Duel:Alex v Mr. Rock, Round One Agitation Monster Tournament

Part of the Agitation Arc

Duelists: Alex vs. Mr.Rock, a pet rock (played by Hildegarde). 
Duel: Traditional 3 attacks and defenses each. 15 minute posting limit. 
Stakes: Advancement into Round Two of the Agitation Monster Tournament. 
Judges: Kang & Linn  

Rough Range (Xalious)

With the rocky path of the rough range, it was easy for anyone to miss Mr. Rock. After all, he is but a simple rock and here he lurks amongst his brethren though they seem to be lackwits to the mortal eyes of these two-legged imbeciles who trod upon him and his kin. Although Mr. Rock was quite unique: unlike these fellow rocks, stones and pebbles that litter the trail, he has been imbued with sentience and abilities that would certainly label him as a “mutant”. With the crunching of footsteps upon loose gravel and stones, Mr. Rock is alerted to the approach of Alex and he can hold back his fury no longer. How dare Alex walk all over his friends and, no, not his beloved Roxy – an exotic pebble from Cenril! Without a sound, numerous rocks and stones begin to lift up into the air as if being lifted by a powerful psion before flitting speedily at Alex whilst the stones under his feet rapidly clamber up and over his feet to trap him into place. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Alex is walking along minding his own business when a rock pelts him right on the tip of the nose, "Hey!" he exclaims while raising his hand raises to assess the damage but a barrage of stones suddenly begin slapping against the man's causing him to bring up both of his arms as a defensive shield to block the damage but he's suddenly distracted by the rocks rooting him to the ground, thinking quickly he yanks the giant bag on his back around to the side and hastily retrieves a golden saxophone which he promptly begins using as a golf club swinging away at the rocks to free himself a few of which just might have the right trajectory to land a blow on ol' rock face himself, all the while still taking rocks to that pretty little face of his.

Mr. Rock is a rock and looks no different from any other rock. He is a master of camouflage here in the rough range, where he blends in seamlessly with his fellow rocky brethren. So as some of the rocks are walloped away by the golden saxophone, the psionic pebble uses his mutant-like ability to curve the trajectory of the stone to send the right back to Alex: gaining momentum and force from his wallop and the psionic push of the indomitable stone cold Mr. Rock. Mr. Rock, though, is incredibly stone-hearted given that he has no actual organs and is, in fact, a hunk of minerals commonly called a stone, a rock or a pebble and thus he has no qualms with using his newly found mental faculties and abilities to sharply shave some of the stones into pernicious points as they fly for Alex’s eyes, throat and groin.

Alex is pretty hopeless looks like quite an idiot out there dancing about while getting his arse kicked by a bunch of rocks yet this doesn't diminish the brave man's will to fight against this grand evil and invisible foe. Growing frustrated at the lack of effectiveness from his current tactic Alex throws the saxophone off into the distance once his feet have been freed from their rocks hold and swings his bag back around to pull out his most glorious weapon, a long black oboe who's stainless steel shines like the light of a thousand suns in the daylight. He takes a sharpened stone to the nads and screams in pain as his knees nearly buckle before having another pierce his arm but there is no time for pain! Alex must fight on! He grips the instrument tightly with both hands and begins swinging it about with great precision deflecting the projectiles with finesse making futuristic sounds with his mouth as he does so and his privates slowly regain feeling. Yet defense isn't enough in this great battle and Alex is soon on the offensive as well, kicking his heavy steel-toed boot into every giant rock that he sees hoping to somehow break their iron will in the name of all humanity.

Mr. Rock’s telekinetically fired rocks are merciless and the ‘ping’ and ‘patter’ they make as they collide against Alex and his possessions at such high speed and quantity almost sound like a high pitched, shrill sort of laughter. Maniacal rock laughter. If the stone to Alex’s stones hadn’t rocked his world, then Mr. Rock was soon about to. While the futuristic sounds throw a few of his fellow stones off course, Mr. Rock is already devising how best to defeat this bumbling bard who stomps around in leather boots and leather robe like apparel: the rocks, stones and pebbles of the ground before Alex and all around him suddenly jut upright and into fine sharpened points and while Alex cannot enhance his vision to look at the rocks more closely, should he step upon a sharpened stone he’ll soon discover that though they are sharpened, they are cut into jagged little barbs all along their length meaning they are quite likely to embed in his poor little feet should he continue his attempt to suss out the location of Mr. Rock. With this rather offensive defensive measure in place, Mr. Rock glows a slight blue – a sign that all his telekinetic abilities were under duress from such intense use – as he finally casts a few more stones in the direction of Alex: aiming for his oboe and his delicate little fingers; fingers that are said to be the most important tool of a bard’s trade, for a bard with broken fingers will never play the same way again.

Alex is tired, he spends all day sitting around playing a freakin' guitar and suddenly he's facing an army of rocks which was exhausting work with all the kicking about and what not. Upon taking a step further the jagged shrapnel pierces through his boot and into his foot which in turn earns an ear shattering girl like shriek from the bard. His eyes fill up with tears but the watery vision isn't enough to obscure the ominous glow coming from the rock just ahead. Alex's frown turns into a scowl as he decides the time for play must come to an end and it's time to fight these rocks... with rock! He drops the Oboe and time seems to slow as it bounces off of the cold... er, rocky ground and he reaches into his pocket to retrieve the greatest instrument the world has ever seen - the kazoo. This small brightly painted orange instrument may seem harmless but as it's raised to his lips the truth of the menacing relic would soon be seen for as Alex hummed as hard as he could the enchanted beast burst to life with the beautiful harmonic sounds erupting into a thunderous boom accompanied by a powerful shockwave that aims to blow back all of the assaulting stones and hopefully end their rocky reign of terror.

Mr. Rock is fortunately made of sturdy stuff! As the menacing sound from the kazoo toots out a thunderous boom, many rocks, stones and pebbles are sent shuddering backwards; smaller ones breaking up into little pieces. But Mr. Rock has been mostly hidden throughout this encounter, smothered by his fellow rocks and gravel. He sinks deeper into the rocky family in the hopes that the bumbling bard bumbles away from him and his lot before he must rock him like a hurricane.

Mr. Rock wins.