RP:Look What the Frog Dragged In

From HollowWiki

Part of the How to Train your Wizard Arc



  • Satoshi, Kit-vampire, Frost Singer.





Satoshi crouches alert and perfectly still upon a hillock of rock, eyes never leaving the small herd of Frostmares slowly grazing their way in her direction. The only thing that moves upon the kit are her tails, uncontrollably flicking with contained excitement even while the rest of her grows a healthy coating of snow from lack of movement.


Svilfon had sneaked up with Satoshi, his dark robes and hat white now with the layers of newly fallen snow. There is a blue tinge to his lips, forgotten in the mounting excitement. And thankfully, the two had already eaten breakfast before they came out. He watches the Frostmares with keen interest, before leaning in to whisper to Satoshi. "They're the frozen nightmares? They don't seem too scary."


Satoshi leans back slightly, to the tune of crackling frost, to whisper in return, "Wait until you see their teeth. And they've their own fire~." One of the nearest icy horses lifts its head then toward the sky, dark blue nostrils flaring as they expel a thick cloud of mist. An uneasy whicker comes from the animal and swiftly tension begins to build among the herd. "D-dammit... somethin' spooked 'em? We were so quiet..."


Uchawiman was like a meteor. No I'm serious. If you'd ever seen a meteor and compared it to a insane voodoo frog in a purple tuxedo and orange robe standing on a giant dodo shooting down from the sky with lots of smoke and strange lights you'd know how friggin similar they are. It's like twins, really. Only one twin is blonde and the other... uh... has nails for hair? What. Never seen nail hair? It's not that rare. Honest. Not where I live. So there. Think about that for a moment while the frog yells "Yoozha!" and crashes into the snow like a catapult shot. With the boom and the snow everywhere and the needless special effects using way too much sprinkles and loud noises. Why does no one put any money in script writing anymore!? I mean.. killer turtles!!


Svilfon was about to reply to Satoshi when he sees... something... shooting across the sky. Was it a meteor? In a tuxedo?! Ice-cold hands rub his eyes to ensure he's not been partaking of too much pixie-dust, before he manages a, "Yoozha?!" Without waiting for his companion, the wizard stands up and yells out - attempts at stealth forsaken in the light of the very fine special effects showings - sparks and snow, loud booms and few explosions just because - "Call me a bald wizard, aren't you bastards extinct?" He was talking to the dodo, it seems - the saner one of the pair.


Satoshi's reaction is quieter than Svilfon's, although it's slightly more animated, what with a jump, backpedal, flail, and graceless tumble down the hillock she's been perched upon. While the wizard is hailing... whatever the hell it was that just came pelting out of the sky in a torrent of color, smoke, and feathers, the kit is left attempting to free her upper half from the mound of snow she's fallen into, and silently hoping the demon-goat doesn't make a sudden appearance right now too. She's yet to recover from that last offense!


Uchawiman flew off the dodo in a... well. Jump. Obviously. He twirled on the spot like a crazy flailing draedle in robes. Hopped to the side twice. Let's count. One. Two. Raised his stick for a staff like a Broadway showman did waaaay back. You know? Holding it in two hands horizontally? Iike a hose or really really annoying little sibling? Yeah. "Extinct, maan? Death be only a transit!" he says and hops in the OTHER direction THREE times and smacks the pointy end of the stick against the dodo like an archeologist trying to smack out that darn sarcophagus so the mummy can come out and make some decent actions of this. Because mummies have super-powers. "Squawk!" goes the dodo and BOOM! Now it's tiny. "Mi da uchawiman." Says the frog. spins the staff like a windmill and then leans on it like a gentleman or something. Grinning at Svilfon. "At yu service, mebe? Yu got da shinies?"


