Fight:Comedy Tourney Duel Tysinni and Rowen
Part of the Epicly Awesome Tourney
Tysinni won :)
Tysinni makes her way towards the sight of this second round of hilarity. Oh who would her opponent be? Lark! There, across the way stands…a rat? Oh lord, its Rowen! The thief grins, flashing her royal majesty an exaggerated bow. "Your Magnanimousness, Greetings!" Now what exactly did rats like? Well, there was other rats, small holes, cheese…cheese! That's just the ticket. Ty starts hopping around the area, attempting to get close with out actually seeming to get close. Those beady little eyes of Rowen's were everywhere. From out of the pockets of her duster, she starts pulling bits of cheese, many different kinds, most definitely pilfered from the drunken Fermin who seemed hell bent on finding Nemo, their lost Captain. Ty starts reciting a little verse whilst beginning to chuck various pieces of cheese directly at the rat. "Eating greens is a special treat, It makes long ears and great big feet. But it sure is awful stuff to eat." She wasn't a bad aim, some would probably even head directly at the Empress, but soon the ground would be littered with all sorts of cheese bits.
Rowen bows politely to acknowledge Tysinni's respectful greeting to her much loved empress. Then the wonderful gifts appear. It does not occur to the rat that the cheese could possibly be poisoned or drugged, after all Tysinni is one of her most loyal subjects. "Thank you for you most humble.." Her serious speech gets cut off as she is hit on the nose by a piece of Camenbert. "...gifts in honour of the Royal Wedding." She nibbles happily at cheddar and stilton, before suddenly remembering that she has this duel thing to do. The rat prays to Kanos, hoping to get Tysinni in - big - trouble! Prays of how the thief robbed one of Kanos' clerics, even stripping the unfortunate man of his priestly apparel so he had to walk home wearing only his underwear. Sadly for Rowen, Kanos is not only trapped in the higher plane, but the dwarven demi-god also finds the whole story hilarious. He turns off the movie the ascended are all currently watching 'Bambi', ignoring the protests of Coreliant who has tears in his eyes from the emotional scene where the fawn's mother dies. Kanos then calls for more of race. These seven dwarves all have ridiculous names like Mopey or Smelly, mostly silly names ending in -y- except for Beerfull and Pox. They are singing an incredibly annoying song "Hi ho...Hi ho... it's off ..." It suddenly stops after a blood-curdling glance from Vakarash. Kanos regales his fellow ascendi, and the oddly named dwarves with the amusing tale of Tysinni stealing Lared's clothes. Except for Coreliant who hurries off to his room to watch the rest of 'Bambi', a handkerchief ready to catch his tears.
Tysinni watches Rowen suspiciously. That rat was up to no good. What did they expect from the thief? To dress in drag and do the hula? "Look, you're really cute but I can't understand what you're saying." And now for the next trick! Whatever will our thief-like heroine do next? "I'm gonna hit you so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy. " She reaches into her never-empty pockets and pulls out…a frog? A grinning frog at that! Kinda reminds her of Uchawiman for a moment. Maybe its his cousin. But Ty pats the frog on the head and sends it in Rowen's direction. "Oh look, it's the Prin…er….Empress and the Frog." Grinning, she watches as the frog hops leisurely over to the rat and stops right in front of her. Suddenly, the frog (whose name is actually Jasper) stands up on his back legs, presses a flipper to his heart and starts to croon words of love to the lovey royal rat. "Can you feel the looooove tonight?" After several ribbetted verses, Jasper will lean in for a kiss, its puckering froggy lips wet and slimy with anticipation.
