Duel:Mesdoram v Rowen

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Epicly Awesome Tourney First Round Match-Up

Mesdoram v Rowen

Duel Type:OOC Silly Duel/First Round of the Epicly Awesome Tourney

Date: Thursday, September 8th, 2011 (9/8/2011)

Time Limit: No longer than 10 minutes per post.

Location: Mystic Stream in the Kingdom of Enchantment.

Judges: Tiphareth, Jolie, Muzo

Stakes: Advancement to the next round of the Epicly Awesome Tourney for the winner and Elimination from the Tournament for the Loser.

Special Condition: Both will be attacked by a gang of Undead Clowns with hammers

Winner: Rowen 2-0 (Jolie was mailed the duel, and hasn't given result. Regardless, Rowen was winner with the two present judges)

Attacked by a gang of undead clowns with hammers comedy duel

Featuring: Mesdoram and Rowen

Rowen declared the winner

Mesdoram || The two combatants square up their shoulders, each glaring fiercely at one another. A brist gale picks up, and everyone's neat hair gets a bit frilly. Mesdoram points at Rowen, and begins to utter a heroic speech... but.. what is this foreign noise? Something... that sounds like an angry goose? "Honk Honk" is heard as a miniature multicolored car parks in-between the duelist. The tiny doors open, and evil undead clowns start coming out... how did they get all those people in such a tiny car? Like.. seriously? And why did they have hammers? As the gang surround the two, Mesdoram's black skin becomes very much white and he shivers. "Clowns.. why did have to be clowns!!??" The drow frantically charges at Rowen, poorly using his shield to protect him from the savage beating the clowns inflict on him. One by one, the clowns hits him with the blunt objects, and one squeak-toy hammer. After taking much abuse, the drow notices something in one of the clowns' pants. Mesdoram bravely grabs for it... it's a dirty ole cream pie! Taking the delicious-moldy treat in his grasp, and flings it at Rowen, hoping that the gooey delight will turn the clowns attention on her.

Rowen has sweet sticky pie smashed all over her imperial, hamsterball means of transportation. It obstructs her vision,and lots of bits are forced through the airholes into the interior, it tastes great though, she licks eagerly, trying to work out just what flaovour it is, it is most likely pilchard and raspberry she concludes. The miniature multicolored car had appeared to have emiited its last undead circus funny man. This is not the case From it emerge many more of the clowns. Once again there are far, far, more than logically should have been able to fit inside. several of them trip over their ridiculously large shoes...but no if one looks closer they are not just wearing massive shoes. Those clowns wearing open-toed sandals and no socks make it obvious that these undead funny men actually have incredibly huge feet, perhaps giant's feet, sewn onto their ankles where the feet they were born with have been removed. Their arms are also mis-matched obviously having been sewn on from corpses of a different race. Some clowns only have one arm, some have three four or five. Some have two or more heads. One of the clowns swings his hammer, which on closer inspection looks very much like an upside down flamingo, at the hamsterball memorial to the much loved dandy Cornelius. The undead flamigo-wielder circus performer hits the orb containing the little empress of the known universe. very much as if he were playing croquet. Unlike in such a civilised game, however, the sphere rat and all fly through the air towards her drow opponent.

Mesdoram fends off many of the clowns as best as he can, the drow's endurance that what it used to be. Strangely enough, a moment of peace? One of the clowns offer Mesdoram a hankerchief which the drow takes hold of. As he pulls on the cloth, more appear from the clown's sleeve. And on... and on... Mesdoram screams, "What sorcery is this!!??" It is then that Mesdoram is struck by a hard sphreic object, and takes a tumble. The man is now slightly concussed as he begins vomitting all over the clowns' shoes. The gang is not too happy about it and glare evilly at the drow. Quickly looking left and right, Mesdoram offers the clowns the infinitly growing hankerchief to whip to vile mess off their shoes. This motion insults the gang, and they pick him and the hamsterball up in their grasp. What horrible new attack could they be performing!? Will they rip Rowen from her hamster ball? Would they be removing all of Mesdoram's limbs? No... it appears they start... juggling the two? Yes, like bowling pins at a BarneyBee Circus at, the two are exchanged in the air between several clown members. As Mesdoram spews a little more of his guts, he somehow grabs one of the clowns hammers, and starts swinging wildly in the air. His intent is to break the Unbreakable ball, or hit a few clowns in the process.

