RP:I'll Be Okay, Just Not Today

Part of the The Day I Tried To Live Arc

Summary: Hours after Khitti's death, Meri returns home to continue her grieving and Cal aims to help comfort her.

The Rochester-Boyce Residence, Larket

After departing from the bridge in Cenril, Meri would not have immediately made her way back to Larket. Her feet would begin to take her in that general direction, step after step in a listless and mindless sort of walk, her surroundings a blur due to her lack of attention. She was tired and hurt, but none of that really mattered to her. At some point she would just stop, sit beneath a tree and well. I mean her friend just died? There would be crying, bawling, and many sniffling. After a considerable amount of time, she would finally find her feet and press on home. When she finally made it home, she was worse for the wear -- if only because she never actually stopped to even take a moment to assess her own state. Her mind was too caught up in replaying the events, ripping the details apart and analyzing what they could have done different. It'd be a really odd early morning hour when Meri arrived back in Larket and reached home, the sun was just barely starting to come up. The front door would open and Meri would step inside and without even a glance around the room, she would move straight for the stairs to begin a slow trudge up to the third floor. Through their bedroom she would go, maybe Cal was asleep still, Meri was not paying attention. She was sulking her way straight into their bathroom, where she'd turn on the water and then sit in the tub, clothes on because she was sad, duh, and it all just seemed like too much effort right now.

If there was ever one person in the world that Callum actually worried about, it was that blonde that just walked into their house. With all that had been going on with Khitti, Brand, and Lionel lately, he knew it was probably not going to end well. Was he worried for those people? Maybe a little. It was a bad thing to mess with the gods and that’s just what Khitti had been doing from the sounds of it. But, more importantly, his girlfriend had gotten sucked into the mess (okay, so really, she got sucked into it AWHILE ago, before Cal even knew her, but shh) and she was out there waiting for or dealing with only Selene knew what. He somehow managed to busy himself in the private studio he had set up for Meri, in an attempt to calm his thoughts. Drawing itself was entirely difficult for the male, but he’d discovered a watercolor palette, summoned up a bit of his water magic, and decided to play around a bit. He’d just been putting the finishing touches on a bit of rainbow-y abstract art when the door open, but did not close, and Meri was heard moving up the stairs. “Meri?” She either didn’t hear him or gave no response and it prompted a concerned frown. Abandoning the art supplies, he’d follow her up the stairs ever so carefully, so as not to spook her, and would find her in the tub. All of her physical injuries were eyed, his concern growing, but he’d not say anything just yet. Instead, he peeled off his socks, rolled up his sleeves, and sunk down into the bathtub behind her. There was a moment of hesitation, because he didn’t want to hurt her further--though from the looks of it, her emotional wounds were a bit more than the ones on her body--but, ultimately, he’d wrapped his arms around her and hold her in silence. In the short time they’d known each other, he’d never once seen her like this and it was certainly heartbreaking.

As many people as Meri seems to know, there were few of them that she -really- considered to be a friend. The why behind that was no mystery to Cal, it was their shared love of secrets. As for the people that she really did care about? Losing them would be something that Meri would take hard, especially when she had first hand-involvement. Sure, she was not the one who killed Khitti, but she wasn't the only one on that bridge that felt like they had failed her. All of them did. It's when Callum slides into the tub behind her that the woman actually registers his presence, despite him speaking to her and trying to get her attention earlier. He is not greeted with a smile, but the woman also is not fussing and fighting with him either. To some extent she probably appreciates his sitting in there with her, clothes on and everything, for she scoots over enough to make room and even leans against him when his arms wrap around her. He's still met with silence though, she just wants to sit there. She probably would have tried to clean herself up a bit sooner but hugs from Cal were a good thing right now. But uh, sorry Cal, a little water is not the worst thing getting all over clothes of yours right now. It would continue like this for awhile until Meri takes in a deep breath and releases it slowly, finally speaking as she releases this breath. Two words, they're not very loud either so hopefully Cal is listening closely because Meri is not going to want to repeat this, "She died."

