RP:Mayhem 1
Summary: Two people meets and clash in wild mayhem. More mayhem might follow afterward.
Characters: Impontus - Gnome Druid, Schalk - Human Custom, Svilfon - Human Mage (later in a minor part)
Location: Xialous, Kelay Tavern
Date: Feb 8, 2011
Warning: Some rude terms are used in this RP.
Impontus carefully scrapped a bit of wood from the door of the infamous mage tower and dropped the precious splinter into a vial which was then sealed. He then gasped when the vial was dropped, "Boten! Filthy luck to be had!" Feeling the rage surging within his little dark heart, Impontus snapped up the vial, thankfully unbroken. The other fist cleched in fusteration, he slapped the door with it and his gnomish impatience grew unstastifed. "Who had distrubed me?!?"
Schalk looks up from the iritating rat who's skull he's just thumped in with the heavy knob at the end of his staff to find the source of the commotion behind him. It takes him a moment to locate the raging gnome shaking his miniature fists at him. He narrows his eyes and then closes one eye in imitation of one of the gods of the elvergasts own people. A grumbled g'day is given, but the elvergast is currently not very talkative. Indeed he has not been so ever since his wretched arrival by shipwreck on the shores of Cenril. A fair g'day to him after so many years absence. For a moment he stares one-eyed at the form at the door, then he turns to find another pestilent creature to thump into the ground out of the pure malice that can be found inside his character today.
Impontus said, "That's all? Botenburg of all mutes!" Given no suitable answer to his question, the gnome felt rather offended that no satsfication was given to him by the odd man. Seeing as there was no other person other than the robed fellow thumping those rats lurking in the mud, Impontus pushed the vial into his backpack and pointed at him. "G'day huh? A member of the druids like you and I should know better than to interrupt one's collection of magical items with such a banal activity." Not quite trusting Schalk to give a better answer or that he would cease his infernal thumping, the gnome hissed and shooed the rats away into deeper holes and gullies. "Begone, your company isn't needed here!"
Schalk finds his eyes opening wide, a fiery glare and a snarl of bared teeth flashed at the infirnal gnome "What by Hel are you talking about?" he roars "How did you get it in your thick blasted skull to tell me to bugger off? I am here to think, standing here in quiet, occasionally stopping the rats from getting too pesky, and you come blundering in and disturb my deep thoughts... you bugger off!" The elvergast throws his rune embroidered cloak back and points the heavy end of his staff at the pestilent miniature of a druid "Shag off before you end up like those buggered damn things!"
“What? Me disturbing you? That's a laugh!” Impontus spat, “And how lowly educated can you be to misconstruct my request WHICH was directed to the rats? But then...” A mischievous sneer came up rather wickedly on the little gnome, “I can image you confusing yourself with vermin, hehahah!” Picking up the backpack, the overloaded druid limped sideways to bypass the heavy staff and took a couple of steps forward with his walking stick pressing down through the soggy mud. Under his high-pitched chortling, a hissing suspicion were whispered and Impontus' eyes flicked back to the strange human which had rather unclear intentions yet to be seen. Uncertain paranoia became a louder hiss in his teeth. “I shall be off if you wish to wallow in the mud!” Impontus said in false cheerful but truthfully rather cruel jest.
Schalk sticks his foot out a tiny bit, sweeping the walking stick out of the limping miniature's hands, sending him sprawling into the mud. "Twat..." the elvergast spits at him. He takes a swipe at the rat that has crawled out of a hole on the side of the road, whacking it full in the head, sending spatters of rat blood and mud over the gnome. A grin appears on his face "Oh I am sorry, I thought I was breaking your skull... you are so easy to mistake for a rat..."
Horrified of the irony in being facedown in the mud, Impontus slipped under and out the backpack's thick sturdy straps with the grimy stick still in hand. “Rat, vermin, baboon... You...” he rubbed his long ears in stunned rage. The pulse pounding and the bloodrush had turned his ears uncomfortably hot. Impontus yelled “Pay for this, you wart of hellspawn!” and threw his stick at the man's head. It wasn't the only thing he threw, sparks of fire leapt out of his en-longed fingers, “Go forth and burn that fool!” Impontus was proud, too proud of his flame slamanders.
Schalk almost carelessly mutters a charm and draws a circle in the mud around the salamanders, containing the small nasty beasts. As he writes the rune to extinguish fire on the edge of the muddy circle, the small salamanders slowly die. Having finished that, his own eyes flare up with a sudden rage "That's it," he mumbles and with a call to "Wêda!" the god of war, wisdom and insanity of his people he slams the heavy staff down at the gnome "Run! Run! Run!"
Impontus yelped as he nimbly dodged the thwacks coming down at him. Being suddenly disappointed in his dear flame slamanders, Impontus's rage became as a jug with its water spilled out, temporarily wiped away in an instant. With his rage temporarily gone and a fear of physical harm filling up, Impontus didn't think of fighting back, but had dodged quite a few blows and swings. After a couple of too-close calls, he took further advantage of his small agile form and slid onto the mud through Schalk's wide stance to the other side. His backpack and walking stick lying in the mud here and over there was completely forgotten as the gnome made good speed up the mountain road. “Manic... loony... insane!” He shouted what he had thought of Schalk with each quick leap from a rock to the next above the mud slog.