Rowen :: The three legged rat is shocked and most indignant at the behaviour of the clowns. It is not the fact that are undead and evil that troubles her so. Nor is it they way they were ruthlessly trying to batter both herself and her opponent with hammers. Nor yet is it the disrepectful way of them, is juggling with both her hamsterball encased self, and with Mesdoram. No in Rowen's opinion the completely unforgivable crime they are committing is to be dressed in dazzlingly bright ,garish, colourful costumes during the month long period of mourning, throughout the entire universe that she has declared in honour of the dear deaparted Von Pensance. She tries to remonstrate with them, explain what a terrible atrocity it is, that even though deade, or rather undead themselves, they have no respect for the memory of other dead folks. Sadly the little rodent is unable to speak, as she rat-tles around inside the unbreakable sphere, becoming quite dizzy. The ball is indeed struck by Mesdoram's hammer, it is thrown up into the air, then recaught by the skilled juggler who continues to use it in his act.Whoever attached those clown's arms, did not do a great job, they are losing them left right, other right, other right, and the one on top of the head. At least five assorted limbs become detached from their undead owner's torso. The juggling clown who has two heads a fermin and a high elven princess of infinite dazzling beauty, picks up these five arms and adds them to his odd mix of juggled items.Soon the drow is not the only one to vomit, and there is reguritated pilchard and raspberry pie all over the inside of the orb, all over the bouncing battered rat's fur, her eyes ears, whiskers etc. The hamsterball seems to have become Rowen's own personal vomit comet. She prays to a god she seems to remember Marcellus teaching her of once. Frosty the snow god. Her prayers are answered. The snowman deity appears, pulls out his carrot nose, and attempts to stab the drow with it.

Mesdoram || The clowns release their grip of the drow as frigid beast is summoned by Rowen. As the concussed man staggers back unto his feet, he stares up at Frosty and forgets himself. "But mommy... I don't want to go to school today..." The vegetable weapon is now slammed down at Mesdoram's feet and the foundation shakes violently, the quakes sending many of the clowns tumbling like domino's. The swaying motions from the delirious drow seems to be choreographed perfectly as the man doesn't fall. Instead, arms spread wide up and warmly embraced the carrot in a tender hug. "I want to stay home, and bake cookies with you!" Frost violently yanks up his healthy weapon and propells the man skyward. During his flailing around, the man manages to grab hold of one of the god's charocoal eyes, where he hiccups a bit. Mesdoram shouts, "I'm queen of the world!" Clearly, this perplexes many of the clowns that are starting to get back to their feet. "A celebration!" is uttered from Mesdoram, and he shoots a fireball near the icy snow giant. He slowly begins to melt, and the drow does not stop shooting his fireworks into the frozen god's form. Little by little, this magic has produced a mighty waterfall that begins it's decent, and a might splash is produced. This tsunami begins to terrorize the clowns, and many head back to their car. If this unintentional attack works, the amount of water produced by Frosty will flush away the army far away from the battle field, along with Rowen.

Rowen :: The little priestess hears Mesdoram cry "I'm queen of the world!" The deluded rat, who thinks herself supreme empress of the known universe is incredibly shocked at the unbelieveable arrogance of the drow to believe such a thing. The rat, hamsterball and all do indeed begin to be washed away by the flood of incredibly holy water that was until recently a god. To Rowen's rescue comes her closest friend. Her sphere is caught securely in the jaws of Nigel the half decomposed dead shark, dressed respectfully for the, dandy inspired, period of mourning in a black bridesmaid's dress, complete with veil. Now almost everyone else who had ever met Nigel believed him to be just the half rotten corpse of a shark, who only speak, thinks, moves lives, in Rowen's deluded little mind. But, it seems they are all mistaken as Nigel is now indeed moving of his own volition. Perhaps Rowen is the only sane person in the universe after all. Using his flippers,Nigel holds up for Mesodoram to see an almost sickeningly cute kitten with a pink bow tied around its neck. Drow are after all reknowned for their soft-heartedness, and soppiness. Surely the shark believes, this will cause Mesodoram, to be overcome with an incredibly emotional "Awwwwwwwww!" and lose all interest in attacking his furry little friend. The completely deluded little rat knows without any doubt in her mind that she is by far the greatest duellist that ever lived and so should of course be declared the winner. She -fears- however that those damn inconvenient judges might, most unfairly, be taking the stuff that actually happened in the duel into consideration, rather than just automatically declaring her the victor with having watched it, as any sane person would do. She begins a -very whingy prayer to - All the gods of Hollow - she is extraordinarily rude to the gods, and insulting to all the judges. She -demands - that any potential decision against her be overturned and that she should be declared the winner. The duel was obviously rigged she -now- realises. None of the judges -ever- liked her anyhow, and besides it is unfair for people who actually know anything about duelling and who pay attention to the duel to judge. "The only fair way," she shouts angrily in her prayer to Sven and all the rest, stamping her hindpaw, like a bratty little two year old having a tantrum. "Is to have the judges blinded with red hot pokers and their ear drums burst, before the duel. so they can see or hear nothing that might affect their decision. The rodent demands that the omniscient gods -must- use their mighty mind control powers to force each of the judges to make the right decision to vote for Rowen!

Mesdoram blinks a couple of times, and wounders why he is wet. Did he have another accident? He shakes his head as he looks down to the fish that is carrying him: the shark with a big nose, whitish complexion, and somewhat stupid and unexciting. He stares closer, "... Boozo the clown?" The man is carried away as the gods mutter amoungst themselves, carelessly allowing an almost dead creature wisk him away to saftey. "Well, Boozo." Mesdoram says, "We are going to be just fine." The man exits the battle field, perhaps never to be seen again.