RP:Everything Falls Apart

Summary: Sometimes, things don't really work out, despite both parties wanting it to.

Chartsend, The Day After The Battle Against Kahran

After running into a Ha-Naga (and potential ally?) in the market, Pilar and Yozenra were returning home with their groceries: a few hardy winter vegetables and a pre-cooked lobster. With the town treasury depleted, Chartsend was in the midst of an economic decline. Many citizens had worked for the town in some respect, including Pilar. The militia that defended the town? All volunteers. The clinic workers? All volunteers. And not very many people were up for doing those jobs with no pay. Pilar didn't need to eat, but Yozenra did, and so did Pilar's many pets. Not to mention they were among the few people still paying their rent to the Patron (or rather, the Patron's assistant, since Wilhelm himself was hiding in Kelay waiting for the heat to die down). It wasn't a good time.

Khitti was out and about gathering supplies not only for the kitchen, but for the Tranquility’s healer, Lennier, too as the battle the previous day used up quite a bit. Gone were the black clothing that Khitti had opted for that day, traded for her usual knee-length, sleeveless dresses (this was her new favorite: a pale peach lace one), a long dusky blue cardigan, and her favorite, but worn boots. As Pilar and the naga were wandering past, Khitti was busy picking out herbs from a stall that specialized in both cooking spices and healing components. “Hm. Some ginger… Lavender... “ She paused to look down at her list, before spouting off a few more items.

Pilar stopped when she heard Khitti's voice and looked over at her, eyes brightening. “Khitti!” She approached, smiling. Yozenra followed, folding her arms and regarding the reborn woman coolly. Pilar said, “Once you're finished, would you like to join us for dinner? We're having lobster.” Yozenra's mouth twitched toward a frown, but her face remained mostly emotionless.

The redhead blinked a few times as Pilar spoke up from behind her and spun about to face the two. Yozenra’s attitude and lack of greeting was regarded in silence, but Khitti carried on nevertheless, “Hm. I might be able to, but it’ll have to be quick, unfortunately. Brand and the crew are working overtime to get things situated with new cargo and such. He’ll be absolutely famished afterwards. I could definitely go for some lobster, though. I don’t get to eat it much because he’s allergic to it. One moment.” She turned back around, gave the rest of her list to the person running the stall, a more than enough gold to cover the herbs and a message: ‘Tell Brand I’ll be late. I’m with Pilar for dinner. I’ll be sure to be home in time to make his when I get there.’ Khitti’d definitely have to make sure she drank enough of whatever was offered to get that lobster out of her mouth--you know, so she doesn’t prompt an allergic reaction with kissing (she’s already done that once).

Pilar smiled brightly and led Khitti through the town, towards her house. The building was a two stories tall, with fading paint and a brand-new door that didn't match the rest of the facade. Yozenra, as she wasn't holding the groceries, unlocked the door and allowed the two of them to enter. The naga then went about lighting the lamps while Pilar put the groceries on the counter and started a fire in the stove. “Feel free to take a seat, it'll be a bit before we're ready,” she said. The kitchen was of a good size, with an eat-in area. Nearby was the living room, where an old dog was napping on the couch. The canine lifted her head and, spotting her masters and their guest, got up and approached. She sniffed Khitti, tail wagging. Pilar put the lobster in a pan and stuck it on the stove to reheat it. Yozenra was in the living room by the sofa, lighting the last lamp. The room was filled with bookshelves, which in turn were filled with books, along with many wooden carvings, which were Yozenra's work. The coffee table had a mess of magazines and a used coffee mug on it. Yozenra shifted some items around. “You can leave your things here, if you like,” she offered.