Svilfon spends a long, long moment staring at Ucha, before slowly turning his head to regard his companion. She, it seems, is head down in snow flailing about. He is tempted, oh so tempted, to leave her there... But in light of their rather bruised egos, and the fact they have their pact, he tips his hat to the Frog with, "gimmie a moment!" before trudging down the snow path. He waits for the snow queen's legs to be as least flaily as they can, before he grabs her by the boots. With a huff he begins to pull, dragging her out the words, "You sure that's just fluff?" With a cough he continues to pull her up the snowbank, before depositing her back down. A gap-toothed grin is flashed at the ruffled queen, before the magnifience of Ucha is appreciated in full. "Mi da Uchawiman? Mi da Svilfon, man. How goes it, Uchawi? Shinies?" He reaches into his pocket, "Always carry spare ones of these." He flicks some small golden objects down by Ucha, "What do you do?".. The moment he asked it, the wizard can't help regret it. If -that- is what he does casually, gods only know what he'll do when asked.


Satsohi is freed! And insulted, all in the same gesture, but she at least has the decency to wait until she's set down before she shoots Svilfon a look full of threats and promises. He'll pay for the fluff remark, oh yes, but not until later. For right now, there's a peculiar sight hopping back and forth across the snow that requires her attention. "Ah," the magus begins lamely, her mind racing to catch up on the exchanges, "and moi da Satoshi? Ahem. I... where in the name of hellfire did you come from?!"


Uchawiman looked at Svilfon like he was -reaaaaaaally- frikkin stupid. Like, seriously. Know that kid who didn't even know about the moon? -that- stupid. Yeah. "Da impossible." he says! And... well. Guess that's true. Really true, in fact! Oh and I forgot to mention: He caught the coins before they hit the ground and sorta made them disappear or something. While pointing the stick-staff at Svilfon. In a really annoying fashion. Just like when someone holds their finger just outside of your eyesight? Like that. That annoying. Then Satoshi asked a question. And the frog said: "Mi?" and pointed at the sky. And BOOM! It became a snake! But not a normal snake. A snake that shot like a rope up to the sky. And yeah, it reached. Ever seen that? I have. IT WAS CREEPY! "da sky, maan."


Uchawiman 's little dodo said: "Squawk."


Svilfon was doing his best to ignore the promises of retribution flashed at him by the very petite, finely figured Satoshi who had the perfect amount of fluff to fat ratio. << He sleeps here, damnit! He doesn't want to wake up as dinner. And yes, I used the << in a post. It's allowed! Ah, now, Ucha was speaking, and giving him that -look-. The 'are your parents related' look. Well, he'd huff, "The impossible?!" More questions would have come, were it not for the snake being cast into the sky like a rope. Damn snakes! The wizard's one true fear. Stupid duels, he should never have picked them - they're bloody everywhere. But damnit, he had, so with a girlish yelp and a backwards jump, Svil soon takes path down the track recently made by Satoshi, and soon into the very same pile of snow. Except he goes in feet first, until all that's left is a pointy-hat-wearing giant snowball, which occasionally lets out indignified 'Hrrrmmpphhss.'


Satoshi might have preened if she knew Svilfon's praising thoughts, but she's no mind-reader and there's a snake rocketing into the sky to distract her. The serpent is regard almost placidly, the same look given to the wizardly snowman that's just sprouted up down the hill, before it's flicked to Uchawiman. "Snakes in the air aren't impossible. I've got one with wings." Yes, that -is- a challenge, frogman.


Uchawiman pulled the snakes tail. Zoink! There's the staff again! And he smacked it into the ground with a badoof!! sound. Like those sounds you make when something big happened but it'll take a while to appear so that people can doubt you did anything just for the hell of it? Yeah. Heck. There's even the obligatory flurry of snow and stuff! And the excited squawking of the dodo! Sooo many tropes! "Da form naa matta. Onlee spirit. Anytin can fly. Jus give it flight."


Satoshi said, "I don't care about giving flight! I want to see this 'impossible' you can do~."


Svilfon pulls himself from the snowball with another 'hrrmphs'. He begins the tredge back up the hill, before hearing the froggies proclamation. Anything can fly! He likes the sound that! He begins to half run, half crawl up the hill in his excitement, before his pointy-hatted head pokes over the top to regard the Ucha-man and his dodo, "Anything?!" He flashes Satoshi a sideways glance, "Flying goats! We'd be unbeatable!" His eyes flash back to the frog and dodo, before he lets out his own, "Squaaahhhk." Dodo's should not be excluded from conversations.


