RP:I Was Lost Without You

From HollowWiki

Summary: The status of Khitti and Brand's child is determined by the ship's healer, Lennier, and most of Khitti's worries are snuffed out.

The Tranquility, Cenril Harbor

Lennier welcomed the Tranquility’s most prominent couple into the healer’s ward with a deep bow. It was emptier than usual this morning, all the usual malingerers cleared out and no one resting on the cots but a fellow recuperating from a broken arm. He was sleeping now, his breath rising and falling in an even cadence. Brand nodded at the healer and stepped uncertainly into the room, but Khitti was stopped with a small vial before she could progress beyond the doorway. “You’ll want to drink it quick, ma’am, so the taste doesn’t linger on your tongue. The potion will help us get a better look at your child. You’ve done as I asked, and not consumed anything since sundown?”

Khitti was thankful that there was no one there besides the crew member with the broken arm, but that gratefulness soon dissipated when the vial was shoved at her. As she eyed it warily, a rather loud gurgling of her stomach was Lennier’s answer--she was absolutely starving. “Unfortunately,” was said finally, jokingly, as she took the potion and downed it quickly as instructed. Much like a child taking their medicine, Khitti made a face and nearly choked on it. “What is even in -that-? It’s horrid.” It was more rhetorical than anything, and she said no more as she passed through the doorway. That expression she made in disdain would soon surface again, however, as the quick drinking caused her to burp and taste the disgusting mixture again, “Ugh.” Olive-green eyes passed over the room briefly, trying to seek out the best cot to lay down on. Secretly, she wished that they would’ve been able to do this in her and Brand’s quarters, but that would mean lugging all of Lennier’s supplies through the ship--it wasn’t exactly ideal. No cot looked any better than the other, so she picked the closest one and sat down on it.

Brand pulled up a stool to sit at Khitti’s side, silent and frowning. He looked like a frightened rabbit, one who might bolt at the slightest sudden noise. Lennier dared to mimic him as he circled behind, looking at Khitti with eyes wide and the faintest smirk on his face. “Trust me, you’d rather not know. But it’s safe for you and for the child, and it does what it needs to do -quite- effectively. I’ve been perfecting this method for some time.” Another few vials and various supplies were fetched from the counter and placed onto a small rolling table, and soon the elf returned with this and his own stool. “Now. Lift your shirt to your chest. I shall apply the outer salve, and then we can get started.”

Khitti side-eyed Brand, her own frown forming to accompany red furrowed brows. She reached her hand out slowly, wanting to take his, but didn’t want to spook him--he was still entirely like a booplesnoot. Khitti laid back down onto the cot with her head nearest to Brand, and pulled up her shirt with her free hand. As he put the salve on, she squirmed a little, that frown of her still present. “Ahh, it’s cold,” she wrinkled her nose at it. Or maybe she was too warm? Was she getting sick?! Please, Khitti, do not go down that hypochondriac rabbit hole.

Brand was out of his element here. Khitti reaching out was some sort of direction, at least, and so he took her hand and was grateful for it. (Phew! I’m not entirely useless here!) And Lennier, meanwhile, finished up and pulled a silk sheet from off the table, unfolded it, and slid it through a curtain lining fitted into the ceiling. A second rail in the floor pulled it taut. That finished, he held a metal orb in both hands and pressed it into Khitti’s lower abdomen, where he had spread the cold goo. “I can use this method to see inside of you,” he explained, slowly moving the orb around. “Very useful for diagnosing quite a few illnesses and injuries -- though this will be the first time I’ve used it for an unborn baby.” Strange shapes took life on the taut sheet, an unintelligible shadow puppet play. Lennier frowned in concentration. “It’s rather small at this stage, so it might take a few moments to find it…”

As Lennier continued his work, setting things up, Khitti’s worry grew regarding the child. It showed in the nervous biting of her lower lip and the shaking of her hand, though she squeezed Brand’s harder in an attempt to mask it. The Tranquility’s healer would search around Khitti’s womb with his strange magic and tools until a tiny blueberry-sized object would come into focus. When it did finally, a sound joined it: a steady heartbeat, though more rapid than an adult’s. It was healthy, though, for something so tiny and there seemed to be nothing wrong with the not-quite-formed-child in general. Khitti, as prone as she was to emotional flares right now, did her best not to start crying when the heartbeat surfaced. “It’s okay?”, she said through a sniffle or two. Okay, she cried a little. How could she not, though? Despite the fact that it’d almost been two months, she was still unsure that this was even happening. It was, and this just proved it, and helped to bring Khitti’s mind a little more into focus with things.

