RP:Momma-tary Reprieve

Part of the Larketian Fault Lines Arc

Summary: Josleen escapes the harsh demands that she makes of herself and her role of Queen. She visits with Alvina, who is packing up her former home in preparation for the move to Cenril. Here, Josleen breaks down and confides in Alvina the procedure she's about to undergo for the sake of having children and confesses her fears of failure. Alvina reassures her that love makes all things possible (along with money and a little bit of power). They both indulge in an impromptu escape from the fears of their futures with honey beer and too many bad-for-you snacks.

Alvina and Hudson's Former Home

Alvina left the front door open to the house to let a breeze run through their living room. She’s wearing one of Hudson’s Cubbie’s hats. It’s ratty and likely needs a wash. The bill is biting into her neck as she leans over a box to write the contents on the exterior. All of the furniture has been removed from the room, leaving little divots in the carpeted areas and small scuffs on hardwood or tile. All paintings or magic glass has been removed from the walls and fresh blue paint dots Alvina’s face. It’s clearly not from this house, but the house in Cenril she’d just come back from. Her hair is braided, pooling straight down her back, running the length of her spine. She’s wearing one of Hudson’s button downs, rolled up at the sleeves and unbuttoned in the front to reveal a black tank top, likewise speckled with blue paint. The hat is mysteriously without paint. She’s wearing Hudson’s engagement ring on her left finger, it’s reflecting bits of afternoon sun onto the ceiling, creating a disco ball effect. The twins are nearby, in their play pen, sleeping. Hudson’s with the movers, telling them where to take the furniture.

Josleen needed to escape the castle today. Knowing what is coming tomorrow, she could not sit still. Macon is busy with his full agenda of Kingly duties and Josleen, whose Queenly agenda has stagnated since the earthquake, was left alone at the mercy of her own anxiety-stricken thoughts. She decided to go for a walk with the smallest security detail permitted by Macon: 2 guards, and Gigi. She’s missed her friends more than usual in recent days, as she encroaches on tomorrow, a terrifying day just a few hours away. Queenhood has isolated her from friends like Alvina, who lives in the same town and yet who Josleen rarely sees and mostly interacts with via notes. The most recent note a congratulations on Alvina’s recent engagement, and her standard line ‘We should see each other soon.’ Normally that line is a habit, but this last time it was a plea, but how would Alvina have known the difference? It looked identical to every other note. Thus it’s no surprise that Josleen’s route meanders by Alvina’s home--or is it former home now. Alvina said they were moving, but when? Josleen cannot remember. ...Is she already gone? Her throat feels tight at the thought that she may be too late. She walks up to the door and knocks/rings the bell/fiddles with a magical doohickey. “It’s me,” she calls. She’s dressed down into a cotton, floral dress, though she still dons Queenly jewelry and is flanked by guards.

Alvina hears Josleen from the living room and shouts to her. “Come on in!” The sound carried through the empty rooms, drifting out through the front door. Alvina comes into the foyer, dusting her hands on her dark jeans. “Can you leave the security detail on the porch? We just had the carpets cleaned, sorry guys.” She calls out through the space before remembering her manners and moving up to hug Josleen and pat Gigi, if he’s in range / willing to receive attention. The girls don’t stir, so no baby screeching can be heard. It’s just a big ol’ empty house with a tattered looking Alvina inside. At least she’s smiling. “Your majesty,” She jokes, as she pulls out of their embrace. “I wish I could offer you a place to sit but...Hudson is with the furniture as we speak. Maybe we can get one of those guys in here to kneel down for you?” She whispers, pointing to the heftier of her two guards. “How are you doing?” It’s only then Alvina catches a note of something...something off. “I was going to head by the castle before we left.” She knows it’s a fort but it sounds fancier this way. “To say goodbye and check on you.” A weak smile as Alvina regards the flooring. “You’ve been so busy, we haven’t had much time to chat.” Her voice dips regretfully. “I’m - going miss being so close to you.”

