RP:Roiling In The Deep

Part of the The Day I Tried To Live Arc

Summary: Khitti wanders off after she makes breakfast for the crew and their captain and Brand... well... he has a bit of a panic attack.

The Tranquility, Cenril Wharf

Mornings had become a bit hectic for Khitti once she’d finally started working on Brand’s ship--well, any time of day that food needed to be prepared, really. She hadn’t thought him serious when he’d said she’d be cooking for nearly a hundred people. That’s not to say that she didn’t do the same at Mrs.Mallard’s--that place saw much more than that daily--but, the problem laid in the lack of help. Somehow, miraculously, she managed. Day in and day out she continued to manage; a few days had gone by since she joined Brand on his ship and had things sorted out with Mrs. Mallard and the inn, and then a few more days went by as she did her best to get used to the sort of schedule she needed to keep as the Tranquility’s chef.

Khitti hadn’t taken up residence in Brand’s room (and it was likely much to his dismay). She couldn’t just yet, for it felt… too soon? Too awkward? Too… She didn’t really know. But, that didn’t mean she cut herself off from him entirely. There certainly would’ve been time spent together in his off hours, perhaps in the library, or at the very least, he’d be greeted with one of those smiles of hers as they passed by each other in the halls of the ship. Today, though, he’d not find her in the library or the galley, for breakfast was over with and the kitchen cleaned ‘til she needed it again. No, today, he’d find that his breakfast had been laid out for him on the table in his bedroom, a small bottle of orange juice and a much larger bottle of whiskey accompanying it for whichever struck his fancy. And right beside the whiskey was a note, written by Red herself. ‘Brand, I’m going out to the beach for a little while. I needed a bit of fresh air. I’ll be safe. I promise.” Whether or not that’s actually any comfort to the Catalian, though, was up to him.

Brand awoke with the dazed hangover of a hundred fitful dreams. Who could sleep properly when there was so much to worry about? But the smell of bacon at last dragged him out of his bed, bacon and toast and a mushroom-stuffed omelette, still sizzling from the skillet. He ate several bites with his eyes still struggling to open, brain still too groggy to register anything. There was no rush today. The ship would go nowhere. Onyx was acquainting several of the replacement crew with their posts today, and too many others were on leave. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, just him alone with the breakfast Khitti had left for him in --

Brand ’s eyes snapped open, alert. Khitti must have come in here for the first time since she’d been found, yet she was not here now. He searched for an explanation and his eyes lit upon the note. Cursing, Brand shoveled a few bites of omelette into his mouth, drained the jug of juice, and scrambled out the door with his shirt still unbuttoned. Dammit, woman, didn’t anyone ever teach you how to follow orders like, say, no goin’ off the ship without tellin’ somebody?

Pebbly Shore, Cenril

To be fair, she did tell someone. She told -him-. There was no rush on the ship, and likewise, there was no rush in the small market area near Cenril’s shorefront. Most of the shops were closed for the day save for a few that -needed- to be open, one of which was a small art supply stall. A palette of watercolors, a few different types of pencils, and the proper type of fibrous paper needed for the watercolors was purchased--all for way too much money--before she finally headed back to the beach. There she’d find herself a nice little perch on large rock and set to work, sketching the outlines of the city, occasionally looking up from her work to study the buildings, the positioning nearly the same as the night Brand pointed it out to her. It did not occur to her that Brand would come looking for her, she’d done her part in telling him her whereabouts, and so her focus was solely on her drawing. Thankfully for him, he’d find her quite alone--there were no merfolk or any other sort of seaborn in sight, nor were there and land-dwellers about right now. It was just a redhead, on a rock, working on a bit of art and taking in the salted air; Brand would find that he was freaking out for nothing.

The Tikifhlee’s paws swept silently across the sand as Brand rode up the beach. His gaze scoured both ocean and land, from the distant depths to the foam and shells and porous stones littering the shore to the road in elevated view just inland. He would make her out by her fiery hair against the cool greys and blue-greens of the seaside, if he would find her at all.

And find her he did, eventually, when the sun had risen to midday and the feline mount had slowed to a weary trot. They approached from her back and Brand felt his shoulders fall away from his ears and felt the breath go out of him. She was alive, she was alright, and she was alone. And she was drawing. Drawing? Since when had she picked up -that- as a hobby? It seemed a behavior more akin to Meri, or perhaps Dominic. What else had this new version of Khitti discovered in their time apart?

