RP:Heartbroken? I Know A Guy For That

Part of the Rise of Larket Arc

Summary: Huds and Josleen run into each other in Larket's wealthiest neighborhood where Hudson hopes to buy a home for his growing family. He catches up with his friend Josleen, best friend to Alvina, too. Josleen's ire for Hudson's past transgressions fades in light of her own recent drama. As fate would have it, and what a twist, Hudson is the first person in which she confides the 'truth' about Kelovath (as she believes). He manages to make her laugh in spite of the heavy topic, and makes plans to set her up on a date with an eligible bachelor of his choice (hmm).

And Gigi makes a new man-dog friend. It's great!

And Josleen is dramatically picked up by guards! The king demands her presence!

Larket Avenue North

Hudson is standing on a walkway, just out of range of a magical sprinkler system, talking to a heavily made up blond woman in her 40s in a pastel boucle suit. She has a mom hair cut and a lively energy to her, gesticulates while she talks, pointing here and there at a stack of clipped papers that she’s handed to him. Leaning into his personal space, spilling a little out of her blouse, pearls clinking. (Obviously she is a realtor.) Hudson’s body language is relaxed, he’s got his hands in his pockets and he’s glancing a little past the stack of papers, his gaze going a little fuzzy and unfocused as he begins to zone out. "The sellers are highly motivated," she's saying, her voice a little raspy and unpleasant, and purposeful in that regard, like a cat's tongue. Hudson is thinking about getting some lunch. Maybe look through this stack of information about all the houses later. "...and there are four bedrooms, Huuuudssson," that annoying voice that older women use for anything baby-related. "What do you think?" she smiles at him with her perfect teeth. "Yeah, great," automatic response on his end. He rolls up the papers, puts them in his coat pocket. "I'll be in touch, I have to show everything to The Government, it's pretty much up to her." "The Government, ha ha ha," the realtor waves off Hudson, Oh BOYZ. He smirks, admittedly thinks he's pretty endearing. "Does your wife know you call her The Government?" "I don't think so, she'd probably not like it." "Ha ha ha, well surely you mean it lovingly!" "Well yeah. Can't be civilized without a government," he concedes, and they laugh. She squeezes him on the elbow and then they say their goodbyes. She totters up the walkway, back into the home. Hudson starts down the road back toward the center of town. Maybe he'll get a hot dog.

Josleen wanders through Larket's wealthiest quadrant on a route that seems aimless, but is in fact focused in its intent: to avoid. She avoids her house's corner estate in the extreme north west of the quadrant, an expansive manor she no longer considers a home, and she avoids everyone in the fort that knows her name, regardless of how they wield her name, be it scornful or kind. Her route unexpectedly ends in a front row seat to the latest installment of Real Housewives of Larket. It's a slow episode, clearly, given that the narrative follows a husband, a known B-plot filler device for when the wives snooze between boozy bouts of bickering. Hudson turns towards Josleen when he thinks of a hot dog, and she waves cheerfully at him. "Hiii, Huds! It's been so long!" She air kisses his cheek then glances at the door through which the realtor disappeared. "Don't think for a second her flirting will translate into savings. She'll fleece you all the same." Josleen winks good naturedly at her own 'joke'. For the most part her cheer looks genuine. Hudson's face is truly welcome, perhaps surprisingly so, considering how fiercely Josleen stood in Alvina's corner after the affair. But well, when your life's been upended, facts flip into fiction, and your shiny golden trophies turn out to be made of brass, affairs seems less acutely important and friends, even the flawed, serve as precious anchors to the life you had. "Upgrading?"