Josleen embraces Alvina hello then nods at her guard to obey Alvina’s request. One remains stationed at the front door, and the other circles the house to guard the back door. Gigi, however, assumes princes are always welcome, clean carpet or no, and happily trots inside, greets Alvina, then proceeds to sniff -everything-. “Gigi!” Josleen chastises her rude dog, but it is too late, he is in the kitchen, hunting sausages. He’s gotten a bit fat. Josleen wrinkles her nose at the honorific. Alvina doesn’t need to call her that. “Don’t worry about the furniture. I’m the one who dropped in unannounced.” She smiles weakly when Alvina says she will miss her. “I’ll miss you too. Now let me see the ring.” She takes Alvina’s hand and openly gawks as one is expected to do--and doing so also hides her tiny seed of jealousy that Alvina got a proper proposal and ring, whereas Josleen did not. But the jealousy is small, quick, and easily smothered by the facts surrounding each couple. Her facts now include a surprisingly cozy marriage with a man she has grown to love and respect more and more with each day. Alvina is engaged for the second time to a man she loves and respects in spite of betrayals which Josleen would consider ground for revoking respect. There’s no need to share this. Alvina looks happy, and Hudson does provide for her and is the father of their daughters, whom Josleen visits next. She stands at the playpen and coo-whispers to Alvina, “They’re so precious. Beautiful girls.” Josleen would hold them if they weren’t asleep. Moving away from the pen to not wake the toddlers, she says, “You didn’t mention in your letter why you two decided on moving. And so fast! Is everything alright? Is Hudson’s mother well?” She assumes E.L. must be sick, or else why all this rush?

Alvina doesn’t want to outright display the dirty laundry of their reason. Telling your best friend you are moving away from her because she might be going crazy is -the- worst way to start a goodbye. She juggles a few paint brushes and pens into the next packing box and Luna rolls over in her sleep while Harper snores in the Queen’s face. “Hudson is trying to get into a different line of business but that means wrapping up the old business first. Since it’s based in Cenril, we’re moving down to try and make the transition smoother.” Maybe Josleen had heard about Hudson’s witch run nail salon being trashed? The guards had been there, but maybe it wasn’t headline news. “Plus with E.L. living there, the girls get to see their grandmother more. We’re thinking about trying to have another little one too so there’s that to think about.” She laughs nervously, feeling guilty for mentioning children in front of Josleen. She’s been in that boat, wanting children, desperate and willing to do whatever it takes to get them. Feeling the jealousy wrinkle her nose to see the success of her peers. It’s easy to dissolve but still present. “Tell me how you are, please. I haven’t seen you in so long. I’m curious to know how that husband of yours is treating you.” Maybe being able to gush about Macon would make her feel better? “Would you like some tea? My kettle is still here. The girls will never know.” She winks, hovering in the doorway just in case she wants refreshments. “Jos, I’m really glad you came.”

Josleen nods when Alvina references the old business. “I heard about the nail salon. Some people… thugs, I tell you.” But Josleen isn’t fully buying Alvina’s story. She knows about Hudson’s criminal enterprise from its early days when he secretly helped Josleen out by giving her a job money-laundering in Xalious when Ansel was still unemployed and drunk. That was just over two years ago. Now she’s a Queen. So much can change so quickly. She fills in the gaps for herself and assumes Hudson’s criminal activity is gathering pace in Cenril and he’s needed there. Then Alvina mentions that she and Hudson are trying for another baby and it strikes a chord that’s been present of mind for months. Without any warning, her eyes begin to mist. If it had just been mention of a third baby, Josleen could have weathered this. But then Alvina asks how Macon is treating Josleen, and she reflects on how he is treating her better than expected, particularly with regard to her sterility. And if it had just been the mention of the baby and the mention of Macon, Josleen could have perhaps weathered this still, but tomorrow, tomorrow! Tomorrow she goes under the knife of a brilliant, but mad, naga scientist who believes he’s found a fix for her sterility. The method is untested in people, there’s no guarantee of success, and this may all be a lot of pain and sacrifice for naught. The misting on her lashes coalesces into fat tears and she abruptly turns away from Alvina and hides her face in her palms. Her body goes very still as she tries to mask, futilely, that she is crying--and on the heels of being asked about Macon, too! Not a good look. She’s quick to say in a snot-clogged voice, “This isn’t because of Macon. He’s been so good.”

