RP:Laezila's Confession

From HollowWiki

Part of the Thy Kingdom Come Arc



Summary: Laezila visits Hildegarde and confesses what 'crime' she committed in Frostmaw. The knight absolves her of this crime, explaining to her that she acted only in self-defense and that if she had not acted as she did, she likely would not be standing there now. The former matron asks Hildegarde to promise to take care in the upcoming battle for Frostmaw.

Great Hall of Vailkrin

Laezila 's steps echoed through the Great Hall of Vailkrin's grandoise capitol building and resonated throughout the mostly-empty chamber that stretched onward from her path in the center aisle; between the two long tables she moved in from the south, clad in a stark, vivid red dress that accented her lithe, paled ebony body and evn the glittering white hair that was loosely tumbled about smooth, slender shoulders. The vampire managed to garner a nice feeding, sleep, and bath since her period of time homeless and wandering the forests of Vailkrin and Sage. She looked all the better for it, but the time to leave and go to the bottom of the ocean with Kreekitaka, where drow wouldn't get her and she'd be relatively safe until Frostmaw was in the right hands once more, was nearing, and she had a visit to make before such; Hildegarde. Crystalline blue eyes, like a cloudless summer sky, swept over the Hall as she strode, flanked by either table. The depictions of Vakmathras made her shudder; the dark god and her were not on the best of terms, and the former matron could not help but wonder if Death had a special torment reserved just for her and her defiance when she went. The young woman was always condescending of the gods, to outright not caring, until her life turned upside down. Now she had burned nearly all her bridges from the Underdark, and thus gave room for exploration for Aramoth, though the dark elf wasn't very religious by any means. Where was the Steward? Her steps waned, ebbed, and came to cease before the third table, aligned horizontally in contrast to the pair that ran lengthwise, and clearly reserved for the company of the host.

Hildegarde entered the Great Hall from the council chambers, which seemed to be where she spent the majority of her time surveying maps and documents about potential alliances or potential resources she might gather in order to aid her quest of reclaiming Frostmaw. The Silver left the council room with Lisbeth and Mikael, who both saw fit to head straight for a dining table and see to some lunch. The knight, however, caught sight of Laezila. “Laezila,” she greeted, making her way over to her with a relieved expression on her face. “It’s good to see you again. You’ve been well, I trust?”

Laezila 's face, despite their previous interaction in which the drow couldn't fathom that the Silver was still alive, much less standing right before her, brightened upon the sight the muscular woman. "It's been trying, but I've been... okay, since I saw you," she confessed. "I have missed you terribly," the girl confessed.

Hildegarde smiled at Laezila, “I’ve missed you, too. You’ve been staying at Larewen’s house?” she asked Laezila, wondering if she was staying with the vampire or perhaps staying with Kreekitaka instead. They would both offer ample protection from the drow: one with their magic and one with their sheer combat skills and distance from the drow.

Laezila shook her head and leaned in slightly, to whisper conspiratorially while she sought to entwine her hands with those of the (former?) Knight's, "Just did for a few days. The plays reeks of Daath D'Jiv'undus, and his House hated mine. ...I don't think it's safe at all." She shrugged a shoulder, "After Ayras I just sort of... wandered." Homeless. "But I'm going to Kreekitaka soon, and I'll be staying there until you make things right in Frostmaw. Then I will come home." Briefly, the girl glanced to the escorts, suspiciously, though she squeezed the hands of the dragon briefly in reassurance. "I don't want to add to your worries while you have to focus on it."

Hildegarde did not remove her hands from Laezila’s grasp, therefore permitting the drow to grasp her hands. “Well, as long as you’re safe now, that’s what matters,” the knight said thoughtfully. “I’ve still yet to find Ayras… But it seems I might have to turn to Orikahn to find him. He is the best hunter I know, after all, so surely he can find him,” she reasoned. The Silver shook her head, “You aren’t a burden or a worry, Laezila, I know you’ll be safe with Kreekitaka… but he will come to Frostmaw to help me fight the giants there.”

Laezila blinked; she wasn't aware of this news. That Kreekitaka was going to go help fight the giants in Frostmaw with the Silver. First, however, the issue of Ayras was discussed with a simple, "Aye, and tell him to be careful. Something's very wrong with him, but he shouldn't get hurt. He... well, we -planned- to make it out of the city together. And it all sorta happened after he helped me." She felt immensely guilty over that, Ayras taking the heat for her crime. Which reminded her, "On the subject, I have a confession to make..."

Hildegarde nodded her head as Laezila reasoned Ayras should not be harmed. “I have no intention of harming him, but I believe he needs to be brought back to us safely; he’s at the edge and he needs to be brought back from that edge,” she explained thoughtfully, “and soon.” But now Laezila said she had a confession and the knight would have her out with it. “Oh?”

Laezila practically impaled her tongue on one of her fangs as that paling ebony mouth worked with uncertainty, trepidation shown in her hesitation before her confession, "Well..." A pause, a breath, and a worried squeeze of both of the dragon's hands, "You were dead and I. Well, I fed. In Frostmaw." Another breath, teetering on the chance such a verdict might be a punishment, or perhaps an anger in Hildegarde's eyes, which was sought by that of the dark elf's stare, before she squeaked quieter, "Thrice."

Hildegarde frowned as Laezila confessed to feeding in Frostmaw. “Who…?” she wanted to know who Laezila’s victims had been. “I need to know who and why.”