Rowen is certainly very tempted to kiss the sweet amphibian, after all Jasper is an -extremely - handsome frog. Surely he must be a prince under an evil spell. But, Rowen has just, only yesterday got married to the love of her life, the one and only man she has ever loved, could ever love, her own Prince Charming, Bob. She is not about to be disloyal to her new husband with any Aristocat..not even if the Lion king himself were to offer to kiss her. Not wanting to hurt poor Jasper's feelings, she mumbles. "Forgive me, dear sir, but only yesterday I swore to love only my dear husband Bob until the end of time."Cyris the patron of Kanos gets Rowen's prayer redirected to him on his 'Dumbo' novelty phone. He thinks to his divine self 'Oh us gods no! Not that accursed rat again! What in Sven's name does she want this time? I bet it's about some imagined threat to her 'dearly beloved subjects' like that time she prayed of the terrible danger Hollow was in from some horrific gigantic mouse demon named Mickey and his evil hell hound Pluto.' Luckily on hearing the deluded little priestess' words, Cyris also finds the story highly amusing and decides to help her out. Perhaps getting divine inspiration (that is inspiring a divine being) from his phone. He sends the small flying elephant with - huge - ears to her aid. Dumbo has prepared by filling his trunk with water, which the flying pachiderm will squirt at Tysinni, not hard enough to really hurt her but to try to do great and terrible damage her pride by making her look -very- silly indeed!Rowen is now contentedly nibbling away at the piece of Camenbert that hit her on the nose, the fact that she is supposed to be dueling seems to have slipped the little rat's mind once more.
Tysinni is rather pleased with herself for providing such a clever distraction. The Empress even looked slightly intrigued by Jasper. The frog himself, of course, was all over morose at having been rejected by the love of his amphibious life. The saddened creature makes several depressed sounding ribbets before turning and hopping away, ostensibly to meet one of those other royal personages who would be more likely to accept his suit. Perhaps that sooty Cinderella or even the always exhausted Princess Aurora. He heard that one could sleep for years upon years. Which would give him plenty of time alone to hang with his friends, Oliver and company. Suddenly, struck by a bout of severe depression by the thought of never being with his one true love, Jasper hops over to the stream, pausing for a short farewell speech to his beloved, "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." And then throws himself into it, only to be immediately rescued by a little mermaid. Meanwhile, Ty finds herself at the receiving end of a magical trunk of water. "I thought I'd seen everything, until I seen an elephant fly!" Sputtering and coughing, she doffs her hat, looking very much like a drenched…well, rat. Inspiration strikes and the thief lunges for Rowen, hat grasped in both hands, intending to capture her royal majesty within the confines. "I'll get you you rat! And your little Bob, too!"
Rowen the cheese eating empress feels most annoyed when the world suddenly goes dark, how can she enjoy her dairy treats under these conditions? Luckily she has in a little locket around her neck a magic bean. She had swapped her undead cow, for a bag of them an old woman offered her earlier. She takes out the bean and plants it in the enchanment soil. Immediately a wonderful magical beanstalk shoots up into the clouds, most likely carrying Ty's hat with it. Rowen has to leap to one side, but even so gets a nasty bruise from a leaf which catches her as it whizzes upwards. The rat now uses her teeth to open a rather odd looking cardboard box she had left by the stream before the duel started. It has even stranger contents. She scatters around some sort of gameboard, a variety of small tin figurines,(a cute lion cub, a mermaid, a man on a magic carpet, a clown fish etc) dice, and many variously coloured pieces of card. The rat hands Tysinni a card which reads 'You have won second prize in a beauty contest recieve ten gold from each person.' The discarded box lid is labelled 'Monopoly - Disney Edition' Rowen grins at her cleverness, absolutely convinced that her opponent will at once, be so overcome with vanity about her incredible beauty that she will cede the duel to the rat-beast in order to avoid possibly marring such physical perfection by brawling. Thus ending this conflict between - Beauty and the Beast.
Tysinni crows triumphantly as she captures the Empress in her hat. What a feat! Perhaps Rowen was like a genii and grant her three wishes! Half expecting a sentient, blue cloud-man to pop out, she's more than shocked when there comes a'rumblin' from inside the hat. "Sounds like someone's sick. How lovely. I do hope it's serious. Something dreadful." Perhaps the rat would be changing forms….a wizard's duel! How nice! Merlin would be so proud. Suddenly, the thief's prized possession, her hat is ripped from her grip, shooting up into the sky atop a…beanstalk? Gaping upwards for a moment, Ty suddenly turns her attention back to Rowen. "My hat! I don't think you know Jack about my hat!" Really, if it weren't for the fact that she could even now, hear Jasper teaching his fellow stream-dwellers to sing, "Hakuna Matata, it means no worries for the rest of your days!" She would call him back over so that the frog might plant his big moist lips right on Rowen. Would serve her right. The thief eyes the Empress before swooning in a most 'damsel in distress' like fashion. "I shan't be able to live without my hat!" Most likely Rowen would take this as a sign she had won, Ty was well aware of how the little rat's mind worked.