Alvina folds immediately, rushing to console Josleen with a handy handkerchief in her pocket and the face of all women everywhere when their friend or a child is crying. “Oh come here,” the bard demands, wrapping her arms around Josleen so she can cry it out if she needs to. She can’t possibly know about Muzo or the experiments and she can’t possibly tell if these are tears of joy or sadness. She assumes sadness because...Josleen’s face crumpled like a napkin. “Whoa now, hey...Things are going great aren’t they?” Josleen’s turmoil tugs at Alvina’s heart strings. She feels guilty for leaving. Maybe Josleen needed her here! Hudson could leave! Alvina would stay and take care of everything! These are not realistic thoughts but it pains her to see Josleen cry. Whatever happens, Alvina can’t cry too. “Your cute husband is probably being…” What adjective could Alvina imagine Macon being? Ehhhh...Scary? Probably not comforting. Let’s try an adjective Alvina sees Hudson as. Silly? Not good. “Your cute husband is probably being super sweet (no way to know) and missing you even just this second." She rubs Josleen's back, encouraging her to breathe. "Crying manly tears...from his undying devotion to your love and commitment to each other." It sounded good, but Alvina felt a fool for making us this biz. She had no idea how Macon treated Josleen...but it better be good or so help him.

Josleen lets herself be hugged, but her body is still rigid with the tension of unspilled tears and sobs. She really needs to just let it out, but is too embarrassed. When she speaks her voice squeaks from the tightness in her throat. “No, it isn’t Macon. He’s good. He’s beee-” Squeak. She finally sobs and allows herself to lean onto Alvina’s paint-speckled embrace. After a solid minute of sobbing it out she manages to speak, though her consonants have been dulled by the snot in her nose and throat. “Is nod Magob.” [It’s not Macon.] Alvina’s experience understanding toddlers will come in handy understanding Josleen, whose player will not write in this ‘accent’ as a gesture of goodwill, but please hear Josleen’s words like she’s a flu-infected cry monster who can’t stop talking until she unburdens herself by getting all this off her chest in one go. “You know my father is an elf, and so I’m--”More sobs, more spilled tears. “I can’t have a baby, but I want one so much, so so much. And Macon is a king, and he needs an heir, but even if he wasn’t a king, I just want to be a mother, and then-” More sobs. “So I’ve been trying to fix this,” she gestures in frustration at her lower abdomen, “for months, but nothing works. And Macon,” Squeak-sobs. “He’s been so patient and good and I just love him so much, but what if this isn’t fixed? Would he need to find someone else?” Sobs. “He says no, that we will fix this, but what if? And then for my birthday.” Alvina’s shirt is likely soaked at the shoulder now. “He surprised me with a nursery. It’s perfect, he got it exactly right, but it made me realize that he’s grieving about this too.” The King is not; Josleen is projecting here. Macon, in truth, has exponentially more patience, but Josleen interpreted that nursery as a sign that the King is also sad about their inability to conceive. “And I feel like I can’t tell anyone because he’s a King and if his lineage is imperiled it could be used to undermine him at worst, or just embarrass us. And I am embarrassed that I cannot do this one thing that women are supposed to be able to do, and I just want a child. I want a child so badly.”