Khitti was squeezing Brand’s hand so hard, he could feel her pulse through it. So when the pulse sounded through the illusionary projection Lennier had put in place… “What the frak.” Brand stood, still clutching Khitti’s hand, squeezing all the harder, readjusting his grip to feel her pulse at her wrist. The two didn’t match. “It has its own gorram heartbeat? Already?!” He stared at the projection, the little blueberry-sized spot relative to the rest of Khitti’s insides. “What the actual frak.” No tears, no mush. But he, too, had trouble believing all of this was really happening. It wasn’t so long, after all, that Khitti hadn’t even had a pulse of her own.

Khitti blinked a few times at Brand and his reaction, ever so carefully prying her appendage from that titan’s grip of his. His reaction was… entirely odd and she didn’t know what to make of it just yet. He very much looked in disbelief, and while she can relate, she wondered if he was at the other end of the ‘we’re all very happy about this kid’ spectrum--which is to say, he would not be very happy at all. “It’s… not exactly nine months. A little less than that really, I guess… so it’s got to grow quickly. This is why we had to decide so soon on whether or not we were… well… keeping it.” Khitti frowned somewhat. Just because it had a heartbeat now though didn’t really mean much. “Is this okay?” She didn’t mean the kid this time--it was clear it was okay or Lennier would’ve said something. No, this time she meant Brand and this whole being a father thing. His priorities had shifted so quickly before… what’s to say that it wouldn’t shift back now that it was obvious that this was really happening?

Brand was uncomprehending, turning back to Khitti with furrowed brows. “It looks okay.” He turned to Lennier, who nodded confirmation. “There isn’t much to do at this stage,” Lennier admitted. “But everything looks healthy. My initial estimates of its date of conception would appear to be on track. Keep to the diet I’ve recommended and let me know if you experience anything unexpected, otherwise we’ll check on it again in another month or so.” Brand, slow on the uptake, only now realized what else Khitti might have meant. He gave her another reassuring squeeze. “Everything’s okay.” Everything, aside from the way his heart had leapt up into his throat and attempted to suffocate him.

It was Khitti’s turn to look like a frightened booplesnoot now as the two males exchanged words and her first question had been answered. Not much longer did the second answer greet her and she could finally breathe again, the former vampire not having even realized she’d been somewhat holding her breath until Brand’s reassurances came. “Okay,” Khitti echoed that last word and then she sat up, grabbing a bit of cloth off of Lennier’s tray in order to wipe gross goop off of her stomach before she pulled down her shirt. Right on cue, her stomach growled loudly again, a reminder to all that she’d not eaten in several hours. “I guess I should go deal with this before my stomach and this kid devour me from the inside out.” Standing up, she released Brand’s hand and took a step or two away, then turned and smiled at Lennier, doing her best to cover up whatever anxiety decided to linger in the back of her mind, “Thank you, Lennier. I’ll let you know if anything feels off--moreso than it should anyway.”

Lennier bowed deeply. “Never thought I’d have the pleasure, ma’am. I’ve been unable to find anything in the records about a vampire regaining mortality and bearing children. Nothing of consequence, anyway. Rumors and myths, all unsubstantiated. So your case is somewhat of a healer’s curiosity.” From the look on his face, he was remembering their prior conversations about the mindflayers -- and hoping their previous rapport gave him room to speak honestly, if awkwardly. He bowed again. “Begging your pardon. What I am trying to say… is that it is an honor. And it appears you and the child are in very good health. A blessing from the gods, as you say.” The elf withdrew to his work, the hood of his robe cast over him in an attempt to conceal the blush from his cheeks. Brand blinked from him to Khitti, looking to her reaction for guidance on whether to respond or not.

Khitti’s own cheeks gained a bit of color as Lennier gave her praise and thanks like she was some sort of higher being or noble or some such. “Y-you’re… um. You’re welcome, Lennier.” She smiled again, albeitly awkwardly, before he could fully return to his work. Green eyes were wide in shock as she left the room and moved a few paces from the room so the elf hopefully couldn’t hear Khitti speak, “He thinks I’m some sort of miracle? I… guess I forgot how little the whole coming back from the dead thing really happens.” Khitti blinked once, then twice, “ ‘A blessing from the gods’. It’s one thing to think it, but it’s another entirely to hear it from someone else. Someone else that might not entirely be as skeptical as us--or were. Whatever.” Those red brows furrowed again, “A while ago, when Pilar found me here on the ship, she suggested giving offerings to the gods.” She paused and eyed Brand carefully, “Do you… think I should?” A beat. “What do you even give the gods as tribute? They can’t all possibly like the same thing.” This was likely something she’d not gotten to in her research yet, or perhaps in her haste to learn more, she’d accidentally passed over it entirely.

“Mm.” Brand was distant, his mind on his own thoughts. Only slowly did he come back to her, as she waited in silence for a response. “You’re askin’ me? You realize you’d be as well off askin’ Onyx how to let loose n’ have some fun, right? I have no idea. Do it if you wanna, I guess. I dunno if it makes a difference. Y’think they’re even paying much attention?”

