RP:Just Want To Feel Something Real

From HollowWiki

Summary: After a performance of Khitti's (while in disguise), Tiber and the redhead discuss Lanara and their feelings on the matter of her leaving Lithrydel, and Tiber discovers maybe... just maybe... he's not the only one that misses the witch as much as he does.

Song Used: Itch by Nothing But Thieves

The Whaler's Bar, Cenril

Khitti || For the moment, there was no redhead around. Well, not -the- redhead anyway. A crowd had gathered around the stage to watch a blonde elf woman sing as the bar’s band played along. Khitti had to forgo the last disguise she had, which had been a curly, dark-haired human, thanks to her emotions frakking everything up the last time she’d been at the Whaler’s. But, she loved to sing without all the flare that concerts brought with it, and had decided to begin anew with this new form. The song was a cover--and not even one of her own songs. Something by a band called Nothing But Rogues that really stuck with her. ♫There's a rumbling in my head, it's getting louder and louder. There's a shaking in my bones, it's getting stronger and stronger. There's a hunger in my heart, it's full of promise, promise. There's an itch under my skin. It's under my skin, under my skin. 'Cause I, I just wanna feel something real! 'Cause I, I just wanna feel something!♫ Khitti’s voice, however, wasn’t masked. It had been a long enough time since she’d been here that hopefully people would have forgotten. And it’s not like she was the only one around with a lyric mezzo-soprano vocal type. The crowd at the bottom of the stage sung along, swaying somewhat with the music.

Tiber was lounged in the back of the bar. One hand lingered behind his head, one hand held a glass of whisky. Tiberius had taken a liking to the music-train now, but the only places he would not play his own were Cenril and Rynvale, and when he did play his own he was also disguised like the woman on stage. Right now, however, was a night with the only goal to indulge himself in liquor. Tiberius had done good, okay? The man finally sobering up and not worrying about whether receiving the letters that were sent his way because they got lost through the mail system anyway. Though, as of late, a letter from a certain witch had been left at his door. For the first time in a while, the letter made his way. Easy to open. A chance to see her words and hear from her. This time, however, he would not open it. Instead, he would drink to the idea of a letter and the idea that the Kelvarian witch was most likely not going to ever show up again. While the disguised Khitti sings on stage, the lyrics strike a string inside his chest. It is annoying, really. ‘I just wanna feel something’. In all honesty, it was a good song—truly. Sober Tiberius would even admit to that, but right now, this was not a very nice guy. “Boo!” It is not super loud. Monotone, even, but loud enough for a bunch of eye daggers to strike their way towards the cynical man through the crowd. He holds up his hands in surrender at some of the crowd members. “I'm kidding. Calm down,” and then he tips the glass back and continues his internal sulk.

Khitti || ♫On the pavement I am looking, for a lover, a lover. And my eyes are rolling, she noticed, she noticed. There's a blood red on my shirt, and it's shining, shining. There's a sharp pain from my face, I kinda like it, I like it. 'Cause I, I just wanna feel something real! Just wanna feel something!♫ Khitti squinted somewhat, the stage lights nearly blinding as she tried to take stock of her audience. There seemed to be some sort of brief commotion in one area, as several people turned around to direct their attention there. Was it a bar fight? And Khitti was missing it? Ugh. Damn it. Maybe she’d chosen the wrong thing to do tonight. Then again, punching people always sounded like fun. ♫I just wanna love. I just wanna touch. I just wanna see. Something. I just wanna love. I just wanna touch. I just wanna see. 'Cause I, I just wanna feel something real! 'Cause I, I just wanna feel something real! Wanna feel something…♫ The music tapered off and ended once the last of the lyrics had been sung. The lights on the stage went out, there was cheering, and then the crowd dispersed for now, moving back to their seats as the normal lights in the bar flickered on. Khitti sighed and exited the stage after thanking the band, then headed for the bar to get a drink. A whiskey on the rocks was ordered and the still-disguised redhead was made to wait, allowing her to better take in the room. There was no bar fight, of course (unfortunately), but… she did see a certain grumpy Catalian. Okay, so they’re -all- grumpy. But. Still. Khitti paid for her drink and wandered off towards Tiber. “Can I buy you a drink?” The seemingly elvish woman offered Tiber a faint smile, but it started to look more and more like a smirk as she waited for an answer.