Alvina -can- understand this speech so it’s better that it’s not written in a way to confuse her author. Her arms tighten around Jos as the full weight of the flood begins, she fills the sobbing silence with reassuring remarks [Shh, it’s okay, Joooos] until she mentions this bit about Macon finding someone else. Alvina fights against her instinct to stiffen. Taking care of Josleen makes it a little easier. Think of her and what she needs! So the bard remains silent as Josleen gets Huds’s shirt (sorry Huds) soaked through with tears and questionable snot globs through the handkerchief. It’s understandable when one goes on a cry-raid. “I don’t know Macon very well but I know he loves you, and if he loves you, it doesn’t matter what happens. He’ll stand beside you and you will figure out a way to overcome this together. Really and truly. He cares more about you than an heir, more about you as a person than this whole kingdom I bet (she doesn’t know, but it sounds great on paper). He picked you to be his bride, and you -will- be a wonderful mother. “ She doesn’t know what they’ve tried, or about Muzo so it’s easy for Alvina to assume it’s witch related. That’s how she’d been able to have babies. “I know the feeling… I swear I do, Jos. Between the two you, I know you’ll find a solution. You are not a quitter, and I can tell Macon isn’t either. You’ve come through -so- much in your life to be happy. This obstacle is nothing. It will bring you closer, solving this problem together. As a TEAM.” Alvina the cheerleader. “Love endures. It makes the impossible possible and it tests us but doesn’t break us. There are so many knowledgeable birthing experts out there, that I wouldn’t doubt if you find yourself with child before the end of the year.” She smiles, and hopes it’s reassuring. Gigi is sniffing some bit of garbage on the floor, ignoring the women. The toddlers likewise snooze through this tiff. Alvina chews on her guilt of mentioning another child and continues stirring her hand along Josleen’s back in the empty house. The sound of her crying echos, tiny shockwaves of sadness. Harper whimpers in her sleep and rolls onto her sister for comfort.

Josleen nods with Alvina’s cheerleading as she tries to recompose her face and choke back and swallow the snot. “Gods, he’s been so patient. I’ve cried on him so many times about this…. And the nursery.” Her lip quivers every time she thinks of the nursery that may forever be empty. “Macon believes it’s just a matter of time and money, that a solution is inevitable. But he would, you know? He always believes things will work out as he wills them… and well… so far that’s true. Except with this.” She pauses. “I have surgery tomorrow. We hired a naga scientists who has been working on a cure. He tested this on a mule, and it did foal, so.” But mules aren’t half-elves. “I’m so scared of this surgery. It’s intense, very invasive, a complete replacement of some parts. What if I don’t wake up?” She rubs at her eyes to dry them. “Macon will be with me. But if something goes wrong, what can he do?” Gigi finds a week old potato wedge in the hearth. JACKPOT. He eats it.

Alvina doesn’t like when naga are involved. It’s her own racist experience that most nagas are shifty. “I won’t tell a soul.” She promises, in case Josleen is worried about being embarrassed further. No matter what Hudson’s views on the witch situation, Alvina won’t tell him. It’ll be a secret, just the ...maybe four of them? Macon, Josleen, Alvina and...naga scientist. It makes her skin crawl to think about it. Was this the best way? Was it the only way? Alvina also believed most things were a matter of time and money, will power and determination! If you wanted it bad enough, you’d have it. Alvina holds Josleen’s hand, patting her fair skin with her fleshed digits. “If something goes wrong, Macon can do -anything-. He’s the king. He has all the power, all the money, and you are the love of his life so he’d stop at nothing to make sure you wake up. That you have a healthy beautiful child and that all your wishes come true Josleen.” Would he though? And what was the naga’s angle. “Don’t think about the possibility of failure. You’ll only cause yourself more stress. The more stress you put your body under now, the harder it will be to heal and for the surgery to be successful. Believe in your scientist, in your husband, and in yourself.” Alvina makes a mental note to send flowers to Josleen, regardless of what transpires. “And write to me as soon as you are able. I want to come see your motherly glow in a few weeks.” She smiles.

Josleen sniffs loudly as Alvina advises her to focus on the positive outcomes over the potentially negative ones. ‘Love of Macon’s life’ seems a bit premature, but she likes to think it will be true. It’s early, they’re still newlyweds, it’s easy now to be in love. Who knows what the future will have in store for them, but she feels she can weather any future as a mother, with the joy of a child giving her purpose, and if she’s lucky, a good husband too. “I hope you’re right. It’s been so hard. I feel really lucky to have Macon. We hardly knew each other when we decided to get married, so I wasn’t sure what I was getting into, but it’s worked out really well so far. ...Are you hungry? I could do with something greasy and salty. I can send a guard to pick it up for us, and drinks? I don’t want to go back to the castle. Too much pressure to be… Queenly” she air quotes the word, “And with the surgery tomorrow, I’m not sure I can manage.”