Khitti studied him as she waited. He posed his own question and she just shrugged. “They were paying enough attention to allow the spell to work, didn’t they? I’m here, now, with you. I think that might show that someone is--someone other than Vakmathras who only threw his name in the hat because he’d get something out of it. Arkhen’s whole thing is forgiveness… and I did a lot of bad things, whether it was willingly or not. I feel like maybe I should thank him for forgiving me… and bringing me back to you. Maybe if I do, the others will listen to. Maybe they’ll help us out of this deal with Vakmathras.” Brand’s doubt in the gods weighed her thoughts down a little, but she did her best to hold onto her own faith. After a moment or so of consideration, she shook her head a little and peered up at him again, “What are -you- thinking about?”


Brand only summoned a smile for her. He wrapped his arm around Khitti’s shoulders, gently guiding them both to the kitchens. “You offer somethin’ to them if you want. I s’pose it can’t hurt, given what we’re up against. Imagine if we could fight off one god’s will with another god -- that’d be a hell of a thing to see.” When they arrived to the kitchen, Brand busily set about preparing a breakfast for them both. Khitti was hardly incapable, but he had a particular craving in mind: eggs and bacon and pancakes on the side.

Khitti narrowed her eyes at Brand as he set to work making breakfast. “You’re avoiding the question. You forget that I know what it looks like when you’re thinking things. Lucky for you, I can’t just bite you on the neck and get that bloodlink going anymore.” She smirked and put the kettle onto boil, opting to let it go the old fashioned way instead of using magic this time. “What are you thinking about? The gods? The kid? Something’s going on in that head of yours and it’s not just thoughts of fast, fancy ships and me naked serving you whiskey. Things aren’t just about me, or about you--it’s about us. Together. That means we share the things we’re thinking about to each other.” She was picking on him more than she was nagging him, the ever-growing smirk proved as much.

Silence grew between them for a few moments before she finally added, “I want you to come with me later. I’ll make some things as offering--food is pretty general for all of them I think, until I find out specifics--and we’ll go to Arkhen, Cyris, and Loda’s temples. Shouldn’t take too long; not on the Tikifhlee anyway.”

Brand continued cooking, half pretending not to hear her. Whatever it was he had in mind, it wasn’t something he was going to divulge so easily. At length, he placed a plate before her, and shortly thereafter settled down to eat with his own. “As milady bids,” he said, smirking back. “Lennier is really very formal with you. You’d think you were pregnant with a miniature god of your own, or something. I mean, he’s formal with everyone, but… I dunno. Seems even moreso with you.”

Khitti glowered at the Catalian and rolled her eyes. “Why the hell do I tell you anything ever?” In a huff, she tore into a strip of bacon, choosing to stare at her food instead of him, “Lennier’s one of the only ones that’s ever shown me an ounce of frakking respect from the beginning. Only other person to do that was Domi--” She paused, and frowned, then shoved more bacon, and soon some eggs into her face. “Look,” Khitti finally said after everything was chewed and swallowed, “stay here then. I don’t give a damn. You want to keep denying things, then you go right ahead. You weren’t the one that came back from the dead; you don’t have dues to pay. At least, not in the way I do. This whole curse could’ve been avoided if you’d told me from the beginning.” She pointed at him with her fork accusingly. “I know you were protecting me, but since you don’t want to believe in a damned thing, I’ve got to have enough faith for the both of us and hope it frakking works and we get help.”

Brand looked hurt. “It’s not like I didn’t take precautions. I’m not sure what tellin’ you would’ve accomplished -- and I wasn’t gonna put that weight on you, not when I had no way of knowin’ if you’d ever be the same again.” He sighed and stabbed into a pancake. “Obviously if I could do it all again, there are some things I’d do differently. Hell, if I could go back I’d spare us both the pain and get you your cure without lettin’ you die at all. But I can’t very well -do- that, can I? We’re at where we’re at. No changin’ it now.”

Khitti felt bad now for yelling at him. He’d done what he thought was right and she knew that. She scooted her chair a little closer to his and muttered a faint apology. “It wasn’t your fault I died. Besides, I liked being able to have all those ‘firsts’ again with you. Might not have gone the way either of us wanted, but it was still something different from the way things went before. You were definitely something in that outfit of yours on our date…” Color rose in her cheeks again as she thought about the things she’d wanted to do that night with him and didn’t get to. Wait, why is she getting embarrassed about this? Those ‘things’ happened nearly every day now. This inner scolding only made her blush more. Trying to hide it, she shoveled more food into her mouth.