Khitti looked around a bit as the lamps were lit and the owners of the house went about their business. “I’m kind of jealous,” she said loudly enough that both of them might hear her, as she bent over to pet the doggo, “I’m not sure if Brand and I will ever get a house at this point. We’ve talked about it several times, back when Dominic was still around, and even recently, but… now with Kahran running amuck, I don’t know if it’s even safe. I even had a place picked out too, maybe, but who knows.” She shrugged, “I love living on the Tranquility, but I’m just not sure if it’s a good place to raise a kid. It’s going to need some turf to go with the surf, you know.” She finally took a seat in the living room for now and pulled off her boots, setting down the few things she'd been carrying before Pilar and Yozenra had come along. She wasn’t far enough along for her feet to be swelling, and she wasn’t even sporting a bump yet despite the fact that she had gained a little bit of weight--that was mostly from eating and actually being able to gain weight now--but she was definitely tired, and started to feel it when she sat down. “It’s very nice here.” The compliment was sincere; she didn’t even mind the clutter or whatever stray dish might be around--that’s how homes are supposed to be.

Medli, the dog, followed Khitti and lied down next to her. She liked her new friend! Pilar was washing and preparing the vegetables while Yozenra set the table. “I think you're right to want a house,” Pilar said as she peeled the potatoes. “I'd be worried about the baby falling off the ship when they get older and start to walk.” Yozenra came over to help and Pilar continued, “I wouldn't let Kahran stop you. If not him, there'd be something else threatening total destruction. Were you looking in Cenril?” They placed the potatoes in a pot of water and set them on the stove.

“I don’t think living on a ship will be -that- bad, really. What I’m picturing is just more conventional and Brand and I are anything but that. It’s not like the kid wouldn’t ever see land and, in fact, they’d end up seeing more than just Cenril!” Khitti seemed pleased with this thought. Feeling a little better after sitting down, she turned around on the couch enough to be able to look at the kitchen and watch the two of them work. “And, it’s not like Brand wouldn’t teach them how to swim. He’s better at it than I am. Only reason why I hadn’t managed to drown is because of the whole lack of breathing thing with vampirism. I mean, I got used to swimming after a bit--especially when we dealt with mermaids--but I’d trust him with that more than I would myself. He lived on a ship for nearly his entire life.” Well, him and Dominic, but she doesn’t mention Dominic.

“Sounds exciting. I might still get the little one a life jacket, though. With embroidered bunnies on it. And maybe a matching one for you,” Pilar said, grinning. Yozenra finished peeling the carrots and went about cutting them up. There was a tapping at the back window, and Pilar left the kitchen to walk through the living room to open in. In flew Ciela, the white winter owl Khitti had gifted her. The owl landed on the armrest of the sofa and looked at Khitti with huge eyes. “Hoo.” Pilar shut the window and smiled. “I think she remembers you.” Yozenra continued cooking, saying nothing outwardly, though the link with Pilar betrayed her dark mood. Pilar's eyes flickered over to the kitchen briefly, but she looked back at Khitti with a smile. “Can I get you something to drink? I know alcohol's off the table, but we have milk, water, and apple cider.”

Khitti nodded a little at the mention of life jackets. “Hrm. Apple cider, please. Milk, on its own, hasn’t been agreeing well with my stomach. I’ve been having to mix it with a bit of melted chocolate in order to keep it down.” She made a bit of a face at the thought of plain milk, though her line of sight didn’t stray from Pilar and her naga girlfriend. A slight smirk would appear, then disappeared before anyone might see it. Khitti wasn’t an idiot. It didn’t take much to see that Yozenra still thoroughly disliked her. The mischief-maker in Khitti, however, didn’t care. “So, Yozenra. Where are you from? Alithrya? Or were you born elsewhere?” Yes, Yoz. Khitti’s going to make conversation with you because you hate her and she knows it.