Hudson finds himself staring directly at his girlfriend's best friend: .. Josleen knows their business, she's probably not on his team, she's basically a spy. Even so, he likes her, she's his friend too, she's an attractive woman whose company is Allowed and actually pleasant anyway. So, he breaks into a grin, emits a "Heyyyy" in the tone of men greeting attractive women they know everywhere, and loosely hugs her with one arm to go through the air kiss. He chuckles with a slow cadence at her joke. "I know this sneaky type of older woman, she reminds me of my mum," he says, rubbing his face. He nods in the direction of the home. "Yeah," is the short answer. "I'm doing like the initial cull of all the houses that are preliminarily acceptable. I have like a list," he pulls it out of his coat and shows it to Josleen. Alvina wants four bedrooms. It also has a number of closet, bath-, and kitchen-related items on it. "And then once I have narrowed it down to the finalists, Alvina will have a look and we'll make an offer on the winner." He puts the list away. It's kind of embarrassing, some of the stuff is spelled out in detail because he's not up with what a 'rain shower' is for example. "She's too big to look at all of them, she gets tired... her feet hurt..." he explains. Such support babydaddy! Much great! "I assume she told you we're having twins? It's terrifying but great?" His face contorts into an expression that's somewhere between a grimace and roguish grin of glee. "Anyway, what's up with you? You want to get a hotdog and beer with me? Yeeeees, you do."

Josleen smirks at Hudson's reference to his mother, but leaves it at that as Josleen finds E. L. Landon's fiction too racy, the centaur-loving woman herself a scandal impossible to ignore, and thus any comment she would make would undoubtedly be awkward. Instead she makes sounds of approval ("Ah!" "Hm!") and takes the list of contenders to review Hudson's work in which she has modest faith. Meanwhile, behind Josleen, a frou-frou poodle with his white fur cut into 'handsome' pom poms rounds the corner. Gigi, too regal for the leash (definitely not forgotten by Josleen's player in the first post), stayed behind to sniff at a cocker spaniel throgh an wrought iron fence. The dogs then had to engage in The Ritual (TM): running back and forth together along the length of the fence until their friendship quickens into an unbreakable bond. The Ritual was cut short by the pause in Josleen's footsteps. Gigi must know why. /Goodbye, Spaniel! My human has stopped! But why?!/ He rounds the corner. /A man! WOW! He smells like a dog!/ Gigi lands snout first in Hudson's crotch. "Oh! Gigi!" Josleen exclaims cheerfully, endeared by this rude behavior--though really anything Gigi does is endearing. That's a fact, not an opinion (according to Josleen, aka an opinion). "Huds, I don't think you've met Gigi?" The poodle circles round to sniff Hudson's butt, then drifts down his legs to smell Aria round the ankles. ((What's this?! A man-dog with a cat friend. WOWOWOWOWOW!)) Josleen, less impressed by Hudson that her dog, taps the fourth house on the list and says. "Heads up, the foundation of this house cracked, or so I was told when I was house-hunting last year. There's a problem with mold, too. The builders cut corners. Shame too, absolutely gorgeous house, but it'll give you all consumption before you can sell it." That line is too rehearsed and pithy to be spontaneous. In fact, it's a line repeated by house-hunters and gossips at any opportunity, and it's likely this won't be the first time Hudson hears it. List hand-off, deed down, then the big news! "Twins! I did not know! It's my fault really. I fell off the face of the earth, or so it feels." The admission knicks a chink in her cheery armor, a blunting of her smile. The hotdog idea restores the smile. "Hah, I haven't had one in... a year? Sounds fun!" She falls into step with Hudson and lets him lead the way. Gigi stays on Hudson's opposite side obsessively sniffing the lycan, unless there is poop, then he sniffs that, but always returning to the absolutely -amazing- lycan. He whines from over stimulation.

Hudson, upon being enlightened of Gigi's existence - principally because the dog has commenced sniffing him in and around the crotchal region - is also endeared, despite rude behavior. "Heeeeey girl!" he exclaims to Gigi, whom he assumes is a female, because women have female pets, obviously, also the dog's name is Gigi and that's a female's name. Also females love him. Rock solid reasoning, kaboom. Hudson, who is also part dog, immediately bends at the knee to vigorously pet Gigi and put his face up in the dog's face, generally showing about as much enthusiasm back as he receives. Indeed this meeting is the human man-dog version of The Ritual. "Gigi is such a pretty girl," remarks Hudson with the usual pride one uses to flatter dogs, straightening and patting Gigi, who is circling him and wagging his tail aggressively. The words are just out of his mouth before he is made aware that Gigi is not, in fact, of the female sex. Hudson moves slightly and shoos Gigi off his leg before their relationship gets more intimate than he'd like. "Anddddd you're clearly a dude, Gigi," he observes, accepting his list back. "Thanks, that's a rumor I'd heard so good to hear independent verification. I'm thinking I'm just gonna skip that one," he says to Josleen, taking a pen out and striking the address. He puts his itinerary away and intermittently pats Gigi who has now taken up a leap-sniffing canter alongside of him as they walk. "Yeah I know Alvina missed you, it was a bit cloak and dagger for you for awhile there wasn't it?" he muses, giving Josleen a meaningful extended look. "So what you're just... out and about now? I'm going to cop to being totally ignorant of what's going on," he's been avoiding the news in Cenril because of all the blood thirsty editorials in favor of burning Valrae, incidentally, "...but I feel like you weren't just out and about getting hotdogs before." Sensing that perhaps if things continue in the same vein for much longer, he will have a significant dog drool spot on the side of his pants, Hudson pauses to pick up a stick and throw it an impressive distance.