Brand may have noticed that blushing, but he was at least generous enough not to point it out. Another time, maybe, when he wasn’t trying to hide his own reddened cheeks. He turned his face away from her, fiddling with a trouser pocket that was situated out of her sight. It was a minute or two before his powers of speech returned to him. “I had to make the best of it,” he admitted. “Losin’ you was too much. Findin’ you without your memories… worse, in some ways.” His gaze flit over and past her. “But at least I got to… y’know… make some things right that I frakked up the first time.”

Khitti shook her head at him, her line of sight fixing on him briefly as she sat her fork down and leaned back in her chair, “No. You didn’t frak up anything. You didn’t want this and I don’t blame you for pushing me away for so long. I haven’t felt right about it since you told me about Viera. I don’t think I could apologize enough for bugging you like I did… You had your reasons, and I knew it, and I still didn’t leave well enough alone.” Her attention shifted down to her stomach as if she could see their child within, “Even now, I still can’t help but be skeptical that you’re okay with this. With us. I wish we had that bloodlink still… I’m sure it’d help get rid of these stupid worries. The fact that you stayed though, it really means something to me.” Khitti reached for her cup of tea and realized she’d forgotten all about the water, and making the tea all together. With a sigh, she slid out of her chair, giving him a kiss on the cheek along the way, and headed towards the stove and the kettle that’d long since been set aside to cool, likely while Brand had been making food. It’s reheated, this time with her magic, and some peppermint tea leaves set to steeping in a cup of hot water.

“No, I s’pose there’s no goin’ back to the bloodlink days. It would defeat the point of everything we’ve gone through, anyway.” He was staring at her backside, trying to arrange the right words in the right order -- something that only ever seemed difficult to him when it was Khitti he was talking to. His tongue got too large for his mouth and twisted itself into knots. “I might… have another way in mind, though. Another kind of proof, I guess? I’ve been carryin’ it around since you got back, just been waitin’ for the moment to feel right. But -- y’know, frak it, I’m no good at this. Just -- here.” When she turned around, she’d discover him kneeling with hands outstretched, a familiar box lying open and nestled between them. Inside sparkled the ring she’d left for him when she’d died. “You told me to give this to someone I wanted to stay with…”

Khitti sipped her tea, then set it on the counter as she shook her head at Brand and turned to face him. “What are you even talking about? Another kind of pr--?” Her mouth hung open mid-question, olive-green eyes finding first him, down on one knee, and then that ring. It took her a few moments to close her mouth finally and process what the hell he actually just said. He… kept the ring? He actually -did- want to be with her? This wasn’t all some frakked up dream? Wait, he didn’t even actually say the words ‘will you marry me’. This brought a smirk to Khitti’s lips; it was all very much in typical Brand fashion, this proposal, but it was entirely adorable (don’t tell Brand that). “There’s no going back, you know. Well, -technically- there is, but…” Okay, don’t mention divorce right now. It’ll give him ideas. She tapped at her chin, pretending to think about it -reaaaaally- hard. “Of course I frakking will,” Khitti said at length with a grin, her hand held out for him to take, both as help to stand up and so that he could put the ring on it. She left off the ‘you frakking idiot’, but it was definitely implied in that grin of hers. He should’ve known the answer to this all along.

Brand was having trouble holding his own composure as Khitti babbled on. It was torture, this, to pop the question (even if he hadn’t technically -asked-) and kneel here waiting for an answer. But soon enough the answer came, and Brand fumbled with the ring until he managed to slide it onto the appropriate finger. “I dunno if we’ll have time to do somethin’ for a wedding before the kid comes, but we’ve waited this long, so… one way or another, things’ll sort themselves out. I’ll need your help knowin’ what to do, obviously. I’m not very well-versed on the customs, so unless Hudson’s wedding was typical -- which I doubt -- I don’t really have a whole lot to go off of.”

Khitti looked down at the ring on her finger and then at Brand again. It was her turn for silent introspection now as he went on about customs and Hudson and Alvina's wedding. She was still caught in the moment and couldn't believe it. Was this really real? Or was she still stuck in the darkness, dead and dreaming of things that could’ve been if she hadn’t frakked up royally? A hand left her side and found his cheek, lightly rubbing against the stubble that was practically permanently there. Brand was definitely here and this was actually happening and she was entirely sure she'd never been this happy in her life. That amount of joy had always been fleeting, even with Brand, but now it felt like it was never going to end. “You and I, we don't need customs. We can do everything our own way, just as we've always done. That wedding certainly was… uh… interesting, but it doesn't fit us. Hudson is a damned celebrity, and while I'm sure that's great and wonderful, it just doesn't feel like it'd work for our own wedding. I think something small and with far less people would do just fine.”

“Right. Yes. Small. Small is good.” Brand had nothing else to say except the thousand new worries that cropped up to replace the old. He silenced them all by wrapping Khitti into a tight hug, swooping her back, and kissing her.