Blood and dirt and water was the least of Cal’s worries right now. Turns out that storm mages double pretty well as laundry attendants and can get tough stains out of fabric like Tide. It’s pretty damned handy. He didn’t stop hugging her just yet, and even hugged her a bit more tightly as she spoke those two words: she died. ‘She’. Well, there was only one ‘she’, wasn’t there? It was that ridiculous redhead that let him go to the Shadow Plane to keep an eye on Meri. The very same that somehow managed to soften nearly all of Brand’s hardened edges and perhaps, inadvertently, made it so Callum might actually be able to present himself to his kinsmen and maybe not get charbroiled. There was silence from the black-haired Catalian, besides a rather deep, worried sigh--worry for Meri, worry for Brand and Lionel, worry for anyone else whom might’ve had Khitti worm her way into their hearts. Callum released Meri finally, pulled her hair to the right and over the shoulder, kissed her cheek, then moved around her ever so carefully to sit in front of her. The mage didn’t even bother with a washcloth as he picked up Meri’s left arm gingerly, summoned up a small bubble of water, and began to carefully scrub away the dirt and gore leftover from the fight. There was nothing he could do about Khitt, unfortunately, but he could take care of his woman and make sure her wounds wouldn’t get infected.

Meri didn't want Cal to move and she almost clung to him in protest. He was not moving far though, and did have the right idea. Meri needed to get herself cleaned up rather than trying to cling to him like he might disappear if she blinks. There is some slight resistance but she cooperates in the end and Cal is able to pull away enough to help her get cleaned up. Were Meri in a better emotional state she might smile for his efforts but everything was just a bit to raw. He's just going to have to rest assured that deep down she appreciates this. No more words come outside of the two that have been spoken, and it is not because Meri is not kicking thoughts around in that skull of hers. Voicing them might bring her to tears though. Cal trying to get Meri cleaned up finally inspires her to do the same. She starts unlacing her boots and tosses them lazily over the side of the tub. Socks are next. That's about where she leaves it for her gaze transfers back to Cal. "Can I have a couple of minutes?" To finish getting cleaned up. "Can you grab a bottle and bring it up here for us?" She makes this vague motion to their bed, for once Meri does get cleaned up she wants to drink herself to sleep...and wants Cal next to her. She's never been an unaffectionate girlfriend, but she is definitely feeling especially clingy right now. Hold me, Cal.

Cal would take care of Meri until the time came for her to want to do it on her own. He’d frown about it though--maybe he wants to continue taking care of you, dang it!--but, he ultimately acquiesced. The storm mage nodded, “Alright”, kissed her cheek, and got out of the tub. Into the other room he’d go to change his own clothes into something that wasn’t sopping wet and suitable for bed before heading downstairs to grab some glasses, a bottle of whiskey, some water, and a bit of food because he’s hungry and Meri should probably eat -something- before she drinks herself to sleep. It’s all brought up on a large enough tray and set on his bedside table, and then he’s crawling into bed where she’d presumably be or would be heading very soon.

Cal was of course still technically taking care of Meri, he was correct in guessing that she was probably about as hungry as he was. Cal would change out of his soppying clothes and leave to get food and drink while Meri would finally find her way out of her own gore-covered clothing. He would not be left waiting by his lonesome for long, Meri remained in the bathroom just long enough to wash herself up and change into a clean set of clothing. It's kept minimal for now, as now that she was cleaned she could probably stand a bit of bandaging. Clean and clothed, Meri makes her way from the bathroom to their bed with bandages in hand. She takes a seat on the edge, near Cal and within reach of the whiskey but she did not fully climb into bed yet. She would after she'd wrapped up the couple of injuries she did sustain, so she did not make a mess of their bedsheets. But before any of that began, she needed to have, one, two, three gulps of that whiskey. Meri frowns to herself as she fusses with the bandaging, one set wrapped around her calf, another would be for her right arm. Finally Meri finds some words, "She knew about you, you know. That you were Catalian. She was keeping your secret too, not that she ever really got why. I always meant to get around to talking to you about it, I felt horrible lying to her. Saying that you were not really...Always meant to try and sit you down and talk to you about it. About how I didn't want to keep that secret from her, because it would be nice to...you know, talk to one of my chick friends about you sometimes. Of course I would have to go deciding that I liked Brand's woman enough to want to go out and do things like have lunch and girl talk." In addition to other ridiculous things like running of to the Shadow Planes, stealing leviathan teeth. Wtf. "Shouldn't have put it off. I wanted to apologize for lying to her, even though she..I mean she seemed to at least not be mad at me for lying..." No more lady-luncheons for Meri, at least not with Khitti, and no apologies either.