Josleen is about to correct Hudson on the matter of Gigi's gender when Gigi beats her to the hump. False gender assumptions aside, she beams with pride at the praise her pooch rightfully earns. He's the best, go on. The human-to-human interaction (lycan-to-half elf??) lacks the unambiguous joy a dog brings to most encounters. Josleen grimaces slightly as Hudson references her recent history. "Cloak and dagger, yea... though it turns out..." Her head cants side to side as she considers how to broach the subject. A knot forms in her throat as she thinks of Kelovath's betrayal, though the knot isn't wet with sorrow and snot, but dry and wordless with embarrassment. And anger. Rage rises from the soles of her feet to crown her head, a rage seeded in her, and only in part, by a king. But some of her rage is natural. How could it not be, after what Kelovath has done? And her rage is evident in the light snarl, the scowl, the red cheeks. "I'm sure Alvina told you I was hiding from Larketian forces. Hiding with Kelovath. Well, they found me, but." She waves a hand to dismiss any kneejerk concern. "I'm fine. They treated me well. And well..." She rubs at her collar anxiously, working up the nerve to confess what embarrasses her. She's unable to look at him as she speaks; walking is a good excuse to look ahead. "I had it wrong. This new king, Macon, he is not as evil as Kelovath led me to believe, and it turns out most things are not as Kelovath led me to believe..." She glances at Hudson sidelong to see whether or not he already knew this, whether or not she alone was made a fool.

Hudson is leading them to a local bodega, which is tiny on the inside but known to Larket insiders to produce exceptional hot dogs and chicken parmesans. There is also a cat inside. Gigi is racing after the stick, Hudson watches the dog with one ear to Josleen. He had heard a little bit from Alvina about Josleen being on the room. Couples do tell each other almost everything, especially when they're at rock bottom and seeking to feel better about themselves. This had come up in the context of the baby shower, as Hudson had asked why Josleen wasn't expected to attend. The details he'd forgotten but Josleen's refreshing him easily here. "Yeah I think I remember that," he says, falling silent to let her continue. It's obvious there's a plot twist here, she looks fine and is roaming about unfettered with her dog in broad daylight. He's looking at the dog and only belatedly turns to look at her when her pinched voice gives her away, so he almost misses the cagey body language she adopts. He's a little confused by this development, his brow twitches. Well, clearly they broke up. It gives him a subtle satisfaction to be still standing with Alvina after hearing this. He is not the worst! The dog brings him the stick and he throws it again. "What so there's some stuff he did that you didn't know about and that's why he's still on the lam?" he asks, swinging his attention back to Josleen. There's an edge of confusion in his tone that he tries to mask as curiosity. "I mean also clearly you guys broke up? Sorry to hear that?"

Gigi chases the stick, but is immediately distracted by horse poop. He trots over to the steaming pile, stick in mouth, and sniffs the poop so close that the stick picks up a few clumps. Having determined there is nothing worth salvaging for a snack, he returns to Hudson with the poop stick. This time, he wants to play tug-of-war with the stick, the next best game, which means he expects Hudson to get a good grip on the stick and fight him for it. He bends his front paws down, poofy tail up and wagging, and growls to initiate the war play. Josleen, too distracted by the soul-rattling drama that has absorbed her in recent months, ignores Gigi's antics. "Yes, he lied about... everything." She shakes her head in tiny, incredulous motions. She still struggles to keep tidy her new reality. "He did everything. Everything you read about in the news months ago? That he said was all done by Macon? Lies." Her hand rubs her collar red and raw, a coping mechanism for stress and anxiety with little benefit. "He unleashed the fermin plague in Larket, he killed that priest, he's... He's no paladin of Arkhen, that's for sure. All of it... it's..." Her voice cracks a little. "I've cried enough over it, and now I'm just angry and embarrassed. How did I not see the truth?" She looks sharply at Hudson again. "Did you notice anything amiss? Any red flags?"