“I know a shop in Larket you’d like,” was the man’s opening greeting, boot pressed against her stony perch. In a few deft movements he scaled the rock and joined her. “Didn’t know your artistry was so diverse. Did the sea witch teach you that?” Or maybe she’d always known and he’d just never gotten close enough to see this side of her. Or maybe she was another soul wearing Khitti’s skin, like in his latest dream. A shudder took him.

By this time, she’d started on the watercolors, her sketch finished. “No,” Khitti said simply as she added reds and oranges where there were bricks, a sharp contrast to the blues and grays and black of stone that littered the city. “I had an idea, that night on the way to the ship. I only just now had time to put it to paper.” She paused, setting down her brush though she wasn’t quite finished, the book of paper handed over to him. The style was very similar to the artwork of the mermaid on her arm, and the tattoo on Brand’s shoulder, albeit a bit more shaky considering it’s her “first” time drawing. “It’s for you. There’s to be two of them, a daytime and nighttime, to be hung side by side. If you want them, anyway. I thought maybe it’d be something nice to look at when you’re shut up in that room for hours.” Of course, she meant the situation room, when he was off making plans and charting courses with Onyx.

Khitti looked over at Brand finally, crimson brows knitted together in that way of hers, an apologetic smile offered to him, “I’m sorry if I worried you. I wasn’t going to be out here forever. Everyone else was busy and I didn’t want to wake you.” The redhead sighed, pulling the sketchbook back to her lap whenever he was finished with it. She felt like she should say more, and her mouth even hung open for a moment, but nothing else seemed to come to mind. She wasn’t anymore certain on how she should act towards him, or to anyone else on that ship, than she had been a week ago.

Brand looked her piece over before settling into place beside her. Now that she was found, he was sapped of his anger and fear. Whatever his nightmares, it seemed they weren’t coming true today. “You should’ve let me come along,” was as firm as he deigned to be on the matter. His eyes drifted to the shallows. No sign of any mermaid, friendly or otherwise, and their loft granted a view for a decent length up and down the shore. The Tikifhlee bumped the top of its head against the rough surface of the rock and nuzzled its approval.

Khitti snapped the book shut, once it’d taken long enough to dry, and cast it to the rock beside her. “Why? So I can just disappoint you more with what I’m not? I’m trying so hard to figure out how to be like her and none of it seems right.” Her voice took on that tone, the same she usually had when they fought, exasperation and frustration obvious, the latter having been building since their date. “Besides all that, it was supposed to be a surprise.” She wanted to cry again, but after what happened last time, she wouldn’t allow herself the luxury; she was enough of a burden to him as it was, it felt like, and she wasn’t about it to make it worse with her emotions. “Is there even a point in going to Larket? To this shop? You make it sound as though I should stay on the ship and never leave.”

For better or worse, Brand was clueless. “Tryin’ to be like -who-, Red? No one ever said you had to be like anybody. Just keepin’ in mind your safety, is all.” He turned away from her, rose and peered out at the Cenril cityscape. He could already almost imagine Meri’s face if he brought Khitti to her like this. Total disaster unless she were forewarned. Caution: new edition of Khitti particularly volatile. Handle with care. And don’t mention anything about vampires. “It’s an art store. Tattoo artist works there. Friend of mine. Friend of yours, from before. Did your tattoos. If you’re wantin’ to take up charcoal or paint, she’d be the best person to go to.”

Khitti rolled her eyes as Brand stood up and went off onto the topic of Meri. She stood too after a moment or so, her hand moving to his face to get him to look at her again, “-Her-, Brand. Me.” She shrugged, her hand falling to her side again, “Khitti. I don’t know how to be like her. For you.” Now she was the one that turned away, sighing again as she eyed the sea, “Don’t act like I don’t see the looks everyone gives me. You, Dozla… everyone. I’m her, but I’m not her and I don’t know how to fix it. This Meri’ll probably be the same way too.” There’s definitely tears now, and she’d certainly try to keep him from seeing them. “I wanted my home so badly and now I have it and everything’s all wrong. I can -feel- that it’s wrong.” It wasn’t the lies that Brand, Lionel, and everyone else spun that made her feel this way; no, she trusted them as they wanted her to. Instead, it was merely because she felt like a stranger. She was even a stranger to herself.

