NPC:Jobbie
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| This page describes an NPC character that is a part of Vailkrin . You may use it in your RP freely. If you have any questions about the character, please ask Jolie . |
Jobbie F. Bunglewort, Esquire
As alchemists go, there is none better than Jobbie F. Bunglewort.
As Halfling go... well, Jobbie is probably the worst, most corrupt and disgusting example of his race in the entire history of Halflings. Greedy, hyper-paranoid, insensitive, grossly obese to the point of being housebound, covered in scabs and cankers caused by corrosive and inflammatory fumes and liquids, with table manners to make a hog blush and gods, the smell...
Yet, despite his not having a single redeeming feature, Jobbie has a string of loyal customers who will brave the rubbish-strewn, goon-guarded and booby-trapped alley leading to his faded scarlet door, in order to be soundly fleeced of their gold for his obviously overpriced goods.
And the reason they do so is because, simply, nobody is better.
Few know the exact location of his hideout. But rumour says it's somewhere in the vicinity of Nightshade Avenue.
History
Little Jobbie was always setting things on fire. Or dissecting them, or trying to make them do things they were never designed to do. Or turning them into something else, and throwing a tantrum when he couldn't. Or eating them, if they were edible. On top of that, he was obsessed with magic to the point where he somehow gleaned a very rudimentary knowledge of it, and to this day more than one local landmark in the region of his native home bears the scars of the resulting explosions.
His parents, in despair, sent him to the Xalious Magic Academy, where he was despised by every student and instructor without exception. Perhaps any other young halfling might've felt the sting of such loneliness and universal rejection, but to Jobbie it was heaven - he hated them all, anyway, and was glad to be left alone to indulge his increasing obsession with the art of alchemy and its capacity to cause immense harm to those same people.
He was, however, among the best and brightest of students, and while he was thoroughly disliked, Jobbie did excel academically (he was not at all above cheating and the use of blackmail to ensure those good marks), even earning a minor place in the Mage's Guild. This was possibly the Guild's greatest mistake, ever. Jobbie was not happy to be a small fish in a big pond, and his ambition and unpleasant demeanour, not to mention his lack of personal hygiene, made the halfling great many more enemies.
But Jobbie didn't care. He was so disliked that everybody ignored him, utterly. And that, along with a few minor improvements made to a stolen Cloak of Stealth, is how he managed to get into the restricted section of the Guild's library to pilfer spells and potion-recipes, and alchemical theorums far and beyond his approved level of clearance. This in itself was not his worst act or intention; Jobbie had decided that he was simply not moving up in rank fast enough for his liking, and had concocted a plot to bump off many of the students and adepts in rank above him, thereby paving the way for a meteoric - and, according to himself, entirely deserved - rise to power.
And he might've even gotten away with it, as he cleverly made every murder or serious maiming appear quite accidental, and he did indeed move up in rank as the number of rivals dropped dramatically and the Guild began to wonder if it had somehow become the victim of a curse, setting off a panic the likes of which has never been repeated. His mistake, the one that would earn him not only dislike on a national level but a price on his head and a death sentence passed in absentia, was in trying to murder the Arch Mage himself, thereby ostensibly throwing the Guild into a turmoil Jobbie could take advantage of at his leisure. Sadly for Jobbie, he is not quite as clever at hands-on assassination as he is at alchemy.
Fleeing the wrath of the Guild, the Xalious Guard and a slew of bountyhunters, Jobbie holed up in Vailkrin and soon was enmeshed in the criminal underworld there, who were thrilled to have a maker of such weaponry as naptha-bombs, pain-inducing amulets and light traps at their fingertips. He enjoyed a long association with the Forsaken Elf known as Garath, boss of the Vailkrin Underground at the time, but it was during this that his obsession reached insane proportions. Frankly, Jobbie had gone a little bit beyond strange; he desired nothing more than to enjoy not only his allotted lifetime but many more besides, and had set about seeking the Elixir of Youth for the benefit it might offer his own body - and, more importantly, for the untold wealth and power he would command when he put it on the market.
The irony is that he succeeded - by complete accident. A bit of whatever he'd had for his second helping of elevensies the day before, which was still adhered to one of his porkish cheeks, dropped off into the crucible of an experimental Elixir batch and the resulting fluid actually worked. Unaware of that vital, additional ingredient, Jobbie has never been able to replicate it and so it has become his 'white whale'. His apparent immortality is, three hundred years later, showing no signs of wearing off. The Elixir, though, does not ensure health or happiness, and so Jobbie is even more foul, even more paranoid and unlikeable, even more greedy and treacherous a creature than he ever was.
Which, of course, makes Jobbie even more dangerous. It is wise not to trust him, in any capacity except his skill at alchemy. And even then, he will cheat you out of whatever gold he possibly can.
Jobbie is also still on the Xalious' Most Wanted list, even though he is presumed dead these past three centuries. Apparently, the law there is still quite eager to inflict justice on him for his acts of treason, even if they must look beyond the grave to do so.