Pilar nodded and went into the kitchen to pour Khitti a cup. She glanced at Yozenra when Khitti asked her question. She knew Yozenra hated Khitti. They didn't talk about it, but she knew. Yozenra didn't take her eyes off the food when she answered, voice level. “Alithrya, yeah.” She looked at Pilar, knew the vampire would want her to be friendly, and elaborated. “Wasn't until this past year that I ever left, actually. Grew up there, trained to be a warrior, became a city guard. Pilar's the one who got me to leave for the first time, and was kind enough to offer her home when I had to flee the city more recently.” Yozenra dumped the carrots into the pot with the potatoes while Pilar delivered the cider to Khitti.

Khitti watched both women in the kitchen with a pleasant sort of smile on her face--this was entirely too amusing to her. “I see. That sounds entirely--” Khitti sifted through the rolodex of adjectives in her brain for just the right one that might sound appealing enough “--exciting.” Was it really exciting? Well, it wasn’t entirely boring but Khitti expected that Yoz wasn’t entirely telling the whole story. People -never- tell the whole story to someone they obviously hate. This had been the way of things with Khitti and Brand… and Khitti and Lionel… and well… Khitti and everyone--she wasn’t always the nicest to people, unfortunately and vice versa. Funny how things change. “How did you meet Pilar? Were you one of the naga that’d been frozen ages ago?” It’s clear that she’s read some things; obviously Pilar knows all about Khitti being a bookworm. This was very quickly turning into one of those interviews family members give when they want to make sure that whomever was dating their sibling/child/whatever was right for them. When Pilar handed off the drink to the redhead, she’d take it with thanks and sip it slowly to test the waters that was her stomach, as she awaited answers from the naga.

Yozenra grunted softly. "Exciting. Yeah." She stirred the pot of vegetables, still not looking at Khitti. "Yeah, I was frozen. Most of us were. I met Pilar when she came to Alithrya to visit Reginae, back in... either late March or early April." Pilar went to Yozenra's side and kissed her cheek. Yozenra finally cracked a small smile. "I can't believe it's been such a short time..."

“Reginae… Reginae. Oh right. I remember hearing about the coronation. It’s unfortunate that there can’t ever seem to be a royal ball or some such without some form of evil showing up and wrecking the place.” Khitti sighed heavily. It’d been a long time since Hildegarde’s coronation and the last time she’d gotten to dance properly. There’d been none of that at the Cenril election, nor at Larewen’s Halloween ball. Her and Brand didn’t even bother going to Macon and Josleen’s wedding because, well, they’re frakking off their rockers. The initial thought about the Queen of Frostmaw’s coronation brought back memories of Dominic to the forefront, and caused quite the frown the marr Khitt’s features. She sat back onto the couch, to hide the change in her demeanor from either of them, and thought on other things. That really hadn’t even been the last time she’d danced--it’d been with Brand, Yule night. He was drunk, and had gotten her clothes she’d sold off for money, and even brought new ones with him. Even -this- wasn’t true. She’d danced many times since then, most of them with Death itself. Now, she was dancing with Yozenra, but it was a dance she was quickly tiring of. “How long are you going to hold this grudge against me?” There was no harshness to her voice as the question was laid before the naga suddenly, instead it just sounded exhausted.

Pilar swallowed and looked to Yozenra, who didn't immediately answer. She finished stirring, put the spoon down, and inhaled slowly. "I'll let it go when you apologize to Pilar." "Yozi, she already--" "A real apology, not that half-assed excuse she sent you so she could die with a clear conscience." Yozenra looked to Khitti, her brows furrowed in restrained anger. "I don't want to hear about how you were 'manipulated.' If you think that's reason to forgive you, then you should accept that Pilar was, too. The idea that Dragana should die never crossed her mind until Emrith put it there. And believe you me, if I ever see that guy, we're going to have words." Pilar shifted uncomfortably. "Yozenra, it was my fault, completely. I gave him the knife." "You weren't the one who used it. And you definitely didn't tell him to use it on her." Yozenra turned her attention back to Khitti. "You both hurt each other, true. But unlike Pilar, you did it on purpose. If you love her like you say you do, tell her you're sorry." Pilar grimaced and looked between them. "It's fine, it's fine, please, let's... It's fine." But was it, though? Part of her, deep down, felt there was truth to what Yozenra said. But she was just so desperate to have her sister back.