As Meri returned to the bedroom, he’d pour her and himself a glass of whiskey, handing it to the blonde before she took those three big gulps. He’d pick at the plate as she tended to her wounds, munching on a bit of cheese and meat--things that kept well enough in the ice box that he could snack on throughout the day while she was gone. He hadn’t really had the ambition to make a full meal of anything--or do much of anything else, really--not while Meri was out there fighting with the unknown. “I know she knew. I could tell with the way she acted towards me those few times her and I ran into one another in Rynvale. She talked to me like I was one of them, like the fact that I’d helped keep Brand enslaved meant nothing.” Callum sighed heavily, shoving the plate towards Meri. It was more important for her to eat than him right now; she needed to keep her strength up, especially with the amount of whiskey she was likely to ingest. “So, we’ll do our best to make up for it. It’s my fault in the first frakking place. Part of me wishes I’d’ve never told you at all, not after I found out about you and her and them. I don’t exactly like the fact that you’re betraying your friends because of me, but it is what it is because I’m not frakking man enough to go talk to them like I should’ve months ago.” The Catalian paused and drained his glass. It wasn’t often he did this; it wasn’t so much his favorite drink as it was Meri and Brand and Eleanor and half of Lithrydel’s. The thought of talking to Brand and Lionel, despite the changes that both men--hell, all three of them--have gone through since that day the Sunderia burned and sank, stressed Cal the hell out. Even now his glass-holding hand shook a little as he addressed the situation. “So, we go to them. When the time is right--when you think the time is right--and we talk to them. We try to make things right. For better or for worse.” It was entirely possible that this would not go well at all, but he was damned sure not going to let this sit on Meri’s conscience any longer than it needed to.

Meri would at first be accepting of the plate that is shoved her direction, sitting her whiskey aside so that she can nibble a bit, a piece of cheese, a little meat. That was about as far as Meri got until Cal distracted her with his response. Normally Meri wasn't the overly emotional sort but this was one of those special circumstances and Cal words have the woman a little teary-eyed now. The plate of food is also set aside so that she could turn to face Cal, taking him by both his hands. "I don't want you to ever feel regret for telling me anything about yourself." Meri probably would not have broached this subject for a while but Khitti's death had Meri in a why-wait-tell-all sort of mood (with those that she actually cared about at least). "Cal. Babe. I know you are probably never going to agree with me, but I am pretty damn convinced you are the best thing that has happened to me...maybe ever. I am absolutely in love with you and I still want to know everything about you. All of the secrets. Please keep telling me everything." Brand and Lionel were fine in Meri's book, she liked their company, but she didn't feel guilt if she had to lie to them? At least about Cal. "I don't want to force you into doing anything that you do not want to do, like ever. You would never do that to me. If we do it? It should be your decision, not mine. I just want to be there with you." Obviously in case it is for worse, the hands that she still hopefully has hold of are given a protective squeeze. "I don't want to talk to them in the same way I wanted to talk to Khitti, she was like a sister. And a sister that I actually -liked-." Because not all sisters always get along, you know. "I'm always going to pick you over anyone else...We don't have to talk ever, not if you don't want to." Yeah, apparently Meri's just going to get all sappy rather than feeding herself.

Callum finished pouring himself another glass and set down the bottle, Meri taking up his hand moments later. She offered her two cents on the matter, squeezed his hand affectionately, comfortingly, and he could only stare. Love? She… loved him? She said that word. -THE- word. The big word that all couples get around to saying eventually. Was it too soon? No. That wasn’t the feeling in his stomach like a horde of butterflies trying to get out, that wasn’t the angry bees buzzing around in his head, telling him to say what’s on his mind. Anything else that Meri said after the word ‘love’ was like static, though Callum saw her lips moving. When it was clear that she stopped, he didn’t say anything else besides: “I love you too.” It was entirely sincere and the look on his face showed that he meant it. Everything else managed to process soon after he got that off his chest, a squeeze of his own returned to her hand. “It’s something we -need- to do. Something we should’ve done awhile ago, so you wouldn’t have all this guilt weighing on you. Doesn’t really matter if it gives me the willies thinking about it, but time might’ve passed enough in between now and then for things to not go so badly.” He hoped anyway. “I actually, uh… I’ve actually been making a sort of gift for the both of them too, if they want it.”

In the back of Meri's mind, she was trying to ignore that nagging feeling that maybe she should not have dropped the Big L word. This is an incorrect assumption based on the way that Callum is staring at her after she says it. Oh Gods help her, she said it too soon. He was going to freak. Which was not what Meri wanted right now. The thought bubble carrying those thoughts is quickly popped when Callum reciprocates those feelings. There was a brief smile, short-lived because she was still beyond depressed over the death of her friend. This was probably not the most romantic 'I love you' exchange in the history of lands but it evidently worked for these two. Now that she has assured Cal that she still wants to know all of his secrets, and they have moved past the issue of that regret, Meri finally sets her sights back on the plate of food. Cal's hands are released and the plate comes to rest on her knee between the two of them so that they can share. "They are both very upset. I would give them some time to let the sting fade a little." Which could take a questionable amount of time. "I don't want to rub old salt into Brand's fresh wounds." Meri bites down on the inside of her lip. "I hope it does not go badly because you are not allowed to die first...Official new rule of this house." And now Meri is outright frowning as her mind stews over everything that could go wrong. It is a line of thought that makes her rather anxious. She tries to rid herself of this anxiety with a long drink of her whiskey. "What did you make for them?"