Hudson ignorantly commences engaging in tug of war with Gigi and only belatedly realizes, when the smell reaches him, that it has somehow implicated horse poop. Unfortunate. But, it's already started to happen, so... He immediately lets the dog win the game and determines that he'll wash his hands in the bodega and try not to touch anything in the meantime. And then Josleen identifies Kelo as the figure behind all the terrible happenings in Larket and immediately forgets his new rule re: horse poop and nearly wipes his hands on his pants. He realizes immediately what he's about to do, catches himself just in time. "Ah," word that rhymes with sit," he exhales, looking at her and waiting for his brain to catch up with this litany of crimes. (Did he catch himself in time, does he smell like horse poop though?) "There was poop on the stick," he explains, kind of lamely, considering the conversation up until this point. "That is crazy," he is quick to show Josleen he was paying attention despite PoopStick Gate. "Kelo was the lamest guy at my bachelor party, he literally just lurked around hardly consuming any alcohol and seeming disturbed by the behavior of certain of my friends," he elaborates. "I mean, he was so deeply uncomfortable, like... are you sure?" They've reached the bodega now, and he catches the door with his elbow for them after another client leaves. "Can you order us the hot dogs, I just want one, regular. Give me a second," he tells her, stopping behind the counter to acquire some type of wet wipe sold in single format and at an insane markup. He rejoins Josleen by the cramped grill in a cleaner state. "Sorry about that," he excuses himself. "So yeah... I mean, Kelo?"

Josleen glances at the poop stick and poop hand and gives a 10% effort in batting towards Gigi reproachfully. Bad dog, etc., she's too consumed in her drama to give it even 11%. Josleen considers Hudson's testimony as they enter the bodega which smells strongly of pickles and relish. She helps him with the door, but gives his hand a wide berth, just in case. She orders two hotdogs, 1 regular, 1 with Elimdori olives (expensive for no reason other than effective regional branding). Oh they don't have Elimdori olives? Just regular olives? She pulls a snobby face. "Pickles then." The Larketian castle is always stocked with Elimdori olives, which have quickly become Josleen's favorite snack which she pairs with her favorite pastime: brooding over Kelovath. She also orders 1 beer for Hudson, a microbrew whose quality Josleen's judges by its label art, and 1 sweet tea for herself. Gigi sits just beyond the bodega's door coveting at all the hotdogs, whimpering, begging for just one hot dog, just one. Or all. Of half of one. Whatever the humans can spare. "Yea... I know. Trust me, I know. I resisted accepting this for a long while. He was so good at the con. I mean, think about your bachelor party. He doesn't drink, and you assume it's because he's a holy man, as he wants you to assume. Or maybe it's because he's a con man who doesn't want to lose inhibitions, let slip the wrong thing while drunk. Eh?" She lifts her brows conspiratorially, pauses to let this #Truth dawn on Hudson. "But there's one piece of evidence that really clinches the deal for me. I'll tell you..." She nods outside and glances at the cook, who looks to be foreign given his tan (Lithrydel is 5 shades of pale). Hotdogs and drinks in hand, they walk back onto the street and she explains in an incredulous and leading tone that Kelovath claims he went to the underdark alone, visited Gevurah D'Artes alone, confronted her alone, was then attacked but was saved by a sentient and powerful sword that was trapped in a box enchanted by Tiphareth, arguably the most powerful mage of all time. Not only was he saved by this sword, mind you, but he escaped the premier drow power house, the city, and the underdark, unscathed. A likely story indeed. "Or it was given to him."