Tiber might have done a few snarky mimics with the song. “Dude, leave the bar if you don’t like it,” a dreaded elven brunette with edgy piercings says. “Well, who died and made you queen?” The Catalian asks rhetorically in his childish mannerism. The woman, in return, rolls her eyes before listening to the rest of the song. The man then, this time, actually shuts his pipe for the meantime with cinnamon whisky. The rest of the glass is drained before he slams it on the table-top as if he just accomplished a competition. As the disguised redhead approaches, the man looks up and he leans back again with arms behind his head. The tone of voice from the woman seemed familiar, but he could not really put his finger on it. “Oh, the blonde sentimental princess. I –really- don’t want to say I’m your biggest fan. Then again, you involved alcohol, so I might have to say so,” he smirks sleazily in reflection. “And it looks like you’re also a whisky fan. Maybe I shouldn’t negatively critique you.” Well, that was too late.

Khitti tilted her head somewhat as Tiber went on. The smirk faded, and she didn’t speak for the moment, soon waving a hand to signal for the waitress to come over as Khitti sat down across from the Catalian. “Get him a bottle of whatever he’s having and a bottle of my own,” Khitti said, indicating that the bartender should know what she’s got in her glass. The waitress took off and Khitti’s left to eye Tiber again, eventually saying at length, “Has anyone ever told you how punchable your face looks?” What was it with Catalians and Khitti wanting to punch them? Sheesh. The glamour Khitti was using faded away, leaving the very familiar redhead sitting there in front of him. The waitress returned, left the bottles on the table, blinked several times at Khitti, “You know you can just tell us you're performing here, right? We can get security in here for you.” Khitti shrugged. “It’s more fun this way.” The waitress just shook her head at the former templar before heading off to another table.

Tiber watches Khitti’s every move, so when she moves and her smile fades, his crooked smirk fades. This time, hands lower, one resting on the table while one elbow rests on the back of the chair-back. Amber eyes are steady. Tense. A wave is given briefly to the waitress. Why did this singer’s voice sound so familiar? Then… ‘has anyone ever told you how punchable your face looks?’ Teeth poke out in a small, annoying grin. The all-too-familiar redhead draped in glamour and blonde hair. “Why, I didn’t know you sang. Who hurt you?” Beat. “I think I like you better a redhead. It really spikes that feisty personality,” the man slips his hand in his button-up pocket for a rolled cigarette. He lights it, inhales, and then exhales. All the while watching the waitress and the disguised woman to talk. He makes sure the smoke blows away from them. “I didn’t know you had a thing for blondes.” Clearly he has already had a few before she came over to him, but it is really in the stench of him that gives it away. His pores were pouring out spiced alcohol. “After all, it looks like I’m getting under your skin and all,” he dabs out some ash on a center ash-tray. “Why exactly would you like to punch me today?” The man reaches for the bottle and pours the liquor in his glass. Something about trying to be ‘classier’ or something.

Khitti || “I literally have a band. Plays all over Lithrydel,” Khitti said, staring at him blankly. “I’m surprised you never heard about it from Lanara. Pretty sure she would’ve been the president of my fan club.” She ignored the ‘who hurt you’ question and merely rolled her eyes at it. With the disguise now gone, the whispering around them started up. Is that Khitti? Omigawd. Why is she here? Why would she ever come to a place like this? These people weren’t exactly subtle about it and Khitti could only gesture vaguely in the whispering’s direction. “You didn’t get under my skin, Tiber,” she said with a sigh. “And as for punching you? It’s not a you thing. I’m like that with all the Catalians I’ve met. Just the thought of punching you all in the face and possibly bruising up those nicely chiseled features you all have… Look. I -like- fighting people. I didn’t make my way up in the Warrior’s Guild by sitting around doing paperwork all day like a good little lady. And frankly, with the way you’ve been acting any time I see you or hear about you, it sounds like you’d benefit from getting your ass kicked. What -is- your problem?” Khitti finally tended to her drink, draining the short tumbler glass of its contents. The glass was replaced on the table and pushed to the side. No point in pretending. This woman liked to drink straight from the bottle.