The smile was returned when Meri started eating again; even if she didn’t eat much, -anything- was better than nothing. Cal would move whatever items were on the bed out of the way so he could crawl over to her briefly and wrap his around around her. “I’m not going anywhere, Meri. I promise. Except, I do have to go somewhere. To the greenhouse real quick. That’s all, though.” He’d kiss her on the forehead, in an attempt to soothe her, before scooting off the bed, heading downstairs, and out the back door. It doesn’t take him long before he’s back, a single flower pot in hand. In it was the very same type of flower Cal had given Meri to wear to Reginae’s coronation. This one was much bigger--the one she’d had back then was just a small clipping of a larger one--and was now sat next to her on the bed for inspection. “I can’t recall if I told you; it was a bit of a hectic night at the coronation. They’re called the Bells of Catal.” He lifted up one of the bells with a couple fingertips lovingly, much in the same way that he’d caress Meri’s cheek. Whatever part of his life he didn’t give to the blonde was very much put into his plants--Meri was very likely the only thing he loved more than them. “I doubt very much they’d care about them as much as I do, but… I thought I’d offer some sort of… I don’t know. Something.”

By the time Cal returns, Meri has decided that she is done trying to force herself to snack (it does look like she nibbled a bit more on that tray of food, even just a little). The tray has been set back onto the bedside table and Meri has managed to refill her whiskey. While she could probably stand to eat more, something -was- better than nothing...she would still end up regretting it in the morning. Cal's return is marked with a look and a faint smile, her recognition of the plant a quick one even if she was never given the name. It was a unique flower, most flowers Meri had seen were white or red...or anything but green. "No, that coronation was a whirlwind...for a variety of reasons." They were both a mess of emotions, Reginae was being assassinated, etc etc. "I never caught the name." Meri mirrors Cal's movements with the plant, she may not have quite the same fondness for them, it was true. But! She could still be gentle and caring, if only because there was the full knowledge that Cal loved these plants dearly. Through that extension, she definitely cared about these plants a great deal. "I think it is a very nice gesture, a thoughtful one. All things considered...A nice reminder of home." Which hopefully is appreciated, it is hard to say, grief and guilt are funny things. Maybe Lionel and/or Brand don't want to be reminded of home? Hm. "So...What if, after they have had some time...We send them a letter requesting they meet? I was thinking perhaps we could invite them to dinner here? But...." Meri frowns. "Maybe in case things do not go well, we should consider sort of mutual ground. Lionel is Frostmaw based. Brand keeps the Tranquility in Cenril. Maybe a restaurant somewhere in between?" They won't burn down some innocent bystanders place of business, will they...? Hopefully they would not burn down the Callumeri home either buuut, crazy Catalians be crazy.

Callum tilted his head to the side, eyeing the wall behind Meri in thought, “I think here might be alright. I don’t think either of them are stupid enough to try to burn down a place in the middle of Larket. Lionel especially has to abide by that whole peace treaty between Larket and Frostmaw. If something does happen, we can agree to settle things elsewhere. Sage hasn’t been burned down in awhile. I’d suggest the house out there for dinner, but I’d rather not let them know about that place just yet.” Setting the plant aside on his bedside table, he’d snuggle up to Meri, wrapping his arms around her again comfortingly, “Let’s not worry about that right now. We’ve certainly got time to think it over and you don’t need extra negativity going on in that head of yours.”

'We can agree to settle it somewhere else.' 'Sage had not been burned for awhile.' Lesson to be learned: these are things not to say to your girlfriend, especially after watching a friend die? Her eyes grow wide and once more tears start filling to the brim, threatening to spill over. While they may not be talking about the subject anymore? Her mind is like a hamster on a wheel right now and it's just spinning along. Even as Callum pulls her closer, tries to comfort her, points out that she probably should not be dwelling on that negativity....Snuggle up to Cal, she'll do that readily and willing, but those thoughts are not so easily silenced. Blue eyes find focus on the far corner of the bedroom, Meri falling silent and left to her thoughts. Even with the help of whiskey, which she is also cuddling pretty tightly to, it would be awhile until she finds sleep. Her mind is too busy replaying the details of Khitti's demise while now running wild with Callum's demise. Common factors in their deaths? Outside of the company that might witness it. Fire. Lots of fire. Much fire. Okay, some of those tears are overflowing a little bit now, but it is not some heaving, snotty cry like earlier.

