RP:Brave Ranok has slain the evil biscuit monster and is introduced to an invisible dolphin

Setting

Kelay Tavern

9 Sept 2011

The little rat empress is here, basking in the adoration of all here loyal subjects.

Yet another gift unworthy of the supreme empress of the known universe

Ranok enters the tavern, carrying a large sack over one shoulder.

Rowen gazes contemptuousnessly at Ranok. "What pitiful excuses for gifts worthy of the supreme empress of the known universe have you brought me today, you half-witted peasant."

Ranok announces, with no regards to her insult towards him, "Hy brink hyu de fruits uf you labors, Impe. Hy hef brought forvard only de triumph uf you champion. Hy brink hyu...de korpse uf de dreaded Biscuit Monster." The then dumps the sack out onto the floor, revealing a large amount of someone moist, rather moldy smelling biscuits.

Kirien told you, "(ooc; xD i adore your deluded little rat. <3)"

Ranok dropped 15000 biscuit.

Daath picked up 1 biscuit.

Bravo brave little human, you have slain the evil biscuit monster

Rowen is delighted! "Bravo brave little human, you have slain the evil biscuit monster, and did the sanctified roped I asked loads and load and loads of gods to bless for you help?" The gluttonous lil' rta sacmpers over and begins to consume the 'corpse of the biscuit monster'.She glare at the blind fox Kirien seeming rather annoyed. "Kirien, sir, I do not believe this is the first time I have had to remind you that the law requires you to wear rear view mirrors, for the safety of other citizens." Daath seems to appear from out of nowhere, spontaneously generating next to you.

You picks up the corpse of the biscuit monster.

You picked up 14999 biscuit.

You eats the entire corpse of the biscuit monster.

You ate 14999 biscuits.

You burps loudly.

The (b)ratty empress

Kirien had not intended to be here. Despite this desire to be elsewhere, it seemed he'd found himself shouldering into the old tavern as though drawn through its doors; perhaps by the lingering sensation of something or another, or a whisper. His tail might've swished frighteningly close to Rowen as the empath made his way barwards, earning Kirien a snide comment that had him pausing to peer down at the (b)ratty empress. "Oh. Sorry. Terribly difficult to be wearin' them when I keep losin' them though, y'know? Blind an' such." That being said, he seemed to have no trouble making it the rest of the way to the counter and order himself a drink (and a couple for the road).

Ranok looks incredibly dubious as Rowen consumes the corpse of the 'Biscuit Monster'. A hand is raised, as if to protest, but he lets it drop, "Er...yah. Yah, de ropes helped a goot bit. Hy don' tink hyu vant to hear de story uf how Hy found und fought it, it iz very borink."

The rat seems not at all impressed with Kirien's comment. "Being blind does not make you above the law, you know, my young fox!" She writes him out a fixed penalty notice for a fine of three pieces of silver. The rodent then waves Ranok away rather dismissively. "That was definately not the freshest corpse of a biscuit monster I have ever tasted my good man. Fetch me an umbrella, eighty-three pounds of sweet potatoes and an invisible dolphin named Keith. Snap to it, no dawdling!" adding as an afterthought "Indeed Ranok. I never want to hear any thing about you you are indeed very boring."

Ranok said to you, "But Hy hef. It iz right nekst to hyu, but hyu kannot see it because it iz invisible. "

Kirien , at the bar, gathered up his order of brandy from Mesthak then turned, seemingly heading for the door when he came to note that a slip of paper was now being waved at him. Various bottles were shoved into pockets and the satchel slung over one of his shoulders before the fox bent to pluck up the penalty notice, scanned it sightlessly, then leaned down to peer over the rim of his glasses at Rowen. "I can't read this, ma'am." How troublesome.

The invisible dolphin named Keith

Rowen crawls slowly across the tavern floor holding her paw out in front of her, expecting at any moment the find herself in contact with her dearly beloved subject, the invisible dolphin named Keith. "Did Keith bring his unicycle with him as per my last imperial proclamation? Also where are the damned umbrella and sweet potatoes. I never asked for those to be invisible as well. You really must pay -much- more attention when your empress is commanding you. Being a half wit is -no- excuse for such unforgivably poor service towards the epitome of perfection, empress Rowen."

Ranok replies, readily and patiently enough, "Keith vanted zum friends, hyu see. So he hed me make dem invisible. Hyu'll hef to take it up vith him, not me. Hy em chust a loyal subjeck, after hall."

Kirien shifted his gaze to Ranok, and arched a brow.

Rowen sighs sadly. "Half twit!" Yes she says twit not wit, as she addresses the long suffering Ranok. "Can you read at all? If so please read the fixed penalty notice to this juvenile delinquent here."

Kirien actually smirked at that. Juvenile delinquent, eh?

Ranok keeps a straight face as he holds out a hand to take the Imperial Penalty Notice from Kirien so that it can be read to him.Ranok knows that Kirien is blind, too.

Rowen consults her most trusted counsellor.

Rowen mutters something under her breath about incompetent underlings, who can't be trusted to get anything right. She then engages in one of her one sided converstaions with Nigel the half decomposed dead shark. So far as one can decipher half the dialogue, it is something about Ranok deserving to be horse-whipped. Though of course the benevolent empress would never order such a thing since it would be terribly cruel. Cruel that is to the whip, causing it to become all messy and covered in Ranok's blood, she doesn't mind being cruel to Ranok, who is after all but a lowly insignificant peasant.

Kirien managed to withhold a snort as he held out that little note to Ranok, and might already be reaching for a bottle of brandy.

Ranok takes the note from Kirien and announces in a grand voice, "De Grund Empress uf de Entire Known Oniverse, Duchess uf de Planes uf de Multiverse, Overvatch uf de Lunds uf Hollow, Regent uf Larket, und Most Honored High Priestess uf Daedria hes issued a high fine to de Vampric Fox known as Kirien, totalink a sum uf tree silver, to be paeed immediately." He was being so nice as repayment for Rowen's help with healing Nia, so it was a temporary thing. Not that Rowen likely notices his extraordinary patience in this matter, this time.

You oocly *huggles Ranok* The lil rat is indeed oblivious.

You announces in a commanding tone "Keith! I wish you to put on a show, a royal command performance, this very minute, here in this lowly tavern, pray ignore the ignorant scum like Ranok, and Kirien, here, they have not the education to appreciate fine art."

Kirien 's eyebrow raised further at all that and he turned to squint at Rowen's diminutive form, a mite bemused. What an interesting creature, clearly deluded beyond all belief; but he wouldn't berate her for that, for once, as there was entertainment to be found in her antics as well. "I see. Three silver it is." A coin bag was drawn from a pocket, fingers delving in briefly before they lifted back out, three small coins clenched between each knuckle which were then tossed toward the supposed empress. Whether by luck or a certain sneaky knack for terramancy, they landed in a neat little pile before the rat. Kirien waved, bowed, smiled broadly enough to confirm his vampiric heritage, then resumed his stride to the door and out.

Ranok crumples the 'decree' and tosses it over his shoulder, "Dere. De fine hes been paeed."

Kirien gave 3 silver to you.

Rowen calls after Kirien. "Pray, my young fox try to remain within the law in future. It distresses your empress greatly to see one so young choosing a life of crime."

Kirien 's amused snicker was a lingering echo of his presence here as he disappeared out of the tavern.