Tiber blinked. The haze of liquor was clouding his mind. The way the woman stares at him blankly until she mentions Lanara brings the memories back. “Isn’t that tool-bag Nick dude in your band?” Shows that he had not been paying attention so much if that was the case. The Catalian was only paying attention to the lyrics. Eyes start looking around the bar. Insistently for that reason. Nick was not his favorite person. Nick had heart eyes for Lanara. The man runs his hand through his hair before taking another sip of his drink. He hears the whispering and he only smirks because how relatable the singing and the disguise thing was. He played the same game when it came to music. His alias was… Augustus. “I know how annoying it gets,” he says this time a little cooler towards the woman before him before eyeing all the people. Anyway, arms cross over his chest with raised eyebrows. “A warrior? Like… really? Have you considered therapy for your fighting problem?” It was light. Then again, he should join her in a class but only with the words portion. “Kidding,” his tone is flat. He inhales the cigarette again. The man then holds up his hands as if to keep her from punching him. His problem. His problem. “I’m surprised you and Meri haven’t had a little giddy gossip meeting. Considering Meri invited me back into the Adventurer’s Guild.” Pause. Eyes scan the room again before falling on the redhead before him. “My problem. My problem is that song of yours. And my problem is that everyone seems to try to tip-toe around me. Distract me. You wouldn’t normally go up and offer me a drink now would you? You know my problem, Khitti.” There was a little bit of venom in his tone. “I know she said goodbye to you too. And I know what you’re probably thinking, ‘get over yourself and move on’. But, do you still get letters from her, though? Does she still have you held by a thread? Tell me how to cut the thread, and I’ll stop being a whiney piece of—“ he cuts off as he hears a brief ‘Hey, Tibes’ from a man afar. Some man who is doing the whole bro nod and moving on. Tiber rolls his eyes. “Look, I’m not this guy. I was –never- this guy.” Why the hell is he being so honest to Khitti? What a brutally honest man. “I’m just looking for a way out. Any way out. And really, this is all I got.” There really was no point in pretending anymore. She wanted an answer, he would give it to her.

Khitti made a face at Tiber’s question of whether or not that Nick creep was in her band. “What? Hell no. Every single bandmember of mine is undead. And not that stupid.” There was a lot of eyerolling going on as Tiber went on his drunken tirade, both arms crossing over her chest. It was clear she wasn’t impressed with his sob story. “Fighting -is- my therapy. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure I’d be running around Lithrydel cutting off heads of anyone that so much as looks at me wrong. The fighting isn’t the problem. The rage and guilt are.” She shook her head and took a swig of whiskey, “You really think you’re the only one that misses Lanara? That loved her? I don’t talk about her because -I- don’t want to talk about her. It has nothing to do with you and your relationship with her. I don’t pity you because we’re in the same boat, albeit just a little differently.” Because he had been dating her and Lanara was Khitti’s best friend. Two different things, obviously. “It’s easy for me to “cut the thread” because people have a habit of coming into my life and leaving me not too long after.” It had started to feel like this was the case now with Quintessa, who had mostly been keeping to herself since the incidents with the Holy Trees. “I’m not going to tell you to move on. Because what if she does come back? You will have moved on entirely, but she might not have. And if she does happen to move on while she’s there? You two were friends first and then lovers. It is possible to rekindle things. But the fact of the matter is that you need to just accept the fact that things are different now. Not just for you--for everyone. Talyara does not have her sister. Meri and I do not have our best friend. I don’t have someone to go to that will listen to my problems with the gods or magic or anything else. At the very least, you know she’s not dead and you should take comfort in that.” Crimson brows had long since knitted together as she spoke and a deep frown made itself known. “We all lost something when she left. I’ve lost her twice now. I will tell you, however, to move on in the sense that she wouldn’t want you moping around like this. She didn’t leave you because she wanted to. She left you--and us--because she -had- to. There’s a difference between the two and I think that’s the point you’re missing here.”

Tiber felt at ease when the woman said Nick was not in her band. As for the commentary sob stories, Tiberius stared at Khitti for a long time when she said the word ‘loved’. He had never said it aloud, nor did he really know he felt that way. What the hell was love anyway? There was a flat line on his face. He swirls the contents in his glass and the rises the glass to his lips. Amber eyes eventually wander somewhere else while the blonde talks to him intently. It was a look of avoidance. Annoyance at the righteousness falling from her lips. Forget the glass, the bottle was needed. He pops off the top of the bottle and swigs that down too. A stare was also given with the mention on how Khitti cut the tie. Why could Tiberius not do the same? It was the same scenario. The look that he gives her is one that looks a little more delicate in the eyes, but that straight line is still on pale lips. When they had been friends, she had been with another man, but only because he pushed her away from the beginning and then there was a gap. He lost her twice as well in the different sense. He inhales the cigarette one last time before pressing it into the tray before him. “You’re obnoxious. Has anyone ever told you that?” It was not a bitter comment. In fact, there was a small array of lightness in his tone. It was one of… ‘you are right and I am an ass’. “I’m sorry you can’t talk stupid magical mystic crap anymore,” oh my Sven, Tiberius. Just say it nicely. At least it was not coated in sting, instead it was actually genuine in the tone. Another bottle swig and a small grunt. "I am glad she is not dead. She's very much alive. I, uh, have a letter at home I need to read." He clears his throat, “I’m, uh, glad you didn’t sugar coat it like the rest do. Thanks,” it was a distant one, but one that held sincerity even if he had a hard time showing it.