Impontus ran into a random human leg and fell down onto the hard wooden floor. The panic within didn't permit the little gnome to stay still for long. With that fear, he bolted to the nearest table and clutched a support beam in quivering fear undereth.
Schalk shouted, "Run you damned little rat! Run by all the Gods, you little piece of filth! Run!"
Schalk charges into the tavern, slamming the door open and with one swift move sending the heavy knob at the end of his staff into the face of the bouncer to make sure he won't interfere with the elvergast's hunt of a piece of vermin. The bouncer out, he looks round menacingly "Run... little rat... oh, you can run far and wide, but I'll bash your damned skull in for that...."
Impontus gasped at the loud insults in knowing that his newfound enemy was still after him. He let go of the post and put his face down to the floor, the uncleaned dirt splayed onto his face. Ignoring the grime touching him and he then whispered, "Friend of the earth, come come quick! I am in danger. Rise up and protect me!" A squirt of mud came up through the cracks and pooled beside the pleading druid. "Yes that's it, protect your friend!"
Schalk grins broadly as he hears the squeaking voice and notices the slight movement under the table. With another call on Wêda, that god of his tribe, he jumps forward, using his staff as a pols to leap high up into the air and land on the table. "Come out you yellow bellied little guinea pig" he whispers threateningly, slowly scraping the end of his staff over the edge of the wooden table, forming curse runes, a gesture of pure symbolism and threat, cause he will not let curses do for him what he should do with his own hands, avenge the insult given by this vermin.
Feeling rather awkward with such a belligerent man yelling at him in front of so many people, Impontus closed his eyes, “Mud elemental, take your form to do your duty.” The mud pool burbled happily at the gnome and thickened into a column and began to seep upward onto the tabletop. “Go now, my mud creature, punish him before he puts a curse on your friend!”Impontus directed, “Cover the runes and take his bad stick away!” Conflicted between coming out of the table to do a better directing and staying under the table away from the watching crowd, Impontus creeped to another post of the table and peeked upward.
Schalk nimbly leaps up from the table, landing on another, sending several tankards flying across the public house. Waving his staff at the mud creature he drops onto the floor, rolling over to the side of the table underneath which the pesky gnome is still hiding. With a swift move he flings his staff round and stabs underneath the table without much paying attention to the exat position of the gnome. To escape getting his embroidered cloak dirty, he rolls away again, avoiding the mudsplatters of the creature conjured by the muddy little vermin. "Come on you little twat..." the elvergast grumbles
Seeing the man jumped off the table above him and then came back under it, Impontus panicked and gestured, “He's here! He's here, hit him, mud!” The mud column made a squleching sound as it squeezed out an almost shapeless arm through another floor crack. Thickening, the arm joined the column and swung for the enemy it instinctively recognized and swung again. While the arm was swinging away at Schalk, the druid skittered out into the open. “Stay back, you gorilla! I have a half mind to strangle you for your unforgivable rudeness!”
Schalk continues to roll, swinging his staff's butt end at the small legs of the gnome. With a lightning move he then twists and stands, avoiding another attack by the second cheap trick conjured by the little rat. Finding the mud column to now become rather irritating he grabs a bench from underneath one of the patrons of Mesthak's establishment with his right hand and takes a huge swing at the mud elemental, sending mud splattering all over the tavern. As he moves, the staff in his left hand traces the gnome and within moments the eyes also turns his way and the hunt is resumed, ignoring the muddy mess. "Rudeness? Me? How can a tiny wee pillock who called me vermin earlier accuse me of that?" The elvergast smiles "And you did see what I do with annoying rats..."
Svilfon gets covered in mud. He smiles.. dirtily?
Impontus said “I did not try to kill you, dundering loon!” Flinching and seeing the man crawling out being obviously enraged to the point of being homicidal, Impontus shrunk away from him, slipping under a row of tables and bumping into chairs, benches and personal objects. Shouting as he climbed up the wall of the bar counter,“Mud, do something! Take him, anything!” The gnome hung onto the counter's edge for a moment to see if the mud remnants was going to do something. Seeing that the mud was taking a bit too slow to pool together, the gnome flipped up onto the counter and slipped behind the mildly surprised bartender.
Svilfon winces and does an audible 'gulp' as he watches the little gnome go behind the bar... He had seen what Mesthak does to people who did that.. In fact, he rather enjoyed the fermin stew that the old barkeep made out of the last person foolish enough to jump over the counter.