“Oh.” Brand deflated, conceding. Frak. “Yeah. That... makes a lot of sense.” He pulled her into his grasp. His arm wrapped snugly around her waist as he pulled her to his side, hip to hip. “Look, best I can tell you is to do what comes naturally. Others can tell you who you were, but they can’t tell you who you are now.” His chin nestled into her hair, took in her scent. Faint strawberry. “I may not know who you are, Red, but who you -were- is someone who would want you now to be happy. -I- want you to be happy.” His hand teased at a seam of her dress. “I just also want you to be safe.”

Khitti stayed there for a few moments, but ultimately pulled away from Brand, and took a step to the side away from him. “You’re not going to help me get my memory back… are you? You want me to move on so badly.” She’d taken Lionel’s words about pulling the guild out of the seaborn mission in stride, but now as it’s being insisted that she just try to be happy as she was currently, Khitti grew doubtful of any help whatsoever. “Just… tell me yes or no. Neither you nor Lionel intended on helping with that, did you?” How was she supposed to be happy like this?

Brand raised a brow. “Intention means frak-all against the impossible. I don’t think there’s a way, or it’d be the most popular business in Lithrydel.” He gestured across the slopes leading toward Cenril proper. “Imagine. Bringin’ back all your faded memories of better times, or removin’ the ones you’re better off without, all for a bit of coin. Is there anyone alive who wouldn’t pay? Do see anyone out there sellin’ that kinda magic?” His hand lowered, and his gaze dropped to meet Khitti’s. “No. Which means whatever the sea-witch did to you, your brain is gonna have to unravel itself. No one’s helping ‘cause no one knows how to.” He wanted to shake her. He dragged her into a hug instead. “Nobody knows what you’re dealin’ with, ‘cept the witch. I worry you rootin’ around will only do more damage, and I’d rather we learn to look forward. Build somethin’ new.” She had to understand. It was better this way, for both of them. He believed it too strongly to waver now.

Khitti allowed herself to be pulled into that hug. She needed it. Honestly, she probably wouldn’t have really fought with him for shaking her either if he would’ve went that route. “I’m sorry. I just feel so lost.” Pale arms snaked around his middle, returning the embrace, “I’ll… try not to dwell on it so much.” It seemed sincere enough; maybe she was actually going to listen to him for once--with it being Amnesia-Khitti, it was a lot more likely that she would. “You should go back. Finish your breakfast. You seemed in enough of a hurry to find me that I expect you probably didn’t.”

Brand peered down at her, frowning. He didn’t like that she was right. “No, but that doesn’t matter. You come first.” He planted a kiss on her forehead, gauged her reaction to that, went for the lips if she seemed unopposed. “Had half the appetite when you were gone. One more missed meal isn’t gonna make a difference.” He wondered if new-Khitti would tell him to stay or say she’d go back with him. He knew what the old Khitti would have done.

Khitti would’ve probably stared at Brand as if he were crazy if she’d heard the words ‘you come first’ from him before her fall and before the amnesia--that would’ve been the closest to saying ‘I love you’ that he would’ve ever gotten. But… this was not that Khitti. She accepted both kisses, though the second was not without a bit of blushing. “Will you stay with me then? Just for a little while longer. I can make you something more, if you’re hungry again when we go back.” Her hands slid into his, her fingers lacing with his own and giving them a squeeze. “I -am- happy, despite what I’ve said. Happy that you found me. Happy that you rescued me from that awful woman. Happy that you’re not giving up on me.”

Brand ’s gut instinct was to question that happiness. Are you sure? Was Mrs. Mallard really so awful? You’re not still skeptical of everything to do with me? “I’m happy I found you, too.” What? Who was this and what did they do with Brand? Dominic, is that you? “And what kinda frakked up jerk of a person would just give up on you, anyway?” Ah, nope. Still Brand.