Khitti shifted her olive-colored line of sight elsewhere as Tiber spoke, “I’m well aware. My sister Lydia used to call me that all the time, amongst other things.” Despite his lighter tone, Khitti’s frown still remained, even moreso thanks to his mention of a letter waiting for him. “Then consider yourself lucky, Tiber. I don’t get letters from her. The letters I get tell me to go kill this and kill that. Or ‘I need you to do research because no one else has the time or knows how to’. Or ‘this person wants to be brought into the guild even though after that they’ll never acknowledge you again’. The list goes on. Letters like what I’m assuming she’s written to you, however… I don’t get those.” Khitti knew Lanara was busy, but that didn’t mean the silence didn’t hurt. “It’s hard for me to sugarcoat anything anymore. Fate is unkind and I’ve accepted that and others need to do it too. Feel your emotions however you wish. This year I have felt my anger and sadness and guilt and anything else of the sort that you can think of more keenly than ever. You are not the only one that seeks the comfort of a bottle of whiskey most nights. But I haven’t forgotten about logic and reason either--and neither should you.”

Tiber ’s lighter look fades again at her frowned one. “You think she really has time to write everyone letters? Sven, you know how long I waited for that letter, Khitti? And I’m getting it now. After months and months of waiting for the next one.” His tone is soft, and does not rise. “I’m sorry that your world calls for demand. You’re obviously important to people, but I’m sorry you feel that way. Used. Someone should appreciate you more,” he knew how that felt, but then again, who was he to go against her anymore. This was not a battle. This was the now. Time was moving forward, and because of the blonde before him, he was beginning to realize that. “You and me both,” he agrees to her logic. The man then inhales through his nose to hold back the bitterness. “You know… the logic and reason. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to find it. Days I’m able to grasp onto it while other days it just slips. I’m frakkin’ human,” not really. “Tell you what,” he begins as he sits up a little more in his seat. “I say, hell, we don’t even need to talk anymore. I know I’m not your biggest fan, and you are not mine. I say, we just sit in each other’s silence with whisky. No deep talk. No annoying each other. Let’s just… drink. For tonight. And when one or the other is done, we just get up, nod off and leave. Just to sit in a presence. Enjoy a drink, but not feel like someone is needing the other for reassurance. No more pity. Just being, and knowing someone is also trying to stay afloat.” It was a shot in the dark, really for Tiberius. He was not really one to ask for company, but Khitti was here, and they seemed to be both sinking in their own silent ways. “Or you can always just take a cheap shot for my face and be on your way since that’s your therapy and all. Just giving you options."

Khitti just sat there and listened, occasionally taking a drink. She didn’t really hate Tiberius, no matter what he seemed to think. Something felt… familiar about this talk. Like she’d had some sort of heart to heart, mixed with a bit of snark, with another Catalian before. And she had… but she couldn’t remember it at all. Talks like these had been had with Brand and often. But the memory of it all evaded her. It was like it was forever dancing in the corner of her eyes and anytime she turned to look at it, it was gone. She chalked it up to something she’d probably talked to Lionel about at some point. “The silence is fine,” Khitti said at length. She was good with silence and not so much with people, much the same as the wolf across the table from her. She was good with silence, until she wasn’t. And when she wasn’t finally, then she’d head home.

Tiber :: When Khitti finally said ‘silence is fine’, shoulders melted back down into his seat. There was a comfort by that statement, and eyes lingered on her olive stare briefly before picking up the bottle and throwing it back. Perhaps it was just a stubborn bump against each other. A smack in the face with one another. He was honest when he said he did not like the sugar-coat. The disguised singer had been one breath of fresh air. It was like he could breathe when the silence endured them both. When it came time for her to rise from the quiet, besides the bustling of tavern, only eyes would peer up from the bottle. It would lower, and that nod would be given as told before. Once she left out the door, then would be his own cue. It was also time to head home to remain in such silence, for the noise kept crowding in once her presence was gone, for Tiberius did not hate Khitti either.