Hudson normally drinks the Hollow equivalent of Coors Light but nonetheless approves of the meal Josleen has organized. Bossy women always know what just to get! Gods bless the piss out of them! While they wait for the food, he pays for it, without consulting Josleen because he assumes the gendered social contract between men and women is in place right now. "I mean, I'm involved in some shady stuff and I still get tanked now and then," he says, not quite buying it but willing to go along with the general principle that some men are not as bossman as he is. They carry their food outside, Hudson opens his drink and notes, with begrudging satisfaction, that it's good despite the stuffy hipster label. Maybe better than Coors Light, but that won't stop him. He sneaks the end of his hot dog to Gigi, but then has to do a double take at Josleen as the tale of Kelovath's evilness evolves to include Gevurah. "What?" the word's out like a shot and rife with incredulity. "Gevurah?" he repeats the drowess' name. "Kelo, who spent my entire bachelor party afraid of his own shadow, went into the Underdark by himself and hung out with Gevurah, who based on my experience eats men for breakfast? And he acquired a magic sword in the process?" A beat. "Is this a joke?"

Josleen, for the record, made a half-hearted effort to pay. 'Are you sure?' style. Of course she always assumed he would. She doesn't say anything when Hudson feeds her dog utter trash. It's good enough for humans, but not her precious pup. Still, this one time, and for the sake of maintaining some semblance of cool, she forces a too-tight smile which betrays the fact she hates what Hudson just did. The moment passes quickly as Hudson finally gets it and expresses appropriate levels of disbelief and shock. "Not a joke! This is exactly what he told me! And I--oh gods, you'll think me a fool, but... I wanted to believe him so badly. I was so in love. I believed that! How! I don't know. I hardly recognize who I was just a couple months ago. How could I believe that yarn? It's-it's-it's I mean-" She stutters her way to an exasperate head shake and flounce. Gigi sniffs at a pickle that fell on the floor. He wants it, but it has dirt on it, so he whines instead. Poop is okay, but dirt seems risky.

Hudson is having a hard time conjuring up the right facial expression to deal with this ridiculous story. Right now his face is just a mask of 'man thinking.' He drinks from his beer, stuffs some of his hot dog into his face, as Josleen expands on the deception. "Man, that's really messed up," is his conclusion, which he says calmly because he's still having a hard time processing. Kelovath is evil, crit error. A moment of silence settles in between them, punctuated by Gigi's whines, during which Hudson's demeanor gradually assumes an appropriately troubled look to it. "Sorry this happened to you," he says to Josleen. "I mean I thought he was kind of..." he avoids using a word for weak that also sometimes describes cats, "you know, not that much to him." There we go. "Not an evil genius for one." He licks mustard off of his hand which is disgusting if you think about it for a second. This is moderately awkward because Alvina had felt a little blindsided by his cooking dust - less so than by his sleeping with Valrae, small victory (?) - but at least what he did was of ambiguous morality rather than, you know, collusion with Gevurah, about whom he now is under no delusions. He sighs. "Well at least now you're no longer in hiding and you know the truth," he says. "You didn't get married, you didn't have kids with him... I assume he's a fugitive still..." He shakes his head. "Man, that's so messed up though......"

Josleen finds Hudson's stunted response absolutely normal for she too suffered a critical error--for weeks. Even now there are times when she thinks about it and feels her brain strain under the intense pressure of piecing together "Kelo is evil" with absolutely anything else. Kelo:Evil::Gigi:Cute????? There was a time when Josleen, drunk on love, would object to Kelovath being called a coward, but today she wholeheartedly agrees. "Love messes you up," she says in agreement. "And yes, he's a fugitive. I'm staying in the fort helping the King capture him, ideally alive so he may confess before the public and the gods." Beat. "And me. I want that son of a bitch to confess to me, right to my face." She grows angrier as she speaks. Justice and revenge, it's the only way to combat the embarrassment of being duped. "What I don't understand is why he thought he needed me. Why involve me? That's the part that just..." A hand splays tensely by her ear and rattles, pantomiming 'drives me crazy.' She inhales loudly, like a bull itching to charge. Having spoken of herself enough, she tries to change the subject. "I'm glad you and Alvina are staying in Larket." Josleen has no idea they ever left. "The new King seems like a good king to me. He cares about Larket. Once we capture Kelovath, hopefully the war will be over. It'll be good for your family." She smiles faintly. At last she bites her now-cold hotdog. She finds it difficult to eat when discussing kelovath.