Laezila felt, in that moment, a rush of bitter shame and guilt; the emotion was made evident by the lowering of her eyes and slight inclination of her scarred face. "Giants. Things went... really bad after you left. They were getting really..." She paused, but her voice sounded hesitant, as if fearing not what the Silver might do to her, but what Frostmaw's Steward and her beloved friend might think of her as a result -the sound of wanting to lie and wriggle free, but telling the truth anyway because of who, exactly, she was speaking to. "Hateful. Two cornered me, and I told them to stop, but one grabbed me, and I scratched him. And he bled, I couldn't..." A sharp inhale, before: "The third was going to take me to the Fort, which I had left because... It wasn't safe. I got scared, and everything went black. Both times I awoke in blood, and I knew I had to go. I waited for Ayras, but it turned out he was already outside the city." But she needed to know who, "I don't know their names. They listened to a Giant called... Ball-gruff? One said I'd be a good gift for his son, but it was almost like he were talking about me like I was an animal, a goat or a hound." She shook her head once more, tossling white locks. "I broke law."

Hildegarde listened carefully to Laezila’s account of events, eventually shaking her head once Laezila had insisted she had broken the law. The Silver gave Laezila’s hands a gentle and reassuring squeeze, “No, you defended yourself. Those men would have done much worse to you if you had not Ended their lives. You are remorseful, when they barely deserve your remorse!” She was angry that someone dared to harm Laezila and make a gift of her, as if she were a beast. “You defended yourself. That is not against the law.”

Laezila knew the characteristics of neither Balgruuf nor his son, and thus did not know exactly how close she had come to suffering a fate that shared stark similarities with the nameless elf girl that was fated to die during one of the meetings between Frost Giant father and offspring. As it were, her imagination was left to run wild, however, and the depths of horrors that it spiraled down were not much better alternatives. Even still, she sadly shook her head at Hildegarde, and lifted her eyes toward the Silver's at the soft squeeze, mingling the Steward's with the crystalline blue ones that belonged to the dark elf, "But I am so tired, Hilde. Of death, of hurting people. I... met a man in Sage, where I had burned down part of the elven homestead. On the ashes and cinders of my crime, I..." So much guilt and shame, her shoulders practically drooped from their weight, and she whispered the next part of her tale, "I begged him to kill me."

Hildegarde had understood that feeling of guilt and shame. She too had once felt this way before. “You must repent, Laezila. You must find the conviction to go on and forge your own forgiveness. Do actions to cleanse away what you feel to be a sin. Helping other people, performing deeds of goodness and kindness… this will be of help. This will cleanse your mind and spirit.”

Laezila leaned forward brazenly, to touch her forehead against either the breastplate or the chest of the dragon in not a sign of seeking comfort or intimacy, though the act in and of itself was emotionally somewhat intimate; it was a sign moreso of fatigue and a world-weariness that had weathered her once-hopeful heart. "Oh, Hilde. I had sought to be good and kind in the beginning. I became a matron to end the slavery in Trist'Oth, to abolish the classist ideals and hereditary ruling. Did you see where that ended up? Everything I have done for good and kindness has resulted in a warped, twisted and terrible mockery. And now, my very existence, my survival itself, depends on hurting others." A pause, before she continued, "The man, Lionel was his name. He refused. Said a lot of stuff like what you said, except that he would find me redemption." Her head lifted, "How is that possible? Am I even worthy of redemption?" Another beat, and she pulled away to a more comfortable distance for Hildegarde, "I... am sorry. This is the worst time to unburden myself, especially when the fate of Frostmaw demands your attention."

Hildegarde did not reject the gesture, knowing that Laezila was prone to these gestures. “Everyone is worthy of redemption,” the knight said gently, “and there’s no use dwelling on the mistakes of the past. What happened, well, it happened. We can only go forward and hope to make the change in life that is best for everyone. We find or make our own redemption, Laezila.” As Laezila retreated a little bit and apologised, the knight shrugged her shoulder, “It’s all right. It never hurts to talk.”

Laezila could say that she wanted more from Hildegarde, and it would be a lie; the same would be true that such a saying would be selfish, irresponsible, and worst of all, cowardly. The little drow vampire had had her fair share of cowardly moments, there was no need to tack another one on to that list, but she could not help the squeeze of one of Hildegarde's hands, the other having fallen away to her side. "I really just came by to see you again. I'll be heading with Kreek soon, and... I don't think I'll be helping in the battle at Frostmaw. I..." She shook her head, before she continued, "I'll come home after its all over, but between the drow, the fighting, the death, and needing to learn how to control myself, I..." The hand dropped, finally, severing their physical contact, "I can't risk it. And I hope you'll forgive me, because, I would much rather be at your side. But the way I am now, I will just be a liability for you. Promise me something, though?"

Hildegarde shook her head as Laezila attempted to excuse her absence, “I do not expect you there at the battle, nor would I wish to endanger you so,” she said thoughtfully. “There’s nothing to forgive,” she reassured the former matron with a little smile. She wouldn’t want Laezila at the battle anyway, she wouldn’t want to risk her. “What would you have me promise?”

Laezila nodded slowly, her tongue meanwhile pressing into the tip of her fang, before she spoke, "Don't you die again for a long, long time, okay?"

Hildegarde smiled at that request, “I’ll certainly try not to.”

Laezila offered a smile in return, "Thanks. I will see you after it all, Hildegarde." And like that, she was moving away from the beloved Silver, toward the exit.