“Would that I still had my vampirism, I’d make you see truth, woman,” Khitti sighed heavily. “I showed her every aspect of my life this past year through a blood link, aside from explicitly private moments--she -knows- Facilier was controlling me. No, not all of it was him, but I was just a wee bit sensitive about things after getting stabbed nearly to death. It happens. You’re a warrior--have you ever gotten stabbed to the brink of death? It makes you a little irritable.” Speaking of irritable, Khitti was starting to get that way. It didn’t take much though, what with all of her mistakes getting thrown in her face again. “I cast her off because I needed time to process things. Only moments after the two of you left the Dark Forest that day Larewen found out, I told her to leave it up to Frostmaw, because much like myself and Emrith, Pilar is citizen there. Larewen was going to kill her--did you really think I was going to let her? Not even Emrith, who was the one to follow through with the plan, met his end.” Khitti shook her head, finishing off what was left of the cider before continuing, “Doesn’t matter if I apologize to her again or not. It doesn’t matter if you think I did it to clear my conscience or not. That was your first impression of me and it’s going to take quite awhile to get over it. Great. That’s fine. Take all the time you need. But, I no longer have a long life span like the two of you. I’m alive again, but I’m exhausted from all of this. From all of the stuff that’s going on out there--” She motioned to the door, then motioned to her stomach, “--and from all of what’s going on in here. There are bigger things going on than your little grudge, other things I have to worry about.” Khitti laughed a little, somewhat sadly, “I could die in childbirth--to hell with Kahran and his frakking nonsense--I could die and I’d leave Brand with this child that he didn’t want for so long and -that’s- what I’m worried about. So, continue on with this if you wish, but I don’t have the energy for it anymore, not with everything else.” The redhead set down the glass on the table beside her, then started pulling on her boots, looking as if she were going to leave.

Tears came to Pilar's eyes and her lip began to tremble. "No, Khitti, please..." She couldn't believe it. All Khitti had to do was say sorry and they could move on. Yozenra scowled. "You said you loved her. You said she would always be your sister. But the minute someone asks you to prove it, you just make excuses. I don't care what you said to Larewen after we left. While we were there, you were all too happy to rub salt on the wound." Pilar suddenly began to sob in earnest, eyes locked on Khitti. "Your life is short now, I know. If... If you don't want to spend a moment of it with me, just say so. I love you, Khitti. Please... Please tell me you love me too."

“I’m not playing this game with either of you. If you’re my sister, I shouldn’t -have- to say it more than once. I shouldn’t -have- to prove it. Fights happen in families. Sometimes there’s apologies; sometimes there isn’t. But you -move on- anyway. I’m not making excuses, to either of you. I’m stating facts and literally giving you a look at the past year--a year that was incredibly trying and literally killed me, regardless of the mishap with Emrith.” Khitti finished pulling on her boots and stood up, suddenly feeling a little dizzy from it, but tried not to show it through anything more than a slight wobble. “I know it’s not been so long since your family passed that you don’t remember what having a sibling is like, Pilar. I have lost mine three times now, the first of which was over sixteen years ago, and I’ve not forgotten. It’s not all peaches and cream. Sometimes you get along, sometimes you don’t. I have paid for my mistakes. I paid for it with fire and blood--and I will not do it again. I apologized and I moved on. If you cannot, then that is not my problem.” A finger jutted out and pointed at Yozenra, “And -she- is poisoning your mind with hate because she can’t let go either--she can’t let go of something she wasn’t even a part of!” Suddenly, Khitti wished Brand or Lionel or anyone else that’d been with her these past few months since her rebirth was here to back her up, and now she too was on the verge of tears. “When you’re ready to move on, you know where I’ll be. Have a nice dinner.” With that, she turned on her heels and left, heading back to the Tranquility.