Hudson eats the rest of his hot dog. How satisfying, despite the grim nature of their conversation. He doesn't get riled up or involved in Josleen's bloodthirsty desire to have Kelovath confess his crimes. He's still hung up on the disturbing truth. KELOVATH! That guy had been so awkward but well meaning! They had talked about playing golf together! You think you know a guy... A comforting thought. He says it out loud, in a sympathetic tone: "You think you know a guy." A beat. "I don't even... Sven." Said with respect for what she's going through. "If I found out Alvina was secretly evil I'd be pretty messed up, not holding it together nearly as well as you are." At least he's not secretly evil, he only cheated, right! "I'm not super up on politics," he reveals, "but there's good schools here and Cenril's got some anti werewolf sentiment going on right now. Uh," he rubs his face, "I assume Alvina told you." Awkward. Remember when Josleen herself suffered from 'anti werewolf sentiment?' Hilarious times. Better change the subject. "We actually moved back to her place outside Kelay until the move, you should come by and hang with Alvina, she'd love it. I also know a couple single guys with good biceps and a full head of hair if you want me to set you up. Some of them might have jobs too. I dunno, maybe I'm off the mark, I can't get a read on you - Ansel was kind of like a skinny hipster, and then Kelovath was this beefy dude. If you want skinny hipster guys maybe Alvina knows some."

Josleen snort laughs, loudly, at the idea of Alvina being secretly evil. Ever since discovering Kelovath's betrayal she has suspected everyone of secret villainy. Mailman? Evil. Mom?! Maybe evil?! But Alvina is exempt for obvious reasons: she's Alvina. "I'm glad to hear I'm holding it together. I've had a month to process it now, and I think I cried out what I needed to cry. I just want to see him behind bars now." You know what also helped expedite her recovery? The royal D. But that's a secret she won't share. Josleen nods that indeed Alvina has told her Hudson likes to howl at the moon. "She did tell me, and it made me wonder if perhaps your... new physiology is in part to blame for the... indiscretion." Actually, she did not wonder that at all then, but and is only now grasping at excuses so that she may forgive Hudson for hurting her friend. So, here you go Hudson, a fresh excuse. She laughs again when Hudson plays matchmaker and nods conspiratorially. "I will visit for Alvina, stay for the hunks." She plays along despite the fact she's already rebounding and likely won't take up any offered beefcakes. Josleen is never without a man, a fact as hard as water is wet. Hudson's simple approach to all problems has been good for Josleen. She feels lighter than she did before she ran into him. "I don't know my own type either, but I've had enough trial and error now to know what I don't like: holy men, unemployed men, men who drink too much, men who never drink at all, and... well.. skinny hipsters. The beefiness wasn't the problem..." She snort laughs into the back of her hand and turns bright red. Gigi eyes a precariously perched pickle, and when it falls, he leaps into action and snatches it midair before it hits the ground. A carriage rounds the corner and a guard leans out the open window searching up and down the street for someone in particular. Josleen's face screws in confusion as she watches the guards. "I have a feeling that's for me..."

Hudson decides to drink from his beer at the mention of his 'indiscretion.' He emits a noise in the base of his throat that could maybe convey acknowledgment of her theory. It gives him a general malaise to discuss this with Josleen, and he's more than happy to let the conversation move onto safer territory, like setting Josleen up. He likewise sees her as a woman who's never without a man, and without any knowledge of the Royal D he believes he's doing the lords' work here. "No unemployed guys, no alcoholics, no total lamers," he repeats, dutifully. "I don't know any holy men," he clarifies, just to show he's paying attention, "Beefy... no comment. Good choice on the no skinny hipsters. I think I have one guy from my Cenril private school days that I still play golf with who might be OK. He was a hardcore party guy back in the day but now --" Hudson freezes, impressed with Gigi's feat. "-- he's in real estate." Cue the appearance of Josleen's ride. Maybe setting her up with 'Shack', AKA Shackleford Harrington III, isn't so bad an idea, she's apparently somebody these days. "Fancy. Good seeing you," he says. They exchange the perfunctory goodbye hug, and he lifts a hand to see them off, waiting for the carriage to peel away before digging out his list of addresses. Maybe another beer after he's seen the next two...