nothing like strutting around Kelay... in the buff."

Katya waves her near-empty bottle at Rowen and Jenny "Darlings, I have found your bridesmaid" then directs her bottle towards Syndleplax.

Rowen practically ignores the perfect Adonis that is Syndleplax's beautiful naked form. Today the rat only has eyes for her beloved Jenny.

Rowen doesn't even spare a second glance for the perfect Adonis that is Syndleplax's beautiful naked form. Today the rat only has eyes for her beloved Jenny.

Jenny slowly massages at her eyes, tears of confusion wiped away silently as she leaves her tortured throat to rest.

Syndleplax does not speak, simply raising his eyes from the book to gaze briefly at the girls. Ritual demanded that introductions be made, at least that was the way of the lesser beings. His heritage had their own set of rules, rules that he followed to the letter and they required something much more intimate... the exchange of bloodshed between two individuals. Most often, whether by claw or by breath, he would meet his fellow dragon in the spilling of the others blood in quite a regulated fashion. He ponders which set of introductions he should follow before lowering his eyes back to the book. If they sought his attention, they would come to him.

Katya wolf-whistles at Syndleplax " There are two lovely darlings about to get married in need of a strapping priest or bridesmaid. You a priest, darling?"

Syndleplax said to Katya, "Thric.... No I am not a priest. Simply one who is learned. Ankin, seeker, they call me. "

Jenny speaks out with a weak and raspy tone, "No... no..."

Jenny speaks out with a weak and raspy tone, "No... no..."

Rowen without taking her besotted gaze from her darling for a moment, Rowen comments, dreamily. "Ah, the priest, about time he got here, I sent for one minutes ago. Perform the ceremony -at once-."

Katya hadn't seen anything this funny since the facial expression on an orc whose head was on fire

Katya winks at Syndleplax "You are hearing little bossy rat, our dearly endowed darling. Marry these lover birds. Don't be too heartbroken if they are not finding you attractive. Is just how they are, da?" Maybe it was the three bottles of vodka, but Katya hadn't seen anything this funny since the facial expression on an orc whose head was on fire.

A simple three word ceremony "You're married. Congratulations."

Syndleplax looks to the two, never having considered himself a priest in the past. He searches his soul to find the words, thinking maybe something basic would do. His studies had taken him across the world and even to the occasional other plane, but never had he spent much time researching these creatures that walked the earth as if owning it while not realizing how fragile they truly were. The book thuds closed and he raises a single hand with his palm facing them. The air was still, a moment of deep thought for the dragon, and then his lips parted and said quite simply "You're married. Congratulations."

Katya grins "Nice work, mister naked priest. I am thinking you are best priest I have met." The elven spellsword splashes vodka over Jenny and Rowen in Ruslvic tradition "I am hoping you have big litter of babies."

Rowen beams joyfully at her bride, quite happy with Syndleplax's ceremony. "Kiss me, my darling!"

Uchawiman said OOC, "I see Rowen is married once again? What does that make? Four times?"

Rowen shakes vodka from her fur, a little like a wet dog.

Jenny shrieks and recoils backwards, rousing up a strong; if heavily pained voice, "No... no; I don't want this, never wanted this, I don't... don't know this person... I don't want this."

Syndleplax shrugs and finds a chair to sit and read his book.

Rowen said OOC, "Actually this is only twice... only Tiphin before...and it seems Jenny just got married against her will...she needs a lawyer."

Rowen said to Jenny, "You had plenty of time to protest, in writing, in triplicate at the appropriate time in the ceremony. You are just nervous, I understand my dearest, worry not, I will make everything all right."

But darling, you are now married. Is being plenty of time to get to know your... wife? Husband? Of this I am unclear

Katya points out, quite unreasonably, to Jenny "Of course you are not knowing this as person. Little bossy rat is being a -rat-, darling. But is okay, da? Love is overcoming all obstacles... even species" Katya drinks the remnants of the vodka, the last drips running slipshod down the neck of the bottle "But darling, you are now married. Is being plenty of time to get to know your... wife? Husband? Of this I am unclear. But I am being told that rats are very affectionate."

Rowen is very affectionate indeed.

Lesser beings are confusing I know I read it somewhere in here

Syndleplax said, "Lesser beings are confusing." The statement made more to himself as he sat naked in front of the fireplace, thoroughly absorbed into whatever was in that book of his. It looked like ancient runes, perhaps something from his homeland as his eyes scan the page with some familiarity. "I know I read it somewhere in here...."

Rowen said to Katya, "Wife dear. I realise many humans are so ignorant as to be unable to identify the gender of a noble rodent, but the fact that I am the supreme -empress- should give you a clue that I am female, pitifully stupid though you may be."

Katya points out to Rowen, in manner full of logic "Then that is making her the husband, da?" The elven mercenary looks at Jenny "Are you alright with being husband, darling?"

Jenny just shakes her head, voice too tortured to speak anymore

Jenny just shakes her head, voice too tortured to speak anymore.

Katya tosses her empty bottle into the fire with a crash and tinkle of broken glass "See, little bossy rat, your dear husband is being overcome with emotion and unable to speak. Love is wonderful thing, da?"

Rowen starts ordering provisions for the wedding banquet...it is unclear exactly who she expects to obey her demands. "Twelve roast suckling pig.....three caviar bowls, two fresh limes and a partridge in a pear tree. She scampers off to supervise the chefs.

Syndleplax said OOC, "I think I just married someone... in the nude."

Syndleplax said OOC, "Good day."

Jenny slumps back into her seat, feeling utterly defeated.

Dami said OOC, "Hot damn, invite me to that wedding."

I am bringing two people... rats... things together in love and marriage, da?

Katya removes her feet from the table, and hauls herself upright. The elf has to steady herself using the table and chair for a moment while the three bottles of vodka made their presence known. However, after a moment, Katya is able to lurch her way towards Kelay Way, there onwards to her accommodation. "Hah, and Tyshenka is saying I am home wrecker. I am bringing two people... rats... things together in love and marriage, da? That is making me wonderful person. I will reward myself with sleep of the righteous." Katya pats Jenny on the shoulder on the way out "Be enjoying honeymoon, darling."