Satoshi meets Svilfon's glance with a wide, vulpine grin. An army of winged headbutters? That's her kind of force. It might not be -impossible-, but it was definitely something she wants to see. "Can you do that, Hops?" she asks of Uchawiman, although her eyes have shifted to the dodo, and she answers her own question with that look. If this frog can make an extinct, flightless bird fly... surely a goat is no problem?


Uchawiman grinned widely and gave a showman bow, sweeping his hat all fancily and stuff. "Easy, maan.." and then the drumming started. Creepy dolls popped out of the snow beating small drums in a tribe-stuff kinda rhythm like in indiana jones movies. And they just drummed faster too. Ucha twirled his staff again. Stopped. Spun on the spot. And strange lights went crazy around the frog. ...well.. almost as crazy as the frog. He's really hard to beat you know. Anyway. Then he started thwaping the dodo with the staff. And every time he did. It exploded in light and became another animal. All of them strangely colored. Oh and with wings. Can't forget the wings. Guess they drank red bull or somethin'. Fish. Moose. Elephant. Shark. Penguin. Bear. Weasel. Boar. Albatross. Horse. Giant dinosaur... there we are. Goat. "see?" said the frog. And pointed at Svilfon. "He paid for dat.". The goat said: "squawk." wait what? Twhonk! Ahem! "Baaaah."


Satoshi's frown at being called "Man"--or "Maan" more accurately--all but transforms into a look of delight at the parade of winged animals. Oh, if only both her arms worked, then she'd be able to clap in appreciation! Most especially at the goat's appearance, although a flicker of rage dances across the kit's features for the briefest of moments. "I think that's much better than a Nightmare, wizard. That's a right Horror, in all its bleating glory~."


Svilfon lifts his hand up to give Satoshi something to clap against.


Uchawiman repeats himself. He does that. People do that. Do you do that? I do that. It's annoying. I like annoying people. Really. Narrate this frog long enough and you'd get strange and vengeful too. "Form naa matta. Onlee spirit." Yeah. See he'd said that. The goat? It looked at the frog confusedly and was like: "Mooo?"


Satoshi borrows Svilfon's hand so she can clap for the first time in a year!


Svilfon responds to the froggy with his arm in the air, "Me thinks, Uchiwa-man, your goat's got an identity crisis." He looks up at the clapping Satie, "An army of mooing goats?! The bug'll be crushed beneath their hooves of fury!"


Satoshi nods in solemn agreement. "We've already met the might of the goat. Harnessing it and using it against the greater evils is our -destiny-."


Uchawiman said to Svilfon, "Mi knows. It does dat."


Uchawiman pulled at his hat and spun it on top of his head. It didn't stop either. Spin spin spin... "Free sample." he says and pushes the confused winged goat over to the other two. "Mi'll be back ta offa me business. Nao, me gotta go get mi momma. She be dead again." said the frog and POOF. Now he's a swan with sunglasses. Oh and it's pink and green. And flies off. Heck yeah.


Satoshi is never going to feed off those shady guys in Rynvale's back alley ever again. EVER.


Svilfon gets himself finally to his feet as he tips his hat to the frog-swan-surely-insane Ucha. "Do come back, Ucha-man. With you, we will rule the word!" He flashes a gap-toothed grin, before looking at the snow queen, "We don't talk about that, lady queen!" He gives the << look. "Not when others may hear!" He straightens his hat upon his head as he claims back his afore-used clapping hand. "Though, frankly, I don't think he'd," he motions to the departing swan-frog, "be believed if he knew!"


Satoshi eyes the goat that's gnawing on the hem of her coat. The goat eyes her back, and offers a muffled, "Miyew" in greeting. Definitely not going to Rynvale again when hungry.


Svilfon takes a casual step away from the goat. He'd learned his lesson last time.