Dominic? Who’s Dominic? Red doesn’t know a Dominic. She only knows what she’s seen with Brand, how he’s been since he found her. Little by little, they’d gotten used to each other over the course of that week--even just on that first day--and it’d helped to ease her skepticism. “It’s really not so ‘frakked up’ if the person you love is no longer the same, I guess. Sometimes things just don’t work. Even without amnesia mucking things up, people change for better or for worse and I don’t think I could’ve blamed you if you had given up on me. But…” Khitti paused, releasing one of his hands so she could draw his face down to hers, giving him another kiss. “...you didn’t. And that’s all that matters.” She pulled away from him and picked up her art supplies, “I think I would like to go to Larket, if you really think it’s a good idea. The supplies at the shop in the marketplace were quite expensive and there wasn’t much variety. I’m surprised they even had what I wanted at all. And, I was thinking, if these two paintings came out well enough and you liked them… if maybe you’d like one of your ship as well? It may take some time and a bit of practice, but...” She shrugged, peering up at him, assessing his reaction to her offer.

“Yeah,” Brand sighed. “Sounds good.” His gaze had drifted into the distance, where he was picturing Khitti’s art of his ship filling the blank wall of his quarters. But did he really need art of his ship to remind him how much he loved his ship? “Maybe, if you’n I ever get a place on land, you can hang it there. Like a reminder of our other home.” And then a picture of the house on the Tranquility. And maybe if she ever got her magic back she could enchant the paintings to work like her portals, and you could hop through one to end up at the place it depicted. Brand was pretty sure he’d read a book once where that happened.

Khitti blinked a few times. House? Just how long had they known each other? How long had they been together? It was all way more complicated that she could even imagine of course, but she did wonder. “You… would get a house… with me?” He'd actually live with her on land? But, he loved his ship so much. Why would he ever do that? Khitti just kind of stared at Brand, confused, but that look of bewilderment would fade after a little bit as she thought on things, pensiveness replacing it. There was even a ‘hm’. She was thinking things, Brand. You should be scared.

Brand drove a corner of his boot into a pockmark of the rock. “Well, yeah. That was the plan, y’know, at one point. Once things calmed down at some nebulous point far-off in the future.” He waved across the sea. Its waves were decidedly not calm, but picking up with a fervor that suggested a coming storm or other disturbance off the coast. And yet the sky was evenly overcast, the clouds not anywhere near thick enough to threaten rain. Brand squinted toward the ocean and then down at the Tikifhlee, waiting with a twitching and impatient tail. “Not to rush you,” Brand sighed, “but it looks like trouble’s brewin’. Might not wanna stay too long.”

‘Trouble’s brewin’.’ A chill went up her spine with those words, but Khitti couldn’t quite place why. It felt like maybe trouble was -always- brewing It did serve to snap her out of her thoughts, however, and she peered at the horizon first, then up at Brand. “Maybe we shouldn’t wait, then. Maybe we waited -too long-. Maybe things won’t ever calm down and we should just go for it anyway.” She paused, wishing she had more of an idea of how things were, before she got lost, to go off of.. “If the idea is really still agreeable enough with you, I might have a place. It’s not far from here and we could scope it out before the storm comes? I had been thinking about it at some point for myself… if I’d ever been able to come up with the money for it.” That probably never would’ve happened as she surely would’ve been forever in debt to Mrs. Mallard, likely as the woman had intended. “It might help. With us. Maybe so we could have alone time. When you’re not busy with captain things, that is.” It’s almost like she might actually enjoy being around him, despite the awkwardness that’d been there originally.

Brand looked to Khitti and then back to the waves. “Maybe another time, yeah?” There was a tightness in his throat that had not been present a moment earlier. The juxtaposition of the thrashing waves against the uniform grey sky was unsettling, and combined with his worries of whatever truly been happening down below… she would surely pick up on his unease, even if it only showed itself in the hurry he took to scale back down the rock and ready the Tikifhlee for departure.

Khitti frowned at Brand’s response. Maybe she was wrong to think this is something he’d wanted so soon. It dampened her spirits considerably, but she only gave a faint “okay” in response, choosing not to argue. His unease was obvious, and she wondered if it was something more than just the sea that was stirring things in his brain, but kept that quiet too as she gathered her things and joined him at the cat. Khitti tried to sway her thoughts elsewhere, focusing on petting the Tikifhlee in an attempt to clear it of its anxiety that plagued the beast and its owner, before Brand would help her up onto the cat and they could depart.

Brand’s instincts were never too far off when it came to the sea. He looked back as the Tikifhlee carried them away, and in the distance he could have sworn he saw tentacles arising from the deeps, swallowing up a small fisherman’s ketch and sinking back below. The boat and its captor couldn’t compare to the size of the Tranquility, but Brand felt the hairs rise on the back of his neck nonetheless.