RP:Hollow Times Issue 5
Part of the Hollow Times Arc
THE GREAT HERO DERGIOUS GIVES AN INTERVIEW
Summary of other news.
SOPHIE SWINDLES! The merchant Sophie, my own secretary, has proved that she does not deserve her reputation for honesty. She has admitted to watering down both her Goopy Concoctions and Fizzy Potions, before selling them on to the public.
EGG FRAUD
After much investigation and putting our lives in great peril, the Flannagan brothers have uncovered a terible deception. The so called 'eggs' sold outside Kelay Tavern are not in fact eggs at all. They are hollow, chocolate forgeries.
DERGIOUS INTERVIEW part 1(This article was written by Erasmus Flannagan using notes from my late father's notebook.)
Sophie had thought she had finally escaped from Flannagan, but he pops out of an ale mug on the bar and begins scribbling in his notebook about Lirithen making death threats to Skylei.
Lirithen said to Skylei, "This." Lirithen brandished the latest issue, just discovered amidst the pile indicated by Rowen, "you WILL righten this, -Lieutenant-, before the next issue is released. Else, you'll be cleaning toilets until the matter is rectified. Understood?" )"
Sophie had been trying to lead Flannagan away from anyone else he could harass, but into the safe house comes someone she considers far from safe to be around. Flannagan is over the moon. "Can I have an interview mister? He asks the dwarf.
Dergious pauses mid-ass scratch and eyes Flanngan up and down, and then resumes his unparrallelled display of ass-scratchery of which his skill is legend. "Whutcha wanna know?" he says in a nasally voice, having ended the epic scratching and begun a regimen of vigorous nostril plumbing with the very same hand.
Sophie sighs resignedly. Flannagan takes out his notebook, and checks through it. "Is there any truth in the rumours that you married a rat and indeed have a rat child?
Dergious pauses long enough to wipe his slick finger across one of the pillows and then turning it booger side down, "Bah! Dat wuz a human vagrant child, an no be o' me own!" He thinks back, "Took er fer sumthin... den did me best te give er no guidance er lurve. Den I dun fergot bout er, den she were a rat." He says with confidence, as if this had explained everything nicely.
Sophie is hoping this is all a terrible dream. Flannagan nods "That is very clear, thank you. What do you prefer cute fluffy kittens or cte fluffy bunnies? What is your favorite shade of pink? If the Duregar were to take over all of Hollow, what would be you policies on health, education, taxes, road building and the environment. Would you guarantee religious freedom?
Dergious thinks, a process made disgusting by his grabbing tufts of ear hair with his filthy fingers and yanking them out by the roots, only to deposit them in both the fresh water and the iron kettle's spout. "Eh, dey all tasted da same. " he says, referring to the kittens and bunnies. He eyes Sophie, "Tell er te be wearin a skirt if ye wanna know whut shade o' pink be best." He pauses again, this time to snort loudly and then make loud hocking sounds, followed by the liquidy swishing as he treats the phlegm like mouthwash and then a great gulp as he swallows it all down. "Health? Yer alive till yer dead. Edjumacation? Ye'll be lernin how things be quick enuff afore yer sent te da mines. Taxes? Take whut we be wantin, an ye keep whutcha can be keepin s'far as taxes. Roads? No! Tunnels! An yer free te be worshippin who we be tellin ye te be worshippin!" He shakes a grungy fist quite unnecessarily at this point until he falters, wondering what he was shaking at in the first place.
Sophie backs slowly away from Dergious. Flannagan still has more questions. What do you know of the plan by the evil shark people to invade the land? Are you aware of how the chickens of the sea are involved. Is there any truth in the rumours that you are having an affair with Lirithen, the shark. Dergious dropped 1 triplets.
Dergious blinks, and then attempts to strike Flannigan with one of the triplets for no reason.
to be continued.....