Schalk just grins at the remark "No, but I am trying to kill you now, unless you're willing to apologize and admit that you are a useless, feckless, no-good, pansy, pestilent little twat..." he grumbles at the infernal gnome. Standing still for a moment the elvergast waits for an answer, but as he is in a fairly mad mood this day, burning with impatience and intolerance for anything that dares to disturb his thoughts, then decides not to wait for the pest to make such an admission and simply swiped as the gnome. Yet as the heavy end of the staff flies in the direction of the gnome, it encounters an obstacle: the fat dwarven head of Mesthak. Never having liked Mesthak much, Schalk bursts out laughing before swiping a second time, this time sending a fair supply of drink flying from the bar.
Svilfon lets out a high-pitched 'arrghh!' as he watches Mesthak get hit by Schalk. He knows for sure now that the dwarf will throw the man out of his bar, and maybe even make some special Schalk pie.
Impontus ducked and leapt aside as the bartender fell down along with his drinks. The gnome knew there was no way he would bow to the irrational demands, certainly not to any of lesser birth than of his. “I refuse! The fault lies on your shoulders, not I!” Impontus once again took off quickly on his little speedy legs along the backside of the bar. He didn't see that alcohols were already spilled all over the floorboards and so the gnome slipped and fell down on his back. The mixed drinks soaked his shirt quickly on that side like water and gave him an idea. The druid stood up on his hands and knees, and spoke in giggles “Water, water, rise up and teach him a lesson!” Distilling itself from the drinks, pure water surged up the bar in another similar shapeless form. Moving much faster than mud, the water elemental came straight up from the counter for Schalk's nostrils.
Svilfon pulls his wonderful hat down over his eyes as the foolish duo spills Mesthak's drinks. Knowing well the dwarf's avaricious nature, he is too afraid to watch the inevitable outburst of dwarven rage.
Schalk allows a stream of swear words to flow past his lips, most of them used to enhance the names he has for the gnome. A momentary concern, and a distraction from his joy at having thumped Mesthak on his dwarven skull, is the water surging up towards him. With a duck he lets the water elemental go past him, only to swipe behind his back, sending a flow of water after the mud across the room. Using his staff as a pols again he vaults the counter, making sure to land one boot on an dazed Mesthak's nose. Looking down at the wet little rat, he grins maliciously and rams the butt end of the staff down towards the irritant.
Impontus groaned as the staff glanced off his potbelly's side very roughly. He held his stomach in pain, looking up into the eyes of Schalk. Impontus bent down and hopped over the counter onto a table and made a loud crack as his tailbone hit the wood hard. "Ugh," Impontus rolled onto his feet and waddled off the table in full knowledge that the determined human would be likely to continue the pursuit to here a barely standing table that wouldn't hardly stand the weight of a great thumping human. Impontus continued to waddle in an awkward step. The pain in his side was completely forgotten with the backside screaming louder at his nerves, "Ow! Ow!" Spying the nonchalant barmaid, he jumped and flopped on the floor and squeaked under the wide dress. Hopefully, he would still have enough time to bring up another mud elemental through the floorboards. Impontus smiled.
Svilfon has had enough of the violence and the mayhem in the tavern. The inept wizard makes quick haste to the door, into the freedom of the slightly-less-violent outside world.
Schalk whoops as he sees the paincrazed gnome run. Within moments he too has leapt across the bar into the wet and muddy public room, only to burst out into a laughing fit as he sees the little rat has forgotten he doesn't actually have a tail. His eyes fill with tears of laughter and he is barely able to follow the gnome through the tears, but just manages to glimpse the little twat disappear between Nancy's legs. The elvergast staggers over, tapping the edge of Nancy's skirt and looking her straight in the eye, barely containing his laughter "Nancy... I think you have a twat between your legs..." Again the elvergast bursts out laughing, staggering backwards slightly, knocking over a table and some bottles and tankards in the process.
Impontus heard Nancy, the barmaid, made a gasping sound and she said in a weary voice, “Hon, I've heard them all, including yours. I've enough. Bugger off, I don't need to show my 'twat' to you. I don't need to see yours neither.” She turned and paused with a loaded tray, “Eeek!” Nancy jumped and dumped her tray onto somebody sitting at the next table. “What was that?!” She points at a strange brown bubbling form seeping through a dozen cracks between floorboards. Impontus cackled as he commanded “Take form! Take it!” The mud slurped an agreement and swelled to a height of 7 feet. A bit quicker than the previous mud elemental, the arms and legs grew out to the length of a tall staff. While Schalk and Nancy (and her bouncer) was being distracted by the lumbering elemental. Impontus ran in a blur out the door without a laugh nor any other sound.
Schalk roars with laughter a a big brown column now appears between Nancy's legs. "No, I was wrong! It's not a twat, it's a pillock!" The elvergast almost falls sideways as he laughs his head off. He knows the little rat will be scarpering, but he can't help himself now. Slowly he manages to get some control through bursts of laughter as the new mud creature takes a more subtle form, but this time there is a much more convenient way of dealing with the mud, as another pillock has just stood erect after having spend his whole fill of liveliness of the end of the elvergasts staff at the very entrance of the man. Schalk hooks the bouncer's ankles back and sends him headfirst into the mud creature. Waggling slightly, still laughing his head off, the elvergast sidesteps the muddy creatures and steps out, going to find the pesky gnome.