Those tears were spied moments before he hugged her and guilt flooded in almost immediately. “No, no! I was just kidding. Nothing’s gonna happen, Meri.” Callum pulled away a little, just enough to take her face in both of his hands and make her look at him, “Hey. I mean it. I’m not going anywhere. Okay?” He’d wait a moment for her answer before pressing his lips to hers briefly. “What do you want to do? Do you want to try to sleep?” Hm. Nightmares could be a problem--especially after Meri seeing what she did. “I could make you some tea to help you, if you’d like.”

Sorry Cal, probably in a better mind-state Meri would have received that joke better. At least the very least it would have been dismissed with a bit of eye rolling. She is a little distraught right now. Cal would get his answer in the form of a nod, he wasn't going anywhere. How confident was she with that nod? Not very. So what did she want to do? "Sleep yeah..." But the nightmares would be a thing, how could they not be? Tea was given some serious consideration. She had her whiskey and that would probably help her fall to sleep at some point and to some extent. "Do you think tea is going to help more than whiskey?" There was no snippiness to her tone of voice, she was genuinely asking. And as she asks, she is shifting around on their bed so that she can pull back the covers and crawl beneath them. This one was going to be Cal's call and Meri entirely trusted his judgement. If he felt tea would help, she would drink it.

The lack of confidence was obvious, but Cal wasn’t going to press things with her right now. No point in insisting that he was, in fact, going to survive when she was so out of sorts. He knew, at least, that deep down she might acknowledge it--once you get past all the sadness and grief, that is. “It’s a potion, so you don’t have bad dreams. Just simple stuff like lavender and peppermint. I’ve taken it before.” He wasn’t going to mention that he’d had to drink it for several months after his unfortunate encounter with Lionel and Brand that day the Sunderia sank. “Get settled and I’ll go get it for you.” Callum would take the plate of food, finishing it as he wandered down the stairs, leaving the whiskey and water with Meri. The plate was left in the sink for later, and the tea made for his poor girlfriend upstairs. The Catalian hadn’t had the heart to tell her how worried for her he was. That could’ve been Meri, instead of Khitti, and the thought of it made his own anxiety about losing Meri much worse. The mask he wore to help soothe the blonde was dropped while he was in the kitchen, and a fair bit of crying ensued. What would he do without his she-devil? He wasn’t quite sure. When the tea was finished, Cal drew in a slow, shaky sigh, wiped his eyes, and put the mask back up, composing himself. He’d considered making himself his own bit of the dreamless sleep draught, but… that would indicate that something was wrong. Not wanting to make her condition worse with his worry, Cal would head back up the stairs, and offer her the tea with a faint smile. “Here. It shouldn’t be too hot.”

Poor Cal, Meri was not picking up on a lot of details right now, she'd usually be able to piece things together a bit better. Tonight the 'I've taken it before' doesn't quite click but those details will be strung together in good time. He has told her about the Sunderia and she has seen his reaction to all things Lionel/Brand. She might not be as astute as normal, but that shaking hand did not escape her notice when they discussed the other two Catalians. His own anxiety about losing Meri, in that respect the blonde is slightly selfish tonight and his own stress is not fully occurring to her. She is entirely oblivious that there might even be the slightest hint of redness to the eyes from Cal's own tears, definitely not in the realization that he could perhaps use his own cup. The tea would be accepted with a light smile and Meri would drink it down slowly. The effects were welcomed and wanted but part of the soothing aspect of tea was slowly drinking the warm liquid, it was relaxing. While Meri was silent, the meaning of the look that was on him should be clear: he was going to stay right? At least until she fell asleep, hopefully he would be able to do the same (tea would probably have helped with that, but ah well). It was hard to say how much was really appreciating everything Cal was doing for her in this moment, but over the course of the next few days she'd try and make it apparent. Sad or not, she could at least show her thanks by doing this little things (dishes, pulling weeds, painting some floral design along the third floor hallway that definitely involves his favorite flower).

If Meri had even asked about that redness of his eyes, he’d likely just lie about it and say he was tired. He -was- tired, after all. Tired of dealing with the stresses that come with being closely related to the goings-on that usually involved Lionel and Brand, even if they didn’t know about it yet. Some days, it was easy just to sweep it under the rug; other days, like today, not so much. He’d return to comforting her, crawling in bed with the blonde, stroking her hair and whatever else might need to be done in order to soothe her. No, he wouldn’t leave her. He’d stay even after she went to sleep. There’d be a bit of watching over her when she finally did sleep, but eventually, he’d soon join her.