Alvina waves her hand, “Of course, of course. I’m starving.” Luna and Harper go on snoring, requiring no attention so Alvina can keep being in Jos friend mode. Being a mom had a lot of good points in addition to a thousand bad points. Children are loud, terrible, cruel but they also do cute things like yawn and the nightmare parts are WORTH IT. “You deserve it. Let me haul out my foot tub. Have a spa day.” She laughs, fully aware Hudson would have to come get these children soon. “Let me tell you about our new neighbors. Have you heard of the Easts?” Surely Josleen has heard. The husband is a famous rapper and his wife is famous for...having a huge backside. Is that a reason to be famous? Alvina tells Josleen all about it, and the new house while the guard is fetching whatever food Jos orders for them. Alvina hasn’t been eating well, she’s still a little thick from being a mom. It’s difficult fat to work out of. Don’t judge her, internet. As soon as she has a handful of whatever greasy thing she ordered, Alvina sighs with delight. “This was - the- best idea.” She admits, feeding Gigi a fresh fry, as soft hearted women are prone to do with cute dogs.

Josleen orders pizza, fries, nachos, everything. Honey beer and margaritas, check. The guard seems amused by the two women who are about to scarf down a meal that even some soldiers would say is ‘too much’. She gossips about the Easts, welcoming the distraction from her personal problems. Did Alvina know that the wife once married a professional athlete for like, what, two months? He wanted to move out to Venturil and she did not for the obvious reason that Venturil is in the middle of nowhere and has nothing. She asks about the house and the upcoming wedding. Where will Alvina get married? Has she any ideas for dresses? Would she like the contact information of her illusionist who kept her looking pristine at her own wedding? He’s great. Gigi begs for pizza and nachos, which he is denied, because he is fat now. As Josleen grows tipsy she laughs and speaks louder with intent to wake the girls. She wants to hold them and play with them and soak up their bubbly energy and fantasize through them about her own future children. She hopes she’ll have many, but the odds are against her.

Alvina tells Josleen about how she’d love an illusionist, but don’t tell Hudson because he’ll think it’s cheating. She should be on a diet, even if Hudson never complained about her thighness. She’s happy to gossip about the Easts, it’s so glamorous to have neighbors you can talk about. Josleen has to come meet them some time! The house is beautiful, it has a pool (with a fence for the babies) and this BATHTUB. Alvina goes into way too much detail about the bathtub, how you could stand in it, when Harper starts to whimper from the depths of her baby pit. Alvina tries to apologize, but she can tell Josleen wants to hang out with them. Alvina introduces Josleen as Aunt Queenie and Harper is passed off easily to the Queen while Luna continues to nap lazily in her mother’s arms. Alvina has gotten good at multitasking and continues to eat Pizza and drink her honey beer between soothing Luna’s little sleepy murmurs. Harper has woven her hands into Josleen’s hair and is tugging at her clothes, expecting Josleen to feed her the same way mom does. Embarrassing. “Harper, no…” Alvina tries to scold her but the babe fusses loudly in frustration before trying to grab at Gigi’s tail. “Are you sure you want this?” Alvina asks, weighing the scales of giving Josleen one of the girls instead. “Two for one special?” She offers, laughing drunkenly as the guards look on.

Josleen is absolutely enchanted by the hair pulling and awkward boob groping, which Harper is discouraged from doing. Alvina asks if she’s sure she wants this, and Josleen just smiles. She does, she really does. Gigi, however, with his tail recently pulled, is less enthusiastic about the babies and sits away from the women and toddlers. Nah, he came here for the food, not the low key animal abuse. Josleens stays with Alvina and the girls as long as she can possibly get away with before responsibilities call either one of them away. When it’s time to go, she’s tearful as she embraces Alvina good bye and she promises to write more and make an effort to visit Cenril as soon as she can.